by K R Bicknell
“Tell your brother to keep his mouth shut, I handled it. Your ex-lover decided that it was her duty to tell me that you and Jacob were off-limits.” I said.
“Well we are, but not because of her.” He said and I elbowed him in the gut.
“Leave.”
“Hey!”
“Just go, I have math, a hell of a lot of math to do,” I said and made my way back to my books.
He scowled and walked to the door, “Don’t lock the door. I’ll be back.”
I didn’t.
Jacob
Little Sis is a badass.
Big Brother is still spending too much time with her and I don’t like it but I don’t say anything.
Still like life too much.
Caleb
Does she have warm gloves?
It bugs me though I shouldn’t care. But she doesn’t enjoy snow because it reminds her of being cold.
That’s wrong.
I want to kill someone again. She wears this like paper-thin coat which I’m sure does nothing for the winter wind.
But she’s stubborn and she doesn’t want charity.
She says she’s happy. She’s warm and safe at the house and has wifi.
I want to keep her that way.
Chapter 5
Hannah
We settled into a strange routine. In school and during the day, it was as if I and the boys hardly knew each other, except somewhere deep in the disturbed corners of Annabelle’s head. At home, though, we went back to our comfortable familiarity, with the boys finding their way into my bedroom and my bed at odd hours of the night.
Friday night because of Mandy’s insistence and a well-meant push from Wanda, I decided to brave the game.
It’s dark and cold when Mandy and I walk over from her house and the parking lot and streets around the school are full. The crowd is much larger than I have ever seen at this school and I remember how popular our basketball team is.
When we enter the gym, the din is loud and celebratory. There is music playing in the background and excited kids and parents standing around and chatting. We spot the cheerleaders warming up in a corner and make our way to the opposite one. Once we spot the school colors of red and gold, we climb the bleachers to find an empty spot a few rows up. We sit down and look around. I’ve never been to any games, school, or otherwise and find the cheerful environment infectious. Soon it’s time and our team enters to the roar of the crowd. Each player is announced as he runs onto the court and shoots a ball into the far basket. I can’t help but notice that the Westlake boys cause more high-pitched screams than anyone else. Jacob soaks up the idolization with a cocky grin and bow after his perfect shot, but Caleb, on the other hand, is cool as an ice-cube also nailing the basket smoothly.
The game gets underway and it’s fast and close. The excitement is overwhelming and every once in a while someone starts a wave shaking the floor under us. Mandy grabs my hand in a tight grip every time the opposing team makes a basket. Caleb is good, like really good. He is easily the star player of this team, making more than fifty percent of the shots. Every time he dribbles down the court or is passed the ball the cheerleaders start up a chant of ‘Caleb, Caleb, Caleb!’ And I sit a little straighter. By the fourth quarter, it is close. Too close, the other team has a two-point lead, and every time we get the ball, it is stolen and even the peppy cheerleaders look nervous.
“I can’t take it, I can’t take it anymore!” Mandy cries after I remove her claw-like grip from my hand.
“It’s not a big deal.” I inhale as I say, “It’s just a game.”
“Shh!” She says, “Don’t say that.”
The coach has called a time out and the players are talking in a huddle while Jacob paces. He’s pursing his lips and I know he’s not happy. The coach has had him on the bench for half the time even though I can see he’s good. It’s two minutes to go and the whistle has blown and they’re back. I’m glad to see Jacob on the court. The other team races the ball down to their basket and one of their players jumps to make the shot but Jacob is there and swats the ball out of the way. Everyone cheers, Cole takes the ball down the court but is soon blocked.
He looks around, I hear Jacob calling to him but at the last second he throws to Caleb instead who misses the shot. It’s crazy, everyone is tense and Jacob looks pissed. We take the ball back from them and Colton, the guy from the party makes the shot. Now it’s tied. For a few seconds they run back and forth, the ball changing hands many times until finally, with twenty seconds on the clock Caleb gets the ball and shoots from way too far. It’s good! Everyone sighs in relief as we hear the swish of the net. The gym erupts in the loudest roar I’ve ever heard and I drop my face into my hands.
“Shit!” Mandy says from next to me, “That’s was crazy. I’m never doing that again.”
“But it was amazing!” I say, “I think I’m going to come to all the games.”
“That boy has sick moves. He’s got to go pro.” Someone behind me says. I turn to see a middle-aged man with a friend.
“Of course he has to. He could play for Duke.” His friend says.
Suddenly I’m hit with a wave of sadness. Harry should’ve been here. I’ve never heard him mention basketball to the boys. In fact, I’ve hardly seen them talk.
Before I can feel the pain running through my veins, Mandy tugs my hand and we make our way down the steps.
We land on the court and the crowds are surrounding our team. For the first time in my life, I’m not afraid of the crowds and want to see the boys. Jacob is too deep in the melee of players and cheerleaders but I see Caleb break off and head to the side. Before I can reach him the head cheerleader does.
“Hey, Caleb! Great game!” She gushes.
He smiles at her and then spots me.
“You showed!” He says to me with a grin. I can’t help grinning back. Every smile, every word pulls me in farther into that deep hole I’m afraid I’ll never escape.
“Yeah, I thought I’d see what all the fuss was about. You didn’t disappoint.” I say nonchalantly.
“Disappoint? He doesn’t disappoint!” Annabelle yelled, “He’s the best player.”
“I’m glad you were pleased.” He says to me ignoring her.
“I may have to come to the future ones to see if you can keep this streak,” I say to him. I know there are people around us, more than two hundred of them but still feel as if it’s just the two of us, alone, in the darkness of the night.
“Do.” He says, “Seems I could use a good luck charm.” And then he bites his lip. I want to tell him to stop so I can bite it instead but this is not the place for that conversation.
“I have to go.” I say remembering my surroundings, “Mandy’s taking me home.”
He scowls. “I could take you home. If you wait.” He says.
“No, you can’t!” The annoying high-pitched voice next to him says, “Aren’t you going to coach’s party?”
He turns to her. “No.” He says, “Not tonight.” And turns back to me.
“Wait for me?”
I nod and he turns and walks back towards the locker rooms. Mandy grips my hand as Queen bitch turns her glare towards me.
“I told you to stay away from him!” She says.
“And I told you not to tell me what to do.”
“If he skips the party, coach is not letting him play.” She says.
“After the way he played tonight?” My loyal friend says, “You need to get your head examined, girl!”
“Who the hell are you?” Annabelle asked Mandy.
“C’mon.” I grabbed Mandy’s hand and pulled her away. We leave the bright gym and find a dark, quiet corner of the hallway to stand and wait.
After a while my phone buzzes. It’s Caleb.
Back parking lot. He has texted.
“I hope you don’t mind dropping Mandy home?” I ask him as he unlocks the silver Beemer.
“Of course not.” He says.
“Great g
ame tonight, Caleb, you were amazing.” She gushes.
“Mandy was so nervous she says she’s not coming back,” I tell him as we slide into the front seats and Mandy slips in the back.
“I really thought I was having a heart attack in the last quarter.” She says.
“Don’t,” Caleb says.
“Don’t what?” She asks.
“Don’t have a heart attack, it’ll take attention away from us.”
She laughs.
“You really gonna come again?” He asks me.
“Yeah, it may just become my thing,” I say.
He smiles again. It’s the first time I’ve seen him this happy and I have to turn away to face the window.
“Whoo, girl!” Mandy whispers from the back.
Caleb
She came.
She fucking came to my game.
The whole town comes but I’ve never really cared who’s in the bleachers before.
She said I didn’t disappoint.
Girl, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Hannah
We drop Mandy off and then he just drives around.
“Aren’t we going home?” I ask.
“I don’t feel like it. Unless you have to.” He asks.
“No, I’m not working tomorrow, so.”
“Where do you want to go?” He asks.
“Anywhere,” I say with a smile.
“Shouldn’t trust me that much.” He says.
“I got in your car. What are you going to do to me anyway?” I ask, hoping.
“Nothing.” He says.
“I have an idea.” He finally says, “Coach is having a party.”
“No, I don’t want to,” I say.
“Just for five minutes, okay? I’ll just go say hi to coach and then take you somewhere else.”
“With food?” I ask as I realize I’m hungry.
“With food.” He promises with a smile.
Coach’s house is big. Not as big as the Westlakes’ but bigger than I expected for a public school teacher.
“He must come from money,” I say as we walk to the front door. I can hear music and laughter from inside.
“No, I don’t think so,” Caleb said as he opened the door and walked in.“He gets a huge bonus from the school board every time we win a championship.”
“He must be good,” I say looking at the foyer.
Caleb grabs my hand, “Stay close.” He says and leads me into the back of the house. I have no issues obeying him.
The back is crowded, full of students and teachers I can recognize. Both the team and cheerleaders have changed into casual clothes.
Caleb spots the coach and we’re making our way to him when someone jumps onto the dining table, knocking into the light fixture above it.
“Lookit who’s here!” Jacob shouts as he sways, “My big brother! The star of the game!”
“Shit! He’s drunk.” Someone whispers behind me.
Caleb freezes and looks up, still holding my hand.
“And look who he brought!” Jacob continues, “The one girl I can’t touch and he won’t either.”
“Jacob!” Caleb growls.
“Hey, Hannah!” Jacob says, his voice changing to become softer.
“Jacob, get down, please!” I say.
“No!” He stands taller, “This, this is the only way I’ll be bigger than him. Fucking Brother! Big brother. Why do you get to always be the star, huh?.” He swats at the light fixture and it sways menacingly, “I fucking hate basketball!” He hits it harder and I hear a bulb shatter and see glittering shards of glass rain down over the boy. The coach has climbed up behind him and grabs his arms in a lock. A couple of other teachers also grab him and pull him down and Caleb follows them to the other room, leaving me behind. I watch the lights sway casting the room into shadow and light as the crowd disperses.
“Now you know what you’re doing to them?” A friend of Annabelle is standing and frowning at me. I don’t answer her but turn to follow the boys.
In the other room, which I think is the kitchen Jacob is hugging Caleb and crying, “Sorry Brother! I’m so sorry!”
Coach is patting his back, “Just take him home, Caleb. Let him sleep it off.”
I can see Caleb’s face behind Jacob’s shoulder, his lips are pressed together and he looks pissed. The brotherly huddle turns around awkwardly and Caleb drags Jacob towards the outside door. I follow behind like a lost puppy. I weave through the crowd avoiding faces and am almost to the front door when a leg blocks my way and then I’m flying and land on a strange boy, his hands on my boobs. He grabs and squeezes before I can move.
“Oh sorry!” He says with a laugh as I move back. “No, no come back! I liked that, like a lot!” He leers as people behind me giggle.
I’m burning up and try to leave but there are too many people in my way, all of them large and male. I know I’m panicking and going to freeze soon but all I can think is that if I don’t get out of there now Caleb will leave. He has other things on his mind, he might forget I’m here. I think of Percy and breathe, my hands closing into fists. Thankfully, the door opens and the crowd parts, Caleb is scowling and grabs my arm and pulls me out. The chill winter wind hits me hard and makes me gasp but I’m so relieved to be out I gulp it in.
Caleb barely glances at me as I stand on the frozen lawn trying to get my bearings. “Get in or get another ride.” He says coldly as he gets into the car. For a second I am stunned but then survival instincts cut in and I step to the car, I can hear Jacob crying in the back and decide I’d rather sit with him than with cranky older brother.
“I’m sorry, Brother! I don’t hate basketball.” Jacob is saying as I sit and we start moving.
“Hannah, tell him, he’ll listen to you.” He tells me.
“I will.” I soothe him reaching up my hand to run through his hair. “You try and sleep now, okay?”
“You’re so pretty!” he gushes, “and you like him more too, everyone likes him more,” he mumbles as he lowers his head to my lap. He rambles on the whole way home, while I run my fingers through his hair. Caleb doesn’t say a word.
Just as we pull inside the gates he speaks up again, “Brother, I’m gonna throw up!”
Caleb stops the car in the driveway and pulling open the door, tugs him out. I gather myself and walk through the garage up to my room. I feel like breaking down and crying and would rather do that alone tonight. I close my door and collapse on my bed trying not to relive the last half hour of the night. A little later,I hear Jacob and Caleb passing by. Jacob is still rambling, though I think, about their childhood. After they pass I hit my pillow with my fist and then again. I don’t want to cry but for a minute or two I had become helpless again, I’d allowed myself to become helpless and I hate myself for that.
I am still sitting on my bed in the dark when my door flies inwards. “What happened tonight?” Caleb asks furiously. “What the fuck happened to you?” He grabs my arms and pulls me up, shaking me.
“I...I ...” I stutter in shock.
“Hannah!” He growls.
“I tripped okay? Someone tripped me and then there was this guy, and he groped me and I’m sorry! I froze.”
“Groped you?” he asks, his voice unusually loud.
“Yes, I....” I burn up with humiliation. I want to wrap my arms around me but he’s still holding them tightly.
“Who, who was it?” He asked his voice dark and threatening.
“I don’t know! Some blond douche! I don’t know Caleb. I’m sorry.”
He let’s go and runs a hand through his hair and tugs on it, “I can’t do this! I just can’t!” He says, he sounds so tortured I don’t know what to say.
“Jacob is over there losing it and you, I just can’t!”
“I’m sorry!” I cry, I don’t know what else to do. He runs out of there and a few minutes later he is at my door with Jacob.
“Here! You take care of him. I have to go.” He says and turns to leave.
“You okay?” I ask.
“No.” He shakes his head, “I love him.” He says dropping his head into his hands.
“I know Jacob, so does he,I know he loves you.” I say sitting next to him.
“No, he hates me.” He starts crying. There’s nothing else I can do except hold him. So I do. Eventually, we lay down on the bed and he falls asleep. I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth.
I am on my way downstairs for water bottles when I hear a door slam from the end of the hall.
“I’m coming. I’m on my way.” I hear Harry’s voice and then see him walking towards me, he is on the phone and hangs it up.
“Where is he?” He asks me, “Where’s Jacob?”
“In my room. He’s asleep.” I say and see Mom walking behind him.
“Okay, all right. Keep him here.” Harry says and rushes down the stairs.
“What’s going on Mom?” I ask.
“That’s what I was going to ask you.” She says, “It’s Caleb. He’s going to get him.”
“Is he okay?” I can’t control my voice and I sound loud and high pitched to my ears.
She grabs me in a hug. “He’s gonna be okay. I know he is. How’s Jacob?”
My heart is beating too loud and I can’t hear what she’s saying. I find myself collapsing on the top step. She shakes my shoulder, “Jacob?” She asks again and I hear her this time.
“Passed out on my bed. What happened to Caleb?” Now my voice is low and threatening like his.
She sits next to me. “Seems like he got into a fight today and got arrested. Harry went to bail him out.”
I feel numb. My hands and feet are frozen. No thoughts are running or even walking through my brain, but I can feel my heart beat. It is faint but I feel it and I think, if I can feel this then eventually life will return.
“He was the star player tonight.” I hear my voice whisper, “He was like a god, Mama.”
“Baby.” Is the only thing she says, but I feel her fingertips dig into my shoulder as she grips me tight. The moan is low down the dark hall but it gets me up and moving. I go into my room and take Jacob to the bathroom so he can throw up. Then I help him rinse his mouth and take him back to my bed.