The Westlake Boys

by K R Bicknell

  He opens his eyes. Just joins in the staring contest without saying a word.

  “Hannah Fucking Johnson.” he finally whispers.

  “In the flesh.” I whisper back.

  “Party planner extraordinaire.”

  I shake my head.

  His hand comes up and his fingertips trail a light touch from my temple to my ear where he wraps one finger around a curl. My hair is still damp from the rain and is doing this half straight, half frizzy thing.

  “What do you want, Hannah Johnson?” He asks.

  “Nothing.” I say.

  “Everyone wants something. Especially girls.”

  “I don’t. I never did.”

  “You’re a fucking liar.”

  I close my eyes.

  “I want something.” he whispers.

  “What?”

  His fingers trail over my lower lip over and over again.

  “I want you to stop biting this lip. You do it all the fucking time. Don’t you know?”

  “What?”

  “When you bite it, it becomes red and wet, and I...” His face comes close, his lips a hairbreadth from mine.

  “What?” I repeat like a scratched record.

  “I can’t focus on math.” he moves back.

  I grin. “Math?” I ask.

  “Yup,” he smiles back, “It’s a pain.”

  I giggle and turn around on my back.

  “You are so screwed.” I tell him.

  He chuckles and then looks at me again.

  “I want something else.” he says, serious again.

  “What?” I ask.

  He puts an arm over my stomach and pulls me closer, snuggling his face into my neck. “I want you to forgive me.” he says.

  “For what, being an asshole?”

  “For trying to push you away when all I wanted was to be in you as deep as you are in me.”

  I breathe faster.

  “Hannah?” he asks into my neck.

  “Caleb?”

  “I can’t get you out.”

  “I know.”

  “What are you gonna do about it?”

  I turn my head and touch his lips with my fingers.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Are you freaked too?”

  “Like hell.”

  His lips finally bridge the gap and touch mine. In a short kiss. Short and dry and chaste. I reach in for another one.

  Then finally, finally he’s in my mouth. My whole body opens up as if it had been waiting to welcome him back home.

  My hands clench his shoulders, his hair on the back on his head. His body shifts so he lays between my legs. I’m in pain, I ache, my every cell reaches for him.

  “Hannah.” he says breaking the kiss.

  “Don’t, don’t say anything. I don’t fucking care about anything else.” I say.

  He stops and stares down at me, those golden shards glinting from the faint light in my room.

  “You’re still mine?” he asks as if confused.

  I nod.

  His lips reach my neck, I rub my palms down his cool, smooth back. Over and over again.

  “Hannah!” Harry’s voice calls from the other side of my door, “I can’t find Caleb, do you know where he went?”

  “He’s..” I grab the back of his head and hold him to me, “he’s in here. With me.” I tell his father.

  Harry sighs loud enough to be heard through the door. “Okay. Goodnight.” he says and leaves.

  I let go of Caleb.

  He lifts his head to squint at me.

  “I’m not scared.” I tell him.

  He smiles and resumes kissing me.

  “Fuck Harry.” he whispers.

  “No. No, I don’t want to.” I say.

  He laughs, his breaths warming my skin.

  “Caleb.” I say as his mouth moves down, “Caleb, you’re gonna need a condom.”

  “Why?” he mumbles, not slowing down.

  “Caleb!”

  “Why,” he moves up and holds my head between both hands, “Why Hannah fucking Johnson? Why do I need a condom?”

  “Because!”

  “Not good enough.” his hands are still moving all over me.

  “Because, because I need your dick!” I give in and say it.

  “Take it, then.”

  “No, I need it inside me.”

  He stops and stares in my eyes, “Was that what you were going to say to Rockstar Crissly?” He asks.

  “No.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes, I didn’t want his. Not really. No go and get one,” I push him off me, “Please!”

  I pictured him running down and back the hallway naked.

  “Oh, ye of little faith.” He says instead and pulls open my nightstand drawer to pull out a long string of condom packets.

  “When did you do that?” I ask, shocked.

  “I’m always prepared.” He says tearing off one and hands it to me.

  “You wanna put it on?” He asks.

  I scowl but take it.

  “So you were so sure you were going to need them in this bedroom again?” I say as I slide it on him, he is definitely more ready than I am at this moment.

  “No.” he says, turning to lean over me, “Just didn’t want you to be unprepared for Rockstar dick.”

  I cry his name as he slides into me.

  “I never wanted him.” I tell him as he focuses on his task, “Not like this.”

  He proceeds to take me fast and hard, making me forget all others. He doesn’t muffle my screams that night.

  Afterward, when he collapses on top of me, I think I hear him mumble ‘I love you’ into my shoulder. But I must’ve been hallucinating because Caleb Westlake doesn’t believe in love.

  I open my eyes and the morning light is peeking through my curtains. I make a half-hearted effort to slide out of my bed but am pulled back into a warm body.

  “Caleb!” I protest.

  “Nope, it’s Jacob.” he says.

  “I know who it is,” I say, “I know how you feel.”

  “You snuggle a lot with my brother, if it were anyone else I’d murder him.” he says into my bare shoulder.

  “You trust him that much?” I ask, unwilling to move.

  “Not him, you. I know you’re not into him, you always look at him like an annoying younger brother.”

  “He is an annoying little brother.” I say.

  “I can hear you talking about me.” A voice says from beyond the door, “Why is the door locked?”

  “Go away!” Caleb yells.

  “It’s okay if you’re naked, I’ve seen it before.” Jacob says.

  “When have you seen Hannah naked?”

  “You haven’t seen me naked!” we both speak at once.

  “Yeah, I have! In my imagination, now open up, something happened last night and I have no one to tell.”

  I stand up and rush to put on my clothes.

  “Caleb, seriously, where’d you throw my panties?” I cry.

  “You don’t need them, in fact, you should stop wearing them altogether.” he says coolly not bothering to dress.

  “Little Sis!” Jacob grabs me in a hug when I finally open the door, “You’re back! Gah, you smell like him again!” and pushes me away.

  “Why are you still naked?” he asks his brother.

  “Because I like him that way.” I say pushing him into my chair, “now talk, what happened?”

  “I don’t know, I’m fucked up.” Jacob starts.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Your friend Mandy.”

  “Yeah?”

  “She’s something else.”

  “Okay.”

  “Did you fuck her, Brother?” Caleb asks walking into the bathroom still fully naked.

  “Didn’t need to see that again.” Jacob says shaking his head, “No, I didn’t.”

  “So?” I asked Jacob.

  “So. Like we went into my room and she wasn’t like jumping
my bones like other girls, she talked, like a lot.”

  “She does that.”

  “Yeah, and I didn’t want to shut her up. I mean she talked a lot, about everything, I mean there was some smart stuff in there, and some not so smart stuff but the whole fucking thing is, I did not get sick of it. I didn’t get bored and go let’s stop talking and make out or something. Though we did make out, I mean a little bit, I am a guy and all.”

  “You’re in love!” Caleb croons as he swats his head and walks out the door in his boxers.

  “Look who’s talking!” Jacob yells, and then softer to me, “I’m not in love am I?”

  “No,” I answer, “you just like her, and that’s fine.”

  “It’s okay, right, that I didn’t get sick of her talking, that I want to see her again?”

  “It’s perfectly fine, you’re still a guy.” I say.

  “Yeah, I checked my balls in the morning, they’re still attached.” He says.

  I throw a pillow at him, grinning. “Get out, I have to shower.”

  “Yeah, get that stink off.”

  C

  I'm back.

  I'm back in her soft arms and her pussy and there's nowhere else I want to be. She's my home and heaven. I know I don't belong here but I'll take what I can get.

  I'll be going to college soon. Maybe I don't have to take Columbia. UVa is good. I'll be near, I can see her every weekend.

  I start planning my future.

  After college. I have a plan.

  I'm not going to tell her yet but it has her in it.

  I'm not letting her go again.

  H

  Sunday was as lazy as it could be. I spent most of it in bed, a lot of it with a warm, hard body. If there was a record for how many times a couple had done it in one weekend, we probably broke it. But hey, we were young, we thought we were invincible and we were in love. Though neither of us would have admitted it then.

  Mandy called. Gushed on and on about Jacob and I let her talk my ear off. Finally, she remembered to ask me,

  “How was it?”

  “Mmm?”

  “Come on! You’re the first one of us to get your cherry popped. You did do it with Caleb, didn’t you?”

  “Um, it was nice.” I said, the boy in question tracing maddening circles on my belly with his tongue.

  “Nice? It has to be better than nice! Should I do it with Jacob, I mean he’s nice, right?”

  “Sure, Jacob is nice.”

  I grab my boy’s hair and pull up his head. He gives me a frown, grabbing for my phone.

  “Mandy, I have to go, it’s my mom, she’s having some sort of crisis in the kitchen.”

  “Okay, okay, go.” she says quickly.

  Caleb throws away my phone, “A crisis in the kitchen?” he teases in that deep rumble I feel in my bones.

  “Yeah, there’s hell breaking loose downstairs.” I breathe.

  “Hmm, downstairs?” He settles between my legs and then I’m lost, for a few more hours.

  Chapter 10

  Monday morning I’m tired, achy, and very sleep deprived. After a short breakfast, Caleb is tugging me towards the garage when Harry stops him.

  “No Caleb, Hannah is riding with Travis.”

  “Why?” Caleb asks, “She’s just as safe with me.”

  “No. Travis can protect her better.”

  Caleb shakes his head with a frown and lets go of my hand.

  Everything is the same at school. Avery and Kiara come to talk to me.

  “We saw you with Lane Crissly and couldn’t believe it, I mean he’s like twenty-something! An actual man! Did you do it with him?” Kiara asks.

  “No, I didn’t.” I tell her. Avery is looking anywhere but at me. She looks guilty and then I know that she knew.

  “No.” I say not too loudly, “I was with Caleb.”

  Both their eyes open wide with shock.

  I scowl and walk away without another word. Why? Why when the boy has been with almost every girl in the senior class, why is it so shocking that he may like me? I didn’t want to hide it anymore.

  I guess he was thinking the same thing because I found him at my locker.

  “Hey!” he says with a huge grin.

  “Hi!” I can’t help but smile.

  “How was chemistry?”

  “Horrible! You know I’m his best student and I couldn’t keep my eyes open, and its all your fault.” I open my locker and exchange my chemistry book for my algebra one.

  “My fault? You didn’t have to stay awake all night. ‘Caleb, Caleb, more!’” he says mimicking my voice.

  “That wasn’t me.” I grin and shut my locker.

  “Then who was it?”

  He grabs me around the waist and pulls me up, against him.

  “What about the fact that I’ve been horny the whole morning and that’s your fault?” he says and attacks my neck with his mouth. Too many curious glances are focused on us.

  “Caleb, Caleb, No. Everyone’s watching.” I say and try to push him away.

  “Did you say no? Did you actually say no to me?” he asked, looking surprised.

  “Yes, yes I did.” I said with a smile, “and I will say it a hundred times if that’s what it takes for you to understand that I don’t do this at school.”

  He scowls but steps back.

  “Not at school?” he asks.

  “No. Please?”

  “And I’m supposed to what, last eight hours without a taste?”

  “Yes, Baby.” I touch his cheek.

  “Okay,” he sighs his face back in its familiar frown, “just one kiss.”

  I give in but it’s a long wet one.

  “That wasn’t okay.” I say when he pulls back finally.

  “You,” he points a finger at my face, “you’re the only one I do this for.” he says and leaves. I wonder what I’ve gotten myself into.

  “You’ve broken Caleb Westlake.” Mandy says to me at lunch.

  “I don’t know why it shocks everyone that he’d want to be with me.” I say.

  “It’s not that. He’s never gone to a girl’s locker, he’s never smiled or grinned at one, or kissed one who pushed him away. He’s the one girls come to and then he acts all cool and chill till he gets bored of them. He’s smiling, like actually smiling at school, even more, when he sees you. You’ve broken him.”

  “Well, good. He needed to be broken.”

  Sometimes we watch the stars. Sitting on my balcony, wrapped in one blanket, me on his lap.

  “See there’s Orion, I told you it was there, closer to the horizon.”

  “Still pointing at Sirius.” He says.

  “Orion will always point at Sirius, even when you can’t see him.”

  “And Sirius will always shine.”

  “Brightest in the sky.” I snuggle into his neck, he is warm and smells of my love.

  “Caleb.” I mumble.

  “Mmm?”

  “Tell me something.”

  “I heard from Columbia.”

  “Did you get in?” I ask, sitting up all excited for him.

  He nods seriously. “I could still go to UV.” He says.

  “But do you really want to?”

  “New York is really far.”

  “I know.”

  “I won’t be able to come home on the weekends, maybe not even at Thanksgiving.”

  “Caleb,” I bury myself into his neck again, “I won’t always be here.”

  “Why not? Harry is not letting go of your mom.”

  “I know, but I can’t stay here permanently, eventually I’ll want to leave.”

  “Where would you go?”

  “I don’t know yet.” I shrug.

  “What if I can’t find you?” He asks.

  I point at the stars, “Orion will always find Sirius.”

  He takes my lips in a kiss. Soft and tender and tears burn in the back of my eyes.

  We make love, slowly carefully. When I get overwhelmed by the look in h
is eyes, I close mine, he doesn’t ask me to look at him, as if he knows and instead grabs my neck between his teeth. I beg him for fast and hard but he doesn’t, torturing me until I’m shaking in his arms.

  “Is it because I’m convenient?” I ask another night.

  “What?”

  “Is that why you’re so into me, because I’m convenient, I’m right next door?” I ask him, remembering girls at school whispering.

  “You are so not convenient.” He says, “You fight, you yell at me, you say no, you hit, like really hard. You are the most inconvenient girl. Should I ask the same thing, am I just a convenient dick?”

  I just stare at him as he looks at me. He’s lying next to me, his head on his arm, the moonlight shining on his breathtaking body.

  “Hannah?” He asks when I don’t answer.

  “You shine so brightly, you blind me.” I say, “You burn me up and make me hurt.” I take his free hand and put it between my breasts, “in here.”

  “It’s so not convenient to hurt like that.” I say.

  He removes his hand and kisses my skin there. “Kiss and make it better?” He asks.

  “Please.” I say.

  “I didn’t get you a birthday gift.” I remember a couple of days later.

  “I got one, right here.”

  “What, my left boob?”

  “Yup.” He leans over to lick the appendage in question.

  “The right one will feel neglected.”

  “I’ll take that one for Christmas.”

  “You may not be here at Christmas.”

  “Orion will be wherever Sirius is.” He says and gives his full attention to my whole body.

  C

  She asks if she's convenient.

  If she only knew how I'm changing all my plans to include her.

  I wonder if I am though.

  I know I'm her first. I've been with so many, sown all my wild oats and all that shit, and I know I don't want anyone else.

  But her. She hasn't been with anyone else. Am I being unfair keeping her to me?

  Just the thought of her with another guy though. Someone else touching that skin, kissing those lips. I don't think I could deal.

  Maybe when I go to college I'll let her be free.

  Even if I go to Columbia I know I'll be coming home every chance to be with her.

  Should I set her free?

  No fucking way.

  H

  Saturday afternoon I’m in the kitchen waiting for the oven to beep. Caleb is at work, Jacob asleep somewhere in the house and I’ve just sent Adele for her nap. I’ve wiped the counters till they shine and everything is starting to smell sweet. Like sponge cake. Like the yummy thing I’m baking just for my self and not for a boy who tastes so much sweeter. I find myself burning up and know that I’m all red thinking of all the parts of his body I have tasted when the bell rings. I wait and when it rings again, I go and answer it.