by K R Bicknell
I woke up the next morning sudden and disoriented. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have to scramble into another room to turn off my alarm. My phone was right next to my bed on the side table. I leaned over to turn it off and flopped back on the fluffy pillow. I loved the light flowery scent of the sheets. This was one thing I planned on stealing from the rich, the smells. This whole house smelled clean and fresh, none of the stale food smells that stayed no matter how hard my mother and I had cleaned. Oh shit! Cleaning. That’s what I had to do today, help my mother clean. But would she be up this early, after she’d been with her lover? Only one way to find out. I rushed to the restroom and after brushing my teeth, I stepped out of my room. It didn’t take me long to find the staircase to the kitchen, it was right across from Caleb’s room. I glanced once at the closed door before running down the carpeted stairs.
The kitchen was empty with bright morning light shining on the table. Adele was washing dishes in the sink.
“Good morning!” she said enthusiastically.
“Good morning,” I answered back.
“Breakfast?” she asked.
“Um, coffee?” I asked timidly.
“Yes, of course, medium roast or dark?” she asked walking to a fancy chrome machine on the counter.
“Uh, just regular, did my mother come down yet?” I asked, unsure of what to do.
“She and Harry left about half an hour ago, I think they were talking about cleaning your apartment?” She said as she went into a cupboard and pulled out a carton of cream, no it was a fridge disguised as a cupboard.
“They left already? Shit, I was too late.” I said, still standing.
“Pull up a stool and sit, and don’t worry, Harry’ll probably call the service, they do a thorough job.”
The service, to clean, of course, Harry probably wouldn’t know where to start. I sat on a stool at the island and let her serve me.
After I’d taken a few life-giving sips of the hot, smooth drink, I allowed myself to plan.
“Adele do you know where I’d catch the bus? I need to get to Southside.” I asked, she stopped cleaning and looked at me, “Near the high-school.” I continued. “I have to get to work.”
“Travis will take you,” she said.
“No, I don’t want a driver, chauffeur, I don’t want.” I started saying but she interrupted me by putting her warm chubby hand on my pale thin one.
“Listen, honey, to take the bus, you’re gonna have to walk half a mile to get to the gate and out of this development and then another mile down not to mention the wait at the bus stop in the cold, that bus only comes once an hour, and then goes all over town before...”
“I don’t mind,” I say.
“It’ll take you more than an hour to get there.” she said, “Listen, take the help, this man has more money than he knows what to do with, and Travis he’s getting paid to just sit around, and if you still feel bad about it, you have a brain, figure out a way to pay him back.”
I sighed and closed my eyes. “He’s sleeping with my mom.” I finally said.
“He’s in love with her,” she said.
I opened my eyes and looked at her, “I don’t believe in that.” I said.
She smiled and slid something out of the oven.
“You know what that means?” she said as she sliced a heavenly smelling quiche into thick slices, “It just means you haven’t met the right boy yet.”
I smiled. “What about the boys then? Are they still asleep?” I asked.
She served me a slice on a small plate as she answered. “Caleb left early as he does, and Jacob, well he didn’t come home till after sunrise so he’s sleeping off whatever.”
“You love them?” I said surprised.
“Why wouldn’t I?” She asked, “I’ve known them since...” she blinked and didn’t finish the sentence.
I took a bite of the quiche, it was warm and delicious, even better than Enrico’s.
“They are good kids, with big hearts, it’s just not easy to raise yourself when the adults aren’t around,” she said.
I nodded, I knew what she meant, even though my mother loved me, for a long time I’d felt like I was the adult raising her.
“Where does Caleb go in the morning?” I asked.
“First, his run, which is before dawn, but after that, work.”
“He works?”
“Only on the weekends but yes, he builds houses, you know, for the poor. It first started as volunteering, but he was so good, they gave him a paid job, not that he takes the money, he organizes the contractors and volunteers.”
I stopped eating and stared. I had had no clue, just believing the rumors around school that they were rich and spoiled.
“Does Jacob work too?” I asked.
“No, sometimes Caleb drags him with, to volunteer, but no, that boy, well he’s still a lost child.”
Jacob was my age, but I suppose the rich could afford to still act like children at seventeen. I nodded.
After a filling breakfast, I went back to my room. After I opened the curtains to let in the light, I arranged the rest of my things around the room. By eleven I was showered and ready for my shift. When I went downstairs to the kitchen, Adele wasn’t to be seen but Jacob was on a stool at the island eating.
“Hey!” he said squinting at me. His eyes were hooded, his light brown hair sticking up at all angles and he was shirtless.
“Hi, where’s Adele?” I asked.
“Around.” he waved his hand, “What do you need?” he asked in a raw, throaty voice.
“I needed a ride and she said to ask Travis,” I told him.
He scowled at his empty plate, “I would take you, but I’m not allowed to go there anymore.” he said with a bitter turn of voice.
“Where do I find Travis?” I asked, ignoring his last comment.
He gestured towards the wall next to the counter. There was a metal plate with buttons, one of them said garage. I pressed it. Nothing happened. Then he was behind me, crowding me with one hand on the wall on one side while the other one pressed the same button I had. His face came close to my ear.
“Travis!” he shouted jarring me and causing my body to bump into his behind me.
He chuckled leaning closer and inhaling close to my ear.
“Yes, Sir!” a voice called from the intercom.
“Travis, little sis needs a ride,” he said throatily, still too close to me.
“All right,” Travis said, Jacob moved back then, and I breathed again.
“There you go,” he said softly, and I ran. Away from the kitchen down the hall that had been dark last night and didn’t stop till I reached the garage.
One of the SUVs was on, with the garage door behind it open. I jumped in. Travis, a big burly man with a closely cropped black hair turned to me.
“Where to?” he asked.
I gave him the address and leaned back with a sigh, my heart still racing.
My shift at work seemed much more peaceful and freer of nerve-wracking events compared to yesterday. Finally finishing up at eight o’clock I sat down to eat with a plate Enrico had fixed for me. After a few minutes, Wanda joined me with a plate of her own.
“You okay?” She asked, “Seem more stressed than usual today.”
“You know how you told me to let you know if my life circumstances changed?” I asked, she nodded with a full mouth, “Well, my life circumstances have changed. My mom and I have moved to Cherry Hill to live with her rich boyfriend.”
“Oh, honey!” She groaned; she knew how I felt about my mother’s relationship with Harry.
“It’s weird and awkward and... I don’t know what I’m doing there. I mean I get my mom wants to be there; she wants to live with her boyfriend. I get it, she should be allowed to do that, but I don’t know where I fit.”
She nodded, and then asked, “What about the boys, you said he had sons, they treat you okay?”
“No.” I answered and then when she frowned I
explained, “I mean sometimes they’re nice and others, I don’t know if it’s them or it’s just me, I’m so afraid of men, I feel that I’m defective in some way.”
“Well, you have a reason to feel that way.” She said sympathizing.
“I know, but I ...if I could just relax, sometimes I feel I’m starting to relax and then one of them will do something, it’s like they’re playing with me, like I’m a toy.”
“They’re bullies, that’s what they are. Speaking of bullies have you seen Percy lately?” She said, trying to hide her interest.
“No.” I said smiling, “Why do you have a message for him?”
“No,” she huffed, “Of course not!”
“If he wasn’t closed on Sundays, I’d go see him today.” I had been missing my prizefighter friend.
Wanda gave me a ride home, so I didn’t have to call Travis like he’s asked me to do. I had to give my name and Harry’s at the gate and Wanda had to show her ID. I felt like I was living in a whole new world now and wasn’t sure if I liked it.
“You’ve got a day off tomorrow, so I’ll see you Tuesday.” She said as she stopped in front of the black gate at the end of their driveway.
“Don’t know why you’re giving me a day off.” I said buttoning up my coat and grabbing my bag from the floor of her sedan, “Since I don’t work on Christmas.”
“It’s to relax, enjoy, catch up on your sleep, maybe get some Christmas shopping done.”
“All right, fine, but I’m not going to enjoy it!” I declare.
She laughed and drove away.
Travis let me into the gate through a small entrance on the side and another door took me inside to the long hallway that led to the stairs. I went directly to my room and took off my lumpy coat and shoes. Just as I was about to remove my shirt there was a sound at my door and Jacob walked in.
“You’re back.” He announced.
“Yeah,” I said, pulling my shirt down.
“How’d you get home?” He asked walking in and leaning against my desk.
“My boss gave me a ride,” I answered.
He nodded once.
“You have Travis’s number?” He asked.
“Yeah, he gave it to me,” I said, crossing my arms across my chest, wondering when he’d leave.
But he stayed, leaning against the desk.
“So, what’re you doing now?” He asked.
“Nothing, sleep,” I said.
“Sleep? How old are you?”
I frown.
“No, seriously?” He comes up and grabbing my v neck tee at the collar, tugs. I lean back as my heart races, “How old are you?”
“Seventeen.” I manage to say.
He grins. His beautiful smile shining down on me.
“Yeah.” He says and lets go, I move back immediately, “Seventeen-year-olds don’t need sleep, it’s a scientific fact.”
“I ...” I wanted to disagree but just at that moment, Caleb appeared at my doorway.
He leaned oh-so-casually on the door frame and just watched us for a minute. I, stupidly, couldn’t look away.
“What’re you guys up to?” He finally asked.
Jacob put his hands in the back pockets of his jeans and looked at the floor.
“Brother, I got the new Call of Duty, wanna give it a shot?” Caleb asked as if he was unsure of the answer.
Jacob looked up with a scowl, “What do you mean, give it a shot? You mean whip your butt?”
“You wish,” Caleb said.
Jacob pursued his lips and then looking at me says, “Only if she comes, and sits between us, my ribs are still bruised from before.” He lifted up the hem of his t-shirt a couple of inches and I caught a glimpse of bruising.
“You hit him?” I asked Caleb, shocked.
Caleb scowled, “He deserved it.” And then after inhaling deeply and pushing away from the door frame, “she can come.”
Jacob grabbed my arm and pulled, and I followed.
They walked down my hallway to the end and double doors opened into a large room with a huge widescreen tv and soft-looking brown leather couch and recliners. Caleb sat on the couch and picked up a remote. Jacob pushed me down next to him and sat on my other side.
I wasn’t afraid of all men, I trusted Enrico and Percy, my friend. But it had taken me months. Now sitting between the two most attractive men I’d known I tried to relax and just enjoy what many other girls my age were comfortable with. The boys settled in and played aggressively, shouting, and cursing. I leaned back and tried to avoid flying elbows and flinging arms as they occasionally grabbed or swatted each other. Slowly, by degrees, I relaxed and found myself smiling and enjoying.
“Hungry!” Jacob threw down his controller and shouted.
“Why do you do that, announce it?” I asked.
“He thinks if he says it loud enough the house-elves will hear and bring him food,” Caleb said with a chuckle.
“I’ve fired all the house-elves, Little Sister will bring me munchies!” He grabbed me with an arm around my neck and buzzed my ear. I tried to squirm away half-heartedly.
“I would if I knew where to find your snacks,” I say.
“I’ll help her,” Caleb said, his voice was cold, and he was scowling. It was like his mood suddenly did a one-eighty flip. I pulled myself away from Jacob’s grasp.
“Coming with?” Caleb was standing and looking directly at me.
I found myself agreeing and standing up. He walked out and I followed like a pathetic puppy, waiting to be petted.
“Fine!” Jacob groaned from behind us, “I see how it is.”
Caleb walked and I followed, down the stairs and through the dark kitchen and into the deep dark pantry. He didn’t turn on the lights but walked to the back. I stopped unsure in the black abyss listening to him fumble with cupboard doors.
“Is there a light?” I asked.
“Yeah, but we don’t need it.” He said. I heard a rustling of bags of chips, “You scared?” His voice was directly in front of me and I saw the glint of his golden eyes. I stopped breathing, don’t even ask what my heart was doing. Then he was close, very close, his bright eyes shining right in front of me, the spicy smell of his cologne all around me. I wished to close my eyes and just breathe him in, but instead found the strength to whisper “No.”
“Good.” He said not moving back, “You know I won’t hurt you, right?” his deep voice vibrated through me.
“You might try, but you won’t be able to,” I say bravely.
“Yeah?” He asked.
“I’m stronger than I look,” I respond.
I felt his arm brush my shoulder and reach behind me. He flipped a switch and I was blinded. For a moment I squeezed my eyes shut and will my heart to calm down. When I open my eyes, he’s staring at me with a strange expression.
“Good.” he rasps in a throaty voice as he shoves a large bag of popcorn at me and leaves the pantry. I fumble with the bag and follow.
In the upstairs TV room, Caleb throws a bag of gummy candies on Jacob’s lap.
“That’s for you,” he said and taking the bag of popcorn from me opened it and set it on the couch next to him.
“Hannah and I will share this.”
I sat down between them again.
“Why can’t I have popcorn?” Jacob gave Caleb a look I couldn’t decipher.
“Because I’m older and bigger,” Caleb said looking pointedly at him.
It seemed like they were having a silent conversation in a language I didn’t know.
“You guys act like babies,” I said.
“She doesn’t get it,” Jacob said under his breath. Caleb picked up the controller and ignored us both.
Suddenly feeling likeI didn’t belong, I stood up and said, “I’m going to bed.”
“Goodnight!” Jacob shouted.
Caleb ignored me.
I heard Jacob mumble behind my back as I walked down the hall.
“Shut up,” Caleb said in his unmistaka
ble growl.
“What, you gonna beat me up again?” was the last thing I heard Jacob say before I closed my door.
As I burrowed in that amazingly comfortable bed, I thought of my new place. Slowly, by small degrees, I was feeling like I was part of this, this house, this family, regardless of how unfamiliar it was. Surprisingly, it was making me more comfortable with myself. Not only that, but I was also relieved to realize that I could have feelings like a normal girl, feelings of attraction for a boy. For an incredibly good looking, if puzzling boy. Now if I could just as they say, gird my loins, or keep my body from reacting so strongly to his nearness, maybe someday I could have a normal relationship. With a normal boy, not the bully under my roof. I fell asleep dreaming of men in camo, shooting unsuspecting teenage girls with large assault rifles.
I woke up groggy and disoriented again and had to lay in bed for a few more minutes as my brain woke up. At least I didn’t have work or school today. By the time I finally got downstairs it was eight. My mother and Harry were at the kitchen table talking and laughing. For a second I stood still watching my beautiful mother shine in the morning sunlight, and understood what they meant by glowing with happiness. God, I hoped he didn’t break her heart!
“Good morning!” Adele said quietly as she handed me a cup of coffee. I inhaled deeply before taking my first sip.
“Hey Hannah, good morning!” Harry called out.
“Good morning,” I replied and then turned around and froze.
Caleb had just entered the kitchen behind me. This man who already could take my breath away in his usual hoodies or tees over dark jeans, was nothing less than a god cleaned up. He was dressed in a light blue button-down shirt and khakis with his brown hair combed back. The sharp angles of his cheekbones and jawline and the smooth planes of his face made my fingers ache with longing to touch him. Instead, I found myself stepping back. Adele handed him a travel mug and a brown bag, and I struggled with my body to look away and failed. Harry called out a greeting from behind me, but Caleb just said a soft thank you to Adele and left ignoring the other three humans in the room.