Living it Arg

by James Argent

  I’ve obviously made lots of one-off appearances on other TV shows, but, because of my commitment to TOWIE, up until quite recently I’d never been a regular on any other reality show. All that changed when I was approached in the summer of 2013 and invited to take part in a new telly programme called Celebrity Super Spa. In case you didn’t catch it on air, it was a nutty show that involved me and several other TV personalities in running our own beauty spa in Liverpool. I didn’t know the first thing about the beauty industry, but the idea of having to wax people’s bodies and give them massages sounded like a right laugh. I’m always up for a new challenge, so I decided to give it a go.

  The show was due to be broadcast on Channel 5, but was made by ITV Studios (ITV’s production company, whom I’ve obviously worked with in the past). The series was due to be filmed while TOWIE was off air, so it was a rare occasion when I could join another reality show without coming into conflict with my commitments in Essex. It meant going to live in Liverpool for six weeks, which appealed to me because I thought it would be nice to enjoy a change of scene for a while.

  Former Coronation Street star Helen Flanagan was among the other personalities who were confirmed to take part in Celebrity Super Spa. I’d enjoyed watching Helen in the jungle on I’m a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here! and I imagined that she’d be a lot of fun to work with. The other personalities on the show were Jody Latham from Shameless, Yvette Fielding from Most Haunted and celebrity chefs Rustie Lee and John Burton-Race (who’d also previously starred on I’m a Celebrity . . .). It sounded like a good mix of people and I was looking forward to meeting everyone.

  My hunch that Helen would turn out to be a riot of fun proved to be correct and we hit it off straightaway. She seemed to me to be like a northern version of an Essex girl, which I meant as a compliment. She has a big bubbly personality and can be very mouthy at times, because she puts her emotions out there, but she is also very homely and down to earth. She’s got a ditzy-blonde side to her, although she is actually very clever and did well in her A-levels. I think because we were both a bit younger than the other people on the show we clicked immediately. Within a few days of meeting Helen I felt as if I’d known her for years and we became best mates on the show. I quickly realised that she can be a bit of a diva.

  Helen wound up all the other personalities by keeping us waiting for two hours when she arrived late for filming during the first episode. They were furious but I secretly found it quite funny. I’ve got a lot of patience and I don’t take myself too seriously, so I tend not to get wound up by diva behaviour! When the other personalities rounded on Helen for being late she got quite tearful and I became her shoulder to cry on. I told her not to worry too much and to just get on and enjoy the show.

  ‘I’m going to nickname you Diva Tits!’ I joked.

  Helen thought it was hilarious and we became good friends. We became like two naughty kids and we probably pissed off a few of the people on the set by larking around together. I was staying in Liverpool on my own, so most nights Helen would join me after filming and we’d go out drinking. The press started to hint that there was a bit of a romance between us, but it was really just a case of enjoying each other’s company. Helen had just split up with her boyfriend, the footballer Scott Sinclair, but their relationship was still very off and on and there seemed to be a chance that they might get back together. I didn’t want to get caught up in any of that, but we were both happy to spend a bit of time together. We weren’t dating – we were just workmates having fun.

  Helen loved to take the piss out of me for my weight, which I didn’t mind in the least because she always did it with good humour.

  ‘You never stop eating! You eat far too much food,’ she’d say, laughing.

  On one occasion when I arrived at the set in the morning I was still eating my breakfast, which amused Helen no end. She took a photo of herself holding up three bags of food that I’d bought from Greggs. She posted the snap on Instagram later for a laugh, with a note teasing me. I got my own back later in the series when I sent a saucy tweet about her boobs. I spotted the shape of her nipples showing through beneath her top and I took a quick photo on my phone.

  ‘Somebody’s got a NIPPLE ERECTION!!! Haha @helen-flanagan1 #Payback,’ I tweeted.

  I suppose it all sounds quite flirty but it was just a bit of harmless banter and, despite the speculation, we didn’t become an item. However, we did spend a lot of time together during the evenings and, if the circumstances had been different, who knows what might have developed between us?

  The weather was mainly nice and sunny while we were filming, and during the warm evenings Helen and I would stay outside for hours together in a little nook outside my hotel. We’d sit there with a bottle of wine and two glasses, getting tipsy while we shared anecdotes about our lives. Helen would chain-smoke while she told me about her relationship with Scott and also what it was like going into the jungle. We had a lot of deep conversations and I told her all about my past experiences of breaking up with Lydia. While we were talking, we’d play YouTube music videos by the likes of David Gray and Passenger on our mobile phones. At one point I felt as if we were starting to like each other more than as just good friends, but nothing happened between us, which was probably out of respect for Scott.

  Being in Liverpool was like a breath of fresh air, because it was nice to meet different people in new surroundings. The city reminded me of Essex in a lot of respects because all the girls were glammed up and the people there love a party. Liverpool has some fantastic Georgian buildings and the locals were always very warm and friendly towards me whenever I complimented them on their architecture. I visited the Cavern, where the Beatles started out, which was fascinating. When it was time to return to Essex, I bade Helen farewell but we swapped phone numbers and we’ve stayed in touch. We’d had a fun time of Celebrity Super Spa and the show itself was a success. It had been a summer to remember.

  I was very honoured when TOWIE asked me to fly down to Cannes to represent the show at a TV festival. While I was there, I bumped into Matt Lucas from Little Britain, and we had a good chat. I loved Cannes, and I later went back there to do some boxing training with British hopeful Tyson Fury and my pal Pat Waites.

  It was around this time that the producers of TOWIE had a surprise in store. We were being sent to Las Vegas to film a double episode that would launch the new series. I’d put on a few pounds over the summer, so I went back onto my healthy-eating regime. I wanted to look my best in Vegas, where Joey, Tom and I were all determined to have a great time. The three of us tend to stick together on TOWIE and we love doing things as a group. We got up to some crazy stuff in Vegas, such as the time Joey and I went to an outdoor centre where you can play basketball in JCB diggers. The idea was to use the giant arm to move a ‘ball’ around and plunk it into a ‘net’ made out of a giant tyre. It was hilarious fun.

  I was staying at the Palms Casino and on the first night I had an unexpected encounter with Gemma. It began when I was in my room and I received a weird phone call.

  ‘Hello, Mr Argent. It’s the front desk here. The escort girls that you booked are down in reception,’ cooed a strange voice in an American drawl, while somebody else giggled in the background.

  It didn’t take me long to realise that the phone call was actually from Gemma and Bobby Norris, who were trying to wind me up.

  ‘Yeah, very funny,’ I said. ‘Where are you?’

  They were downstairs, and I invited them up to my room. When they arrived I was struck by how nice Gemma looked. I’d had a few drinks and I was in the mood for love – and I could see a twinkle in Gemma’s eye. It had been a long time since we’d been an item, but I was still very fond of her.

  Would we get it together tonight? I wondered. I asked Bobby if he’d mind leaving us. ‘I need to talk to Gemma in private.’

  Unfortunately, Bobby got quite offended and he went off in a huff back to the room that he was sharing with Gemma.

/>   ‘That was rude. You can’t talk to him like that,’ said Gemma, who promptly went off to console Bobby, leaving me on my own.

  I felt a bit bad about being abrupt to Bobby, so I called reception and I asked to be put through to their room.

  ‘I’m coming down to see you,’ I said.

  I went and apologised to Bobby and the three of us had a drink. That night one thing led to another and Gemma ended up coming back to my room. We made love, although afterwards Gemma swore me to secrecy. I guess she had her own reasons for wanting to keep it private, but, as I have said before, nothing remains a secret on TOWIE for very long. When the new series started I let slip to the boys about what had happened between Gemma and me. She was furious and vigorously denied on air that anything had happened between us in Vegas. I didn’t think it was a big deal and I couldn’t see what all the fuss was about. After all, we’d slept together plenty of times before. I was a bit upset, however, that Gemma had made me out to be a liar. Having said that, I realise I was in the wrong to betray a confidence.

  One of the highlights of the Vegas trip was that I got to train at Floyd Mayweather’s famous boxing gym. It was an awesome place and was kitted out with every piece of equipment that you could possibly imagine. I was lucky enough to go back there in January 2014, when I trained with Floyd Mayweather Senior, Roger Mayweather and future world champ J’Leon Love. Joey Essex and I were also lucky enough to meet Mike Tyson when he called into the Palms Casino. I was in my room at the Palms when one of the producers, Jenna, called me to explain that Mike was in the house. I rang Joey and the pair of us went downstairs, but by the time we got there Mike was surrounded by a huge crowd and his security team were preventing people from meeting him.

  ‘No, guys, no pictures! No pictures!’ repeated the security men as we approached.

  ‘Don’t worry, I’m an expert at blagging my way into things like this,’ I explained to Joey. Tyson is one of my all-time favourite boxers and I wasn’t going to miss a chance like this.

  ‘Mike, listen, we’re big fans of yours and we’re from Essex,’ I called out.

  Amazingly, I’d managed to get his attention.

  ‘Essex? Essex? Is that where the gangsters come from?’ replied Mike.

  I realised that he was referring to the film Essex Boys, which is all about drugs wars. The movie had been a hit in the States and Mike had obviously seen it.

  ‘I know Essex. I once did a show in Loughton,’ continued Mike.

  We soon got chatting about life in the UK and Mike agreed to pose for a photo with Joey and me. We were chuffed to bits.

  Later that night Joey and I shared a beer and agreed that being in Vegas was like a dream come true. I couldn’t believe how far I’d come in the space of three years. We were in one of the most glamorous cities in the world and we were living it large, or should that be living it Arg . . .

  EPILOGUE

  AND FINALLY . . .

  So that’s the story of my life so far. Thanks for sticking with me. It’s been a journey that has taken me from being an ordinary boy in Essex to rubbing shoulders with the stars. I’ve been lucky enough to travel around the world and I have met many wonderful people. I like to think that, despite everything, I am still the same old Arg underneath it all. I still enjoy a good drink with my mates and I love slobbing out in front of the telly. I’ve learned that the really important things in life are your friends and family, so you should always treasure them the most.

  As for the future, I’d like to have a big family of my own one day. Ever since I was a child I’ve always been surrounded by kids. I enjoy being around children and I love taking them out, so I’d definitely like to have kids of my own. Ideally, I’d want to have at least a girl and a boy, but the bigger the family the better. I hope that one day I’ll meet a nice woman who will agree to be my wife. Who knows who that will be? But I’d like it to be somebody who will be a soulmate whom I can share my hopes and fears with. I’ve made a few mistakes along the way when it comes to relationships, but I hope that I am now a better person for it.

  I’m a true Essex boy at heart, so I think I’ll stay here for all of my life. I just can’t see myself ever leaving this part of the world. I’m pleased to say that I’ve just bought myself my first flat in the heart of Chigwell. It’s a comfy bachelor pad and I’m very proud of it. I’d like a big house of my own here one day with a nice garden for the children to play in. It would also be great to have a place on the Costa del Sol to spend some time in over the summer. I would love to have a place abroad as a home from home. I’m lucky enough to work in an industry where it’s possible to afford things like that, but, if I can do it, anybody can.

  I think that singing will always be a big part of my life and my dream is that I’ll one day be able to perform in the West End. But who knows what doors might open in the future? There’s no rush. I’m happy to stick with TOWIE and see how things go. In many ways I feel as if my life is just beginning.

  If you’re reading this and you’ve got dreams of your own, my advice is to stick with it. If you think positive then positive things will happen.

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  I’d like to thank my family and friends for all their support – my mum, my dad, my sister and my two nans; the Wrights, the Kanes, the Brights and the Brooks; The Famous Eleven; my Faces family – Tony H, Tony B and John Clark; my Marbella family – Peter and Melissa Black; Neil at Sisu; my Manchester family – the Kumanis (boohoo.com); Jim’s Kitchen; my friends at Chicken Cottage and Wood Oven, South Woodford. I’ve also got to thank Jim McDonald, my boxing tainer, and No1 Boot Camp.

  At Lime and ITV, I’d like to thank: Tony Wood; Ruth Wrigley; Sarah Dillistone; Claire Farragher; Nicky Hegarty; Shirley Jones; Phil Harris; Sean Murphy; Suzanne Readwin; Tamsin Dodgson; Daniella Berendsen; Derek McLean; Kate Maddigan; Claire Zolkwar; Angela Jaine; Genna Gibson; Federico Ruiz; Mike Spencer; Laura Woolfe; Tayo Yusuff; Danny Ellis; Peter Fincham. Special thanks to Gyles Neville for pushing me, helping me progress and getting me through the tough times; and most importantly Rachel Hardy PR!!!

  Thanks to Lewis Simmons, for my singing opportunities; my family at the Kenneth More Theatre; and, of course, to all my TOWIE cast mates past and present.

  And finally a massive thank you to Gary Thompson and my manager, Neil Dobias.

  LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

  1. Proud parents: Mum and Dad with their little bundle of fun – yes, that’s me as a baby in my dad’s arms!

  2. Festive fun: Me and my little sister Tash pose together in front of the Christmas tree. That’s a great waistcoat!

  3. Baby smile: As you can see, I was a happy toddler. I’m aged just twenty-one months here!

  4. Happy family: Mum, Dad, Tash and I pose for a family photo. Mum keeps a framed print of this picture at home.

  5. Making a splash: Look at that six pack! I’m about six here, on a trip to Brighton.

  6. Footie fans: That’s me in my Spurs shirt with Granddad Seamus, when I was aged about seven.

  7. Trinity boy: In my uniform for Trinity Catholic High School.

  8. Cheeky chappie: This is me as the Artful Dodger in Oliver! It’s one of my favourite photos from my amateur dramatics days.

  9. Toys are us: Tash and I proudly show off some of our Christmas prezzies in 1995. That’s Nanny Colette and Uncle Gerry behind us.

  10. Celebration time: Here I am on my twenty-first birthday with Lydia and Tash.

  11. Lydia’s mum Debbie and I share a drink together.

  12. Big grins: Mum with a glass of bubbly at a family party with Lydia and me.

  13. Squeeze: Here’s me giving Nanny Brighton a cuddle.

  14. Magic Granddad Tom, who would entertain us with his conjuring tricks.

  15. Dressed to the nines: Lydia and me, about to go to the wedding of Jack Tweed and Jade Goody.

  16. In love: Lydia and me, all glammed up together during a night out. Lydia looks great in those leather trousers.

  17. Happy
couple: Me giving Lydia a hug from behind, on a night out in Sugar Hut.

  18. Bikini babe: Lydia and me, enjoying a bit of sunshine in Marbella.

  19. Party fun: Lydia motorboats my moobs while Jack Tweed looks on during some fun in Marbella.

  20. Bath time: I raise a toast while relaxing in the tub, while Mark points the way ahead in his yellow pants!

  21. Hot shop: Mark, Lydia and I pose together proudly at the opening of Lydia’s shop in Loughton.

  22. Dig the jumpers: Mark and me, in our best festive pullovers.

  23. In Marbs: Joey, Sam and me, having fun over dinner in Marbella.

  24. Holiday romance: Gemma and me, enjoying a fantastic time in Turkey. I love the way the rose matches her dress!

  25. Men about tan: Joey Essex and I soak up some sunshine together on our last day during a recent trip to Las Vegas.

  26. Party pals: Me out on the town with my TOWIE mates Diags and Tom.

  27. Spa very much: Helen Flanagan and I had a great time on the set of Celebrity Super Spa.

  28. It’s Will: It was a real honour when I finally got to meet my childhood idol Will Young (after missing out when I was in my teens).

  29. Kelly nice: I got a special treat when Kelly Brook fed me carrot cake after we met at a Rihanna concert at the O2 arena.

  30. Top band: The lads from One Direction gave me a warm welcome when I met them at the ITV studios.

  31. Simply the Becks: Me and David Beckham discussed pie ’n’ mash after bumping into one another at The Sun Military Awards.