In My Bed

  “Extra pico?” I ask, knowing exactly where he picked these up from.

  “Of course,” he replies, acting affronted that I’d doubt him, even though his smile tells me that he’s not really insulted. “And eat fast because dessert is starting to melt.”

  “Ice cream?”

  “Yep.” He nods.

  I smile as we both sit on the floor and start to eat. I tell him a little more about my audition and he tells me some about his day, but mostly we just eat, both of us trying to finish so we can move on to the next part of our night.

  Nate finishes his food before I do and gets up to grab dessert.

  “I don’t have any bowls. I’ve only got plates,” I tell him as he takes out a pint of chocolate ice cream.

  “We’ll just eat from the carton,” he says, grabbing a plastic spoon from the bag.

  He takes a few bites before I’m done with my dinner, and as soon as he sees that I’ve taken my last bite, he offers me a spoonful of partially melted chocolate ice cream.

  “Mmmm, chocolate is my favorite ice cream flavor,” I moan. “I may be a complicated girl, but I like my sweets simple.”

  “I brought some toppings, but it sounds like you’re enjoying this enough as it is.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “What toppings did you bring?”

  “Whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and some crunchy topping thing I saw over by the ice cream.”

  “Whipped cream?” I ask, smiling as I take the ice cream from his hand and set it on the floor. “I may not like toppings on my ice cream, but I’m open to trying them on other things.”

  “Like pie?” He smirks.

  “Like cock.”

  His eyes flare at my suggestion as I stand up and untie my robe, letting it drop to the floor. I grab the can of whipped cream and open it, putting some on my finger and licking it off. “Care to let me have a taste?”

  He growls, standing up and grabbing me around the waist, tossing me onto the bed and kneeling on the floor between my legs. “Not before I get one.”

  His tongue laves, swirls, and strokes me, and when his fingers join in, it’s not long until the pleasure is too much and I come, gasping his name.

  We spend the night celebrating our achievements, each orgasm like a gold star for a job well done. And when we’re on the verge of sleep, both of us exhausted after weeks of craziness and hours of sex, I sigh in complete contentment as I cuddle closer to him and drift off to sleep.

  Chapter 19

  “Mmm¸ where are you going?” I mumble, blinking sleepily as Nate climbs out of bed. He’s still naked—we both are—and my body starts to respond at the sight of him standing there without a stitch of clothing on.

  He bends down with his back to me and pulls on his jeans, sans boxers. When he turns around, he’s fastening the button on his jeans. “I’ve got band practice in two hours and I want to go home and take a shower first. As thorough as you were when you licked it off, I’ve still got whipped cream in some very private places.” The roughness of his morning voice sends chills though my body as he gives me a lazy smile.

  I sit up, holding the sheet to my chest, and pout as he pulls on his shirt. “Well, this isn’t how I wanted to wake up this morning. Early hour, naked and alone in bed while my boyfriend ditches me.”

  He sits down at my desk chair and starts to put on his socks and shoes. “If I bring you coffee, will that make you feel a little better about me leaving so early?”

  “I guess.” I shrug as he walks over and kisses me. When his lips touch mine, I let the sheet fall, exposing my breasts. He pulls back and his eyes move down my body, my nipples hardening at the heat in his gaze. “But I know what would make me feel even better than coffee.”

  He groans and closes his eyes, tilting his head up to the ceiling. “As tempting as it is to stay here with you indefinitely, I have to get going.”

  Now it’s my turn to groan. “Fine. I’ll take the coffee then.”

  He nods and looks back down, trying to keep his eyes on my face, but they wander back down to my exposed chest. “I should go now before I convince myself to stay. And when I come back up here, no sexy ambush. Just a coffee drop.”

  I lift the sheet and shoo him with my hand, smiling the entire time. “You have my word.”

  He comes in for one more kiss, his lips lingering on mine soft and sweet before he walks over and opens the door. When he steps out into the hall, I call out to him.

  “Yeah?” he replies, turning to look at me.

  “A bagel too, please?”

  He smiles, his eyes softening as he looks over at me. And right before he closes the door, he says, “You’re lucky I love you.”

  My heart stops. My breathing halts. My world freezes.

  You’re lucky I love you.

  I love you.

  He loves me.

  The look in his eyes when he said it. The way his mouth wrapped around the words. The casual manner in which he said them—like he’s been saying them to me for years.

  Everything about that moment cements itself in my mind. I feel like I should be panicking. I feel like I should be freaking out. I feel like I should be doing something … anything other than what I’m doing right now. The me that I’ve known for the last few years wouldn’t be sitting here with a big smile on her face waiting for Nate to get back so she can tell him that she loves him too.

  I jump out of bed and get dressed before running to the bathroom. When I get back, I climb into bed and wait for him to get back. It’s only a few moments before he knocks on my door.

  “It’s open. But you didn’t have to knock, you could’ve jus …” The words die on my lips as I look at who’s opened my door. “Rachel? I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow?” I glance out the door as she closes it and comes in.

  I sit up, nerves jumping through me. Nate will be back soon and I haven’t told Rachel about him yet. If she sees him here this early, if she sees him here at all, she’s going to wonder what’s going on.

  “Change of plans. I got home late last night.” Her voice sounds small and weak. I’ve been so worried about getting caught with Nate that I didn’t even look at her when she came in. She looks tired, and sad, and broken.

  “Is everything okay?” I ask her.

  “Yeah. No. I just …” She takes a breath, sitting on the bed and closing her eyes before she quietly says, “Jake cheated on me with Natalie.”

  “What? Who?” I’m completely shocked.

  “The girl he was seeing before we met,” she explains. “He cheated on me.”

  “While you were at home with your family?” Grieving over your mother? I don’t say it, but it’s implied. I’m completely outraged and seriously pissed. She doesn’t open herself up easily, and she trusted him. I know how that pain feels.

  “Not exactly. I saw her leaving his room late on Thursday night.”

  “Thursday? Wait, I talked to you on Thursday and you said that you were home.”

  She shakes her head. “It’s a long story, but his grandma went into the hospital and we fought about me staying. He said some pretty hurtful things and left for the hospital without even giving me a chance to think about changing my plans. I changed them anyway, but I wasn’t able to get ahold of him.”

  I know that he went out with Nate on Thursday. Did Nate see him leave with Natalie? Did Nate watch while Jake cheated on my best friend? Nate had told me that he was the designated driver, so he either had to see Jake leave Charlie’s with Natalie or drive them back to the dorm. I’m completely confused. Nate is a better guy than that. Isn’t he?

  “I came back to the dorm, upset about everything he said. I wanted to come and talk to you, but you sounded so tired on the phone and I know you had a lot on your mind with your audition. Plus, at that point, Jake and I had just had an argument. Then when I went to take a shower, I saw her leaving his room, adjusting her clothes. I hadn’t talked to him since he left for the hospital to check on his grandma, but I just got
done talking to him and he keeps telling me that he didn’t do it. I don’t know what to do. I can’t believe he—” Her voice hitches on a sob, tears starting to fall.

  “Oh, Rach,” I whisper, pulling her to me.

  It’s that moment when my door opens and Nate walks in. “I had to go to two coffee carts to get you a bagel. They were out at the first.” He hasn’t looked over at the bed yet; instead, he’s focusing on balancing everything he has in his hands while closing the door.

  I tense, my body completely freezing. Rachel pulls her head off my chest and looks over at Nate and then back to me quickly before turning back to look at him. “Nate?” she asks.

  He looks up at her voice and clears his throat, clearly unprepared for what he just walked into. “Hey, Rachel.” He sets everything down on my desk and turns toward us. “Everything okay?”

  All of the questions about Nate’s involvement come flooding back and I can’t keep my mouth shut. “Rachel just has some concerns about her boyfriend,” I say, my tone biting and harsh. I sound angry, but more than anything, I’m hurt. Why would Nate condone Jake doing that to my friend? All of the happiness I felt when he left my room—when he said those three little words—has vanished and in its place is pain and confusion.

  Rachel sits all the way up and looks between the two of us completely confused.

  “What kind of concerns?” he asks gently.

  “Concerns involving Thursday night. Were you with him that night? Were you hanging out?”

  He clears his throat and glances over at Rachel, but only briefly. When his eyes come back to mine, they’re full of questions. “Yeah … We went to dinner at Charlie’s,” he replies, furrowing his brow. “What kind of concerns do you have?” Nate’s eyes flick back to Rachel’s, but I’m the one who starts talking.

  “Jake cheated on her. She saw Natalie leaving his room late on Thursday. Did you see them leave together?” Rachel hisses in a breath at the blunt question. Nate’s eyes go wide, and I don’t know what to think about that response. He looks caught. He looks guilty.

  And my heart breaks.

  He turns to Rachel, shaking his head and closing his eyes. He runs a hand through his hair with a muttered curse. “He didn’t cheat on you Rachel.” He sounds completely sure about that.

  Why would he sound so sure?

  “Then … why was she … ” Rachel mumbles quietly.

  “We had all gone back to Toby’s since Jake was determined to get plastered and the guys at Charlie’s stopped serving him. He was so upset, and all he kept saying was that he fucked up with you, Rachel. He’d left his phone in his room and he begged me to go get it. He was really upset, so I did. Jake wasn’t in his room with Natalie—I was.”

  I inhale sharply, the words piercing my heart like a knife. “What did you …” I clear my throat, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. I was so worried about Rachel finding out about Nate and me when she came in, and now I’m not sure that there’s anything to tell her. “What were you doing with her?”

  He looks back over at me and I know there’s no way he misses the hurt and tears in mine. “Nothing,” he affirms.

  “Were you with her?”

  “No, Jenna,” he tells me, shaking his head. “We had seen her at Charlie’s and I guess she thought she’d try to hit Jake up, even though he brushed her off at the bar. I told her he wasn’t there and that there was no way he’d be interested. She wasn’t at the door for more than two minutes before I shut it in her face. Rachel must’ve come into the hall right as I was closing the door.” He looks so sincere, so truthful. But how can I trust my instincts? I’ve believed a liar before.

  “Nate …” I say his name, my voice cracking with emotion as I beg him to convince me of his honesty.

  “I’ll never lie to you, Jenna. Never to you.”

  His body slowly shifts closer to mine as we stare into each other’s eyes. I want to believe him and I think that I do. He watches me, understanding why I’m hesitant. As always, he’s patient with me, not angry or frustrated—just waiting for me give him a sign that I believe him.

  “Please, believe me.”

  Before we can say anything else, a throat clears next to me and I startle. Rachel—I complete forgot she was still here. I turn to look at her and I see the questions in her eyes, but she keeps them to herself as she turns to Nate.

  “So he wasn’t with her?”

  Nate clears his throat. “He didn't sleep with her and he’d never do that to you. He loves you, and in case you didn’t already know, that’s big for him.”

  She nods. “I know, and I love him. And in case you didn’t know, that’s pretty big for me too. I’m gonna go talk to him. Thanks, Nate.”He nods as he tucks his hair behind his ears. “And Jenna? We’ll talk later,” she says, her eyes flicking from mine to Nate and then back to me.

  “So you believe him?” I ask her quietly, still not sure. It all seems pretty coincidental and convenient.

  “I do,” she says with a small smile. She leans over to hug me goodbye, and when she does she whispers in my ear, “But do you?” With that question floating in the air, she gets up and leaves to go find Jake.

  As soon as the door closes, Nate is kneeling in front of me. “Talk to me. What are you thinking?”

  “I’m thinking a lot of things, Nate.”

  “Do you believe me?”

  “I do believe you.” My voice is strong and confident as I say it, and he smiles. “But I don’t know that I should.”

  “You know I wouldn’t cheat on you, right?”

  I don’t think so, but now there’s a little, itty-bitty, teeny-tiny part of me that is mocking that conviction. And since I don’t want to lie to him, I don’t give him a straight answer. “I’ve been blinded by love before, and I don’t want to let it happen again.”

  I see in his eyes that he knows I’m referring to his declaration from earlier.

  “I’ve told you before that you can trust me. I’m not going to do that to you.” His hands come up to hold mine on my thighs as his eyes hold my gaze. I can see the truth in them. We’ve always had this connection from the first moment I looked into his eyes at The Grove, before I even knew that I wanted him to love me.

  Before I even knew that I wanted to love him.

  “I trust you,” I tell him. “Just don’t ever break it because I don’t think I’d be able to recover this time.” I smile, my tone trying to make it sound like I’m joking.

  But just like I can read him, he can read me. He knows how serious that statement is.

  “I won’t break your trust,” he asserts, pausing for a moment before he starts to talk again. “I love you, Jenna. And I know it slipped out earlier, but honestly, I’m surprised it didn’t sooner. I want you to know that I meant it.” The smile that spreads across his face is tentative and nervous.

  My heart is beating fast after hearing him say those words so directly.

  But he goes one step further than just say that simple, yet powerful phrase. Before I can say anything, he lets go of one of my hands and reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. His hand then slides down to cup my face, his thumb brushing along my lips before it settles on my cheek. I lean into his touch and close my eyes, the intimacy of this confession and this moment almost too much.

  “As long as you let me, I’ll love you, Jenna.”

  My heart skips a beat as he says it and I feel like my heart will never beat the same way again. Because I love him too. I open my eyes and take my free hand, placing it over his on my jaw.

  “I love you, too, Nate.” My heart may be beating fast and my body may be trembling, but my voice is steady and strong.

  He leans in and his lips capture mine in a kiss—a kiss that means more than any other kiss. It’s a confession of our love, and a promise of the future.

  When he pulls away to look at me, I smile. “You have to get to rehearsal, huh?”

  “Do you think I should cancel?” he asks me, his voice dipping l
ow as he kisses down my neck.

  “I think you should.”

  “Probably a good idea since I plan on making love to you for the better part of the morning,” he murmurs into my skin.

  “Making love? That sounds so cheesy.”

  He throws his head back and laughs, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “It kind of does, huh?”

  “Completely.”

  I reach down and brush against the bulge in his jeans, his breath hissing with the slight pressure. I move my hand over and into his pocket, pulling out his phone. “Here,” I say, handing him his phone. “And you should probably shower before we get dirty again. I may love you, but I’m not too excited about that leftover whipped cream you were talking about earlier.”

  He laughs against my neck. “Say it again.”

  “What?” I ask, feigning innocence. “The part about leftover whipped cream?”

  “No,” he says, nipping at my shoulder. “The part where you said you loved me.”

  I smile. “I love you, but you should probably stop now and go shower.”

  He nods against my chest, his lips skimming over my nipples, the heat of his mouth making them hard through the material of my shirt.

  “Text the guys while I get cleaned up,” he says, tossing me his phone as he grabs a towel from my drawer.

  I go to send a message, but his phone’s locked. “It’s locked,” I say, holding it out to him.

  “Password’s zero-one-zero-nine. My apartment number.”

  I nod as I put in the password and the phone unlocks. He walks out as I’m sending the message to Toby, Jake and Brian that he won’t be at band practice today. When I’m done, I close out of the message app and look at his phone.

  I have complete and total access to everything in here now. He told me his password and he left to take a shower. A person doesn’t just use a phone for making calls anymore. There are texts, emails, photos, social media apps, and internet searches. He’s given me access to all the secrets he could be keeping and I could spend the next ten minutes trying to find something that would make me question and doubt. But he trusted me, and in order to prove that I trust him, I put the phone down. He’d never know if I went snooping, but I’d know. I want to trust him and this is me proving that trust. Not to him, but to myself. And surprisingly, it’s easier than I thought.