by Karin Baine
‘Why, thank you.’ He smoothed his hair back with his hand, feigning an arrogance she now knew wasn’t the real Jamie.
‘You’re handsome, single, with a medical career. Why wouldn’t women find you attractive?’ Despite trying to be casual, she felt her cheeks burning with the heat of the admission she was one of those women.
‘Wow. So many compliments tonight. You’ll make me blush.’
It was Kayla who was blushing furiously as he teased her. She tried to play it cool with a roll of the eyes. ‘I’m serious. Are you telling me you haven’t had your fair share of advances from smitten women over the years?’
‘I didn’t say that.’
Was it her imagination or were his cheeks a little pinker than usual? Kayla experienced a twinge of jealousy imagining a string of gorgeous women chatting up the father of her baby. It was possible this living together and raising a child had fostered the idea in her head that they were in some sort of fantasy relationship when, really, circumstances had forced them together. There was no reason she should have any claim on him when he wouldn’t be within a hundred miles of her if not for their son.
‘Yet you never sought to get married and have a family of your own. Why now?’
‘When Tom was growing up I didn’t want him to take second place the way we had when our dad was alive. I was dating someone, Natalie, but I didn’t have the time or energy to commit long-term. Inevitably she got hurt when she realised marriage wasn’t on the cards even though we weren’t more than kids ourselves. Since then I’ve found a brief dalliance here and there avoids the drama. I wasn’t a monk, but for a while there I was going through some sort of delayed adolescence. The one I missed out on.’
It was a heartfelt admission on Jamie’s part that he had been the playboy she’d suspected, at least for a while. The important question on Kayla’s mind now was which Jamie she was currently shacked up with, because there was only one of those characters she was interested in having around.
‘So, you’re back in parenting mode...but what happens when you do meet the woman of your dreams? Will Luke remain your top priority?’ She didn’t want her son to suffer for the sake of his father’s libido should he lapse back into his Lothario alter ego, or if he started a new family with a woman he truly loved.
‘I have no plans for any more children,’ he answered with a lopsided smile. ‘Even if I did, I can promise you Luke will always be my number one.’ He said it with such sincerity and conviction she believed it. Whilst she was glad for Luke’s sake he would always have his father, she was heart-sore that there was no mention of her in his priorities. She wasn’t his partner in a romantic way but, as co-parent, she would still be part of his life in some form. Whilst it didn’t seem relevant to him, she was already coming to terms with having him around. She’d miss him if he suddenly met someone else and relegated his parenting duties to unsupervised weekend visits.
‘I’m kinda getting used to having you around,’ she confessed, in case he was still in any doubt about that.
‘Good.’ He held her gaze a fraction too long until the hairs on the back of her neck began to stand to attention, her body flirting with the idea his interest in her might go beyond their mutual offspring after all.
She glanced away first, her imagination doing nothing to make her life any easier. Jamie might not seek to control her, but neither was she going to let emotions or desire dictate her actions.
‘I’ll take these away—’
‘Why don’t I tidy these up—?’
They both reached for the discarded takeaway cartons on the table at the same time. Their hands accidentally grabbed one another but it was some time before either let go. Kayla’s heart skittered in her chest, barely taking the time to fully form each beat. How desperate it would make her appear for affection if she turned into a Regency era heroine who swooned at the mere touch of a man’s hand.
‘Be my guest. I think I’ll go on to bed. Don’t worry about waiting up. I’ll take the first shift with Luke and you can get some sleep.’ Somewhere that wasn’t her bedroom. A place where she wouldn’t be sleeping any time soon.
‘If you insist. It has been a long day.’ He didn’t argue the way he usually did, always elevating her need for rest above his. Perhaps he was keen to get away before she did make a scene and embarrass herself.
Kayla didn’t hang around to dissect her reaction to him any further. Instead she peeped in on Luke, who was still sleeping soundly, and retrieved her nightdress from under her pillow. She disappeared into the bathroom to change into the strappy, satin nightgown she’d taken to wearing instead of her mumsy nightdress. It was cooler and made her feel more like a woman than a mere baby machine. She almost convinced herself it was nothing to do with how she looked to Jamie as she brushed her hair in the mirror until it shone.
Teeth brushed, and with her recently removed clothes in her arms, she opened the bathroom door and ran straight into Jamie. A bare-chested Jamie, clad only in boxers.
Her carefully folded pile of laundry tumbled to the floor as she came face-to-pecs with his smooth, taut, hypnotic torso.
‘Sorry, I didn’t realise you were in there.’ He seemed genuinely surprised to run into her, but he didn’t step back to let her past. His eyes travelled over her bare shoulders, assessing her new look, and when his gaze dipped down into the V of her black chemise Kayla was powerless to disguise her reaction this time. Her nipples hardened into tight buds, swollen against the silky fabric and garnering further attention.
‘I’m finished now. It’s bedtime. For me, I mean.’ By spelling out the sleeping arrangements she’d simply guided him to where her own thoughts were headed.
‘Well, goodnight, then.’ As though it were a nightly tradition, Jamie dipped his head to place a kiss on her lips. Kayla stood up on her tiptoes, keen to receive it.
Eyes closed, she revelled in the slight brush of his mouth against hers. It reminded her of those gentle kisses of reassurance she’d enjoyed in her dreams, night after night.
‘Night,’ she said when it ended, forced to open her eyes and come back down to earth.
Jamie didn’t move, his eyes still trained on her mouth and the atmosphere between them crackled with awareness and desire. She was frozen to the spot under his hungry eyes and her need for more than those few seconds of his touch. There was a fleeting compulsion to reach out and pull him down for an encore, but she resisted in case it jeopardised their current non-warring status.
She let her hand fall to her side. It would be more useful lifting her discarded clothes from the floor. ‘I suppose I should really pick those up,’ she said, staring up at his mouth and marvelling at the way it fitted so perfectly around hers.
‘Yeah,’ he said, ‘you really should.’ Then he wrapped an arm around her waist and yanked her towards him, knocking her off her feet.
His mouth was hard on hers this time, punishing her for this inconvenient attraction, yet demanding more of her. Kayla heard a satisfied sigh escape her lips as her body melted onto his, leaving him to support them both. The flat of her hand was braced against his chest, so hard and warm beneath her fingertips she shuddered with the solid contact. Jamie’s response was to pull her closer, his hand sliding up and down the small of her back and sending darts of desire everywhere he touched.
Kayla clung to his shoulders with both hands to keep her upright as he deepened the kiss. He lashed his tongue around hers, fighting for dominance when she was happy to surrender to his will on this one occasion. Every part of her was aching with need for him, especially when she could feel his body’s rock-hard confirmation he wanted her too.
‘You’ve just had a baby,’ Jamie rasped, his throat sounding as raw as hers felt holding back emotions she was afraid to unleash in the heat of his kiss.
‘Your baby.’ It almost seemed unbelievable now when they were just getting to know each other
that she’d already borne him a child. If she’d had any hint of this passion available to her they might well have conceived the easy way.
Despite their obvious chemistry, she couldn’t completely block out that ingrained instinct telling her to be wary of letting her guard down. Nothing had changed in her head simply because Jamie had kissed her; relationships were still going to be a problem for someone who had difficulty trusting a partner. The one she already had with him as Luke’s father wasn’t something she could afford to mess up. It was more important for her son to have a dad than it was for her to have some ill-fated affair with the nearest man available to her. Even if she wasn’t still recovering from the birth, she knew this couldn’t go any further.
The sound of Luke’s cries from across the hall interrupted Jamie’s path as he moved his lips across the edge of her jaw. He stopped just before he kissed that sweet spot behind her ear that made her knees buckle with the right man. Physically, Jamie Garrett felt very much like the right man, but no such being could possibly exist for Kayla in real life.
‘I should go and feed him.’ Her body was for sustaining her baby now, not feeding her need for intimacy.
* * *
Jamie took a step back, putting some much-needed distance between them. He fought to get his breathing, and the rest of his body, back under control. It wasn’t easy when she was standing in front of him with kiss-swollen lips, the strap of her nightdress falling down to expose her soft, pale skin and looking thoroughly ravished.
The signs had been there for a while that something was fizzing between them. Lingering looks, that personality clash gradually turning into mutual respect, and lying in bed together watching their son sleep had all been building up to that kiss. It hadn’t disappointed. That release of finally satisfying his craving was short-lived. Now he’d tasted her full lips, had her soft flesh moulded around his body, he wanted more. All of her. Walking away now was like trying to stuff a cork back into a still-fizzing bottle of champagne, yet he knew he had to. Neither her body nor her soul were ready for that. He wasn’t sure he was.
After Natalie he swore he’d never lead another woman on believing there was something more to their relationship than he was willing to give. It was Kayla’s strength that drew him. That stubborn streak that said she didn’t need him was intoxicating to a commitment-phobe. Yet, getting involved with his son’s mother would be the ultimate lifetime commitment. Something he just couldn’t give.
‘Give me a shout when you want me to take over.’ Although Jamie didn’t want her to bear the brunt of the childcare and sleepless nights, he might make an exception tonight. He needed time to process what had just happened and why he’d instigated that kiss. The spontaneous passion they’d just submitted to wasn’t something easily dismissed or forgotten.
After everything she’d gone through he didn’t want to betray the trust Kayla was already putting in him by letting him stay here in the house. He’d never been in the market for a family and although he now had a son, he couldn’t promise her for ever. That was what it would take for a woman like Kayla, who’d been taken advantage of too often. She needed support, not someone else using her for what she could give him. Kayla wanted to be the best mother she could for Luke and he didn’t want to get in the way of that.
Jamie had been doing things on his own for too long to suddenly have to share his world with someone new. He was just trying to get his head around being a father and all the responsibility and disruption that entailed. There was no way he could be a partner, a boyfriend, or whoever Kayla needed to help her move past those trust issues created by her parents.
Not when he had his own to deal with.
CHAPTER EIGHT
KAYLA YAWNED AND STRETCHED. She actually felt as though she’d had a proper night’s sleep. The first since Luke had been born. A glance at the clock told her it was seven-thirty a.m. That was a lie-in as far as she was concerned. He’d slept better too, his body clock seeming to adjust since he’d taken fewer feeds through the night.
It was like waking up on a bright summer’s day even though she’d yet to open the curtains. Not only was she rested but, thanks to Jamie, her dreams had been full of stolen kisses and passionate embraces. She was definitely starting the day on a high.
Even though they’d both probably come to realise they’d made a mistake, the memory of that one erotic moment would put her in a good mood for the rest of the day.
He’d been so good to her and Luke, she daredn’t jeopardise that by getting carried away by one kiss. It was probably the longest he’d gone without female company of the intimate kind and he’d merely wanted to make sure fatherhood hadn’t killed his pulling power. Certainly not with her anyway.
She coupled the lazy smile on her face with another stretch. Jamie must’ve taken Luke downstairs again so as not disturb her. Now she’d stopped searching for ulterior motives in his every action she could see how thoughtful he was.
Lying on her back, staring at the ceiling, she wondered if she was supposed to lie here until her assistance was required with the baby. Perhaps he intended to surprise her with breakfast in bed. She rolled over onto her side, ready for a second sleep when she heard fidgeting in the room, followed by a baby grizzling.
‘Luke?’ Sure enough when she peeked over the side of the bed into his Moses basket he was just beginning to stir. ‘Time to get up, lazybones. I wonder if Daddy’s slept in this morning too?’
Luke gazed up at her with familiar big eyes. ‘You look just like your daddy. Don’t tell him I said it, but you’ll have the girls queuing up at your door when you’re older.’
She scooped him up, cherishing this quiet moment, both contented to be where they were. There was only one thing missing from this family scene. ‘Why don’t we go and see if Daddy’s up yet?’
Jamie was always keen to help bath Luke and two pairs of hands were always better than one.
‘Jamie? Are you up yet?’ With Luke cradled in one arm, she knocked on his bedroom door. When there was no reply she eased the door open, but the bed had already been made and the curtains opened.
‘He must be downstairs. We’ll sneak down and surprise him.’ She rubbed Luke’s nose with hers. This was what mornings were for, long lie-ins and playing with their son.
She tiptoed down the stairs, careful to avoid that one step that squeaked near the bottom and might give her away. It was starting to feel like a family home again and she couldn’t wait until Luke was old enough for them to play hide and seek properly.
Suddenly, the thought of him being able to play those carefree childhood games that had been unavailable to her under her parents’ roof now held so much significance. They’d hated noise. When she and Liam had been permitted to play, they’d had to do so under the threat of violence in case they were too loud. Although her brother had constantly challenged their rules and rebelled against the strict regime, Kayla had always tried to be on her best behaviour, afraid to upset them. It had taken moving to a different country to break that pattern and she didn’t want another generation of her family to be tainted by messed-up parents.
Whatever happened with her and Jamie, she wanted her son to be happy, to have fun and, most of all, feel safe in his own home. There was no reason why she couldn’t start doing that for him from now. Once they were fed and dressed it was time to go out and have some fun.
‘Jamie, why don’t we take Luke out for a walk in the pram?’ She wandered into the kitchen, convinced his silence would be explained once she found him tucking into breakfast there.
Except the kitchen was empty. There wasn’t as much as a dirty dish left as evidence he’d been there. She walked over and touched the kettle. It was cold. This was beginning to feel as if she were living in a mystery novel. Then she saw a note stuck to the fridge using the blue dragonfly magnet Liam had made for her out of polymer clay, holding it in place.
Didn’t
want to wake you two sleeping beauties!
Gone to work to catch up on some paperwork.
See you later, J
A stone dropped into Kayla’s stomach. So much for her happy family day out. Jamie had sneaked back to work without a word. Not even a kiss on the note. As if last night had never happened. Perhaps that was why he’d gone this morning before she’d had a chance to see him. He regretted it.
Kayla knew anything more than being Luke’s parents was probably a bad idea, but she didn’t regret the kiss when it had been so amazing, so real. If it was going to change things between them she needed to know now for Luke’s sake as well as her own. They couldn’t provide a safe, loving home for their son if his father kept avoiding his mother over one lust-fuelled misadventure. She didn’t want either of them to live with that sort of uncertainty and refused to be emotionally manipulated by anyone again, no matter how unintentional.
‘Well, little man, it looks as though it’s just you and me. If Daddy doesn’t want to spend the day with us, it’s his loss.’
* * *
‘Everything looks great. You have a very strong boy here. Absolutely nothing to worry about, Mrs Hills.’ Jamie put the baby’s nappy back on as soon as he was able to after giving him a thorough check-over. He knew all too well what could happen when his son had christened most of his shirts during changes.
‘Thanks, Doctor.’ Ellie, the health visitor at the clinic, lifted the clothes they’d stripped off the baby earlier and attempted to take over.
‘It’s fine, I can get him dressed. I’ve had plenty of practice lately.’ He didn’t have anything else to do anyway. The staff had been shocked to see him this morning and, since there was a locum in situ in his office, he was surplus to requirements. With the baby clinic on this morning he’d volunteered his services to Ellie rather than return home.
He was being a coward, he knew it, but he’d needed to get out of that house and that world he and Kayla had built for themselves there. It wasn’t real life. As demonstrated last night with his unprompted make-out session with Kayla. It didn’t matter she’d apparently been holding back too, given her equally animalistic response to the kiss. This morning he’d made the decision to come into the surgery and back to some semblance of normality. He and Kayla had been living on top of each other taking care of Luke, and he was worried it was clouding his judgement. They’d become each other’s world and that was possibly why they’d suddenly acted on that attraction that had been there since the wedding. Neither of them was in the right place for a serious relationship and that was the only type available to them now they were parents. A fling would make things awkward when it ended, and they still had to make decisions and time together for their son.