Operation Christmas

by Barbara Weitz

  Jess didn’t talk much until they were almost to her house. Okay, technically, her parent’s house, which meant she wouldn’t be inviting Jess inside. It amazed her to think such a thought. She rubbed her thumb against her wedding band before slipping her fingers into leather gloves.

  The car wasn’t even in Park before he stated her name in such a way she understood he didn’t want her to bolt off. Adrenaline and a good dose of uncertainty hit wondering if he intended to kiss her. Could she give him one kiss and not feel guilty? A friendly thank you token for a good time that didn’t say more would follow? She already found herself dealing with feelings of betrayal for having had such a good time. After two years of mourning, she instinctively knew this wasn’t a healthy sign.

  “Do you like to be called Maddie or Madeleine?”

  Not the question she expected. She grinned, remembering Tamara called her by the nickname. “Some people call me Maddie. My family uses my full name. I’m not sure why.”

  “I like Madeleine. I’ll stick with that.”

  She saw him appreciating the Christmas decorations on the house. The front door had a small stoop and sat in the middle of a mid-sized two-story Colonial. White Christmas lights decorated the bushes, while a floodlight beamed against a dark red door with a wreath. He turned to her. “I had a good time tonight. Would you like to go to the mall tomorrow and soak up some more Christmas spirit? We could grab a bite at Brickman’s.”

  Madeleine loved Brickman’s cozy interior and fabulous salad bar. She also appreciated Jess didn’t pressure her for the kiss she fretted over. The awkward uncertainty of dating made her move her head in a slow shake. “I’ve plans for tomorrow,” she fibbed. “But I had a great time. Your friends are awesome. Loved Tamara.”

  “Me too. I told you she was special. How about dinner after work Monday?”

  “Uh, busy. Christmas.” She made an apologetic shrug in hopes the busy season would be excuse enough.

  “Ah, the gentle brush-off.”

  “No. Not at all.” Her words were defensive. But Jess wouldn’t be winning any awards for tact and putting her in a tight spot. He gave her one of those “yah, right. I wasn’t born yesterday” looks. She tried to keep her chest from heaving under the rapid beat of her heart. “Look. I’m not ready to date. I don’t remember how to date,” she said in a breathless whisper more for her benefit than Jess’s.

  “Maybe it’s just me, but it seemed we were hitting it off tonight.”

  “We did.”

  “There’s no pressure here, Madeleine. All I’m asking for is get-to-know-you talk over food. Tonight was noisy.”

  She opened and shut her mouth. There was pressure.

  He rested his hand on his thigh. “Dating scares you. I get it. Join the club. I’ve been home almost two years and have been up to my ears with the business. But it’s been more an excuse. I mean...I’ve dated some. Casually. It’s complicated.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  Conversation steered off into a different direction with Jess explaining how he came to own a business at such a young age. “Dad had a heart attack six months after I came home. It left me no choice but to jump into the tool and die business feet first and see if I could swim. Besides, I didn’t see a lot of options ahead of me. One hand on a computer keyboard is frustrating. Most everything I saw as a career path involved computers.”

  “Did you design the company website?”

  “No.” He slanted a curious look her way. “You were checking us out?”

  “I wanted to see if there was anything about Operation Christmas. There wasn’t.”

  “Ah. I try not to mix my personal life with business.”

  “Wish my boss saw things that way.”

  “Meaning?”

  “I don’t think he’s very happy most of the time. He seems to be taking it out on the office staff. I’ve heard rumor he might be having troubles in his marriage. He’s only been married a year so it’s surprising.”

  “Well, that would bum a guy out.”

  She put her hand on the car door handle. “It’s getting late. I should go. Good night, Jess. Thank you for inviting me. I really did have a good time.”

  “Me, too.”

  She saw him glance at her lips. “Take care.”

  Not wanting Jess to walk her to the door and have one of her parents answer, or worse yet, Grams, she hurried from the car only to find he could exit the car equally fast. He took secure hold of her arm. “In those heels I don’t want you falling on my guard.”

  “Thanks. It is slippery.” Light snow fell as they headed up the walk. “Good night. Thanks for asking me.”

  “Thanks for going. I enjoyed being with you. Good night.”

  Alone with her thoughts as she got ready for bed, she realized the short exchange with Jess proved revealing. Both she and Jess were two years down the road from personal tragedy, yet he seemed more inclined to get on with his life while she preferred to deny herself happiness. His strength and bravery she didn’t doubt. Her readiness to move on she did.

  Although Jess definitely filled her with the flutter of sexual awareness, Derek’s offer to “service her” had pretty much ended any thoughts of sex with someone new. Okay, so Derek was a bad comparison and Jess didn’t even come close or deserve to be in the same category as Derek. But unfortunately, she knew her once active sex drive had gotten up and left for some unknown port of depression.

  Good grief, maybe she did need a support group.

  Chapter Five

  Monday morning work held little appeal as Jess sat at his desk with Madeleine on his mind. Instead, he dissected and ruminated over every detail of their Saturday night date like a lovesick teenager denied a second date. Was he attentive enough? Should he have said “the hell with it” and let her see what dancing felt like with a fake hand holding hers? And since when did Jess Grant not kiss on the first date? His phone rang. “Jess here.”

  “Hey. I’ve called to pull in a favor.”

  Jess smiled at the sound of Tamara’s voice. “It’s yours.”

  “I didn’t even ask yet.”

  “Whatever it is, it’s yours.”

  “Uh-huh. Great. I accept.”

  “Uh. Accept what?” he said with a playful, wary tone.

  “The job. You mentioned Saturday night your receptionist was leaving. Would you consider me for the position?”

  “I thought the receptionist gig in the dental office bored you senseless. Now you want to be unhappy at my place and make me miserable too?”

  She laughed. “You’re twenty minutes from home. This place is forty-five. You have loud banging machines, not little drills whirling a hole in my head eight hours a day. Errrrr.” She made an irritating sound in his ear. “And what you’re willing to pay is more than I’m earning here.”

  This constituted a no-brainer for Jess. He and Tamara had clicked when they first met at the support group. The job might be beyond her abilities but that didn’t matter. Amputees knew better than anyone the emotional difficulties each faced. Her spunk and ability to go on like all the pieces were still in place had taught him a lot. He also knew the job was a jumping stone until Tamara could find something that challenged her. He could see new strength build in her on a regular basis. “Nancy leaves the end of year. That gives you two weeks to give notice then come here to spend a little time together.”

  “Boy. You just lit up my universe. How about Maddie? She light up yours?”

  “She’s not ready to date.”

  “Uh-huh. Since when you let not ready stop you?”

  “I don’t want to push. She’s special.”

  “Ah. Special. As in long-term relationship special?”

  “Yah. Long term. So stay out of it. See you December twenty-seventh?”

  “Can’t wait. And, thanks. I appreciate cutting my drive time in half.”

  “Just don’t think you’re going to run my love life.”

  “Who? Me? Never.” She hung up with
a laugh.

  Jess knew better. She would interfere. In fact, she was interfering by throwing down the gauntlet with a challenge. He did kiss on the first date and intended to get a second chance. He pushed back from his desk and grabbed his coat as he headed out to Nancy’s desk. “Stop accepting interviews. I’ve hired. We’ll need to send letters to those I’ve already seen.”

  Nancy leaned back in her chair with a furrowed brow. “Please don’t tell me the ditsy redhead.”

  “What? She was smokin’ hot.” Jess grinned openly then raised his hand at Nancy’s protest. “I hired Tamara Johnson.”

  “We didn’t interview any Tamaras.”

  “You’re right. I did. I’ll be back in twenty minutes.”

  With that, he headed for the warehouse. His truck was parked out back. As he drove to Madeleine’s office, which turned out to be five streets north of his own business, he wondered how Tamara knew the right buttons to move him off his butt. Since when you let not ready stop you? Once the “old Jess” knew what he wanted and set his sights on the prize, he hung on like an aggressive dog with a meat bone.

  With persistence, he could woo Madeleine into seeing him as a good guy. Then she wouldn’t notice his missing arm. It amazed him how having the right woman in his crosshairs put aside his insecurities. At least, for the moment, while a good dose of brazen insanity kept them beneath the surface. Where’s the risk, he asked himself. Rejection he couldn’t overcome? Somehow, he knew this risk worth taking a chance.

  Computers That Run sat in a row of nice brick-faced offices in a slightly classier area than his tool and die shop. He entered the front door and wiped his feet on the floor mat. An empty receptionist desk faced him. The area was corded off from the rest of the office with cheap fabric panels so he couldn’t see beyond where he stood. The place smelled brand new.

  Where was everyone? He would never stand for this at his place. About to call out a “hello” he checked himself. What was he doing here in the first place? Tamara’s challenge had propelled him into action. Foolish action. He turned to leave.

  “Jess?” He swiveled around to see Madeleine’s beautiful brown eyes wide and full of surprise. “What are you doing here?”

  “Uh, I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d see if you’d like to get some lunch.” Her glance at a wall clock made him realized the day had barely begun. “Uh, I mean later. At lunchtime. Say noon? Or any time you can get away.” Yep. He should have turned tail the moment the instinct to leave swift kicked him in the rear. Her pink face and lowered eyes only made matters worse. She set a stack of papers on what he thought might be her desk. She picked up a ringing phone. Maybe she did reception and accounting? He felt as confused as she looked as she transferred the call. Her body language screamed what part of “she’s not ready to date” didn’t he understand? Oh, he got the message loud and clear. He just didn’t have the common sense to accept it.

  She hung up the phone and gave him a hard, emotionless stare. “Can’t. Sorry. I’m behind on the end-of-month reports and plan to eat at my desk.”

  Madeleine’s discomfort made him go the opposite direction. Cool, calm and collected. “Maybe another time.”

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Her head snapped toward the cracked door and the male voice calling her name in a harsh tone. “I’ve got to go. That’s my boss.”

  Jess set his jaw. He saw her spine straighten. If that’s how the idiot talked to his wife, no wonder there was trouble in paradise. He had never spoken to any woman for any reason in that manner. He envisioned a drill sergeant he’d not particularly liked whose image still managed to get under his skin.

  “Thanks for stopping by,” she said and made a quick exit behind the partition.

  This. Was. Not. Over.

  Jess became more determined than ever to minimally get a cup of coffee with Madeleine. See what lurked behind the partition with the guy who had BOSS engraved on his nameplate. Besides, too much of a connection flowed between them Saturday night to believe he turned her off. Down but not out, something twisted in his heart. He understood what type of battle she fought. She couldn’t let go of the past to live the future. And now Jess couldn’t let go of the future he saw with Madeleine and to hell with the past.

  Three stints in Afghanistan gave him an appreciation for life most men of twenty-eight didn’t possess. He would not blow this opportunity to bring meaning into his life.

  Back in his office, he removed the prosthetic arm and tossed it on a file cabinet in hopes the pressure would relieve phantom pain in the limb missing from below the elbow. Today his invisible fingers tingled. He gave a vigorous rub to his upper arm wasted and smaller than his right bicep. Part of him wanted to attribute her rejection to his missing arm. Nah, even he couldn’t buy that sorry old excuse he used to torture himself. Her fear of loving another man besides Danny seemed the real issue. How did you overcome someone’s love for another?

  Luckily, he saw something Madeleine didn’t see, or want to see. She showed signs of being ready to move on. She slipped in and out of wanting a future with the ease of a ballet dancer. His job would be to nudge her in the right direction—his direction. Before some other guy got bitten with wanting her and beat him out. It felt right.

  The only doubt lurking deep in the recesses of his mind came from that bad date several months ago. Still, Madeleine’s rejection of him came from a different place—one not driven by fear of appearances or selfish needs. He hoped. Who knew the mind of a woman? Which he admitted played to his advantage. After all, he could keep deluding himself he had a chance with male ignorance.

  Madeleine was the one. Deep down, she knew it too or she wouldn’t be running scared. His gut instinct said so. That same gut feeling that saved many a life with an unpredictable enemy in the desert. Until that instinct ran out of luck one fateful patrol.

  ****

  Madeleine did a slow burn on the drive home from work. Tired and hungry she found herself zoning and had to jam the brake to the floor for a stop sign. Thank goodness the roads were dry and no one saw her poor driving. Again. She drove on cursing her boss.

  Kurt might have a business degree hanging on his wall and another degree in computer technology, but what he really needed was a course in managing people. If his new bride was the problem then he needed to resolve the issue and quit taking it out on everyone. His mood swings and rants made her PMS days nonexistent. Couldn’t he see smart folks were jumping ship? Although she was tempted to do the same she stayed for the false sense of security the job gave her at a time when her emotional state struggled.

  Her heart pounded in her chest and made her breath come in short bursts. Things were getting harder not easier. She pulled into the garage and swallowed a whimper, refusing to cry. Oh Lord, she might be falling apart. Being indecisive and wishy-washy about everything wasn’t her style, yet she seemed too insecure to do anything about the things controlling her. She entered the family kitchen and found Grams. “Where’s Mom and Dad?”

  “Movies. Didn’t bother to ask me.”

  “Why didn’t you tell them you wanted to go?”

  Grams huffed. “Who wants to go outside? It’s freezing.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “The problem is they didn’t ask.”

  “Maybe it was because they know you hate traipsing around in the cold.”

  “Just because I complain about it doesn’t mean I want to be left out. How’s my Mini behaving?”

  “It doesn’t like the cold either. Sometimes I have trouble getting it to start.”

  “Do you pump the gas pedal first?”

  “Yes.”

  Grams walked to the stove and twisted the knob. The gas burner came to life under a pot of stew. Madeleine soaked in the kitchen’s country ambiance. Roosters and palest of yellow walls began to ward off the bad thoughts and injustices at Computers That Run.

  Grams puttered around the kitchen, obviously in thought about her Mini and comment
ed, “The thing never did like the cold.”

  “Like you, Grams.” She let one of Tamara’s suggested broad grins crease her cheeks grateful Grams had diverted her meltdown.

  “You have a good time on your date the other night with that Jess something?”

  “Grant. Jess Grant.”

  “Name’s familiar.”

  “He went to my high school.”

  “He know Danny?”

  “Knew of him, but didn’t know him.”

  “Of course not. You wouldn’t let anyone near the poor boy. Hoggin’ him to yourself.”

  “Good thing given our time together was short.”

  Grams clammed up giving Madeleine a chance to eat dinner. She hoped the food would help rid her of a relentless headache. Fat chance. The momentary short silence ended with loud clanging and banging of dishes. Grams unloading the dishwasher sounded like she threw the dishes into place. The noise stopped. “Can you take me Christmas shopping tomorrow night?”

  Madeleine pierced a carrot laden with rich gravy Grams called her specialty. Um, the stew tasted so good. She swallowed. “I thought you had all your shopping done.”

  “I do.”

  “Then why do you want to go?”

  “Bunko. The girls want to do a gift exchange.”

  “Sure. My boss is away tomorrow. Thank God,” she mumbled under her breath. “I’ll be home on time.” The kitchen clock read seven-thirty by the time she had gotten home and sat at the table.

  That evening Grams worked on a cross-stitch project and Madeleine did her best not to fall asleep in the recliner. The TV blared. She peeked at Grams from the corner of her eye. “Why not give one of your cross-stitch projects for the gift exchange?”

  “Can’t. Gave one last year.” Grams picked up the TV remote and flipped through channels, stopping at a bloody sword and club battle set in medieval times with scantily clothed warriors. “If men looked like that back then, it’s no wonder the population exploded.”

  Madeleine thought of Tiffany and her impending surprise pregnancy. Her husband fathered two kids in rapid succession without muscles or a massive chest. Danny would have too, if he’d come back to her. Danny definitely wasn’t the warrior hero type, yet he’d died protecting freedom. Then there was Jess. He definitely looked the part.