Frisky Business

by Clodagh Murphy

  David sucked his breath in through his teeth. ‘Not a good time for anyone in that business. I was lucky – saw it coming and got out before the shit really hit the fan.’

  And got bailed out by NAMA probably, Romy thought.

  ‘You must be finding it tough?’ he asked.

  ‘Of course – isn’t everyone? But I’m doing okay. I never over-extended myself in the first place, so I wasn’t hit too hard. I’m just riding it out, living on rental income.’

  ‘Good, good – glad to hear it,’ David said, but she could tell from his tone that he was disappointed not to have the opportunity to lord it over her. ‘I was sorry to hear about your dad, by the way.’

  ‘Oh, thanks,’ Romy mumbled. Shit! She could feel tears stinging the backs of her eyes, and she was grateful now that she had the mask to hide behind.

  ‘Was it sudden, or had he been sick for—’

  ‘I was made redundant,’ Lesley cut in.

  ‘Oh, sorry to hear that,’ David said, sounding delighted. ‘If there’s anything I can do to help …’ he trailed off, glancing around the room.

  ‘I’m grand, thanks. I’m doing freelance web design now, and it’s going pretty well.’

  ‘Great!’ he said distractedly. ‘I’m not going to be here much longer anyway. Katie and I are shipping out, moving to Canada. This country has had it.’ His eyes roved around the room restlessly as he spoke. ‘Well, nice to see you both. I’d better go and mingle. Enjoy yourselves, girls.’

  ‘Yeah, thanks David,’ Lesley called after him. ‘Gobshite!’ she said as soon as he was out of earshot.

  ‘Thanks,’ Romy said, ‘for, you know, jumping in there …’

  ‘No bother,’ Lesley said.

  Even through her mask, Romy could feel Lesley’s uncomprehending look. She knew Lesley didn’t understand why any mention of her father’s death still filled her with horror and threatened to turn her into a trembling wreck. It was almost two months since he’d died, and it wasn’t as if it was a shock – he had been sick for a very long time. She knew everyone thought she should be starting to get over it by now. But they didn’t know her secret. No one knew what had happened the night her father died – which made her all the more grateful to Lesley for her unquestioning support.

  ‘He’s such a prick!’ Romy said, her eyes following David as he worked his way around the room.

  ‘Well, all the more reason to drink him out of house and home,’ Lesley said cheerfully before draining her champagne glass and reaching for another as a waiter circulated with a tray.

  ‘It’d take a long time to drink David out of house and home,’ Romy said, glancing around the huge reception room. Light from the massive chandeliers overhead danced off the crystal champagne glasses, and banks of fresh flowers stood on marble tables with ornate gilded legs, releasing their heady perfume into the room. Lesley had gasped earlier when, after they had driven through the electronic gates and up a long, sweeping drive lit by flaming torches, their taxi had been waved to a stop on the crunchy gravel in front of the entrance by a uniformed attendant. In the vast entrance hall, a string quartet was positioned on the balconied landing at the top of a curved double staircase, the gentle strains of Mozart floating down to greet the guests as they arrived. David’s home was a monument to the Celtic Tiger, a remnant of an era that already seemed light years away. It was like visiting the Palace of Versailles – so opulent and ostentatious, and so far removed from real life.

  ‘Well, we’ve got all night,’ Lesley said now. ‘Drink up!’

  Romy grabbed another glass of champagne. Maybe she should get drunk. It might help get her in the party mood. She felt antsy and agitated, and she regretted letting Lesley talk her into coming. She just wanted to go outside and scream her lungs out; or race home, curl up under her duvet and cry herself to sleep. Maybe drinking herself into oblivion would be a suitable alternative.

  ‘Right, we should get mingling,’ Lesley said.

  Romy looked around at the sea of blank anonymous masks and her heart sank. There were probably people she knew here – other people from the old neighbourhood – but she had no way of knowing who they were, and she was in no mood for making small talk with strangers. She wondered which of her old friends were here, and suddenly she realised she was wondering about one person in particular – Kit. It wasn’t likely he would be at David’s party. She knew he was home from New York – her mother had told her – but as far as she knew, he never got in touch with any of the old crowd when he was back. He’d certainly never contacted her.

  She shook her head, annoyed with herself. She was being ridiculous. What difference would it make if Kit was here? They didn’t even know each other anymore. He lived in New York, and they hadn’t seen each other in years. It wasn’t as if they could go back to what they’d had. She was just feeling sad and a bit lonely, longing for the comfort of being really close to someone. For the first time in ages, she wished she was still with Gary. Damn it, she couldn’t hack this. She didn’t like David and she didn’t want to be at his party with all these people she didn’t know.

  ‘Lesley, I’m sorry, but I—’

  ‘You want to go?’ Lesley guessed.

  Romy nodded, feeling like the worst flake. ‘I’m really sorry. Do you mind?’

  ‘No, I’m fine. Go on. I know I bamboozled you into coming in the first place.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Romy said with an apologetic smile that she realised Lesley couldn’t see. At least Lesley knew this wasn’t like her. Romy was somebody who saw things through, and she was usually completely dependable as a friend, sibling, daughter …

  Shaking the thought away, she hugged her friend goodbye and started to make her way out. She was trying to squeeze past a large group of people by the door, deep in drunken shouty conversation and oblivious to her attempts to get through, when suddenly she felt someone grab her hand from behind. She spun around expecting to see Lesley, and instead found herself face to face – well, mask to mask – with Darth Vader.

  ‘Where are you going?’ he asked, his voice slightly muffled by his helmet.

  She said nothing, shaking her hand out of his grasp.

  ‘Are you okay?’ he asked, bending his head closer to hers in a strangely intimate way. He took her hand again, his gloved fingers stroking hers.

  ‘I – I’m fine.’

  ‘You don’t seem fine. You’re upset.’

  How could he tell? He couldn’t even see her face.

  ‘Are you angry with me?’

  She suddenly realised that he was still holding her hand and she pulled it away. ‘No! Of course not. Though you were staring.’

  ‘I thought you’d never shake off that Oompa-Loompa.’

  God, this guy was intense. Even though he was no longer holding her hand, she felt super-glued to the spot. She’d never noticed how sexy Darth Vader was before. Was she imagining the heat between them? She’d swear he was smouldering at her under that mask. She peered into his eyes, wondering if he was someone she knew.

  ‘I have to get out of here,’ she said, but she didn’t move.

  ‘I know,’ he said, grabbing her hand again. ‘Come on.’

  She didn’t resist as he pulled her towards the door, the crowd parting easily to let them through. But when he made for the staircase, she dug her heels in. ‘No, I want to leave,’ she said, pointing to the door.

  ‘We can’t leave,’ he said. ‘David will see us.’

  Before she had a chance to protest that it was a party and David was hardly going to hold them hostage against their will, he had turned and was striding up the stairs two at a time, pulling her along behind him. She needed all her concentration to keep up without tripping. She had drunk too much champagne and eaten too few canapés. It didn’t help that all she could think about was sex. There was something so urgent about his whole demeanour that made her think this was leading to one thing. And for some reason she was fine with that – as long as she didn’t think about it too much
…

  When they got to the top of the stairs, he started opening doors off the landing, seemingly at random. The first three were occupied by writhing, panting couples, but the fourth was empty and he pulled her in, flicking on the light and closing the door swiftly behind them.

  ‘Shit, there’s no key,’ he said, his fingers tracing over the lock. ‘Do you know where there’s a key?’

  She shook her head. How would she know where there was a key?

  He pulled off his gloves and tossed them on the floor. ‘We’ll just have to be quick – and block the door,’ he said, turning her around and pushing her against the door. She heard movement behind her and something fell to the floor with a thud. Then his hands were on her waist, pulling her closer to him, and she felt the wet warmth of his lips on her neck, and knew he had removed his helmet. If she turned around now, she would see him, but she didn’t want to. He might be really old or repulsive, and she didn’t want to know, because she really wanted this to happen. Though he didn’t sound old …

  ‘This means I won’t be able to go down on you,’ he whispered as he nibbled her ear, ‘and I wanted to do all your favourite things.’

  The words barely penetrated her fuzzy brain as he started palming her breasts. How would he know what her favourite things were? But when she opened her mouth to say something, all that came out was a squeak as he pinched her nipples. Her breath caught in her throat as he bent to grab the hem of her dress, hiking it up slowly until it was around her waist. He obviously wasn’t going to waste much time with the preliminaries, and she didn’t care. At least David’s idea of the masks acting as an icebreaker was working – though she doubted this was quite what he had in mind.

  ‘Red, very appropriate,’ he said, chuckling softly when he saw her knickers, which she had bought specially to go with her costume. Then he was sucking on her neck again while his fingers plunged inside her knickers, his other arm clamped around her waist pulling her back into his body as he began to stroke her.

  God, it had been too long since a man had touched her, and she felt herself melt around his fingers. She should have made more of an effort to find a boyfriend after she broke up with Gary. Maybe then she would have been able to resist letting a masked stranger feel her up at a party.

  ‘This is new,’ he said, his breath hot in her ear as his fingers brushed lightly over her pubic hair. ‘Does David like it like this? Or do you think you’ll need it to keep you warm in Canada?’

  ‘Wh— what?’ She gulped. Oh, God, he thought she was— ‘I don’t … I mean, I’m not—’

  ‘Hey, I like it,’ he said soothingly, slipping a finger inside her. ‘It’s sexy.’

  ‘Oh, my God!’ she gasped. ‘You’re – you’re having an affair with David’s wife!’

  His fingers withdrew instantly and she felt the loss of his body heat as he jerked away from her, leaving her twitching with need. Resting her forehead against the door, she gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut, and resisted the urge to bang her fists on the wood in frustration. Just a couple more seconds and she’d have—

  ‘Jesus! You’re not … you’re not Katie?’ he stammered breathlessly behind her.

  ‘No.’

  ‘Oh my God! Fuck! Oh my God!’

  ‘Um … maybe you should put your helmet back on,’ she said, without turning around.

  ‘Oh! Yeah … fuck!’ She heard shuffling behind her, and then slowly turned around to find him stumbling around the room clutching his head, wailing ‘Oh, Jesus! Oh, Jesus!’ and bumping into furniture. She couldn’t help smiling to herself at how comical he looked – Darth Vader having a panic attack.

  ‘Hey, don’t freak out.’ He stilled at the sound of her voice. ‘I haven’t seen your face. I don’t know who you are, remember? Just … keep your helmet on.’ And your hair, she thought.

  ‘But I said – and I put my – oh, Jesus! I’m so sorry.’

  ‘It’s okay,’ she said. ‘Why don’t you sit down?’ She waved at the bed. He nodded and did as she suggested, sinking down onto the counterpane. She sat down beside him, putting a tentative hand on his shoulder. He was still hyperventilating. ‘Maybe you should put your head between your knees.’

  Damn, why had she said anything? If she’d just kept her mouth shut, maybe he’d have put his head between her knees.

  ‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe that I – you won’t tell David, will you?’

  ‘No, I won’t. Besides, what would I tell him? I don’t even know who you are.’

  ‘You could find out.’

  ‘I won’t even try, I promise.’

  ‘Well, you could still tell him Katie’s having an affair.’

  ‘I won’t. I’m not even friends with David really.’

  ‘Thank you.’ His body relaxed a little and his breathing calmed.

  ‘So … that’s why you were staring at me – because you thought I was Katie. And why you …’ she trailed off, nodding to the door.

  ‘Um … yeah. I’m so sorry about that. I don’t usually go around attacking women I don’t even know.’

  ‘You only attack the ones you do know? You’re a real prince.’

  He laughed. ‘Actually I’m a lord – a dark lord.’

  ‘Anyway, you thought I was someone else. It was an honest mistake.’ She was painfully aware that she had no such excuse. Thankfully, he seemed to be too wrapped up in his own mortification and remorse for it to occur to him that she had been perfectly willing to let a total stranger fuck her up against a door.

  ‘Thanks for being so nice about it. And for not telling David. Or, you know, calling the cops on me.’

  ‘Well, I wasn’t exactly fighting you off.’ She was grateful for the mask to hide her blushes, but it wasn’t fair to let him go on beating himself up about it when she had been a willing participant. Besides, he had put his fingers inside her. If he thought about it for a second, he’d realise how up for it she had been. ‘No harm done,’ she said brightly. Except for giving me a hell of an itch that you’re now not going to scratch.

  ‘It’s all David’s fault really for insisting on these stupid masks.’

  ‘Yeah,’ she said, laughing. ‘Let’s blame David. So, what made you think I was Katie?’

  ‘She told me she was going to be dressed as Little Red Riding Hood,’ he said. ‘Great costume, by the way.’

  ‘Thanks. I made it myself.’

  ‘You made it? Wow! Well, I saw you dressed like that, and you’re about the same height and build as Katie. Though her hair is a little shorter, I guess, now that I see you up close …’

  ‘And non-existent in places, obviously,’ Romy said. ‘But, of course, you couldn’t tell that from across the room and through my clothes.’

  ‘Oh, Jesus,’ he groaned, clutching his head in his hands. ‘I’m so sorry about that. And about commenting on … you know …’

  ‘That’s okay,’ she said, finding his discomfiture amusing. ‘At least you were complimentary about it.’

  ‘Yeah, phew! Because otherwise, you know, this could have been really embarrassing!’

  Romy laughed.

  ‘God, you must have thought I was a total weirdo – staring at you all night, and then dragging you up here and pawing you like that.’

  ‘How long have you two been …’

  ‘A couple of years, I suppose,’ he said, shrugging, ‘off and on. It’s just casual, nothing serious. I’m not here much, but whenever I’m in Dublin we … get together.’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘David’s a tosser, you know,’ he said defensively.

  ‘Yes,’ she nodded. ‘I do know.’

  ‘Anyway, it’s over now. They’re going to Canada soon.’

  ‘So tonight was to be your last hurrah?’

  ‘Yeah, something like that.’

  ‘Sorry I messed that up for you.’

  ‘That’s okay. I wasn’t going to come here tonight, to be honest. I didn’t really want to do it in their house
, right under her husband’s nose. It seemed too … disrespectful.’

  ‘Unlike doing it behind his back?’

  He laughed. ‘Yeah, you got me.’

  ‘Sorry, I don’t mean to be judgemental.’

  ‘No, you’re right. Anyway, Katie got really upset when I said I wasn’t going to come, so at the last minute I decided, what the hell, I’d surprise her.’

  ‘Well, maybe you should go and find her now. It sounds like you had quite a treat planned.’

  ‘No, the moment has passed. I think I’ve had enough excitement for one night. Besides, what if I got it wrong again? My next victim might not be so understanding.’

  ‘Well,’ she said, getting up off the bed and smoothing down her skirt, ‘I suppose I should go.’

  ‘Yeah, you probably want to get back to the party.’

  ‘Not really. I was leaving, actually, when you – when I bumped into you.’ She didn’t want to go back to the party, but she didn’t want to leave either and go home alone to her flat. She was quite happy here with this very tall, very dark stranger.

  ‘Why don’t you stay here and talk to me, then?’ he said.

  ‘I shouldn’t,’ she said automatically.

  ‘What’s the matter? Afraid I’ll eat you all up?’

  ‘Hey, I may be Red Riding Hood, but you’re no wolf.’

  ‘Maybe I am. How do you know what I am under this costume?’

  ‘A wolf in Darth Vader clothing? I don’t think so.’

  ‘Then stay,’ he said, taking her hand and pulling her back down on the bed beside him.

  ‘What could we talk about? You can’t say anything that would give me a clue about who you are.’

  ‘Right. So nothing about jobs – or where we live.’

  ‘Or anything about our families or where we went to school. Or how we know David.’

  ‘Doesn’t leave much, does it?’ he said.

  ‘Only the big stuff.’

  He was silent for a while. ‘So,’ he said eventually, ‘um … do you believe in God?’

  ‘No. Do you?’

  ‘No … I don’t think so. I mean, sometimes when there’s something I really, really want to happen I think, Please God. Does that count?’