The Westlake Boys

by K R Bicknell

  “You’re not a charity case, Hannah.”

  “You sure about that? You act all overprotective like I’m a freak who can’t have a normal conversation with guys and yet I’m not good enough for you.”

  “There are so many things wrong with that statement.” He says with an exhale.

  “Never mind. Sorry, I said anything.”

  “No. Listen to me, you’re not a charity case. You can talk to whomever you want but I’ve seen you freaked out. I’ve seen you panic and I don’t ever want to see that look on your face again. It makes me furious when I think someone could hurt you.”

  He turns the car into a gravel parking next to a gray building.

  “C’mon.” He says, and I follow.

  “What is this place?” I ask as he keys in a code and opens the doors.

  “It’s the observatory. My dad’s a benefactor. He helped them build this so we get free access.” He leads me into a dark lobby and then through a doorway into a wide, circular room. There are dark forms in the shadows including a huge cylindrical one in the middle. He leads me to a lounge area on one side and sits on a sofa.

  “Can we see the telescope?” I ask.

  “Nah, it’s off. You’ll have to come back in the daytime for that but look.” He leans back and looks up.

  The entire ceiling is glass and we can see all the stars. I look up at the heavens with him. It is cool in the building but much warmer than outside and utterly silent. I feel as if we’re alone out in space somewhere, just the two of us.

  “See that, up there?” I say, “That’s Orion.”

  “I don’t know any of them.” He says.

  “And yet you come up here.”

  “I like the way they make me feel.” He says.

  I’m quiet for a while, “That bright one is Sirius. Orion’s dog.” I say.

  “You sure that’s a star? Seems too bright.” He says leaning his head closer to mine.

  “It’s brighter than most planets, especially in the winter.”

  He’s silent, and then he says, “Don’t ever think you aren’t good enough for me, or anyone.”

  I don’t answer.

  “You know why I don’t have relationships?” He asked.

  “Because if you get attached people have control over you.”

  “Exactly, I already have Jacob and my dad.”

  “I never asked for a relationship,” I say.

  “You already have too much control over me.” He says, “If you weren’t living in my house and I had nothing to lose, I would have fucked you.”

  “Oh, thanks, that’s such a compliment.” I sass back.

  His lips turn up into a smile as he keeps staring at the stars.

  “There’s something so fucking sexy about you, I can’t figure it out.” He says.

  I feel the heat turn up but stop myself from looking at him again.

  “So you’re saying another lifetime?” I ask. Mars is winking at me.

  “Alternate universe.” He says.

  I don’t agree, but I don’t say anything and decide I can wait. Pretty sure he’ll be worth it.

  We look at the stars for a while longer and soon he’s asleep with his head on my shoulder. I realize I love the smell of his shampoo, probably just as much as he loves mine. His phone buzzes and I see it’s a text from Jacob. I nudge him awake and we go back to the bar. The parents haven’t called yet and I’m worried. Jacob says they’re probably having make-up sex and grosses me out.

  The boys distract me soon with a game of pool. Jacob is good, better than Caleb and I show my moves. I’m not great but can pull my own. Some men wearing too much leather come to join in and Jacob hustles them.

  “Return the money,” Caleb tells him as Jacob laughingly pockets the two hundred he’s won.

  “It’s okay, keep it kid. But give me a rematch next week, and we’ll see how good you really are.” The large man said.

  “Sure!” Jacob says before Caleb can stop him.

  We pull him out before he puts himself in any more danger.

  “Did the parents call?” Jacob asks from the backseat once we’re in the car and moving.

  “Yeah, dad just texted,” Caleb said.

  “They done fuckin’? He asks.

  “Sheesh!” I say.

  “Where’d you two go? You still a virgin, Hannah?” He asks leaning forward, close to my ear.

  “Yes!” I say, “By the way I’ve decided I’m not giving it to him.” I whisper loudly.

  I see Caleb jerk in shock and am pleased even though he doesn’t say anything.

  “Shit!” Jacob says falling back, “Me, me! I call dibs!” He says afterward.

  “You can’t call dibs, it’s not pizza!” Caleb says and we laugh. It’s so stupid and weird and us.

  We enter a quiet and dark house. The parents are obviously in their room but I want to see my mom so Caleb comes with me to their room and knocks on the door.

  “Dad! Hannah needs to see her mom.” He calls.

  My mom opens the door and pulls me into a hug. “So sorry, Baby.” She says, “I’m sorry I made you worry but we’re okay. I’m okay.”

  I hold her tight and breathe her in. She feels fragile.

  “You okay?” She asks as she lets go and pulls back.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. The boys, they’re good at distracting me.” I tell her.

  “Caleb?” She calls and pulls him in for a hug too. He pats her back awkwardly and pulls back quickly.

  “Thank you! For taking care of my baby.”

  “Sure, whatever. Good night.” He says and leaves.

  I follow him. I don’t mind him being weird with my mom. I get it. He doesn’t want to add to the number of people he has to worry about.

  “You know what you say about not getting attached, it’s bullshit,” I say to him in front of my door.

  “What? No, it’s not.” He says as he stops to look at me.

  “Yeah, it is. You are so attached, to so many people, you’re really screwed. That heart, in there,” I push my finger at his chest, “bleeds all over the place.”

  “Don’t diagnose my heart, Dr. H.” He leans in close, “Still not getting a girlfriend.” He says.

  I don’t have a response so just give him a look before turning to open my door.

  “Wait, where are you going?” he asks.

  “To sleep?” I say.

  “Not there.” he grabs my hand and pulls me down the hallway.

  “Why not?”

  “Because then Jacob will join us, and your bed isn’t big enough for three.”

  “Tell me about it!”

  Jacob opens the door to his room just as we pass it. “Where are you guys going?”

  “Shit!” Caleb says and stops and turns around.

  “What, where are we going now?” Jacob voices my question as I am pulled around.

  “Hannah’s room.” He answers.

  “Alright! Party in Hannah’s room!” Jacob says and follows.

  I protest the idea citing that we have school tomorrow and it’s past midnight, but no one listens and they end up talking till late while I fall asleep in between them.

  Caleb

  Yeah, I took her to Sam’s. That’s all I could figure out at that time. She needed to be somewhere safe, with people who could make her smile.

  So I took her. Sam’s good people. Sam, and those guys are my closest friends. They look out for one another. The flirting, I expected that, they don’t mean anything. Pretty sure they’d tease any girl I bring, and Hannah’s cute. But then she said that thing about being a charity case. Fuck. If she knew the real reason I keep guys away.

  She thinks I don’t want her. It’s better this way. At the most she’ll be a little disappointed.

  Why the hell did I take her to the observatory though? I never take anyone there. It’s my place. I go when I want to be alone, and she knew the names of the stars. The things she knows about me, the things she says.

  I’m losing
it.

  I don’t want to be anywhere where she isn’t and it’s fucking killing me.

  The thing about our parents though, I knew they’d be okay. Harry, despite being an awful father, knows how to smooth talk, and her mother, she’s a doormat. So I don’t worry about them.

  No one can know but I’m the one who’s screwed.

  Hannah

  The thing about sleeping with someone is, not sex, that I don’t know about yet, but just the act of sleeping is that their body becomes a part of yours. Again, not a kinky sex thing, but it’s like you can feel them on your skin. Their smell becomes your smell and their skin feels like yours. When you sleep with a guy, you feel every grunt, gap in breathing, mumble, and dream. They were so much ingrained in me that when we went back to school and the three of us separated I felt bare, vulnerable, naked, so much that I automatically retreated into my shell.

  Mandy chattered around me enthusiastically, as I went around the school like a zombie.

  “C’mon, everything’s got to be different now.” She said.

  “What’s different, nothing’s different, it’s still the same old horrible, pathetic..”

  “But you live with the Westlakes now, you’re in!”

  “In what? In nothing. Everything’s the same.” And it was. The kids didn’t look at me any different except possibly the girls scowled more and the boys were bigger douches. I had to admit that I actually liked the boys now, Jacob and Caleb, Caleb a little too much, and could tolerate some of their friends, like Nick Molsky, but that didn’t really change my social status. I really detested some of the girls they hung out with, the cheerleading crowd. Anyways I hardly saw the boys at school, Jacob occasionally and he would give me a nod, but Caleb not at all. Everything Mandy hoped for didn’t happen.

  We entered the cafeteria as usual, with our bag lunches, looking for a safe empty table.

  “Do you want to sit at the basketball table?” Mandy asked.

  I glanced over at the already overfull, boisterous table and shook my head. “Nope, definitely not,” I said.

  “C’mon, I’m sure the boys will make room for you.” My ever hopeful friend said.

  I made my way to a half-empty one near the back. We sat and ate mostly undisturbed for most of the lunch hour. Sometime near the end, I heard or actually smelled, the approach of the cheerleaders.

  “Hey!” Someone called. I looked up to see the queen bitch Annabelle Morris standing at the end of the table with a couple of her lackeys.

  “What?” I said with a scowl, not expecting anything pleasant.

  “You’re Hannah, right? Hannah Johnson?”

  “What of it?” I say.

  “Just wanted to let you know that even though you’re their new charity project, Jacob and Caleb are off-limits.”

  “What?” I ask, actually confused.

  “I mean, don’t think you are getting with either of them. They are still way above your league, so don’t even try.”

  “I’m not trying, and by the way, I didn’t give you the right to tell me what to do,” I say.

  “Whatever. Don’t act like a wannabe and stay away from the basketball team,” she says.

  “FYI, I don’t want your basketball team, you can fuck them all if you want.”

  “I have.” She says glibly. “But I came to give you a warning, touch any one of them and it’ll be bad like you shouldn’t even show up at school bad.”

  “Why, do you feel threatened?” I ask.

  “I don’t! Why should I? I mean look at me and look at you!” she says.

  “No please don’t,” I say and Mandy giggles.

  “This is just a waste of time.” One of her over make-upped minions says.

  “Just thought I should let you know.” she finally says and thankfully looks like she’s thinking of leaving.

  “Thank you very much!” I say and she looks confused for a second, “By the way, no one tells me what to do.” I continue.

  “You are not, anybody!” she finally breaks, “You’re no one, okay? You’re not even the dirt under my shoes!”

  “Are you done?” I say, “Pretty sure you’ve made a scene.”

  She looks around and then pulling her shoulders up swivels on her heels and leaves.

  I breathe a sigh and want to run out of there, but I know everyone is watching so I don’t. Not even five minutes pass when someone else approaches our table. I look up apprehensively but it’s Avery. She smiles and sits next to me. A couple more of her friends sit down across from us next to Mandy.

  “Saw what happened and just wanted to let you know not everyone is like her.”

  “I know,” I say, scrunching up my trash and putting it in the brown bag. Adele had packed my lunch despite my protests and it had been much better than the PB and J I had planned.

  “Knew she would try something, she almost lost it when she found out you were living with them.”

  “It actually doesn’t take much for her to lose it.” The pretty black girl sitting across from me said.

  I smiled at her.

  “Hey, I’m Kiara, and this is Jenny,” she said, gesturing to the petite blond next to her.

  “Hi.” Mandy and I speak simultaneously.

  “So anyways, we just wanted to say that not all cheerleaders are on her side. You’re pretty cool in my book and I’m glad you’re living with the Westlakes.” Avery said.

  “That’s good to know,” Mandy says.

  “BT dubs we don’t like her.” Kiara says, “And we can’t wait till next year when she’s out of here and Avery gets to be captain.”

  “You’re gonna be captain?” I ask Avery.

  “I hope so unless you want to try out?” she asks.

  “It’s not my scene.” I say at the same time as Mandy asks, “When are the tryouts?”

  The rest of the lunch hour passes easily and for the first time since I started this school, I don’t feel like rushing out.

  The rest of the school day passes by strangely. I see a lot of students looking at me with kind and even admiring gazes, though Annabelle and her group are still shooting daggers. Fortunately, it’s easy to avoid them.

  It’s almost the end of the day when Carly, the girl with the locker next to me, who’s ignored me for the half of the year, speaks to me.

  “So I hear you’re fucking the Westlakes now,” she says as she closes her locker and looks at me.

  “I’m not,” I say, that is one reputation I don’t want.

  “So what was the queen bitch having a hissy fit about?”

  “I know them, and hung out with them a few times so she felt threatened,” I say.

  She nods, “About time someone threatened her.” she says and walks away. I feel oddly proud of myself.

  My last class is Algebra and I get a little late in leaving. I hear the door shut as I pick up my books. Molsky is inside the door leaning against it as Jacob walks towards me.

  “What do you want?” I say.

  “Are you mad?” Jacob says and comes to grab my arms.

  “Don’t touch me!” I snap.

  “Okay, okay.” He backs off, his hands in the air.

  “Little sis is mad,” Molsky says from the door.

  “I’m not your little sis,” I say.

  “Not mine.” He says.

  “Just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Jacob said, “Heard queen bitch threatened you.”

  “I took care of it,” I say.

  “Told you she would,” Molsky said.

  “Thanks for your help, by the way,” I say sarcastically.

  “Didn’t look like you needed it.” Jacob said, “Big brother told us to keep you off the radar, anyways.”

  “What does that mean, off the radar?” I asked.

  “Means the less attention we give you, the less anyone else will.”

  “Tell your brother, thanks but no thanks, I got it handled.”

  Jacob grinned, “Tell him yourself.”

  I huff, I’m ti
red and I still have a couple of hours of work before I can go home and tackle the mountain of homework I have.

  “As much as I’m enjoying this, I really have no time to sit here and chat. I have to go.” I say.

  “Fair enough, just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Jacob says.

  “Thanks,” I tell both of them and leave.

  When I exit the classroom I see one of Annabelle’s minions eyeing me but I really, really don’t care about any of them right now so I ignore it.

  I don’t see any of the boys at dinner and after dinner, I isolate myself in my room and start on my homework. We have been assigned two projects and even though they are not due for a couple of weeks, I have to plan because I don’t have time. But then I suddenly realize something and fall back on my bed. I don’t have to worry. I have, this house has wifi. Unlimited, now I don’t have to plan my library hours after work, and I’m so happy I grin. Just then, someone knocks and then opens my unlocked door. My smile has the effect of creating one on Caleb’s face and I’m glad.

  “Homework?” He asks and comes inside, closing the door behind him.

  “Yup. Though I just realized that I have, you have wifi, so I don’t have to stress about it.”

  “Good.” he says, “Come, I want to show you something.” He says and walks to my french door.

  I get up and follow.

  “He opens the yellow curtains and says, “Did you know it was snowing?”

  Fat white flakes are drifting down outside.

  “Nice,” I say.

  “Not a fan?” He asks.

  “It’s deceptive.” I say, “It looks so pretty but will freeze your fingers off.”

  His arm comes to rest on my shoulder.

  “No, it won’t.” He says with a sigh. “Not if you have good gloves.”

  “Well,” I say and don’t expand.

  “Hannah,” he says.

  “I have gloves,” I say.

  “Don’t, don’t say it, don’t think it.” I say, “I don’t want your pity. You like snow, I’ll enjoy it with you. I’m warm, I have heat and wi-fi and I’m happy.”

  “Are you?” He asks as if it’s important.

  “I am,” I say, and right then, standing at the french doors with his arm around my shoulders, I was.

  “Jacob said that Annabelle...” he tries to speak after a while but I interrupt.