The Fall Up

by Aly Martinez

  “You were talking to Henry?”

  “We’re both worried about you, Levee.”

  I didn’t know why I was so shocked by the fact that they were communicating without me, but even in the midst of an argument, it warmed me in all the right places.

  “Oh. Well. I just haven’t had a chance to tell him yet. That’s all.”

  Sam’s eyes flashed back to the door of his shop, which he stared at for entirely too long. I wasn’t sure what was going on inside his head, and when I was about to ask, he whispered, “I’m scared.”

  “What?” I asked, walking closer so I could hear him better.

  He cleared his throat but kept his eyes on the door. “I said, ‘I’m scared.’” Then his empty eyes lifted to mine. “I think you want to take your life back. I really fucking do. But I’ll be honest here: I’m not equipped for this. I thought I could do it, but I was wrong. Remember when you told me about that feeling you had in your stomach—like you were falling?”

  I nodded as tears welled in my eyes.

  “That’s exactly how I felt when you walked in here. My stomach dropped the moment I saw the anxiety in your eyes. I feel it every night when I watch you fall asleep.”

  Oh, God. “The free fall,” I whispered.

  “It’s terrible, but I was so fucking relieved when I realized it was just a sick kid you were upset about.”

  I inhaled deeply then closed my eyes. “I’m sorry.” I jumped in surprise when his arms suddenly folded around me.

  “No. I’m sorry. I should have pushed harder for you to stay in Maine. Levee, I love having you here. I’m just terrified that I’m going to fail you too.” He squeezed me painfully tight, burying his face in my hair. “I can’t lose you too.”

  I hated the idea of leaving more than I could ever adequately express, but when I closed my eyes and put myself in his shoes, I understood why he needed me to go. And, above and beyond all the stuff about his past, there was absolutely nothing in the world I wouldn’t do to extinguish the free fall for him.

  He had, after all, done it for me.

  I squeezed him tight and breathed in a lungful of the smoky sweetness that was Sam’s scent. “I’ll go back.”

  His body sagged in relief.

  “But not to Maine. They were idiots.”

  “Okay. Somewhere new. I’m good with that. Maybe somewhere closer this time.” He kissed the top of my head while gliding his hands up and down my back.

  “But, if I do this, I expect something in return.”

  He chuckled. “Whatever you want, baby. Just name it.”

  I laughed, because with that one phrase, I knew I had him cornered. “Quit smoking while I’m gone.”

  “You’re such a funny girl,” he said patronizingly.

  “I’m not joking. You’re not the only one who’s scared. Struggling through lung cancer with you isn’t exactly my idea of a good time. You quit smoking and we both get healthy.”

  “Fuck. It was sexy when you showed this evil side to Lexi. Me…not so much.”

  “Sam—”

  He groaned loudly. “Fiiiine. I promised my mom I’d quit anyway. I guess this is two birds, one stone and all.”

  I cuddled even closer into his chest. “I love it when you call me a bird and threaten to throw stones at me.”

  He smoothed a hand down my back. “I figured. You always have been kinkier than I am.”

  “So we’re really going to do this?” I asked, peeking up at him.

  “I’m in if you are, Levee. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for the peace of mind that your getting some help will give me.”

  I bit my lip and glanced away. I hated knowing that he worried about me like that, almost as much I loved knowing he cared enough to worry like that. He was such a good guy.

  My guy. A smile grew on my lips.

  “Does that include finally dicing up twenty-four thousand dollars in guitars?” I asked as my eyes landed on my four Gibsons leaning, untouched, against the far wall.

  “Whoa! Now, you’re just getting crazy.” A devilish smile formed on his plump lips, and all of his earlier anger and anxiety disappeared completely.

  My breath caught in my chest. God, he was gorgeous.

  I cupped his strong jaw. “There must be a million women throwing themselves at you. How are you not married with a boatload of kids by now?”

  His smile spread impossibly wide. “I hadn’t met you yet.” He shrugged before taking my mouth in a reverent kiss.

  Well, for Sam, it might have been just a kiss. But, for me, it was definitely reverent, because the whole time his lips were on mine, I thanked whatever God that ruled our crazy universe for guiding him to me on that bridge all of those nights before.

  “AND YOU’RE SURE? You’re going to need to install a security gate and everything. It’s going to totally fuck up the homey feel when you pull into your driveway!” Levee yelled over the wind as we drove in my Jeep up to her house.

  “I swear to God, if you ask me that again, I’m going to change my mind!” I shouted back. “Yes, Levee. Move in with me. Bring all seven billion pairs of your shoes and clutter up my spare bedroom until I’m forced to convert it into a new closet for you.” I tossed her a smile without taking my eyes off the road—or my hand off her thigh.

  “I feel bad though.” She tucked a leg underneath her as she turned to face me. “At least let me pay for all the security stuff.”

  I slowed at a stoplight and squeezed her thigh. “If it will make you stop freaking out about living with me, I’ll put the entire fucking mortgage in your name. Now, chill!”

  She narrowed her eyes at my outburst. “I’m not buying you a house, Sam.”

  “Then remind me what the point in dating you is again?” I flinched as her hand shot out and twisted my nipple.

  Immediately crossing her arms over her chest, she attempted to protect herself from my retaliation, but I just pinched the side of her ass instead.

  “Ouch!” she screamed before bursting into a fit of laughter.

  I was going to miss the hell out of that crazy woman.

  It had been three days since Levee had agreed to go back into a treatment program. She still hadn’t dealt with Devon. Nor had she told anyone that she was stepping away from the music industry for a while. I kept my mouth shut though, because she had found an inpatient program on the outskirts of San Francisco. It wasn’t the luxury resort she had been staying at in Maine, but it was still a nice place. After a long conversation with the director of the facility, we’d both felt comfortable that they would be able to handle her issues as well as protect her privacy while she was there. They’d never had a high-profile patient like Levee before, but they assured us that it wouldn’t be problem.

  Levee was adamant that I be involved in the process this time. I couldn’t say that I minded. It did wonders for my anxiety to know step by step what kind of help she would be receiving. Given our situation, Levee’s new doctor made a house call in order to meet us. Doctor Spellman was an older lady who was professional to the core. She told it exactly like it was and didn’t even do it with a smile. I fucking loved that about her. She didn’t blow smoke up our asses by saying that everything would be fine. Instead, she laid out a solid treatment plan, outlining exactly what she hoped Levee would take from her time spent under her care. She also recommended Levee spend a full thirty days in inpatient then switch to six months of outpatient therapy.

  Levee was still hesitant about the whole thing as we watched Doctor Spellman drive away

  I, however, was not.

  I was damn near ecstatic.

  And, for that reason alone, I lost my ever-loving mind for a full ten seconds.

  Levee’s eyes were huge as I pulled the pack of cigarettes from my pocket and, one by one, crumbled them on the floor.

  Five minutes later, I all but cried as I cleaned them up.

  And that was how I found myself riding in my Jeep without a cigarette for the very first time. I did, h
owever, have a nicotine patch on my arm, a mouth full of mango gum, and a beautiful woman I loved fiercely at my side. I could live with that.

  As we pulled up to the security gate in front of Levee’s mansion, she prattled off a mouthful of codes I’d need to get back in later that afternoon. I had to head up to rePURPOSEd and sign off on some paperwork I’d been ignoring since she’d gotten back, but Levee was staying at her place to get things ready for the little get-together for my family and friends she’d insisted on throwing before she left the following morning.

  Levee still wasn’t keen on announcing our relationship to the press yet, mainly because we’d been so successful at staying under the radar. San Francisco wasn’t LA. Paparazzi weren’t lurking around every corner. Just the night before, we had managed to sneak into a movie undetected. We were just a normal couple who’d gotten there late, made out in the top row like teenagers, then left early to have sex in the back seat of my car—granted, it was securely inside my garage when we’d done it, but she’d definitely ended the night with her ass naked on my back seat all the same. I wasn’t in any more of a hurry to give up the small things like that than she was.

  However, she was full steam ahead about meeting my mom and Ryan. And, with Ryan, came Meg, her husband Ty, and, of course, Morgan.

  And, because Morgan was going to be there, Levee had guilted Henry into coming too.

  “I love you,” Levee whispered against my lips as I prepared to leave.

  “I love you too. I’ll be back with the crew at four. We’re all meeting at my place then caravanning back up here.”

  She smiled and nodded absently.

  “You nervous?” I asked.

  She nodded again.

  “Don’t be. My mom loves you already.”

  She picked invisible lint off my shirt. “Did you tell her that I know Lionel?”

  “Um, if I had, I wouldn’t tell you not to be nervous. I’d tell you to run and hide.”

  She giggled then kissed me again.

  “I did tell her to bring the photo album though.”

  Levee drew in a sharp breath. “Yesssss!” she hissed.

  “That’s right. I’ll sacrifice my own manhood by allowing my mother to show you photos of me with a Jheri curl just to make sure you’re comfortable. You should know I expect you to express your appreciation with your mouth around my cock tonight.”

  Sliding her hand to my ass, she replied with a quick, “Deal.”

  After running at least a dozen errands, which included picking up a cooler full of beer for later that night, I was chilling on my couch, working on a new Photoshopped picture for Levee, when Ryan suddenly flew through my front door. Sampson started raising hell only to settle when he recognized who it was.

  “What the fuck?” I yelled as the door slammed behind Ryan.

  He propped himself against it as if a pack of zombies were hot on his heels. “Say yes,” he panted.

  “What?” I asked, closing my laptop and setting it beside me.

  “You’re my best friend. I’d do anything in the entire world for you. I love you like a brother. Just say fucking yes!”

  “What are you talking about?” I snapped, pushing to my feet.

  “Okay, I didn’t want to have to do this, but do you remember that time in high school when I did your Great Gatsby book report for you?”

  “Uhhhh, you only did my report because you broke the dishwasher by filling it with laundry detergent and you needed me to fix it before your mom found out,” I quickly corrected.

  He huffed. “That is not the point. You had a need and I took care of it.”

  I rolled my eyes. “What do you need?”

  He drew in a deep breath and straightened the collar on his button-down. “I need to get in Jen Jensen’s pants, and the way you can take care of this is by allowing me to bring her to meet your famous girlfriend.”

  “No fucking way! Family only!”

  Suddenly, there was a soft knock at the door.

  Ryan smiled sheepishly. “Oh, and by the way, I already invited her. We just had a fantastic lunch and a very romantic stroll around the park.”

  My mouth gaped as I blinked in utter shock. “I made out with Jen. And you want me to take her to my girlfriend’s house for a barbeque?”

  “Why must you always remind me that you made out with my future wife? It was one kiss over a year ago.”

  I stepped into his face. “She grabbed my junk, dude.”

  He stepped right back into mine and snarled, “Awesome. Now, say yes so she’ll be grabbing mine tonight.”

  I backed away, shaking my head and pinching the bridge of my nose. I couldn’t believe that I was going to agree to this. “Just make sure she keeps her mouth shut, yeah? Levee and I aren’t telling people we’re together yet.”

  “Not a problem. I had her sign a nondisclosure agreement.” He smiled proudly.

  I arched an eyebrow, incredulous. “Who the fuck are you? Christian Grey?”

  He curled his lip in disgust. “Who the fuck are you? A post-menopausal woman? Why do you know anything about Christian Grey?

  I screwed my lips tight. No fucking way was I telling him that that was the movie Levee and I had watched together. So, instead, I sighed and said, “Yes. Bring Jen.”

  His hand shot up in the air in victory. “My dick appreciates this. A lot.” He patted my shoulder enthusiastically.

  Just then, the door opened and my mom came walking in carrying a dish full of pasta salad with Jen following behind her. “Ryan, honey, I think you forgot someone outside.”

  Tossing his arm around Jen’s shoulders, he replied, “Of course not, Mrs. Rivers. How could I forget about a woman this beautiful?” He glanced down at Jen and spoke in the most ridiculous baby voice I had ever heard. “Sorry, baby. Sam and I had some business to talk about.”

  How that woman didn’t roll her eyes, I’d never know, because mine threatened to roll out of my head.

  Ten minutes later, everyone had arrived, and we began our ascent to Levee’s place.

  I knew that something was wrong the moment we arrived.

  “Dear God,” I breathed as I took in the sight in front of me.

  “Wow,” “Shit,” “No way,” and “Holy cow” all echoed behind me.

  It had been just over six hours since I’d dropped Levee off, and somehow, during that time, her yard had been transformed into weird combination of an extravagant white wedding mixed with the state fair—complete with a small Ferris wheel and every carnival game imaginable. Pearl-colored balloons decorated the corners of each booth, while large, pink floral arrangements covered all eight of the tables under the huge, white canopy.

  My mom elbowed me in the ribs. “Perhaps I should have brought something a little fancier than pasta salad…and maybe worn a cocktail dress.” She lifted her chin to a man in a tux pushing open the front door for us.

  “I think our idea of a get-together might be a little different than Levee’s,” I replied.

  “You think?” Meg snapped. “I’m in jeans!”

  “Levee!” Morgan cried when she suddenly appeared in the doorway looking every bit like the A-list celebrity she was—perfectly styled hair, tight, white dress, designer heels, a face full of makeup, and the fakest smile I’d ever seen that woman wear.

  I started laughing as her eyes found mine.

  “Give me a second,” I told the group as I headed in her direction.

  “Hi,” she squeaked when I wrapped her in a tight hug, lifting her off her feet.

  Setting her back on the ground, I asked, “What did you do?”

  Her eyes flashed away. “Well, I burnt the cake I was trying to make, and then I got nervous, so I called a party planner, and I…well, I may have gone a bit overboard.”

  Henry walked up behind her. “A bit?”

  “Shut up and go hit on one of the waiters,” she barked before shyly looking back up at me.

  Cupping my hand to my ear, I asked for clarification, “One
of the waiters?”

  Henry lifted his hand and wiggled four fingers, quickly extending it for a shake when Levee turned to glare at him.

  I reached out and took his hand. “What’s up, man?”

  “You know, just drinking your girlfriend’s Cristal and trying to convince her that red shoes would’ve looked better with that dress. But what do I know?” He shrugged, tipping a champagne glass to his lips.

  My eyes once again found Levee’s. “Cristal?”

  She huffed. “I already said I overdid it. Don’t give me shit. I was nervous, and that party planner was wicked pushy. I told her kids were coming, and before I knew what happened, carnies were setting up.”

  I grabbed the back of her neck and bent to touch my lips to hers. “I’m not going to give you shit. It’s really nice. Completely unnecessary. But sweet nonetheless. Is there cake?”

  Her body melted as she wrapped her arms around my neck. “Red velvet and chocolate.”

  “Good! Morgan’s birthday is next week. I’m telling her this is her party. Save Meg and Ty some cash.” I winked. Releasing her, I tossed my arms out to my sides and spun to face my family. “Happy birthday, Morgan!”

  Her eyes lit as she threw her hands over her mouth.

  As if on cue, Henry bustled out the door. “Wait. Morgan’s here?”

  At the sight of him, Morgan burst into tears.

  Meg and Ty laughed.

  My mom clutched her heart.

  Jen’s cheeks pinked as she gasped.

  Ryan looked down at her and cursed, shooting an angry glare in Henry’s direction.

  Levee’s arm looped around my waist.

  And I smiled for what felt like the very first time.

  “AND HERE IS Sam at four. We went for ‘All Night Long’ Lionel that year. I think it turned out pretty great,” Sam’s mom said as she turned the page of a huge photo album.

  For over an hour, the two of us had sat at one of the corner tables flipping through page after page of Sam’s childhood. There were numerous pictures of Anne and Sam’s dad too. It was easy to see where Sam got his good looks, but after talking to his mom, it was easy to see how he’d turned out to be such an amazing man as well.