Ruin (The Rhodes Book 1)

by Rina Kent

  . . . . .

  I throw my weight on the mattress. My keys fall somewhere, my bag somewhere else. Early morning light slips through the curtains. Grey shadows cast in the room. I should eat. Shower. Act more like a human, but all my body wants is sleep.

  The hectic shifts are helpful. Not only do they offer a distraction but they also make me prioritise my body’s needs before my mind’s.

  My eyelids flutter closed. And there she is. Mae. No matter how worn out or half-dead I am, Mae visits me every time before slumber drifts me away. As if she made a deal with it.

  Her radiating smile burns behind my lids. Her lips are wine on my tongue. Her body a soft texture in my palms. Her playful voice music to my ears. Her citrus scent ravishes my nostrils.

  She owned all my senses. All. If I could argue with one, the others would knock me down.

  Most my effort in the past year is because of her. I wanted – no I still want – to be worthy of her. But deep down, I know it’s impossible. I’d never be completely cured. It’s something I have to live with for the rest of my life. I would never subjugate Mae to bear this with me.

  She deserves better.

  So I hoped to forget her. How foolish to wish for the impossible. Neither my body nor this thing beating inside my chest could let her slip away. Mae touched them with bare hands. Squeezed them out. Emptied them of blood. Then put them back together again.

  Fighting the urge to go back to her is even harder than battling with the voices or ignoring bloodlust. And that says something. I’m too weak to fight both, but I’m strong enough to leave her life in peace. I sigh.

  This unselfishness thing is tiring. I want my selfishness back.

  The door to my apartment clicks open. I jolt up and pull the knife from under my pillow. The Pit’s bastards won’t leave me the fuck alone. It’s been three months since the last one. I thought Tristan and Dylan already took care of them.

  Faint rays of light beam through the balcony. I hide behind the sliding doors, only taking small inhales and exhales. Loud clicks of shoes echo in the hallway before they enter my bedroom. Whatever idiot they sent this time doesn’t care about keeping himself unnoticed. I clutch the knife between my thumb and forefinger. There isn’t that rush to see blood, it’s merely a focused aim for precision. Kill a bastard. Get it over with.

  The intruder clicks the switch. White light engulfs the room. What the...?

  “I know you’re hiding behind the door. Come out.”

  Tristan.

  When did he come to Australia?

  I release an exasperated sigh and emerge from my hideout to slump back on bed. Tristan is in his business suit. Was he working this late? Workaholic freak.

  Well, it’s not that I’m any different.

  He sits beside me, smirking. “You’re losing your touch, little brother. Go back to training.”

  “I’ve been awake for forty-three hours, put yourself in that situation and let’s see where that gets you, old man.” I stretch my limbs. Every joint aches to sleep. “What are you doing here? You said you would give me as long as I wanted. Are the guards following me everywhere in secret not enough?”

  “I agreed to your experimental treatment option.” He studies my face with razor-sharp eyes before they soften. “The least you can do is to accept the guards. I won’t leave you alone.”

  “Instead of the guards, how about taking care of The Pit?” I crack the burning muscles in my neck. “They’re becoming a pain.”

  “That’s one of the reasons why I’m here.” He smiles, triumph shining in his dark eyes. “Dylan found an informant. We figured out the identity of one of Hades' partners who plotted our kidnapping. Victor Black.” I frown and Tristan’s grin widens. “He’s the same Black who was supposedly Father’s friend and also a former member of the Noble Community. He was kicked out of the community by Uncle Arthur for being a weakling. Since Hades' partners are being revealed, many assassins are defecting — including Team Zero. Black has gone into hiding like a rat, but I have a lead that will guide us to him soon.”

  I yawn. “Well, at least they won’t interrupt my sleep anymore.”

  Tristan chuckles. When it subsides, his serious expression takes over. “When are you returning? We own a medical company and a hospital in case you have forgotten. You can continue your therapy there if the family business doesn’t interest you anymore.”

  My lids flutter close. “Maybe.”

  Silence. For a moment, sleep whisks me to the other side. Somewhere where only dreams of Mae exist. But Tristan’s monotone voice had to ruin it. “How long do you plan to keep on running?”

  My eyes shoot open. “Huh?”

  “You’re well aware of what I’m talking about.” He tilts his head to the side and leans back on his arms. “You’re only fooling yourself if you think you’re protecting her this way. We both know you’re better now. Face her. Talk to her. You owe her that.”

  Sharp needles constrict my throat, but I shout. “Shut the fuck up, Tristan. Why do you think you know everything, huh?”

  “I don’t.” He arches an eyebrow. “But I know she didn’t stop visiting me every week in the past six months.”

  I sit up, sleep evaporating, leaving me wide awake. “Mae returned to the estate?” Why would she? Didn’t she cut her wrist to leave it?

  He nods. “Asks about you every time and begs me to let her contact you. No matter how much I tell her you’re not coming back, she keeps knocking on our door, fishing for any information. Her eyes get sadder and lifeless the more I see her.” Tristan gives a sly smile, linking his hands behind his head. “Poor girl.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” I grit out.

  “I didn’t think you were ready.” He straightens, voice deep, like Uncle Alexander’s when no one should mess with him. “But now, you are. Or would you rather see her with another man? Erasing you out from her existence? If that’s the case, then your wish might soon come true. She has a lot of male friends who I’m sure would love to have her.”

  My jaw ticks at thoughts of Mae with another man. I did picture that option when I let her go but now that the fucker Tristan put it that way, it does hurt. More than a bullet wound, more than days of training in cold water. I clutch my chest as if I could remove the pressure. It’s like I’m having the signs of a heart attack.

  “You are a Rhodes.” Tristan points a finger at my chest, his voice stern. “Put up a fucking fight for what you want.”

  Tristan’s words strike me like arrows. Prick. He knew exactly what to say.

  I’m not unselfish. I’m an arrogant bastard. Why did I think I can change that is beyond me. I must’ve hit myself on the head.

  My cousin stands. “I’m getting married. You better make it.”

  “What?” My mouth hangs open. Tristan? Married? “Since when did you have such plans?”

  His lips curve in a cunning, sadistic smile. “Since it’s interesting.”

  I smile back. I almost feel sorry for whoever Tristan will marry. Nothing good comes out from whatever Tristan finds interesting. When he thought Grandmother’s garden was interesting, he plucked all the roses, cut them to pieces and threw them into the pond. That’s his idea of interesting.

  Tristan walks to the door. “Let me know when you plan on returning.”

  I jump to my feet. “Now.”

  Screw sacrifices. I’m selfish.

  I want Mae and I’ll have Mae.

  Chapter Thirty One

  Mae

  “You look marvellous, honey.” Mum’s approving gaze sweeps over my indigo dress before she presses a light kiss to my cheek. “I
’m glad you decided to do this.”

  I link my fingers together. My gaze wanders to the exhibition hall, searching people’s expressions. They linger on my paintings, talking, discussing, seeming to murmur things about me.

  What if they don’t like my first exhibition? It took everything to showcase this part of myself to the world.

  “Relax.” Dad massages my shoulders. “Everyone looks satisfied.”

  I give a slight smile, most likely unconvincing. “I wouldn’t be so sure, Dad.”

  My parents are more convinced about my success than I am. Dad invited many of his business associates. He keeps introducing me to them as a future genius artist. If I’m getting any sales today, then it’s definitely because of Dad’s enthusiasm.

  After a long chat with Dad’s circle, I find a pause to examine one of my paintings. The 111 tattoo stares back at me, surrounded by a halo of smoky crayon. I never thought to unlock my art studio and exhibit myself— or more like Aaron. I was careful enough to shadow any identifying marks such as facial features, but all the canvases are a little part of Aaron. He’s the theme of my first exhibition.

  Before I met Aaron, any personal exhibition was a dream. I was a coward to even attempt it. Now, it’s a glaring reality.

  The gallery’s owner was delighted with the theme, but I took a long time to decide. It’s a lot more frightening than my previous dark art. This is something I’ve been keeping to myself for an entire year.

  My secret is now exposed to the entire world.

  “You did it!” Sydney squeals and pulls me into a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you!”

  “I wouldn’t dare be here without your constant nagging and encouragements. Thanks, Syd.” I offer her the brightest smile I can manage. She and Owen were there for me even when I shut them out. “Where’s Owen?”

  She points at him, conversing with Mum and a few of my professors. Owen winks when his gaze meets mine. The chaos in my heart weans a little when I’m around my friends. I feel saner. Less dead. I only told them snippets of what happened, saying I met someone in my captivity who gave me a different reason to fight— a truth in some way. Despite some bewilderment at first, they accepted me the way I am. Even thinking me strong to have found safety and sharpened my muse in the darkest of places.

  It’s their soothing words that got me where I am. It’s my friends and my parents who keep me from succumbing to depression. But even they can’t dry the tears that wet my pillow every night. Even they can’t refill the void in my chest.

  My thoughts are interrupted by Professor Turell. He introduces me to some of his old colleagues. I greet them and discuss the techniques I used.

  “It seems you had a model for inspiration, Miss Wilson,” one of them says, “Is he perhaps present?”

  “She wouldn’t tell us who it is.” Professor Turell laughs. “She feels the need to protect her muse.”

  I smile awkwardly. How am I to explain that?

  Mum calls me out. I excuse myself, thankful for the distraction. I pick at the buffet with her.

  “Do you still have doubts?” She studies me.

  I nibble at an hors-d’oeuvre. “A little.”

  She sighs and puts a warm palm on my shoulder. “I know this exhibition is too personal for you, honey, but you’re doing very well. I assure you.”

  A genuine smile escapes my lips. I open my mouth to thank Mum when the hairs on the back of my neck stand like sharp knives.

  My pulse skyrockets.

  It’s... it’s like being stalked all over again. Only this time, my feet don’t itch to run. My eyes don’t stray sideways searching my surrounding. There’s only excitement. No fear whatsoever.

  I inhale deep, barely able to hold my tears. He’s here. I know Aaron is here somewhere. I can’t mistake this feeling.

  “Lily, Mae.” Dad’s voice reaches me as soon as I whirl towards him. Beside him is another man. My attention falls on the signet ring before taking in the refined tuxedo. The material hugs his body in a mixture of elegance and power. Black inky eyes stare me down, a gleam in their pools. The masked intensity in his gaze almost buckles my knees.

  Aaron.

  Oh God. Is he really here? This isn’t another one of my dreams, is it? He looks so real. Different, but still the same.

  “Let me introduce you,” Dad continues. “This is Aaron Rhodes. The son of my colleague.” He motions to Mum. “You met my wife Lily before.” Dad signals to me. “My beloved daughter, Mae.”

  I stare at him, unblinking. There couldn’t be more than one Aaron Rhodes. Right? Definitely not with that face. Absolutely not.

  “Oh, the kind gentleman.” Mum smiles wide. “It’s good to see you again.”

  Kind? Gentleman? Aaron?!

  I almost pinch myself to make sure this isn’t a dream. I’m quite sure my mouth is hanging open.

  Aaron reaches for Mum’s hand and plants a light kiss on the back. “It’s an honour to meet you again, Mrs Wilson.”

  What am I missing? Why does he know my parents?

  “This must be the artist?” Aaron takes my hand in his and sharp tingles invade my spine. When he plants a kiss atop it, his lips linger longer than needed. My knees shake, incapable of holding my weight any longer. When my eyes almost flood with tears, he finally releases me. “It’s nice to meet you, Miss Wilson.”

  I nod, unable to form words. I’ll make a fool out of myself if I speak.

  “Call her Mae.” Mum gives a light chuckle. “There’s no need for such formalities between youngsters.” She gives me a canny look. The ‘hey-he’s-a-potential-boyfriend’ look, and hooks her arm with Dad’s. “If you shall excuse us, we need to greet William’s colleagues.”

  As soon as my parents stroll away, my heart rate seems to double. Then it triples with the effort to keep myself calm. I stare into Aaron’s eyes. Their dark depths absorb me, undoing the little locks I’ve been trying to protect myself with. He’s far enough to not invade my personal space but his mere presence is slowly, but surely, melting me.

  Instead of drowning in his presence and never coming back, I pull him by the sleeve to a staff room, and close the door behind us.

  The florescent light of the room makes him more imposing and... real. Not a painting. Not a dream. Not a hallucination.

  He’s real.

  I inhale deep, my voice calm. “What are you doing here?” Why not before? Why did you make me wait all this time?

  His lips curve in a half-smile as he cocks his head to the door. “Apparently you’re exhibiting me. I don’t remember giving you permission.”

  “Well, you weren’t around to ask!” I shout, sniffing back the tears. Then, almost like a dying storm, all anger exits my system replaced by the biting loneliness and heartache I experienced ever since he left me. My lips tremble. “Why is it so easy for you to erase me? Why can’t I do the same?”

  A shroud of vulnerability and sadness cloaks his face. “Leaving you took everything in me, Mae. Everything.”

  I release a shaky breath. The bottled up emotions rush to the back of my throat. “Then why did you leave me? If it burns you as much as it does me, how could you bear to separate from me? I’m ready to accept you the way you are. I’m ready to fight your demons with you. I’m— “

  Aaron cuts me off with his chest against mine. His arms encircle my back, caging me in a strong hold. I wrap my arms around his waist, inhaling his enticing cedar scent. My internal chaos weans almost instantly. When he speaks, his voice is deep and thick. “I am sorry. I had to fight on my own first. I had to make sure I would not hurt the one person I can’t live without.”

  My feet tingl
e. I begrudgingly push back to stare into his eyes. The grey flecks soften. They consider me with a mixture of adoration and... pain?

  “You can’t live without me?”

  “Technically I can.” He smiles down on me, but sadness tugs down the corners of his lips. “But it’s only a shell. One I don’t want.”

  I bury my face in his chest and take another dose of his bewitching scent. “I love you, Aaron. I never stopped loving you. I forgave everything except you leaving me.”

  “Does that mean I need to grovel?” Aaron asks in a playful tone.

  “Uh-huh.” I nod into his chest, stifling a smile. “The first step is taking me back to the estate.”

  Aaron pulls away from me and offers me a heart-stopping grin. “You do know what that means, right?”

  “I don’t.” I smile. “But I’m ready to find out.”

  Fin

  About the Author

  Rina Kent has always been obsessed with storytelling and flawed, yet gripping characters. She makes it her mission to give such characters all types of trouble before granting them happy endings. Her writing tends to be edgy with touches of darkness and sprinkles of angst. Outside of writing, Rina manages a hectic schedule divided between studying and living with the most supportive fiancé and a not-very-supportive cat.

  Afterwards

  Thank you for reading Ruin!

  If you liked this, please leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads.

  Ruin is the first novel of The Rhodes’ series which contains five full-length novels about The Rhodes family. Following this is Tristan’s story. If you’d like a preview, subscribe to my newsletter…

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  Acknowledgements

  First and foremost, I want to thank my parents. Unfortunately, you created a monster that can never be contained. Fortunately, this monster will always see you as their light.