The Star Agency (The Star Agency Chronicles)

by R. E. Weber

  After washing, dressing and eating some of the strange herby bread, which had been perfectly toasted on all sides to a uniform brown colour, he lay back down on his bed, called up some of his mp3 music files, which he’d managed to install onto his companion without any assistance. Then slowly, he began to melt away into the music.

  *

  Theo had done virtually nothing for the remainder of the day except relax in his quarters, but that hadn’t stopped time racing by far more quickly than he’d wanted it to. Now, he had only five minutes before Ruby was due to arrive and whisk him away for his mysterious night out.

  Five minutes. When was he going to train himself out of the habit of converting local time into Earth hours and minutes? He knew that each Polisian standard day, or ch’ha, was equivalent to about thirty Earth hours, and that there were fifty Polisian standard hours, or por, in each ch’ha. Each Por was subdivided into fifty Polisian minutes, or seh’nu, and their equivalent of seconds was the na, of which again there were fifty in each seh’nu. He had worked out that a Seh’nu was just under three quarters of an Earth minute, and that each Por was about thirty-six minutes. And Ruby was due to arrive in about seven seh’nu.

  As Theo sat on his bed waiting for Ruby, it occurred to him that perhaps, just perhaps, his attachment to hours, minutes and seconds, meant that he hadn’t truly let go of his life back on Earth. Not yet anyway. Then, just as his thoughts began to drift away, back to the life he had left behind, he heard a familiar bleep on his companion followed by a message:

  Rubina Chaudhry requests immediate entry to your quarters.

  Ruby was early. Damn.

  Quickly, he stood up, turned to face the far wall and enabled the mirror function on his companion. Then he scanned himself up and down. There was a loose strand of hair dangling over his forehead. Not good. He licked the tips of his fingers, rubbed them along the strand and then glued it as best he could to the top of his head. Anything else? He looked back at the mirror image and could immediately see that his jacket was crumpled. He grabbed the bottom with both hands, pulled it straight and smoothed it out with his palms. Then he looked back at himself. Better.

  He turned, walked over to the door and took a deep breath:

  Allow

  The doorway slid silently open and Theo looked out. Then his jaw literally dropped. For a brief moment, he thought that he was staring at somebody else, but then he knew that was ridiculous. He looked Ruby up and down, from her beaming face, past her tiny waist, to her dainty feet. She was wearing the most amazing outfit he’d ever seen: a stunning electric blue garment, beautifully woven with red and gold thread, which was wrapped around her waist and draped loosely over her shoulder. Her long shiny black hair, which was normally tied up in a ponytail, was hanging loosely over her shoulders and down her front. Theo continued to stare, without saying a word.

  ‘What’s up Theo, haven’t you ever seen a Sari before?’ said Ruby.

  ‘Erm, yeh, I mean…no, well not like that,’ said Theo.

  ‘There’s a first time for everything. Now just close your mouth Theo and let’s get going. We don’t want to be late.’

  Still staring in amazement at Ruby, Theo stepped out of his quarters. Then together, they headed off down the corridor.

  ‘So erm, how come I’ve never seen that before then, Rubes?’

  ‘Well a girl’s gotta have some secrets, hasn’t she? Anyway, glad to see you’ve made a real effort,’ said Ruby sarcastically, looking down at Theo’s dull grey jacket and trousers.

  ‘I’m not really into clothes,’ said Theo sheepishly.

  ‘Yeh, I can see,’ said Ruby.

  Shortly after, they reached the end of the corridor and stood on the ledge overlooking the huge central core of Polisium Prime. Ruby walked to the edge of the platform and rolled her eyes for a moment. Then she looked back at Theo and smiled. Seconds later, a platform floated up and stopped at the edge of the ledge.

  ‘Taxi’s here,’ said Ruby.

  Theo followed Ruby onto the platform, and almost immediately it began to glide silently upwards.

  ‘You still haven’t told me where we’re going yet, Rubes.’

  ‘No I haven’t,’ said Ruby, ‘and you know what? I’m not going to.’

  ‘Why not?’ said Theo.

  ‘It’ll spoil the surprise,’ said Ruby, grinning.

  ‘Oh,’ said Theo disappointed, ‘it had better be good then.’

  ‘You could try and show a bit more enthusiasm. I’ve blown most of my entertainment credits on tonight.’

  ‘I erm, hardly ever use mine,’ said Theo. ‘I mean, I’m too tired to go out a lot of the time anyway. I’m happy just reading and listening to music back in my quarters, if I’ve got the time.’

  ‘Oh yeh, so am I. But it’s nice to go out occasionally, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yeh. I mean I am looking forward to it, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t know what to expect.’

  ‘What from me or where we’re going?’

  ‘Oh no, not from you,’ lied Theo. ‘It’s just this place you’re taking me to.’

  ‘I think you’ll be impressed,’ said Ruby, linking her arm into Theo’s as the platform continued to glide upwards. ‘I’ve heard nothing but good things about it.’

  They continued chatting while the platform raced upwards, but after a couple of minutes, with no apparent destination in sight, Theo began to wonder where they might be heading. Most of the platform rides he’d taken so far, hadn’t lasted more than about thirty seconds or so, yet there they were still gliding upwards, getting closer and closer to the top of the station core. Then, as he stared upwards, he noticed something unusual. Several hundred meters above him, enshrouded in mist, he could see some glimmering lights moving around what looked like a massive crescent moon shaped structure on one side of the station core. As the platform closed in and the lights began to resolve themselves, he could see that they were actually symbols and words gliding to and fro across its surface. Using his companion’s zoom and translator, he focussed on the underside of the structure and began to read. But all it seemed to say was Welcome in several languages and nothing more. Nothing that gave him any clues as to what it might be.

  ‘Is that it, up there?’ said Theo, pointing towards the lights.

  ‘Yep, that’s it,’ said Ruby, smirking. ‘That’s the place.’

  About thirty seconds later, the platform drifted to a halt and clamped itself to the edge of the crescent moon shaped structure.

  Ruby turned to look at Theo with a mischievous grin. ‘Welcome to Open Space,’ she said.

  Theo looked beyond the edge of the platform, past a long queue of beings, to see what looked like a shimmering translucent wall. Behind the wall, he could see the fuzzy outlines of dozens of beings either sat down or walking to and fro, with various lights bobbing up and down, darting left and right and weaving in and out between them. Beyond that, it was hard to make out what was happening.

  In the queue in front of them were about twenty or so beings, slowly shuffling towards a doorway, either side of which a metallic looking orb was hovering. Every time one of the beings reached the front of the queue, it would step forward. Then one of the orbs would approach it and something, which Theo couldn’t quite make out, would seem to then happen. Then the being would pass through the doorway and the same procedure would be repeated on the next. Floating around the queue – bobbing up and down and popping into and out of existence – were the images of dozens of objects, none of which Theo recognised.

  ‘What is this place?’ said Theo.

  ‘I told you, it’s Open Space. Or at least that’s the nearest translation I could find.’

  ‘But what is it? I mean, what are all those things over there?’ said Theo, pointing to the floating images. ‘I’ve never seen anything like them before.’

  ‘Food,’ said Ruby.

  ‘Food?’ said Theo. ‘So what is it then, a restaurant?’

  ‘Oh at last,’ said Ruby s
arcastically. ‘But this isn’t just a restaurant, it’s the restaurant.’

  ‘But I’ve never even heard of this place’ said Theo. ‘How did you...’

  ‘Never mind that. Somebody else might want this platform. Shall we?’ said Ruby, gesturing towards the queue.

  Quickly, Theo stepped off the platform closely followed by Ruby, who then took his arm and led him to the end of the queue.

  Within a couple of minutes, they had reached the front of the queue and were facing the doorway, either side of which were the metallic orbs.

  ‘Step forward into the circle below you guest and hold out an appropriate limb,’ said one of the orbs.

  Confidently, Ruby stepped forward and held out her hand. A tiny tube appeared from the centre of the orb and snaked its way down to her hand. She flinched slightly as what looked like a tiny needle gently stabbed the tip of her finger. As a tiny globule of blood appeared, another tube popped out of the orb and sucked it up, before quickly spraying some sort of liquid onto it. Almost immediately, the bleeding stopped.

  ‘Customisation complete,’ said the Orb a few seconds later. ‘Welcome, Rubina Chaudhry. Step through the entrance and wait for your associate.’

  Ruby stepped through the doorway and waited while the orb repeated the same process on Theo.

  ‘Ouch,’ he said as the orb stabbed his finger.

  ‘Big girl,’ said Ruby through the doorway, grinning. But Theo just forced a sarcastic smile back at her.

  ‘Customisation complete,’ said the orb. ‘Welcome, Theopolis James Logan. You may now enter and greet your associate. Your guide will escort you to your reserved seating.’

  Theo stepped through the doorway and then, for the second time that evening, he just stopped and stared open mouthed at the sight that met his eyes. Almost as far as he could see, there were row upon row of tables of various heights, surrounded by benches, chairs, cushions or blank patches of floor. Around each table, either sitting down, standing up, or crouched on the floor, were literally thousands of alien beings, some of which were from species Theo had never even seen before. Some were huddled together, talking animatedly or examining glowing lists of information hovering at the ends of their tables, while others seemed to be prodding, sniffing or eating pieces of food that were suspended in mid-air. Above their heads were lights of all shapes and colours, bobbing around, whizzing to and fro, or just pulsating gently. The whole area was the size of several football fields and Theo had never seen so many alien creatures in the same place at the same time.

  As Theo tried to take in the amazing view, a tiny red and blue pulsing orb suddenly appeared out of thin air in front of them. As Theo took a step towards the orb, it began to glide away from him.

  ‘Our guide, I assume,’ said Theo.

  ‘Come on,’ said Ruby linking arms. ‘Let’s follow.’

  They followed the orb for at least a minute as it weaved in and out of row upon row of tables and chairs, before it eventually stopped above an empty table at the edge of the restaurant, overlooking the huge expanse of the station core.

  ‘Looks like the best seat in the house,’ said Ruby smiling.

  ‘You sure?’ said Theo nervously as he looked out across the core, not wanting to think about what was below him.

  As they sat down on opposite sides of a plain metallic looking table, the glowing orb, which was still hovering above the table, began to speak.

  ‘Your customized selections are now complete, guests. Make your choices and they will be prepared to your requirements.’ Then, without waiting for a response, it just vanished into thin air.

  ‘Programmed by Polisians I guess,’ said Ruby.

  ‘Yeh,’ said Theo as he glanced around. ‘Great manners as usual.’

  About a meter or so above their heads, several multi-coloured lights appeared in mid-air and began to pulse gently. Then a public context point popped into existence at the end of their table.

  ‘Ah, the menu I presume,’ said Ruby touching the context point to open the interactive display.

  ‘So what was all that with the blood sample when we entered?’

  ‘Oh yeh, they were just checking our compatibility with their food to make sure we wouldn’t react badly to any of it. They give us customised menus here. Food which suits each of us.’

  ‘Guess they just don’t want to give us food poisoning?’ said Theo.

  ‘Something like that,’ said Ruby.

  Theo looked back at the menu and read the top few items:

  Polisian Algae Bread

  Dantun bloodworm pate

  Baked Grassan ferment

  ‘What on earth is this stuff?’ said Theo.

  ‘In case you haven’t noticed Theo, you’re not on Earth.’

  ‘But I don’t know what any of this stuff tastes like,’ said Theo. ‘It could be anything.’

  ‘So? Take a chance,’ said Ruby. ‘You never know, you might enjoy it.’

  ‘I do, I like green eggs and ham,’ said Theo, grinning.

  ‘I can’t see that on the menu,’ said Ruby scanning the list. ‘Where is it?’

  Theo burst out laughing. ‘You mean to tell me you never read Dr Seuss when you were a kid, Rubes?’

  ‘Erm, no I didn’t really like Star Trek,’ said Ruby.

  Theo laughed even more. ‘No Rubes, it’s a book, a children’s book. It’s all about trying things you’ve never had before. You know, taking chances.’

  ‘Well if you’re so clever then, why don’t you go first,’ said Ruby.

  ‘Alright then, I will.’

  Theo touched Polisian Algae Bread:

  Coating: Sweet, Bitter, Savoury

  He touched Savoury. The item then re-appeared in the list with a glowing blue line underneath it.

  ‘You next, Rubes.’

  Ruby touched Baked Grassan ferment:

  Style: Toasted, Warmed, Chilled

  Ruby selected Warmed, which appeared underlined in Red. Then at the bottom of the menu they noticed something else:

  Further Choices Recommended.

  ‘They’re probably trying to tell us it’s not enough,’ said Ruby. ‘I guess they even know how hungry we are.’

  ‘Certainly looks like it,’ said Theo.

  They both scanned the list to see if there was anything else they liked the look of, or at the very least had an idea what it might be. Then Theo spotted something near the bottom and a huge grin appeared across his face. He only had to see Ruby’s look of disgust to know that she’d spotted the same thing:

  Boneath excreta.

  ‘I dare you,’ said Theo pointing to the menu option, grinning.

  ‘No way,’ said Ruby.

  ‘But Rubes, it’s like you said. Take a chance, you might enjoy it.’

  ‘It sounds horrible. Besides, I don’t even know what a Boneath is,’ said Ruby.

  ‘Don’t tell me it’s boneath you?’ said Theo, barely able to talk for laughing.

  Ruby just looked back at him and curled her mouth sarcastically.

  ‘Go on, I dare you. I’ll have a bit too,’ said Theo.

  ‘Oh I’m not sure. I didn’t come all this way to eat….’

  ‘Go on, Rubes,’ interrupted Theo. ‘Do it for me.’

  Ruby stared back at Theo for a few seconds, without speaking. Then she took a deep breath.

  ‘Oh, all right then,’ she said and touched the item on the menu. Then a couple of options appeared next to it:

  Warmed, Ambient Temperature

  Theo burst out laughing again.

  ‘Hey, come on Rubes, you can’t go back now. This place was your idea, remember?’

  ‘Yeh, it was, wasn’t it?’ said Ruby. ‘Remind me next time I try and arrange a surprise for you, won’t you?’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ said Theo between fits of laughter. ‘I won’t be letting this one go.’

  ‘Oh well, here goes,’ said Ruby.

  She touched Ambient Temperature. The option became underlined.

  ‘Y
our turn,’ said Ruby.

  Theo looked down the Menu. He couldn’t see anything that even looked remotely familiar, so he just picked one at random:

  Baked Chrone eggs with Jabash.

  Then a message appeared at the bottom of the screen:

  Please confirm final selections.

  Compatible beverages will be supplied.

  Confirm

  Further selections

  Cancel

  ‘Shall I go for it?’ said Theo, still grinning.

  ‘Yeh, I suppose,’ said Ruby.

  Theo touched Confirm. Then another message appeared:

  Your selections will be prepared and sent to you shortly.

  Seconds later, their menus disappeared and Theo stared back at Ruby, smiling.

  ‘Well this is nice, isn’t it?’ said Ruby, not exactly sure what else to say.

  ‘Nice?’ said Theo. ‘It’s amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it. I wonder if you have to tip the waiters?’

  ‘I doubt it somehow,’ said Ruby. ‘They’re just orbs.’

  ‘Don’t say that, you might hurt their feelings,’ said Theo.

  Ruby smiled. ‘Well, I don’t suppose they have…’

  Suddenly, Ruby stopped talking, noticing that Theo was no longer paying attention and was instead staring at something behind her. Quickly, she spun round in her seat and looked back. Then her mouth dropped open. The strangest looking creature that she had ever seen was clumping its way towards them on all fours, following an orb that was skimming across the floor.

  Transfixed, they both stared at the strange creature, which looked like it had been made by welding two totally different species together. Its body and tail looked a little like that of a squat, brown, leathery skinned, stumpy crocodile, albeit with a shorter tail and longer more muscular legs, while its head had more in common with an octopus, with a rounded domed skull, two jet black eyes and a set of short fat muscular tentacles around it’s toothy mouth. It also had a long scar down the left hand side of its face, just under its eye. As the creature walked, its head swung clumsily from side to side, flicking globules of brown drool everywhere from its flailing tentacles. And its muscular legs were swinging around so wildly, as it tried to drag its heavy body forward, that it kept clouting the edges of the tables and chairs as it passed. Despite its striking appearance and clumsy behaviour, none of the other beings in the restaurant looked remotely interested in the creature, and barely seemed to notice its presence, even when it accidentally bumped into one of them or stood on one of their outstretched feet.