The Westlake Boys

by K R Bicknell

  In the family room, Harry and Mom handed me their gifts. I had gotten a watch for mom but wanted to give it to her in private, afraid that Harry’s gift would outshine it. It would have, he gave her a new iPhone. But, my mom, instead of gushing over it, just pulled him close and kissed his cheek. I couldn’t look away from the look on his face. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in love in any form. I loved my mother, more than anything. But, this, the way he looked at her, was something else.

  “He really is pussy-whipped,” I say to the shadow that I can feel standing behind me.

  He laughs and comes to sit beside me on the sofa. Jacob joins us soon.

  I open Harry’s gift to me. He’s given me a Fitbit. I say thank you even though I know it won’t suit my form of exercise. After I open Mom’s gift to me, a new backpack for school, she hands the boys her’s.

  “Now I know you probably have hundreds and may not even like the style, but I wanted to do something nice, so just fake your smiles and then you can give them away if you wish.” She says still in her tough teacher voice and I relax, glad I don’t have to be on my guard they’ll hurt her feelings.

  They open the sweaters and I see them both frown down at their laps.

  “Hannah chose that color for you, Caleb.” She says and I try not to look at him.

  “It’s nice,” he says unenthusiastically.

  “Yeah.” Jacob intones, “Can we go now?”

  “Sure.” My mom says as Harry exhales and starts picking up the wrappers.

  Caleb is still sitting next to me. “We’re thinking of going up to the cabin for the week.” He says to Harry.

  “Okay,” Harry agrees, “Just be careful and no drugs, got it?”

  Caleb nods and leaves.

  Jacob

  I’m not sorry I laid into her mom.

  I mean I’m sorry I made her feel bad and I say it.

  Well, Brother made me, but still, I mean I like Hannah, so okay.

  but it’s a fact that her mother’s trying to be my mom and there’s no way....I have a mom.

  I haven’t seen her in forever but maybe, I’ll ask Brother to call that PI.

  Caleb

  Jacob fucked up.

  So what else is new? I get it, we haven’t had a real Christmas since Mom was here. I don’t tell him but I remember. I remember the warm mornings under the tree, all of us in matching pajamas. Our mom loved taking photos and there are loads of albums.

  I hid them from Jacob, it’s no use, just makes him feel left out because he was too young to remember.

  I also get Hannah sticking up for her mother, I mean she’s like me in that.

  She’s a fucking virgin.

  I mean, I figured she was inexperienced, but... instead of turning me off, it had the opposite affect. I was hard as a rock. Luckily, Brother and I found a party, and I found an empty bedroom with a very willing, stacked, college girl.

  Hannah

  I hide out in my room for the rest of the day. I hate the fact that because of Adele I have hardly anything to do in this place. Finally, bored as hell, I wander downstairs and Harry shows me his library. It’s a large room next to his office, furnished in a dark wood, just like the movies. The books in there span all genres including novels of historical fiction and romance.

  “You can take any to your room or sit here.” Harry says, “There’s a remote for the fireplace.”

  I smile at him and he leaves. Then I pull out a Michener I haven’t read and curl up into a large armchair and turn on the fire.

  The next week is quiet and comfortably busy. I work the whole week and Adele and Travis return. My mom and I get accustomed to eating dinner alone with Harry. This life is starting to feel familiar and I even make time to visit with Mandy, but I can’t stop thinking of the boys.

  The night before New Year’s Eve when Travis brings me home, I notice their Escalade in the garage. There is a force to my heartbeat as I climb up the stairs and I hate myself for it.

  But I don’t see them, not until we are almost done with dinner.

  “Nice to see you guys,” Harry says as they both stumble into the kitchen.

  “Mmm, hmm,” Jacob mumbles and plops down next to me.

  Caleb goes around the table to sit next to my mom so he’s facing us and gives me a look I can’t decipher. My mom asks if they want anything heated up for them, but they ignore her, just serving themselves.

  Finally, Caleb speaks, “Hey Dad, we’re thinking of holding a party for tomorrow night, is that okay?”

  “Well, Abby and I were planning on having a few friends over too. I guess as long as you kids stay on this side of the house or the basement, we should be able to stay out of your hair.” Harry said.

  “Can we drink?” Jacob asked.

  Both my mom and I stare at Harry, “Only beer, I’ll provide the alcohol, and Travis will take everyone’s keys at the front door.”

  “Can we fuck?” Jacob asks. I don’t look up this time.

  Harry sighs. “You may have girls over, but bedrooms are off-limits.”

  “Fine!” Jacob huffs, “I don’t need a bedroom.”

  “I’ll provide the condoms.” My mom says and I wonder what we are turning into.

  “Can Hannah join us?” Jacob asks.

  “Only if she wants to.” Harry looks at me pointedly.

  “Pretty sure I’m not interested,” I say and leave the table.

  Later, I finish my book and head downstairs to return it and grab a new one. Caleb is walking down the hall and on seeing me stretches his arms to the walls to block my way.

  “Fine. I’ll take the other stairway.” I turn around.

  “Stop.” He says, and like a weakling, I do.

  “Why are you upset? Don’t like the idea of Jacob getting laid?” He asks from behind my back as he steps closer.

  “I don’t like what my mom is becoming, this is not us,” I say, my breath rushing through my lungs.

  “You don’t like to think of your mom understanding the need for sex? Pretty sure she’s enjoying it herself.”

  “Don’t!” I yell and turn around, my hand lands on his chest and I move back in a rush.

  “Why are you so scared of sex?” He asks.

  I blink and look down still stepping backward.

  “What did your dad do?” His voice is low again and I feel its vibrations through me.

  “Nothing.” I say hurriedly, “It wasn’t him.” I’m shocked I said it out loud and look up at his face. It is dark and angry in that dimly lit hallway and I can’t do anything but turn and run. Since I’m past my door I run towards the lounge and down those stairs into the pool room. My heart is racing, and I hope to God he’s following. He is and corners me as I try to run around the pool to the outside sliding doors.

  “Hannah.” He growls as he crowds me into the corner.

  “Don’t,” I say my hands up to keep him away. He’s breathing heavily and curses under his breath but doesn’t come closer.

  For a minute or two, we just stand there, both of us trying to calm our breaths. Finally, he steps back and reaches out a hand and when I don’t move back, he grabs my sleeve and pulls. I follow him and when he sits down on a lounge chair, I sit down on the one next to him.

  He leans over his knees, his hands hanging down between, and I steal glances from under my eyelashes afraid to look at him fully.

  “Talk.” He finally growls.

  “It’s not what you think,” I say.

  He looks up but doesn’t speak.

  I look down and twist the hem of my long tee between my fingers.

  “I... there was a guy,” I start softly, “and we, he liked me. I..” my speech is halting but I feel this urge to get it out and I’m afraid if I don’t it’ll stay locked in forever, “I liked him. I was stupid. I thought he really liked me but...we went on a date, two actually and I let him kiss me. This was freshman year. I didn’t know Mandy yet; I had no friends. He...we...on our third date, he took me to his house. His p
arents weren’t home and ...I think he thought we’d, you know,...he pushed me on his bed.” I looked up and pushed my hair back, I needed something more to continue. There was a look in his eyes that I’d never seen in anyone, never in a guy. It was like he was in pain, a quiet radiating pain and I wanted to run away and burrow in it at the same time. But it was too late to run away so I told him the rest looking into his volcanic eyes.

  “He..um pushed me and ripped my shirt and...my bra off. I yelled stop and fought him but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to then. So, I screamed and used my nails on his face, but he grabbed my hands.” I paused remembering the feeling of utter helplessness and took a ragged breath. Then I took another stronger one. Caleb’s hands were holding mine now, but they were soft and loose, and I could move mine away. I didn’t.

  “He...” I pressed my lips together and looked to the side. The outside windows were dark, and we were alone.

  “Hannah.” He said his voice soft and soothing.

  “He bit..he bit me, my boob and then his dad pulled him off of me, and then, then he told me to leave.” Finally, the tears flowed, and I didn’t even try to stop them. “What felt worse was facing his dad, and, and trying to find my way home without a shirt.” I continued in between my sobs.

  Then I’m in Caleb’s lap and he’s holding me tight against him as I finish sobbing. I don’t want to be this close to him, not like this. Not when I can’t feel him or smell his scent, but he doesn’t let me pull away. We both sit silently after I stop crying, my head on his chest his hands holding me loosely, his lips on the top of my head. I just sit, not willing to move.

  I’d hated myself after this incident, hated myself more than that boy, and then I’d found Percy’s gym.

  “I’m sorry,” I say when I feel we’ve sat there long enough, and my breaths return to normal.

  “Tell me his name,” he says. His voice low and rumbly again like it gets when he’s angry. I try to squirm out of his lap, and he lets me.

  “His name, Hannah.” He says again as I stumble to stand, “Does he go to our school?”

  “It’s over,” I say not looking at him.

  “What’s over?” He says as he stands up. I step back and he grabs my arm as I almost fall into the pool.

  “It’s not over, not if you’re still afraid of men.” He says.

  I stand still, my chest feels squeezed as I try to slow down my breath, his hand is still on my arm. “Will you help me get over it?” I ask finally.

  He looks confused so I move away so he isn’t touching me and explain, “Jacob is helping. He touches me, you know, like a brother, and I’m getting used to it. But I still freak out any time he talks about being with a girl. I don’t know why. But when you...” I’m standing with my back to him now, my arms crossed because I can’t look, “but when you talk to me, I’m not scared. I’m scared of your touch for, for a different reason, not your words.”

  He is silent. Then I feel him at my back, his breath soft and hot on my neck. A whisper of touch trails down my spine. “I don’t want you to be scared of my touch.” He says.

  I feel my core clench and I close my eyes. “I don’t want that either,” I whisper afraid to break his spell.

  All too soon, he exhales and moves back. “I’ll help you but only if you tell me his name.”

  “Why?” I swing back to scowl at him.

  “Why are you protecting him?” He growls, that tortured look back on his face.

  “I’m not protecting him, I’m protecting myself,” I say before I walk away.

  I’m still shaking when I slide into my bed, my door locked, and lie awake for hours. I’m afraid, feeling raw and vulnerable. My secret is out and though I’m sure Caleb won’t tell anyone, he will know, and I’ll have to look him in the eyes again. Yet, I’m also feeling braver, stronger in a way because even after telling him my biggest secret I revealed the other smaller one. Whether he understood what I was asking for or is willing to help didn’t matter as much as the fact that I said it. I wanted him to touch me and it was okay. I wasn’t a freak.

  Caleb

  Fucking shit, Hannah? What the hell?

  No wonder she was so afraid of guys. She didn’t tell me his name but I’ll find out. I have my ways, and people, he goes to our school. Does she have to see him? Does he smirk at her?

  Fucking shit! Someone is going to die.

  I can’t get it out of my head, I can’t sleep. How can any one? She was younger, more innocent.

  Unfortunately, I know how he could, is it so different from what I want to do to her?

  I never ever forced a girl though, never pushed anyone to do something she didn’t want to.

  But I have seduced, coerced, talked them into things that maybe they weren’t ready for?

  Shit.

  Knew I was an asshole, but....

  Someone is going to die.

  Hannah

  The next day is New Year’s Eve and Wanda sends me home early. When I arrive at home there are a bunch of strangers rushing around and I don’t see anyone familiar except Adele. There are caterers with trays of food and bottles of champagne because for the adult side there will be fancy hors d’oeuvres and drinks. The decorators that had put up Christmas decorations last week are back and redoing the halls and Christmas trees with a gold and white theme. I decide it’s safer to hide in my room. I have invited Mandy and she’s been gushing nonstop with excitement after she got there, and I pulled her into my room.

  “I seriously can’t believe this! A Westlake party where we’re not uninvited guests but family. I can’t believe you actually live with them! Have you seen any of them naked? I would sneak into their bedrooms just to catch them. Do they have girls over often?”

  “No,” I say, glad to finally have a question I can answer.

  “No? But they do get laid on the regular, all the girls, I mean most the girls in the senior class have been with Caleb.”

  I give her a look, not willing to share my opinion of that remark. “You need to take a deep breath and calm down. I’m not letting you go downstairs like this.” I tell her.

  She sits on my bed and takes obvious deep breaths. There is a knock on my door and I’m afraid she’ll freak out again. It’s my mother and she looks stunning in a black sequined, floor-length gown.

  “Hey, Baby. Hi Mandy,” She smiles, I’m glad she looks happy and hope nothing spoils this party for her, “I realized you didn’t have any dresses, so I brought you one.”

  “You didn’t have to,” I say. She’s carrying a shimmery nude gown on a hanger and I think Mandy is hyperventilating.

  “It’s not to keep. It was in the house and Harry said you could borrow it for tonight.”

  “Mom, I don’t...” I protest but she interrupts me.

  “Just try it on. I want everyone to see that my daughter is no less than anyone else here.” She says.

  I go into the bathroom and change. Before I open the door, I look at myself in the mirror. It’s me, but more. The dress has spaghetti straps and dipped down low so there’s cleavage showing, I put a hand to cover my boobs and then remove it. I have to become braver, not only that, a part of me wants Caleb to see me like this. A part that hopes he can’t look away.

  I step out and Mandy gasps. “It’s gorgeous!”

  “It’s too much, Mom!” I complain.

  “No, it’s not. It’s just right.” She smiles and leaves.

  “It’s not too much, you should see the dress Jeanette Cameron was wearing, it’s bright red and shows off her boobs, like down to here.” Mandy gestures on her chest.

  “I’m showing my boobs,” I say to my over-enthusiastic friend.

  “Yes, but you don’t look skanky, you look hot. Oooh, let me make you hotter.”

  So I let her do my hair and makeup. She puts a dark red lipstick that makes my lips look like candy, darkens my eyes, and then smooths and curls my long strawberry blonde hair.

  When she’s done, I don’t look like me, but I l
et it be. I don’t want to be me tonight. I don’t want to be the scared girl who hides in the shadows, I want to be bold. I want to be seen, and it’s okay because if it ever gets to be too much I can run and hide in my room.

  We step out of the room and run into the boys. The hallway is dim, but I see them both freeze and stare.

  “What the fuck are you wearing?” Jacob finally says.

  Mandy gasps but I don’t say anything. He walks up to us slow and menacing. I find myself moving backward until my back is to the wall. Jacob looks angry. He crowds into me and then stops, and we inhale together once, and again.

  “That’s my mom’s dress.” He says.

  “I’m sorry.” I say, “I didn’t know.”

  He frowns but doesn’t say anything for a minute. I can see both Mandy and Caleb watching us from the corner of my eye.

  “Don’t get it dirty, okay?” Jacob finally says.

  I nod.

  Then he tugs a lock of my hair. “Told you you were hot.” He says and leaves.

  Caleb barely glances at me as he follows Jacob downstairs.

  “Whew!” Mandy sighs. “Is he always like that?” She asks.

  “Pretty much,” I say, and I wish I had another dress to change into, but I don’t so we follow the boys.

  Jacob

  Fucking shit, Hannah!

  What is she doing?

  I almost lose it, but I calm down, maybe because I’ve never actually seen my mom wear the dress, but I’ve seen photos.

  Hannah looks fucking hot though and I know all the guys will want her. I guess it’s a good thing Brother’s announced she’s off-limits.

  I wish she wasn’t

  Caleb

  So glad Brother said what I was thinking because I can’t speak. I freeze when I see her step out of her room.

  How is it, this girl, whom I had no clue existed before this year, is the hottest thing in this town?

  I know I’ll have to keep my eyes on the guys today. No way they’re ignoring her.

  I hope there’s enough girls here, I really need to get laid.