The Merger: The Ryan Family Books One-Three

by Loni Ree

  Lukas just stands there and looks at me. I think he may have some idea of what has happened. In the bathroom, we hear Aiden mutter, “Fuck, goddamn,” before he walks back out of the bathroom and sits back on the floor next to me. Lukas sits heavily on the bed and rubs his hand over his jaw. He closes his eyes briefly and asks, “Do you think Drew will be happy about the baby?”

  “I have no fucking clue. Drew said he wanted to get married and have kids when we got back together, but we have been fighting about stupid stuff lately. I don’t know what’s going to happen with us. This was all a mistake. I didn’t plan it. I was going through the mail and found out that I missed an appointment to get my birth control replaced months ago.” I silently cry as Aiden wraps me in his arms.

  “If Drew doesn’t want this baby, we will take care of you and the baby,” Lukas promises me.

  Later that night, I see pictures online of Drew dancing with a gorgeous socialite, and I throw up from the pain.

  The next day, I confront him when he returns, and my world is destroyed when he doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he doesn’t want our child. After packing my things and telling him once and for all that I will never return to him again, I leave his house.

  I’m crying so violently when I reach Lukas’ that he is ready to commit murder, but Madison forces him to calm down.

  “I have arranged for the company jet to take you to California tonight. Nikolas and Gramps George are going to take good care of you. We will make sure no one can trace your whereabouts. No one,” Lukas assures me then he hugs and comforts me until Aiden arrives.

  Aiden drives me to the airport and promises to come out the next weekend to visit. “I’m going to kick some ass if that asshole comes near you.”

  “Please leave it alone. I just want everything to go away. I wish I had never gotten involved with him. I have made such a mess of my life.” I cry on Aiden’s shoulder.

  “We will help you. Don’t worry, little sis, we got this. You and the little one will be fine,” he promises me, and I sit back and watch as he leaves the plane so we can depart.

  Nikolas and Gramps George are so wonderful. They take me to all my favorite places, and I can tell they are trying their best to keep me from thinking about my problems. After reconnecting with Bailey, we have lunch a couple of times the first week I’m in California. Since I missed my doctor’s appointment back home, I make an appointment with a doctor for the following week.

  The morning of the appointment, I’m so nervous. I hate the idea of going alone, but when I walk into the living room, I’m surprised to see Aiden is waiting for me. “You didn’t think I would let you go alone? Never.” I start bawling my eyes out and I run up and hug my big brother.

  When we get to the doctor's office, I explain the whole story of my missed appointment and the implant still in my arm that needs to be removed. They insist on another pregnancy test and say they’ll probably do an ultrasound. The doctor comes in and introduces herself and tells me she has possibly upsetting news.

  “Annie, you were never pregnant. I don’t know how the home test failed, but the implant is probably still working a small amount. We should remove it and either replace it or put you on other birth control unless you would like to become pregnant.”

  As I sit there in shock, I let the tears roll down my cheeks. I’m mourning for a child that I didn’t know I wanted until I didn’t have it.

  “Do you have someone here with you?” she asks, and I tell her my brother is in the waiting room. We decide to remove the implant, but I tell her I want to wait a while before making a decision about birth control.

  Aiden looks up when I walk out, and he can tell right away that something is seriously wrong. I shake my head to signal for him to wait until we get to the car.

  “I’m not pregnant. The home test was wrong.” I cry on his shoulder as soon as we get into the car.

  “Jesus. Annie, I’m so sorry. Everything will be okay. I promise.” He kisses the top of my head and drives me back to Nikolas’, where we explain the story again for Nikolas and Gramps George. After everything that has happened, I’m drained, and while I lie down, Nikolas promises to call Lukas and explain what has happened.

  Drew

  It’s been three fucking weeks since Annie left, and I’m fucking done. She's carrying my child, and I won’t let her avoid me any longer. As I walk into Lukas’ office without knocking, Jose takes one look at me and scurries out the door.

  “Drew, what the fuck are you doing? You need to watch yourself,” Lukas orders, but I glare at him as I march to the front of his desk.

  “Shut the fuck up and listen. I want to know where the mother of my child is, right now.” I thunder when he looks at me and raises his eyebrows in question.

  Lukas drops down into his chair, and a look passes over his face that chills me. He sighs heavily and shatters my world. “Annie isn’t pregnant.”

  I shake my head, sure I heard him wrong. “Don’t try to pull some shit. You know, in my business, I’ll have the truth in five minutes. You can’t bullshit me,” I remind him, but when I see the look of pity in his eyes, I feel my breathing escalate in fear. All I can think is that this shit isn’t happening. If she isn’t pregnant, I have no hold over her. My palms start sweating, and panic invades my body.

  “The pregnancy test was wrong. Annie never was pregnant.” His words send daggers through my heart, and I realize I may have lost everything I have ever loved. I look around his office and try to think of something, anything to say to persuade him to help me.

  “Is Annie okay?” I croak out.

  “She is moving on. This is probably the best thing that could have happened. A child pulled between two parents isn’t a good situation,” he points out, and I drop into the chair in front of his desk.

  “This isn’t the best thing. I wanted my child, and it wouldn’t have been pulled between us because I would have married Annie. I still plan to fucking marry her since I can’t imagine my life without her,” I vow, but he doesn’t look convinced.

  “How many times have you said the same thing only to start acting like an asshole as soon as Annie gives you a chance? Annie isn’t going to believe you this time.”

  I know my words will be meaningless at this point, so I get up and leave without replying.

  I have to do something to get my woman back, but now that she isn’t pregnant, my battle will be so much harder. All my past mistakes run through my mind, and I want to kick my own ass, but I decide to find a way to get her back instead. There really is no choice for me. I can’t imagine my life without her in it.

  I spend several days in a dark place, wondering how I can drag my ass out of this deep hole. I know I created the entire situation, and that makes my depression worse. I can’t ignore the loud pounding on my front door and the constant ringing of my doorbell any longer, so I storm into my foyer and throw the door open to confront whatever asshole is brave and or stupid enough to make such a racket while I’m trying to die in misery.

  “Goddamn, you look like shit,” Blake remarks, pushing me back and stepping inside before closing the front door.

  I shake my head a few times to try to clear the cobwebs and booze. “What the fuck are you doing, asshole?”

  “I ask myself the same thing all the time. Trying to help your stubborn, stupid ass,” he calls over his shoulder as he walks into the family room and throws open the curtains. I blink several times and cover my abused eyes with my hands when the blinding light hits me.

  “It smells like a fucking brewery mixed with a locker room in here. Shit, man, when was the last time you showered?”

  Rage courses through me at his question. “Get the fuck out!” I roar at the asshole. Turning, he shakes his head as he eyes me up and down.

  “No, I’m not going to let you go down this road anymore. This shit stops today. Either you pick yourself up, move the fuck on, and get back to life as the asshole I know and love, or you are going to prove you can
be the asshole who deserves Annie. No matter what, I won’t let you drink yourself to death in your stinky ass house.” He stands there with his hands on his hips, staring at me.

  I drop and sit on the bottom step and stare at the door. My life has come undone.

  “Do you think I have any fucking chance of getting her back?” I finally ask.

  “Honestly, I have no idea. But I do know you have no hope whatsoever if you continue like this. Madison and Lucy are willing to help if you really are going to treat Annie differently this time, but you have to show them you have changed. It’s going to take time. Lucy wants you to spend some time at our house with our family. You are getting another chance with part of Annie’s family. Don’t fucking blow this chance, you stubborn asshole,” he contends.

  A small amount of hope seeps into me for the first time in days.

  34

  Annie

  I’m going with Madison to visit Lucy today. She called and invited me to go with her to have lunch with Lucy and Lily, and I couldn’t come up with a plausible excuse to skip, so I’m stuck watching the happy family while I die a little inside from jealousy. Madison’s bodyguard and driver, Roger, drives us to Blake and Lucy’s house, and when we get there, I’m surprised to see Blake’s car in the driveway. Madison shrugs and says he must be home to get something.

  The uneasy feeling returns when Blake opens the door for us. He shows us into the living room where Lucy is sitting on the sofa, waiting.

  “Hi, come on in. I’m so happy to see you guys,” Lucy calls to us as she gets up and moves to hug each of us.

  After I hug her, I look around and don’t see Lily anywhere, so I ask, “Where’s the munchkin?” Then I follow Lucy and Madison over to the sofa and sit down. Blake wanders down the hall toward the bedrooms.

  “She is getting her pants changed,” Lucy answers me before she gets up and asks us what we want to drink. We both ask for ice tea, and Lucy tells us she’ll be right back with our drinks.

  I hear footsteps coming from the hall, and I turn expecting to see Blake holding Lily, so I’m shocked when, instead, I find Drew gently cradling the squirming baby up against his broad chest.

  “This girl is a fighter. She made me refasten the diaper three times before it was on right,” Drew remarks as he looks adoringly at the infant.

  Before I can get my befuddled mind firing, Madison starts in “Your brother will kill me when he finds out what I have done, but I couldn’t watch you mope around anymore. I love you, and I want you to be happy. Drew has been spending time with us for the last few weeks to show us how much he’s changed. Please, just listen to what he has to say. He’s even convinced me, and you know I am not a fan of his at all.”

  “Lucy, we are going to give you two a chance to talk. If you need us, we will be on the patio with Lily. Drew, you need to hand over my daughter,” Blake says as he walks over to Drew and takes the tiny baby. I watch in amazement while Drew expertly shifts Lily from one arm to the other before handing her over to Blake.

  Blake looks at me intently and insists, “Yell if you need anything.” He walks out the patio door holding Lily.

  I turn and stare at the mantle as Drew walks over and sits in the chair opposite me. “Why are you here?” I softly ask once he sits and looks at me.

  “I have things I need to show and tell you, and your family has made getting in touch with you impossible. I’m not going to lie; I begged Blake and Madison to help me set this one last chance up. All I ask is you allow me to talk to you. If you never want to see me again after today, I will respect your wishes.” Drew appears so sincere; I fight with myself on whether or not to go down this road with him again.

  “Annie, just one more chance to explain. Please. I would like to show you something at my house. It won’t take long, and Madison has said she will go with us,” he continues.

  I lay my head back on the sofa and try to corral my thoughts. I can’t decide what will hurt less, knowing what Drew wants to show me and then refusing or always wondering what it was. I know I can’t let myself go down this road with him again.

  “Okay, but I want to drive myself to your house. I’ll see if Madison will ride with me and I’ll meet you there later. I want you to know, though, there isn’t anything that will change my mind. I truly meant what I said when we broke up the last time. I can’t keep doing this with you.” There is a very determined look in his eyes as he nods his understanding.

  A couple of hours later, I drive to Drew’s house with Madison in the front seat and Roger in the back seat. Madison has apologized over and over again, but I am still reeling from the events of the afternoon.

  “Please promise me this is the last time you ever pull a stunt like this. I won’t ever forgive you again,” I implore of her when we pull up outside of Drew’s house.

  “I promise. I want you to be happy. I hate seeing you miserable, and I needed to do something to help. I really believe that Drew has changed or I wouldn’t have done any of this,” she laments as she leans over and hugs me.

  “Roger and I will stay in the dining room. Call us if you need us,” she assures me, and we get out of the car and walk up to the front door.

  Before I can ring the bell, Drew opens the door and signals for us to come in. “Madison, you and Roger can make yourselves at home.” After taking my hand, he leads me toward the stairs. I try to pull from his grip but he holds firmly.

  “Can’t we talk in the living room?”

  He looks back at me with pleading eyes. “I need to show you something first. I promise you’ll understand if you just come with me.”

  Drew continues to walk up the stairs with my hand tightly wrapped in his. When we get to the top of the staircase, he turns toward his bedroom. I stop and try to pull my hand free again, but he looks back over his shoulder and raises his eyebrows, giving a little tug for me to follow. We continue walking past his room and stop outside the next door down, which is the room he always used for storage.

  He stands and looks at the door without opening it, and I wonder what is happening. Drew takes several deep breaths and looks at me, and I can see the apprehension in his eyes. “I had a decorator come in the week after you moved out and fix up this room. I planned to show it to you before now, but then I found out you weren’t pregnant. For a while, I thought I would trash it and try to forget about the room. Now, I realize this house, this room, all of it is yours. I did it all for you. I was happy living in a penthouse apartment all of my adult life. I took one look at you that first night, and the next week I started construction on this house. My subconscious was telling me what to do all along, and I was fighting it the whole way.”

  “Drew, you aren’t making any sense. What is in the room?” My curiosity is killing me as we stand and face the closed door.

  He laughs, and I see tears in his eyes. “Come, I’ll show you.”

  Drew opens the door, and I can’t bring myself to walk into the room. I gasp at the sheer beauty before me. The walls are pale lemon yellow, and a forest of trees filled with birds and squirrels line the two walls that face each other. On the other two walls are the French doors and the bay window looking out over the large backyard. The room is furnished with an antique cradle and rocker, a new round baby bed, and a matching changing table. Stuffed woodland creatures are spread throughout the room, and a fuzzy yellow rug covers the center of the hardwood floor.

  Drew places his hand on the center of my back and gently leads me into the room. “I had the room decorated for our baby. I planned to use it to prove to you how much I want the baby and you in my life. Only fate, God or Karma or whatever fucking son of a bitch controls the universe pulled the rug out from under me and took it all away. But I thought long and hard about everything that has happened since I first laid eyes on you. From the day I saw you walk into your brother’s living room, I was in love with you. Wait!” He holds up his hand when I try to interrupt.

  “Let me talk, please. Sit on the chair and let me have m
y say.” He points at the rocking chair, and I sit and watch as he starts pacing back and forth across the room.

  “I’m an old and stubborn fool. The first night I saw you, I thought that I only wanted to throw your little ass on the desk and fuck the shit out of you. Then, all of a sudden, without realizing what I was doing, I was completely changing my life. I went out the next week and bought this property and started building this house. I sold my fucking penthouse and moved in with Bradley when I could have lived anywhere while my house was being built. Didn’t you ever question why I would move in with my adult nephew?” He doesn’t give me the chance to answer before he runs his hand through his short hair and continues.

  “I didn’t even try to resist you, Annie. I wanted you, and when the opportunity presented itself, I jumped. I have been the clueless asshole you and everyone else called me, and I don’t deserve you or your forgiveness. I am asking, begging anyway. But first, I want to tell you the house was built for you. Whether I knew it at the time or not, I built it for you. This room was decorated for your child, and if that child isn’t my child also, well, I’m to blame for fucking up our life together.”

  He looks up at the ceiling and closes his eyes for a few seconds then wipes his eyes before he continues. “I put the house in your name.”

  “What? You can’t do that.” I stand abruptly and interrupt him.

  He points at the chair and orders me, “Sit your little ass down and let me finish.” So, I slowly sit back down and wait for him to continue.

  “It’s fucking already done. I moved my things into an apartment a few days ago. Don’t get me wrong; I want you back, but I’m willing to go slow to prove to you that I will do everything in my power to keep you this time. I want you to move into this house. It’s yours no matter what happens between us.”