In My Bed

by Jennifer LaCross

  But the moment I wake up and realize I’m still wrapped in Nate’s arms beats that by moment miles.

  Every time I’ve been interested in someone over the last few years that interest has centered around sex—my willingness to give my body and not my heart dictating the depth of every relationship. Last night, all of that changed for me.

  Spending the night sleeping with Nate was more satisfying than any of the sexual encounters I’ve had over the last few years. I went to that same space in my head, but this time I wasn’t there alone.

  Shifting my body and sliding out of my bed, I try my best not to wake Nate up as I open my door and go to the bathroom down the hall. When I get back, Nate has rolled onto his stomach, his colorful back on full display. I move closer and get back into bed next to him, lying on my side and propping myself up on one elbow. I trail the fingers of my other hand over the shapes on his back. Across the bare branches, then down the ropes of the swing before tracing the leaves and flowers as they litter his lower back in greens and pinks. The last place my fingers go is to the words hidden in the bark of the tree trunk, the pads of my fingers resting on those words as I read them over and over again.

  “It’s for my daughter,” Nate says, startling me so I almost fall off the bed when his rough voice fractures the silence of the morning. I had already put that together myself, but hearing him say it sends a wave of sorrow through me.

  “The tree’s lost all of its leaves and flowers when they were still supposed to be thriving. I wanted my piece to be symbolic of her life that ended too soon.” He clears his throat and turns his head on the pillow so he’s facing me. My fingers continue to trace over the ink on his back, but my eyes are now on his. “I told the artist that my parents have this tree in their yard with a wooden swing hanging from it. When I was a kid, I loved to swing on it, just pumping my legs and trying to reach the leaves. I even had my first kiss on that swing—Dana Jorgenson, ten years old.” He chuckles, making me smile. “Anyway, he drew something up and I loved it—thought it was perfect.”

  “It’s really beautiful, Nate.”

  “Thanks,” he says, giving me a small, sad smile before closing his eyes. I continue to run my fingers over his back, my nails scratching lightly over his skin as we lie in my bed. “Hmm … that feels nice,” he moans.

  I smile at the content look on his face, reveling in the natural level of intimacy there is between us. “What’re you doing today?” I ask him.

  “I’ve got band practice soon and then some studying, but my night is free. Want to do something?”

  “Like a date?” My smile grows as I think about going on a real and true first date with him.

  “Yeah.” He opens his eyes to look at me as he turns on his side and props his head up on his hand, a grin spreading across his face.

  “I’m going to the ballet with Jimmy and some of the freshmen from my floor, but it should be over around eight. If you want to meet me there, we can go to a late dinner.”

  “Late dinners tend to lead to late nights,” he says, his voice dipping low as his eyes flick down to study my mouth.

  I move in close to him, matching my body up to his. “Late dinners tend to lead to long nights. But why wait until then?” I push myself against his erection and wrap my leg over his hip, lust washing through me as I ask him to take our relationship to the next level.

  He lets out a groan, his hand reaching around to palm my backside as he presses further into me. “Believe me when I tell you how much I don’t want to wait, but right now there’s not enough time for what I want to do to you.”

  “Ever heard of a quickie?” I ask, grinding against him, the pressure of his hard cock rubbing against me in the most delicious way.

  “I have heard of a quickie,” he says, smirking at me, “but for our first time together, a quickie isn’t going to cut it. The moment I sink inside of you, I’m going to want to do it again and again and again. I don’t want our first time to be rushed, but it’s not because I’m being a gentleman right now. It’s because I’m being completely selfish.”

  Bolts of pleasure shoot through me. I could come from just the timbre of his voice and the promise of his words. “It is pretty selfish of you to leave me here all horny like this.”

  “I’ll make up for it tonight,” he says leaning forward and kissing me, his lips working against mine as he slips his tongue into my mouth.

  My hand slides into his hair which is tangled from sleep as the other slides down between us, palming his erection and trying to convince him to stay. He moans into the kiss, but then suddenly pulls away and hops out of bed.

  I watch him pull on his jeans from last night and then his shirt. “As much as I want to stay, your request to keep our relationship private will kind of be blown if I show up to practice in the same clothes as last night.”

  “Ugh, fine. Go home and change your clothes, leaving your super-hot and horny girlfriend here all alone,” I pout as I stand, trying to hide the smile that will let him know I’m not actually mad.

  After he leaves, I close and lock the door behind him, smiling as I get back in bed. I’m so excited for the night that Nate and I have planned that I’m literally wet with anticipation. I’ll be hard pressed to get anything done today because my mind will be occupied with how hard pressed I’ll be tonight. It’s been a while since I’ve had sex, and the animal within me is ready to pounce. The good news is she’ll be thoroughly satiated after tonight.

  Chapter 16

  Watching the dancer on stage as she executes thirty-two fouettés en tournant is like coming home. The only way for me to feel more at home would be if I were on stage with her. If I hadn’t already decided to start performing again, watching my first live ballet in three years would have convinced me that I need to get back to it.

  With the stage in front of me and the music flowing through me, the only thing on my mind is dance. And this is the first time today my mind is able to focus on something other than Nate. I spent my day at the ballet studio teaching my group class and then instructing the two young girls I work with once a week. I thought that my little dancers would be enough of a distraction because there’s little room to think of other things as I’m wrangling up the group of toddlers. But it seems that the little room in my mind is just enough space to think of Nate and everything we talked about last night.

  I’ve realized that I’ve only been part of the person that I want to be. I’ve made friends, but I’m not myself with them. I’ve dated guys, but I never let it go any further than a surface relationship. I’ve danced, but haven’t been performing.

  It’s not like I didn’t like my life over the last few years, I’ve just recognized that there’s a problem with liking my life—it’s not enough. I want to love my life and part of loving my life is accepting that things need to change. Nate is part of that change, but he’s not the only part. I need to open myself up to my friends and start a real friendship with them—open up and let them see the broken girl who’s hidden within the strong and sassy Jenna that they know.

  I lost a piece of who I was when I stopped performing. I want to get back up on stage and dance in front of an audience. Ever since Nate brought it up a couple nights ago—when he asked me why I don’t perform for fun—the idea has been in the back of my mind. I’ve been mulling over the possibility of dancing again, but I didn’t realize how much I wanted to actually start performing again until this moment. Watching the dancers on stage has made me ache with regret, so today, in order to let myself love life, I’m resolving to change it one step at a time.

  And when I get out of the ballet, that first step is standing there waiting for me. Nate’s presence overwhelms me. His posture is impatient, his eyes are dark, and his body looks tense as if he’s restraining himself from moving toward me. A sexual haze engulfs me as I think about what is in store for us tonight.

  “Hey there,” I say, my voice dipping low with arousal. “Looking for someone to take home tonight?”
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  A slow smile spreads across his face, his eyes closing slightly as he joins me in my cloud of lust. “If you’re offering, I’m more than willing to take you home. But let me warn you first—I’m so hard right now I won’t be able to go easy on you.” He pauses, his hands wrapping around my hips as he pulls me toward him so I can feel his hard length, proving what he just said true. Dipping his head, he trails his lips along my jaw and down my neck, grazing my skin. “And I’m going to be completely insatiable.”

  I smile and move in, nipping his ear. “You have no idea what insatiable is.”

  He groans and presses me closer. “I know we said we’d have dinner first, but I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to get rid of this hard-on until I’m inside of you. Is it cool with you if we just head back to my place and order-in later?”

  My smile grows as I kiss along his jaw until my lips reach his. He moves in to kiss me, but I pull back, an eager smile on my face. “It’s way more than cool with me, Nate. Where are you parked?”

  He doesn’t hesitate as he takes my hand and leads me into the parking structure and right to his truck. Moving around to my side, he unlocks my door and holds it open for me as I climb in. After I sit down, I turn to look at him and notice that his eyes are roving over my body, settling on the cleavage that’s peeking from the top of my dress. The arousal is clear on his face and when I glance down I can see it clear in his pants, his erection visible behind his zipper.

  The knowledge that I’ll have that big cock inside of me in less than an hour is enough to make me lose my mind. I reach over and put my hand on the door, keeping it open just as he starts to close it. The move startles him. I turn my body toward him before I reach up and pull his large body toward mine. He stumbles into me, his hand coming down next to my head as I open my legs and wrap them around him, my dress sliding up as his hardness presses against my panties.

  We smile at each other before he grinds his erection into me and crashes his mouth into mine, our lips parting and ravenous. The kiss is powerful and aggressive, the lust we’ve carried around for the last month coming out in the form of lips, tongue, and teeth. He kisses, nips, and sucks his way around the exposed skin of my neck and chest. His free hand comes up to palm my breast, his thumb teasing over the nipple through the fabric of my clothes. My hands travel from his hair, down his muscled back until they rest on his firm ass, pulling him closer as I lift my hips into him. We get lost in each other, our touches teasing and our moans echoing in the cab of his truck.

  He lifts himself up, his eyes dark with desire as he looks down at me and traces a finger along the neckline of my dress, making me shiver and sigh. His hand slides under the edge of my dress and into the cup of my bra, pulling it down to free my breast. He repeats the move on the other side until I’m exposed and aching under his gaze. His eyes flick around my chest, my nipples pebbling at his growl of approval right before he comes back down and wraps his lips around one of the hardened tips.

  I gasp at the warmth of his mouth and I can’t hold back anymore. I reach a hand between us and grip his cock through his jeans. “Fuck me, Nate. I can’t wait anymore.”

  My words cause him to stop and pull back, the expression on his face definitely not one I was expecting—he looks shocked and almost distraught. He fixes my shirt covering me back up before he stands, his gaze searching the parking lot. His hand flies up and into his hair, his fingers sliding through it to push it off his forehead as he mumbles a curse.

  I sit up and scoot my bottom back on the seat. “Nate?”

  His eyes meet mine and he shakes his head, blowing out a big breath as he reaches down to adjust himself in his pants. “Shit, Jenna. I almost just fucked you in a parking garage.”

  I laugh softly at his reaction to our almost public sex. “I asked you to.”

  A smile breaks through, the distress leaving his expression. “More like you told me to.”

  “I’m demanding,” I admit with a shrug.

  He looks at the ground and shakes his head as he laughs before shutting the door and moving around to his side of the truck. I lean across and lift the lock so he doesn’t have to use his key. He climbs in and starts the engine, pulling out of the spot without saying anything. As we exit the parking garage, I slide across the bench seat so I’m sitting right next to him. I buckle my seatbelt and look over at him, his eyes focused on the road.

  “So you’re not into public sex?” I ask, legitimately curious.

  He shakes his head and smiles, looking over at me briefly. “I can be.”

  “Then why were you so freaked out back there?”

  He sighs. “I wasn’t freaked out so much as scared straight. I was too close to unzipping my pants, moving your panties aside, and sinking into you.” His jaw tenses and his hands grip the steering wheel. “I don’t want our first time to be in a car just like I don’t want our first time to be a quickie.”

  His words send my heart racing as we drive through the streets of Downtown. He pulls to a stop at a red light and looks over at me as I ask, “Well, what do you want?”

  He doesn’t answer me for a moment as he closes his eyes and licks his lips. The light turns green and he shifts in his seat at he starts to drive again, his foot heavy on the gas pedal as he pulls onto the freeway. “There are a lot of things I want, Jenna.” He pauses, his eyes glazing over with desire. “I want to undress you slowly, take my time worshiping every inch of that smooth skin. I want to taste you as I slide my tongue inside your pussy, making you come in my mouth. I want look down into your eyes as I move inside you for the first time. And then I want to see the pleasure cross your face as you come around my cock.”

  My body is throbbing, aching for him to make good on everything he just said. I shift in my seat, desire overwhelming as he clears his throat and goes on, his voice lower than it was a moment ago, the deep vibrations acting like fingers on my skin. “And then we’ll switch positions and I’ll fuck you over and over and over again.”

  I swallow, the level of arousal coursing through me way beyond manageable. My fingers itch to move to my clit and circle it, but I resist the urge and press my thighs together instead. “How much longer until we get to your place?” I ask, my impatience clear in my tone.

  He presses down on the gas as he passes cars on the freeway. “Not fucking soon enough,” he growls.

  ***

  Anticipation. It’s something that I’ve never appreciated the value of until tonight.

  It took twenty endless minutes to get here, but now that we’re at Nate’s door I realize I would have waited hours to be with him. Hell, I’ve already waited a month.

  All of my senses feel heightened as I wait for him to open his front door. He slides his key into the hole and turns it until the lock clicks. I hear him take a breath as he opens the door, the hinges creaking as it swings in. When we get inside, he closes and locks the door as I walk to his room at the end of the hall. When I get there, I turn around expecting him to be on my heels, but instead he’s standing at the opposite end of the hall, his body tense and his breathing heavy. My eyes roam over his muscled body, taking in every inch of him as I imagine what he’ll look like completely naked, his cock hard and ready.

  He stalks over to me with determination and lust in his eyes, my heart racing with each stride. When he’s standing in front of me, he doesn’t throw me up against the door and tear off my clothes like I’m expecting. Instead, he leans down and presses a tender kiss to my lips as he turns the handle on the door and opens it. His hands move to my waist, his long finger wrapping around me as he walks me backward into his room. Using his foot, he kicks the door shut and pitches us into darkness.

  His mouth moves against mine, the lazy strokes of his tongue and the softness of his lips driving me mad. I try to press against him, but he holds me back and pulls away from the kiss. He lets go of my waist and leaves me completely alone in the middle of his room.

  I hear a drawer open and then a light flicks on, the b
rightness making me blink. I turn around and see Nate setting several condoms on his nightstand, and just the sight of those foil wrappers makes me wet. He chuckles a little as he steps toward me, and I move toward him, meeting him halfway at the end of his bed.

  He reaches his arms around me, one palming my ass as the other reaches for the top of my zipper, his hand resting there as he leans in to suck on the shell of my ear. My body trembles as his tongue slides over my skin.

  “I did warn you that I’d be insatiable,” he whispers.

  I smile and move my hand around to cover his on my back as I start to guide the zipper down my dress. When it’s unzipped down to the top of my backside, I let my arms fall to my sides. He trails both of his hands up my back, his fingers tracing my spine until they reach my shoulders. He slides the straps down my shoulder and I let my dress fall from my body, pooling at my feet.

  He steps back, his gaze roaming over me as I stand in my heels and underwear. I reach around to unclasp my bra and toss it at him, biting back a smile when he catches it and sets it on the end of the bed. His eyes settle on my chest as I step out of my heels and take the pins out of my hair. But when I start to slide my panties down, Nate shakes his head.

  “Leave them on. I want to take those off.”

  I smile. “And I thought I could be demanding.” He doesn’t laugh at my joke, but it doesn’t matter because now that I’m nearly naked, it’s his turn to undress.

  He pulls his shirt over his head, dropping it on the floor as he toes off his shoes. Bending down, he pulls off his socks and then stands up, releasing the button and carefully unzipping his fly to reveal that he’s not wearing any underwear.