Frisky Business

by Clodagh Murphy

  ‘Huh!’ Kit said, pouting. ‘Where do you get off practising your bedside manner on my girlfriend?’

  Oh God, Romy thought guiltily, had she just been flirting with Ethan?

  She couldn’t do that. She was supposed to be starting to clock in as Kit’s girlfriend. She had to try and remember that. She couldn’t flirt with his brother right in front of him.

  Just then Mr Masterson came back in. ‘Ethan, you got back,’ he said, as casually as though Ethan had just been away for the weekend.

  ‘Hi, Dad,’ Ethan said, smiling as his father ruffled his hair affectionately, as if he was five years old.

  ‘Everything’s packed up, ready to go,’ Colm said to Kit.

  ‘Thanks, Dad. I guess we’d better get going,’ Kit said to Romy as he stood.

  ‘Okay,’ Romy joined him. ‘It was lovely to see you all again.’

  ‘You too, honey,’ Laura said to her. ‘And hopefully we’ll see you again tomorrow for Thanksgiving.’

  Seeing Ethan had taken Romy’s mind off everything she had discovered in Kit’s room, but as soon as she sat into the van with him it all came flooding back. She put the key in the ignition, but didn’t start the engine, turning instead to Kit.

  ‘You were over here last Hallowe’en, weren’t you?’ she asked him.

  ‘Yeah, I was over for Dad’s sixtieth around then.’

  ‘You didn’t … you weren’t by any chance at David Kinsella’s party, were you?’

  He gave her an odd look. ‘Why do you ask that?’ He frowned.

  She shrugged. ‘Just … curious.’ She had expected him to just say that he hadn’t been there. Instead he was acting shifty – almost as if he had something to hide. ‘So … were you?’

  ‘Um … yeah, I was, actually.’

  ‘Really?’ she gasped, her heart hammering. ‘So was I.’

  ‘Oh. Pity we didn’t bump into each other.’

  ‘Well … maybe we did,’ she said breathlessly. ‘I met someone … it was dark and I never saw his face, but …’ Kit’s eyes widened. He looked startled, panicked almost.

  ‘I was dressed as Little Red Riding Hood.’

  ‘Oh, Christ!’ Kit hung his head. ‘That was you?’

  Romy nodded. She couldn’t find the breath to speak.

  ‘Oh, God – I didn’t know.’

  ‘Well, how could you? The masks …’

  ‘God, I’m so sorry – about what happened. I don’t usually—’

  ‘I know,’ she nodded. ‘Me neither.’

  ‘Honestly, I’ve never done that before—’

  ‘What?’ She frowned. ‘Sex?’

  ‘Well, obviously I’ve done that before,’ he stammered. ‘But not, you know, like that …’

  ‘No … well, it wasn’t exactly in the mainstream,’ she said with a giggle.

  He turned and gazed out the window. ‘Can we just … not talk about it?’ he gulped. ‘I just want to forget it ever happened.’

  ‘Oh … okay.’ God, he couldn’t even look at her. They would have to talk about it more at some stage, but she couldn’t

  pursue it right now – not when he was obviously so horrified by the whole thing! Anyway, she needed some time to get used to the idea herself and decide how she felt about it. Right now, she was too stunned to think straight.

  ‘I was really messed up that night. I mean, it’s no excuse, but—’

  ‘It’s okay,’ she said. ‘Don’t worry about it.’ Strange, she thought she was the one who was messed up that night – he had seemed very together and grounded. Her hands were shaking as she started up the engine.

  ‘Um, Romy?’ Kit turned to her. ‘Are you still coming to

  Hannah’s wedding with me?’

  ‘What?’ She spun around to look at him. ‘Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I?’

  ‘I just thought maybe you wouldn’t want to after …’ he trailed off.

  ‘Hey, it’s no big deal,’ she said, trying to give him a reassuring smile. But it was disconcerting that he was so freaked out about what had happened that night. How could she possibly bring the subject up again?

  She could hardly concentrate on driving, there were so many thoughts swirling around in her head. So Kit was Luke’s father. After all this time of wondering, suddenly she had the answer. But instead of bringing her closure, it just opened up all sorts of other dilemmas. How did she feel about it? How would he feel about it? And the hardest question of all – how in hell was she going to tell him?

  Chapter Eleven

  ‘So I take it you’ve agreed to be Kit’s fake girlfriend, then, since you’re off to have Thanksgiving dinner with his family?’ Lesley asked Romy on Thursday evening. She was sitting on Romy’s bed holding Luke, watching Romy put on her make-up.

  ‘Well, I said I’d go to his sister’s wedding with him as his girlfriend. He seems to be terrified of his matchmaking relations.’

  ‘We’ve all been there. Have you asked him if he was at David’s party?’

  ‘Yes.’ Romy leaned closer to the mirror as she applied mascara. ‘And he was there.’ In the mirror she saw Lesley’s eyes widen.

  ‘And?’

  Romy sighed as she tossed the mascara onto the dressing-table and turned to face Lesley. ‘If I tell you something, can you keep it to yourself?’

  ‘If you asked Poirot that, he’d have a face on.’

  ‘Well, I’m not asking Poirot, I’m asking you. Not that you aren’t equally awesome,’ Romy added hastily.

  ‘Of course I can keep it to myself. If you watched more TV detectives, you’d know that discretion is the byword of the amateur sleuth.’

  ‘Okay. Well …’ Romy took a deep breath. ‘It was him. Kit is Luke’s father.’

  ‘Oh my God!’ Lesley gasped. For a moment, she just stared at Romy in wide-eyed, open-mouthed silence.

  ‘So you can … close your file or whatever,’ Romy said.

  ‘Pack up the incident nook.’

  ‘I told you!’ Lesley said, despite the fact that she couldn’t look more amazed. ‘But I can’t believe you’re being so cool about it.’

  ‘Believe me, I wasn’t when I first found out. I’ve had some time to think about it.’ She had thought of nothing else since yesterday and she had barely slept last night. But she had come to some conclusions. She had decided she was glad that it was Kit – someone she liked, someone she had loved once … someone she could possibly see herself having a relationship with. She wanted Luke to know his father, and if she got the chance, she would try to make a go of it with Kit. They liked each other, they got on well – she felt they could be happy. Besides, what were the chances of her meeting someone else when she had a baby in tow?

  ‘So what did he say when you told him?’

  ‘I haven’t told him … not yet.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Well … it’s not the easiest thing to just come out with.’

  ‘I guess not.’

  ‘Plus he seemed really freaked out about what happened that night.’ Romy bit her lip, remembering Kit’s reaction when they’d spoken about it. ‘It was like he felt really ashamed about it.’

  ‘Well, he was shagging a stranger in a cupboard. It probably wasn’t his finest hour.’

  ‘I suppose. And besides …’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Well, I want us to have a chance to get to know each other again first, you know? I mean, I’d like to know how Kit feels without this being a factor. Then if something happened between us …’

  Lesley perked up. ‘Do you think something’s going to happen?’ she asked eagerly.

  Romy smiled. ‘I think it’s possible. I’d like it to, for Luke’s sake. But if it does – I’d like to know that it’s real and he really wants to be with us, and he’s not just facing up to his responsibilities and doing right by me because he’s Luke’s father. I don’t want him to feel trapped.’

  ‘But you do intend to tell him eventually?’

  ‘Of course. I just want t
o give things a chance first. Once I know how he feels, I’ll tell him either way.’

  ‘But what about you? Do you want to be with Kit for his sake or because he’s Luke’s father?’

  Romy shrugged. ‘I honestly don’t know. The waters are already muddied for me. But I want to try, for Luke’s sake. We like each other a lot, so that’s a start. And he’s attractive …’

  ‘So, maybe your fake boyfriend will turn into the real thing,’ Lesley said. ‘You can fake it till you make it.’

  ‘That’s sort of what I was thinking.’ Romy smiled at her.

  ‘But are you sure you want to make it?’ Lesley asked, her face falling. ‘What about all the BDSM stuff?’

  ‘We don’t even know he’s into that. You’ve built it up in your head based on a few random remarks. Although …’ she bit her lip.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Well, I did find something in his room yesterday that kind of

  made me wonder.’

  ‘What? God, don’t make me shine a light in your eyes.’ Romy sighed. ‘I found a butt plug.’

  ‘Oh my God!’ Lesley gasped, her eyes wide. ‘Well, there you are, then.’

  ‘Well, I thought that at first, but now I’m not so sure that’s what it means.’

  ‘Oh, come on. What more proof do you need? You had the evidence right there in your hands. Wait – you didn’t actually have it in your hands, did you?’ Lesley asked, screwing her face up.

  ‘Eew! No!’

  ‘I mean it’s not like you don’t know where it’s been.’

  ‘If only! No, it was in a box.’

  ‘That will have made a nice change for it,’ Lesley said, and they laughed.

  ‘But I’ve been thinking about it,’ Romy said, ‘and lots of people have anal sex, don’t they? It doesn’t mean he has to be an out-and-out kinkster.’

  ‘I suppose,’ Lesley conceded reluctantly.

  ‘He might just have tried it once or twice. We’ve no evidence he even tried it at all. Maybe he bought that thing and never used it. It was still in the box. Or it could have been a joke gift from a stag party or something.’ The more she thought about it, the more convinced she was that there could be a perfectly innocent explanation for Kit owning a butt plug that didn’t involve him being into a BDSM lifestyle. Well, maybe innocent wasn’t the right word …

  ‘Hmm,’ Lesley said thoughtfully, sounding unconvinced. ‘The thing is, though, lots of people have anal sex, but they don’t think of themselves as a community, do they?’

  ‘I guess not.’

  ‘It’s not like you join a club or something. It isn’t a whole way of life. I mean do they even have a group on Facebook?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Although that’s worth looking into,’ Lesley gasped, struck by her own brilliance. ‘You should look at Kit’s Facebook, see if he’s in any weird groups.’

  ‘Maybe.’ Romy turned back to the mirror to put on her earrings.

  ‘And what if you find out that he is into BDSM? What will you do?’

  ‘I can cross that bridge when I come to it – if I come to it. For now, I’m just going for a wholesome Thanksgiving dinner with his family.’

  ‘Doris Day would be proud of you.’

  ‘I know,’ Romy said, turning around and beaming delightedly. Doris Day was her heroine. She went over to the bed and sat on the other side to Lesley, laying back against the headboard with Luke between them, and started tickling him, making him giggle. Then she bent her head and blew raspberries on his belly until he was a wriggling, gurgling ball. ‘I don’t need any other guy when I’ve got you,’ she said to him, holding his tiny soft hands and peppering his face with butterfly kisses, loving his toothless smile, the adoring way his eyes fixed on her like she was the only person in the world. She could stay here and gaze at him all night. Who would have thought that just looking at someone, watching him sleep, touching his velvety skin could make you so happy and fulfilled? He really was very like Kit, she thought, as she gazed down at him. It was so glaringly obvious, she couldn’t believe she hadn’t seen it before.

  ‘At least you have a boyfriend, even if he is fake,’ Lesley said, breaking into her reverie. ‘It’s so unfair. All the effort I put into dating, and I have nothing better to do than babysit on Thanksgiving, when everyone else is out gallivanting.’

  ‘Hardly,’ Romy said. ‘It’s not really Thanksgiving, and even if it was, it’s not exactly a major holiday in Ireland. And it’s a family dinner, not a date.’

  ‘So who else will be there, apart from Kit and his parents?’

  ‘His sister Hannah – and presumably her boyfriend.’ Romy sat up again. ‘As they’re getting married in a few weeks. And his younger brother, Ethan. He’s just got back from Haiti. He works for Médecins Sans Frontières.’

  ‘Ooh, what’s all this?’ Lesley said, perking up.

  ‘What?’

  ‘This brother – Ethan. Why are you telling me about him all of a sudden?’

  ‘It’s not all of a sudden. You asked me who was going to be there – I’m just telling you.’

  ‘Yes, but you said it in that mention-y way, trying to be casual. And you should see your face. You look all goofy and smitten.’

  ‘Don’t be daft.’

  ‘You like him, don’t you?’

  ‘No,’ Romy said, frowning, but still hardly able to wipe the smile off her face. ‘Don’t be silly. I don’t even know him.’

  ‘Oh, come on! You don’t have to know someone to fancy the pants off them. You don’t know Bradley Cooper. Doesn’t stop him turning up in your fantasies, though, does it?’

  ‘Well, Bradley Cooper is one thing. Ethan is …’ she paused, ‘way sexier actually,’ she said with a confiding grin.

  ‘Oh my God! I knew it!’

  ‘He’s absolutely gorgeous, okay? Sex on legs. Satisfied?’

  ‘Hardly. I’ll be satisfied when you tell me you’re going to do something about it.’

  ‘You’re going to be frustrated, then, because that’s not going to happen.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Well, for starters, he’s my fake boyfriend’s brother – not to mention Luke’s uncle.’

  ‘Oh yeah. That could be awkward.’

  ‘And besides, I told you – he’s knicker-droppingly gorgeous. Totally out of my league.’

  ‘Hey, don’t put yourself down.’

  ‘I’m not. I’m just being realistic. People get together with people of the same level of attractiveness – they’ve done studies. Ethan’s just on a different level to me. I know I’m attractive enough, but I’m no supermodel. And Ethan could get a supermodel.’

  ‘I’m sure there are exceptions.’

  ‘He’s too young for me anyway,’ Romy said.

  ‘How old is he?’

  ‘I guess he’d be … twenty-six, twenty-seven?’

  ‘Well, that’s not a huge age difference – four or five years. It doesn’t exactly make you Demi Moore to his Ashton Kutcher.’

  ‘It’s not a big age gap now, but it is when you’re sixteen. I guess in my head he’s still this kid who plays Nintendo and giggles when someone farts.’

  ‘I know some men in their thirties who still think farting is hilarious,’ Lesley huffed.

  ‘Anyway, he’s out of bounds, and that’s the end of it,’ Romy said. ‘I can’t be unfaithful to the father of my child with his own brother.’

  ‘It does sound like a bad soap opera.’

  ‘So, do you have any plans for the weekend?’ Romy asked, changing the subject. ‘Any dates lined up?’

  ‘Ugh, no. I’m taking the weekend off – just couldn’t face it. It’s like going to endless interviews and never getting the job – not only not getting the job, but discovering you don’t even want the job when you get there.’

  ‘Well, come over tomorrow night, then. We’ll have a spinsters’ night in. Danny’s coming too. He needs cheering up.’

  ‘Here’s a tip. Inducting him
into your spinsters’ club might not be the best way to cheer him up.’

  ‘It’ll be fun.’

  ‘I know it will. Believe me, it’ll be a whole world more fun than going on another bloody date with some wanker from that website.’

  Just then the intercom buzzed. ‘That’ll be Kit with the cab,’ Romy said, standing up and smoothing down her dress. ‘Be good for your Auntie Lesley,’ she said, bending to kiss Luke. ‘Have fun,’ she said to Lesley.

  ‘Oh, I will. This guy is the best date I’ve had in ages,’ she said, picking Luke up and following Romy into the living room.

  ‘Bye,’ Romy said, giving Luke another kiss on the forehead, breathing in the delicious baby smell of him, before grabbing her coat and heading for the door.

  ‘Happy Thanksgiving!’ Lesley called after her.

  ‘Wow, you look great,’ Kit sad when they were in the cab.

  ‘Thanks.’ Romy felt very nervous as the taxi pulled off and she was alone with Kit. She hadn’t seen him properly since they had talked about what happened at David’s party, and she felt awkward with him now. She looked at him wonderingly, trying to get her head around the idea that they had had sex, that he was Luke’s father, but it all just seemed too amazing and unreal.

  ‘So – ready for your first official outing as my girlfriend?’ Kit asked her.

  ‘We’re on now, are we?’

  ‘Well, I thought we should have a bit of a lead-up before the wedding – get everyone used to the idea.’

  ‘Don’t you think it’s a bit sudden?’

  ‘You swept me off my feet,’ he said, grinning and putting an arm around her. ‘What could I do?’

  She smiled, snuggling into him as he pulled her closer, breathing in the sharp, citrusy tang of his aftershave.

  ‘Won’t your parents think it’s a bit strange, though?’

  ‘Not at all. They always thought I was crazy to let you get away. And maybe they were right.’

  ‘And will they approve of you going out with a single mum?’

  ‘Honestly, Mom will be thrilled. She’s dying to be a grandmother, and this is about as close as she’s going to come for quite a while. It’ll take the heat off me – and the rest of us.’