The Westlake Boys

by K R Bicknell

“I’m not. Not anymore, but why are we here, Caleb? Why didn’t you take me home?”

  He doesn’t speak but turns around to face the fire.

  “Caleb?” I put down my bowl and slide to snuggle into his side.

  “You’re safe.” He says.

  “Okay.” I say, closing my eyes, “I believe you.”

  “Why?” He asks a little later.

  “Why what?” I say feeling a little sleepy.

  “Why do you believe me when I say that? I’m just a guy.”

  “I saw you.” I whisper, “I saw you hit him. I can’t say if that was the best form but he stayed down. I don’t think he’s coming after me now.”

  “He had people. He was saying something about a plan, and friends, and if they got a couple of girls, they could make them work and make money for them.” He says somberly.

  “Like...work, like hooking?” I ask my heart slowing down.

  “Probably.”

  My body feels chilled again even though I’m leaning on him, my head on his shoulder. He shifts and I move away. I can’t stop thinking about how close I came to certain disaster and I wonder if that’s what is going through his mind.

  He turns to look at me.

  “I don’t want to think about that anymore.” I tell him, looking at the fire, “You said I’m safe, right?”

  “Yeah, here.”

  “Make me forget, Caleb, let me make you forget.” I say without looking at him, I can’t take a second rejection from him.

  Caleb

  I brought her to the cabin.

  It’s all I could figure out at that minute. Just wanted to take her far away, and we’re safe here.

  Took me forever to get her to stop shaking though.

  She felt so small and weak in my arms.

  I know that she has a spine of steel though. I had to rile her up, I’ll say I did it on purpose, just so she can be angry and forget to be scared.

  But I meant it. She needs warmer clothes.

  Now she’s asking me for something else. Something my body has been crying to give her for months. But my head...

  My head should know better. Yet right now I just want to make her forget.

  God help me.

  Hannah

  “Hannah.” He says and I turn to look at him.

  “Don’t say no, I know you don’t want me, but Jacob said you could do it even if you don’t, you know.”

  He squints in question, “What did he say?”

  I can’t help but laugh. “He says that even though he didn’t want me he could, you know...” I keep giggling as he advances on me until I’m lying back on the couch and he’s looming over me, “Why?” I gasp out.

  “Why what?” he says as his hand pushed my hair off of my face, I think I lost my hair tie somewhere but right now I’m happy I did.

  “Why do you get all pissy when Jacob says stuff like that?”

  “Why?” he repeats and pauses. My heart beats once and I feel it jump into the tiny space between our bodies.

  “Because.” His eyes glow in the dark, “Because you’re mine.” his deep voice says, and then his lips are on mine. I know not to take this for granted this time, not to rush it. I think in my muddled brain as his tongue slips in and his body settles down in between my legs, even if it’s just one time. Even if it’s just tonight, I’ll let myself enjoy and not ask him for anything else. I slide my arms around his neck and open up. His hands trace my sides over and over again. I feel my body arching up, hungry for more. There is a rhythm inside my veins like the tide that matches my heartbeat. I feel the rushing of my breath, my life, the blood through my head. I feel his body meeting mine with each wave. Hard and slow, he grinds into me and I feel him. I want to let him in. I need him. He breaks and lifts up to look into my eyes.

  “Hannah.” his voice is rough and deep and I feel it deep inside.

  “Don’t say it.” I put my finger on his lips, “don’t stop.”

  His body stops moving. I take a breath.

  “Come on.” he says and stands up extending his hand down. I sit up and take it.

  He leads me up the stairs to the bedroom. It’s dark and we don’t speak. It’s colder up here.

  “Don’t turn on the light.” I say as I see his hand reaching for the wall.

  “I think I need to turn on the heat up here.” He says.

  “Come on.” I pull off my sweatshirt and sit back on the bed.

  “Come here.” I say raising up my arms, “I can warm you.” I say and he does. He fits right in between my legs and then he’s lifting them up to wrap around him and pushing us back to the head of the bed. His mouth is back on mine and I drink him in. I know his taste now, he tastes sweet and like heaven. I don’t think I can get enough of his taste, not now, not ever.

  “I really.” he says between kisses, small and sipping, “shouldn’t.

  Do. This.”

  “Don’t stop now.” I say as he stops to pull his hoodie off.

  “You deserve better.” he says as his torso is bared and my hands are automatically pulled to his skin like magnetized.

  “I know I do, but right now I don’t see any better, and I’m not sleeping alone.” I say as he helps me take off my shirt. Then the conversation ends because his lips find mine again.

  His hands press into the bare skin of my waist and I try to breathe. He finally lets go of my lips to latch onto my neck. My hands trace the smooth muscles of his back. The feel of him is like a drug, my mind is dazed and high. I stop thinking as I feel a loosening around my chest as my bra snaps open. I have a tiny moment of doubt and want to cross my arms to cover but he doesn’t let me and I’m thankful it’s dark. His mouth comes down on mine again as one of his hands cups a breast. My body instinctively arches into his hand and I let it. I stop worrying and trying to control anything. It’s no use, I think my body knows what it’s doing and I let it lead.

  I am aflame and achy again and this time, this time I’m not afraid. I need this. I need it, tonight. Not just to forget but to feel. His lips are like small licks of flame on my skin as they move down. I explode again and a moan escapes as his lips reach a breast. My body is writhing and craving again. He rises up again sliding his hands under my pants to slide them off.

  I say his name. A request, a plea.

  “Baby.” he says and kisses my lips again, his eyes dark and stormy.

  I need him now but I have to let him set the pace. A hand slides into my panties and cups me and my body jerks off the bed.

  “Look at me.” he says and I realize I’ve closed my eyes. I open them in the darkness and see the thin ring of gold in his eyes. “Let go, Baby. Just let me.” he rasps as he moves his fingers, and takes my body higher and finally I do, yelling his name and clenching his shoulders. I come down to earth in stages, my heart still racing, my chest still heaving. His warm hand cups me down there and soothes. I say his name again in a broken voice and he smiles. Then he curves his fingers and they breech my slit. I gasp again.

  “It’s going to hurt.” he says.

  “I know.” I say and nod. I think I’m ready.

  He stands up, pulls out something from his pocket, and sheds his jeans. I watch quietly.

  “You’re prepared.” I say, stating a fact.

  “I’m always prepared.” he says and falls back on the bed. Then he pulls down his boxers and sheaths himself in the condom. I watch him carefully.

  “Can I?” I ask reaching my hand tentatively. He takes it and wraps my fingers around himself. He feels different than I expected. Hard, and strong, yet soft at the same time. My heart has sped up again. I look at his face and he’s watching me, his brows tight as if in pain.

  “I don’t, I don’t think I can go slow.” he says.

  “It’s okay,” I reassure him, “You don’t have to, I want it to hurt. I want to remember this.”

  “You will.” he says as he pulls down my panties and parts my legs, “It doesn’t have to hurt to remember, Hannah.”
/>   I trace his cheek with my fingers. I am just as scared as I am excited.

  “Tell me when you’re ready.” he says. I can feel him at my entrance now and my body craves again.

  “I’ve been ready.” I say.

  “Good.” he says and plunges in with force.

  I hear myself cry out. It does hurt, more than I expected.

  He’s in and he stops.It feels tight in there, he’s large and it burns.

  “I’m sorry.” I gasp, “I didn’t know.”

  His face is creased with concern or effort and he kisses me. And again, soothing me with his mouth. My belly clenches and I feel the need again.

  “Caleb.” I say separating my mouth from his, “You have to move.”

  He frowns at me.

  “Please!”

  Then he moves. Slow and strong. It still burns but I hold on, trusting it to get better.

  “I should be sorry, but I’m not.” He says as he pants above me, “You feel so fucking...”

  “What?” I tease.

  “You’ll know what in a minute.” he promises and I smile.

  Eventually, the pain disappears and I feel it again. The sweet ache, that feeling of reaching for something glorious. Something better than anything I’ve felt before. My body moves under his, with his and I give in, my soft moans getting louder. He moves faster, his face clenched as if in pain. My body is crashing into his with each wave. I clench his shoulders with my fingers as my upper body arches up. It’s wonderful, overwhelming and so damn good when it finally hits and I’m swept away in a tidal wave. A tidal wave that causes my limbs to clench and crashes me to shore in a shower of rainbow sparks. His face is buried in my neck, his breaths fast and loud, his body heavy and replete on mine. I hold him close, my arms and legs wrapped tightly around him as our hearts beat in sync. I realize that I don’t want to let go and wonder if he’ll mind.

  “Can we just stay like this?” I ask, my voice scratchy and low.

  He laughs into my ear. I smile, still not letting go. He lifts up his head to look me in the face and I see his eyes are glowing again.

  “You don’t think I’m too heavy?” he asks.

  “No, I like it, I...”

  His hand peels my leg away caressing it softly. Then he lays down, tucks me into his side, and pulls the other leg over his hips. He is soft and smooth and I want to feel him again. I run my fingertips over his chest and abdomen tracing shapes over his skin.

  “Say something.” I say.

  “How do you feel?” he asks.

  “Good.” I say, the word seems inadequate but I’m nervous again.

  “Sore?” he asks.

  “Maybe.”

  “Sorry I wasn’t more, I should’ve been more gentle.” he says.

  “Don’t.” I say, “Don’t regret anything about tonight.”

  He pushes back my hair and looks down at my face again. “I’m glad I made you happy.” he says, “I didn’t think I could.”

  “Why?”

  “Some holes are hard to climb out of.”

  “Are you talking about my father?” I ask.

  “I’d rather not.” he says.

  “Maybe we should.” I say.

  “Or,” he turns his face to kiss me, “I could make you forget again.”

  I smile under his lips.

  “Life is ugly.” I say, “But this, you are so not.”

  He grins and his hand touches me but I flinch. He stops.

  “I hurt you.” he says seriously.

  “No. I...I have to go to the restroom.” I start to slide out of bed but then realize I’m naked. My arm comes over my boobs as I search for my underwear in the bedclothes.

  “Don’t.” he says, lying flat with his arms under his head, “If you’re cold then take a blanket but don’t get dressed.”

  “You ordering me around now?” I ask over my bare shoulder.

  “As long as I can.” he says, “Now git or I’ll grab you again.”

  Caleb

  Fuck.

  This girl.

  I know I should’ve been gentle. I should have gone slow, but I lost my mind there for a minute.

  Maybe longer.

  She said she wanted it to hurt. This is not how it’s supposed to be. Nothing should hurt.

  Then when I was in her and she felt so fucking good around me. Shit. I just wanted to die.

  I’ve been with girls. I’ve been with lots of girls. Women. All types. I don’t discriminate, they just have to be willing.

  But her.

  She took my heart, and every other piece of my body and twisted and squeezed until there was nothing left of me.

  I hope she doesn’t regret it.

  Don’t know where I’d go if she does.

  Hannah

  I scrabble off the bed quickly and wrapping a blanket around my body, go into the restroom. Luckily it’s attached, an ensuite like at home. The Westlake House, not my home. I can’t forget that. It’s temporary. Like everything. Like this, like Caleb.

  I turn on the light. The bathroom is gray and chrome, rustic but in a fancy-ass way, and it’s freezing. Maybe I should ask him to turn on the upstairs heat. I use the toilet and then wipe. There is blood. I start shaking again. This is normal, natural even, just a regular thing. Girls get their cherries popped all the time. Yet it feels huge, momentous.

  “Hannah?” he opens the door and walks in, “You okay?”

  “No.” I shake my head.

  “Shit.” he kneels down on the floor at my feet still gloriously naked, “What can I do?”

  “Nothing.” I say, “You should go back to bed, it’s fucking freezing.”

  “What about you?” he says rubbing my thighs.

  “I’m gonna be fine.” I say and run a hand through his hair falling over his forehead. He grabs the hand, kisses my palm, and then leaves.

  I clean up and follow. He is arranging the blankets and covers on top of the bed.

  “We should turn on the heat.” I say.

  “I already did. Get under the covers.”

  I do and then when he does, I pull the blanket over his chilled shoulder. We lie on our sides just looking at each other in the dark.

  “Tell me something.” I say.

  He frowns and then picks up a strand of my hair between his fingers and tugs it down over my breast.

  “You are so....so perfect.” he whispers.

  “Pretty sure I’m not.” I whisper back, “I think you’ve got a crush.”

  His fingers pull down the blanket and uncover one breast.

  “You’re right.” he says.

  “I think there’s something you can take for that.” I say as his finger softly feathers over the nipple.

  He laughs and then leans in close.

  “I think I’m gonna kiss you.”

  “Go ahead.” I whisper before he does.

  We just lie there for most of the night. Just touching softly and kissing. I explore his body, especially the important parts. Eventually things, particular things, start to harden and rise up.

  “What do I do now?” I ask him.

  “Nothing.” he laughs and turns me around to spoon me from the back.

  “Is it like morning wood?” I ask as he starts devouring my neck.

  “Nope. You caused this one.” he says as his lips move to my spine.

  “So I should do something about it.” I say, wanting to, real bad.

  “What do you smell like?” he muses as soft kisses move down my spine, “You smell like the stars, Orion and Sirius, all bright and sparkly.” he says moving down farther.

  “Caleb.” I sigh.

  “What?” he says as his hands cup my butt cheeks and squeeze.

  “Do something.” I say, warm and achy again.

  “I already did.” he says.

  I laugh, “Then do it again.”

  “I hurt you.” he says.

  “Just a little.” I say, “I liked what followed, and it won’t hurt again, right?” I t
urn around in his arms.

  “Don’t tell me you don’t want me. Pretty sure this doesn’t lie.” I say tracing my fingers over his hardness.

  He stares at me, his eyes dark and his breath going faster. “I’ve wanted you for so long. I’ve never had a hard-on for that long before.”

  I know he isn’t talking about tonight.

  “I think it was because I was forbidden.” I say.

  “You still are.” he says and kisses me. Our hands run all over each other’s bodies and I’m desperate again.

  “Caleb.” I plead when he breaks back from the kiss.

  “You’re gonna stop me if I hurt you again.” he says in a growl.

  “No.” I shake my head.

  “Baby.” he protests.

  “No, I want the pain.”

  “Fuck.” he says as his fingers find my wetness.

  “Yeah.” I gasp.

  He moves his fingers and I’m arching up, attaching my mouth to his neck, his chest wherever I can reach.

  “Shit.” he whispers and moves back.

  “Just..just stay here, don’t move, don’t stop, I’m going to be right back.”

  he moves off the bed.

  “Wait, what?” I manage to say.

  “Just,” he leans over me again, takes my hand, and puts it where his was, “touch yourself. I’ll be right back.” and then he runs out.

  I know how to make myself come but I’m sure it won’t feel half as good as he does.

  “Come back and do it yourself!” I yell as he runs out of the room fully naked.

  He takes too long and I’m getting frustrated lying there holding myself. I don’t want to do it, I want him to. Is he done with me? I hope he hasn’t gone to get his phone. No, condoms. We need more condoms. But where would he have stashed them? I start to get nervous. Then I hear a sound, a footstep from the roof. My heart stops beating. He said we were safe here but I don’t know where here is. I get up and wrap the same blanket around me and step out of the room. Everything is dark. I look down over the railing but can’t see Caleb anywhere and the fire has died out. I stand for a second, two, trying not to imagine the worst.

  “Hey,” he says from behind me and I jump with a scream. “Hey, hey!” his arms hold me tight against him as I calm down.

  “Where the hell did you go?” I shout.

  “Just upstairs.” he says.

  “There’s an upstairs?”