by K R Bicknell
Hannah
The party is pretty much like I expect it to be. The rich, popular kids stay attached to their friends, and Mandy and I flit from room to room basically ignored.
“So why did you break up with him again?” I ask Mandy as we share a recliner in the family room and I sip from my third, or was it fourth? Bottle of beer.
“He, I don’t know, he got boring, and he wasn’t into me anymore. Not like he used to be.” She says, I know she’s a little buzzed too, but I don’t know how much she’s drunk, “and I saw him looking at Bailey Stinson, you know.”
“So, he was looking, was he touching?” I ask as I upend the bottle. This beer is tasting better, the more I have.
“Forget him, I want that one next.” She says.
“Forgotten,” I say trying to peer through the group of very large and loud high-school jocks to see who she was pointing to.
“I’m out of beer,” I say as I give up and slide very unattractively out of the recliner.
“Hot? Don’t really feel very hot right now.” I’m mumbling to myself as I walk back into the kitchen. Another place that’s full of hot guys, but here I don’t get ignored.
“Who are you?” A tall, gorgeous black boy points at me.
“Me?” I ask placing a hand on my bare chest.
“Yeah, you. You’re supposed to go to our school, yet no one has heard of you and now you’re a regular at the Westlake parties? Not only that, but you’re as sexy as fuck and the order has come down from up high that no one is allowed to touch you.”
I don’t know what to say so I make my way to the tub on the island that’s full of drinks. A big, heavy arm grabs my wrist as soon as my fingers close over the neck of a cold bottle.
“I’m cutting you off,” Caleb says.
“No, I only had four. I think.” I say, trying to wrestle the bottle back.
“Hey, let her have it. She looks like she’s enjoying it.” The other hottie says.
“Listen to him.” I say, “He’s cute.” The hottie smiles back, and I think maybe...
“Fuck off, Colton,” Caleb says and then I’m over his shoulder.
“No, stop it!” I screech, I’m pretty sure I don’t look any bit of hot right now hanging upside down, but soon am distracted by the view.
“You’re a meanie! And a brute, and way too tall! Are you sure you’re done fucking Adelaide?” I ask beating his wide back with my fists, “I think she wants you back!”
He doesn’t answer and soon we are going up the stairs. “I don’t want to go to my room!” I whine. Some boys hoot and holler from the hallway.
“Stop it! Stop that right now!” I raise my head to yell at them, “They’re thinking dirty thoughts,” I say to Caleb, “will you tell them that’s not what we’re doing?” I say as he puts me down in my room. It’s way too fast and I sway but he grabs my arms and steadies me.
“Unless that is what we’re doing,” I say as he closes the door. “Not that I mind, but not after you’ve been with Her.” I pout.
He turns around and sends me a smirk before walking around me to my dresser.
“What are you doing?” I ask as he pulls out a t-shirt.
“I’m not letting you sleep in that dress, so you’re changing,” he says tossing me the shirt.
“I didn’t know it was your mother’s, sorry,” I say.
“That’s okay.” He says, and then, “Where’s your friend?”
“Hmm?”
“Your friend, Mandy?”
“In the living room?” I say unsure what he’s asking.
“Stay.” He says pointing at me and leaves.
I change and remember to hang the dress on a hanger. I caress it gently and wonder what their mom looked like.
The door opens and Mandy enters with Caleb.
“There you are!” she announces loudly.
“If I leave, can I trust you to stay?” Caleb orders from the door. I pout at him, not wanting him to leave, his dark hair is mussed, and a few buttons of his shirt are undone.
“You’re going back to her, aren’t you?” I ask.
He squints his face into a quizzical frown, “Who?” He asks, his gorgeous head resting on the door frame.
“Adelaide Thompson,” I say as Mandy flops backward onto my bed.
He looks down at me, and even though my torso is covered with a t-shirt now, I’m too aware of my bare legs.
“Come here.” He says softly and I obey.
His finger hooks onto the crew neck of my tee and tugs me close, “You think I saw anyone else tonight?”
“You had your face in her boobs,” I say.
“But she wasn’t the one I was thinking of.” He says with a crooked smirk.
I’m suddenly having trouble breathing. “Jacob said I looked hot.” I manage to say.
He doesn’t answer.
“It’s gonna be midnight soon.” Mandy says from my bed, “You two should kiss.”
I’m sober enough to catch his golden eyes darken to a shade of brandy but he moves back, and I’m left staring at a closed door.
“Pfft.” Mandy says from the bed, “That was so anticlimactic.”
We sit and chat, and as I remember, laugh a lot before she is picked up by her parents. It’s much later and I’m in a deep sleep when my bed is jostled violently.
I wake up in shock. A large body shakes me.
“Hannah, are you asleep?” Jacob whispers loudly.
“I was.” I moan.
“Shh!” He laughs as another warm body slides in from my other side.
“Shut up, Brother!” Caleb groans.
“Why are you guys in my bed?” I whisper furiously.
“Because there's people in my bed,” Jacob slides one arm over my waist and snuggles in, I can smell alcohol stronger than beer on his breath, “Molsky, shh,” he continues rambling, “and Bailey, shh!”
“Why are we shushing?” I ask him in a whisper.
“Because they told me not to tell, so shh!”
“Okay.” I say and turn to face Caleb, “and why are you here?”
“Because I’m not going to let him molest you alone,” Caleb says.
“Are you drunk too?” I remember asking. “What do you think?” He asks and turns to put his arm around me.
I just smile and snuggle into his arm.
I fall asleep easily.
We’re woken up later by Jacob groaning, “I think I have to throw up.”
“The restroom’s over there.” I hear Caleb rasp in the darkness.
Jacob stumbles to the bathroom and I turn and move into his warm spot. Even though my bed is larger than any I’ve slept in, it’s still crowded when holding two large men, and me.
Caleb’s arm comes around me as soon as I move, and he spoons me from behind. I’m really enjoying his warmth but still manage to say, “Don’t you need to help him?”
“He’s got it, he’s done it enough times.” He sounds reluctant to move and I don’t mind.
“Fuck, I’m gonna need your mom’s disgusting drink tomorrow,” Jacob says when he walks out of the bathroom and heads out the bedroom door.
“You’ll have to ask her.” I mumble, “Where are you going?”
“Back to my room, it’s too crowded here.”
“But don’t you have two people in your bed too?”
“Molsky will be passed out, I’ll just kick him off, and Bailey’s probably naked.” He says and leaves shutting the door behind him.
“He’s icky,” I say to the lumbering form behind me.
He mumbles something into my back and soon I pass out.
It’s way too bright when my eyes open. There’s also something poking my back. It takes me a moment to realize that there is a large person behind me and then I freeze before trying to squirm away.
“Stop it, stop squirming.” He rasps, his voice throaty with sleep, and I freeze again.
“Don’t be scared it’s just morning wood.” He flops back on the mattress and I can
slide over, “It happens.”
“Yeah, just like that?” I ask, still not facing him.
“Just like that.” Then he sits up with a groan and I turn to see him lean over and put his head in his hands. He is shirtless and his back is smooth and muscular. My fingers want to touch it but I don’t.
“You okay?” I ask instead.
“Yeah. You?”
“A little headachy,” I answer.
He looks over, and then down to my bare legs. Before I move, his fingers reach over to pull my shirt down to cover my panties.
“Get dressed and come down, we can all detox together.” He grumbles as he leaves.
I don’t go down till much later and don’t see Caleb or Jacob. The too-bright kitchen is full of groaning teenage bodies and Adele is there handing them bottles of water before Travis drops them home.
Caleb
Yeah, I don’t know why I ended up in her bed. That was a bad idea, but when I saw Brother heading that way, I remembered how she had looked in that t-shirt, no pants.
I know he’s too drunk to do anything, but I tell myself I’m looking out for her.
Sure.
It’s a bad idea.
That girl, Adelaide was all over me, and she was hot, but my brain, my head wanted another one.
When I put my arm around her and hold her, telling myself it’s to keep her away from him, she feels way too good.
This is why it’s a fucking mistake.
Morning wood? That’s not all that was, no, I need to fucking dunk myself into the Arctic.
I’m so screwed.
Hannah
New Year’s Day, in the afternoon, after the guests have all left and the house is back to its natural shiny clean state, we finally see our parents. Both Jacob and I are lounging on the leather sectional in the family room. Both of us sleepy in our individual corners when Harry and Mom enter.
My mother is literally shimmering in the winter sunlight. Her blond hair gleaming, her skin is glowing. Maybe it’s the expensive beauty products or it could be the benefit of having lots of sex. I feel nauseous again.
“Where’s your brother?” Harry swats Jacob’s tousled head.
“Hey, watch it!” Jacob wakes with a start, “Don’t know, off somewhere fucking his latest ho, like father like son.” He mumbles.
“Don’t talk like that.” His father says.
My mother sits down next to me.
“How did last night go?” She asks softly while father and son are still arguing.
“Okay,” I say, sitting up. For some reason, I don’t want her to know that the boys spent last night in my bed. This is my secret.
“Anyways, Abby and I have something to tell you guys,” Harry says.
Both Jacob and I are awake now and listening.
“We’re going on a small vacation. To St. Thomas. Just for a couple of days. I’m not asking. I’m telling, just wanted to make sure you’ll look after Hannah.” Harry says.
“I don’t need anyone looking after me.”
“She doesn’t need looking after.” Both Jacob and I speak simultaneously.
“Is it okay, Baby?” Mom asks me.
I reassure her. I get she worries, that’s how we’ve been, but I’m sure I’ll be okay. Something changed last night, for me mentally. I know now, even if the boys ignore me for the week, I will be okay.
“Anyways I have Adele and Travis,” I reassure her. She gives me a hug and kisses and they leave.
I stand up and stretch.
“You know what this means.” The boy mumbles from behind me.
“What?” I turn.
“Party time!”
“We just had...”
“No, a real party, with good stuff, real liquor, and girls. College girls.”
I groan as he reaches a hand and pulls me down to tumble next to him.
“Have you ever kissed a college girl?” He asks.
“No, hate to disappoint you, but I’m not interested in college girls,” I say.
“But you haven’t kissed one yet.”
“What’s going on, why is H kissing college girls?” The bigger boy flops down on the recliner and groans. He looks so yummy, in his worn t-shirt and lounge pants that I want to crawl all over him.
“Stop staring, I can smell your lust,” Jacob whispers in my ear. I try to push him away, but he grabs my waist and starts tickling. Pretty soon I’m screaming and wiggling on the sofa.
“Stop it.” The cold command comes from the other side. Jacob stops with a huff and I fix my clothes and stand up.
The older brother is squinting at me.
“You two do what you want, I’m gonna hang out with Adele,” I say and leave.
The next week is peaceful. I work every day, and since I have no more bills other than my cell phone, I have started a saving account at the bank. Maybe, if my mom’s relationship lasts through the end of the school year, I may just be able to save enough for a car. Harry seems nice, and stable and the boys tolerable and I let myself relax, maybe finally, my dreams had a chance of becoming real. The boys went out almost every night. I didn’t ask where, or with whom. Pretty sure they were getting laid ‘on the regular’ as Mandy said. Sometimes when they returned, late at night, they joined me in my bed. Always both together, and I let them, even if they smelled like liquor or worse, girls’ perfume. No one made a move, other than harmless snuggling and I got comfortable with the touching. That was my goal, to not be so afraid of casual touch by a guy. Though, sometimes, when Jacob wasn’t there and Caleb held me closer, my heart still raced like a horse. I wanted him, it was the truth, and I guessed that Jacob guessed it too, but whether the boy in question was actually interested, I really had no clue.
It was the third night without our parents and I had had my solitary dinner in front of the large screen tv in the family room as usual but when I walked back to the kitchen with my dishes, I heard male laughter from the basement door.
Caleb was walking up the stairs.
“You guys didn’t go out tonight?” I asked him as I rinsed my dishes.
“Nah, Jacob’s friends came over.” He said.
“What about your friends?” I asked.
“What about them?” He asked, leaning on the door jamb like he was staying.
“Do you even have any? I’ve never seen you with anyone, other than girls.” I say.
“I like girls.” He said casually, so coolly.
“I know,” I said, placing the dishes in the dishwasher and wiping the sink.
I know he’s staring at me and suddenly I’m afraid to look up.
“What are you doing now?” He asked.
“Sleeping,” I said.
He grinned and my heart stopped, again. I really have to stop looking up! Faces are dangerous.
“You are seriously not going to sleep at nine pm.” He said.
“You and your brother!” I exclaim, “FYI I worked the whole day and my feet hurt.”
“Really? Come here.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Taking you upstairs, unless you want me to carry you.”
“No. I’m fine.”
“Still scared of me?” He asked as we reached the second floor and he tugged me down the hall.
“A little,” I say honestly.
He stops and turns to me. “Never be scared of me. I’ll never do anything you don’t want.” He says softly as he crowds me into the wall, “Unless there’s another reason.”
My heart is racing, and breath comes short and fast, but I still gather the courage to ask, “No, Why?”
“Because then Babe, you’re really screwed.”
“Pfft!” I say.
He laughs and pulls again.
“God, you’re so cocky!”
“Yeah, it’s the best thing about me.”
“You wish!”
“It’s true, just ask the cheerleading team.”
I frown as I sit
down on the couch. I don’t like the cheerleaders and hate the fact that they’ve all been with him while I don’t even get crumbs.
“Why do you sleep around so much?” I ask as he sits down and turns to face me.
“Sleep?” He says as he pulls my feet up and starts taking off my socks, I try to pull away. My feet aren’t pretty and pedicured like the girls he knows, but he doesn’t let me, pulling them back so they lie between his thighs, “The only girl I sleep with is you.”
“And I should feel privileged?” I ask. He’s done pulling off the socks and digs his thumbs into the arches, making me feel things. I can’t pull away and somehow this feels more intimate than sharing a bed with him.
“Any other girl would.” He says with a smile. I don’t answer and we are silent as he keeps kneading my sore feet. Body parts elsewhere are tingling, and aching and I keep trying to pull away.
“Hey, stop it.” He says, “What are you doing?” He finally looks up from my feet.
“What are you doing?” I ask, my voice doesn’t sound like me. He stops massaging still holding my feet and stares at me. His golden eyes are probing, and I want to close mine.
“You said, you didn’t want to be scared anymore.” He says.
“Well, I am. Right now.” I admit. He lets go and I pull my feet in and tuck them to the side. They still tingle.
He turns away to face the tv and exhales.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly.
“I can’t.” he inhales deeply and continues, “You know we can’t.”
“What?” I said though I guessed what he was talking about.
“You are my dad’s…“ he continued, “My dad’s girlfriend’s daughter and my brother wants you.” He muses quietly as if he’s talking to himself.
“I don’t want him.” I want to make sure he knows.
“Regardless. You’re off-limits.”
“Well, I didn’t set those limits.”
“Hannah!” He sighs.
“Fine, you argue with your conscience, I’m going to bed.” I stand up but he grabs my hand.
“Stay,” he says, and I can’t refuse.
I sit back down.
“I don’t like your limits,” I said.
He leaned over, so close I couldn’t help but inhale his scent and my heart thudded in that way that was becoming so familiar. He reached his hand to tuck a lock of my hair behind my ear and said, “I like you. As a friend, as a...”