I laughed out loud and took her hand again. She was right, as usual. "Maybe not so different from yours," I shook my head. "I wanted to put my baby inside you the right way from the first time we met." I pulled her along beside me, letting the waves lap up against our bare feet. "A man's drive to father a child is no less powerful than a woman's need to carry one. It's just easier to forget that…"
She laughed too, and suddenly things seemed easier between us. "The agreement will keep us on track," she said softly. Confidently. "And now we've gotten our primal urges out of our systems…," she glanced at me from under her lashes, "maybe for the rest of the trip we should just stay focused on the baby…?"
"And stick to the contract…," I said. I lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. I rolled her emerald back and forth with my thumb, keeping her hand and holding her gaze. I knew she was right. That we could both have what we wanted, if we stayed on track…
"I think you're the strongest woman I've ever met, Libby. And certainly the wisest."
Also the most beautiful, inside and out, I thought to myself.
We looked out over the water in silence, watching darkening clouds building in the distance. It seemed like we would be fine… We were both very much on the same page. She was strong. She was wise. And I admired her more than any woman I'd ever know. She had focus and integrity. I couldn't have made a better choice than her.
We headed back to the house as the storm rolled in. And we went to our separate rooms. Fuck no, it wasn't easy. But when the time inevitably came to say goodbye to the woman I was falling in love with, well… maybe it would make things easier then.
26
Libby
I showered quickly and climbed into bed. For the first time since we'd arrived, I was aware of how alone we were on the island. Soft rumbles of thunder in the distance made my room seem even lonelier.
Jack was a good man. A finer man than I'd ever met in my life. It would have been so easy for him to exploit my all too obvious feelings for him. Not to mention the situation. This place was made for romance. For real couples… with real feelings…
There wasn't any point in denying it any longer. More and more, I'd been allowing myself to imagine what it would be like… A real marriage. A real family… But I didn't have the genetics for any of that. And Jack had made it clear he wanted only a baby. He was right. The last thing either of us needed were complications.
I let my hands explore my belly. "You're going to be the luckiest little girl," I whispered. "You have a daddy who loves you more than anything… He'll keep you so safe, and he'll make sure you're never sad or lonely…" I rolled onto my side and a tear ran down, soaking the pillow case. I imagined her sweet, innocent face. "And one day, he'll fall in love with a beautiful lady and she'll become your mother. She'll be kind and loving… the best mom in the whole world, Little Speck, because your daddy picked her.
And she'll never, never leave you…"
"What… oh… god!" I sat bolt upright in darkness as the deafening crash hit. Then the room flashed blindingly white with the next one. I climbed out of bed, struggling to close the enormous glass windows. Rain poured in sheets onto the wooden floors. I was drenched in seconds.
"Libby!" The lightning flashed again and I saw him in the doorway. Then I felt him wrap me in something dry and soft, and he pushed me behind him. "Get back from the windows."
I watched from the bed as he closed the shutters and, one by one, fastened the windows. The wind continued to blow, rattling them in their frames. By the time he was done, he was as wet as I was.
"You're all right?" he asked, coming over to me. "I heard you cry out… I thought maybe it was the baby…"
"I'm fine," I said, taking my damp towel and stroking his streaming hair. "We're fine. The thunder woke me, is all. I couldn't get the windows closed."
He headed for the bathroom and came back with dry towels and a pair of thick cotton robes. Another crash of thunder hit, the same instant as the flash. I jumped, clutching at the robe.
He stroked my hair and face, drying me off as well as he could. Then he toweled my legs one at a time. I could feel his thick fingertips grazing my sensitive flesh. He smiled as I jumped again.
"Thunderstorms have frightened me since I was little," I said, shrugging into the robe he held open for me. "It's the noise, I think. The way it sounds when it's so close… like the whole world is being torn to pieces. Like when it's all over, nothing's ever going to be the same."
His outline nodded, but I couldn't see his face. "What was it like, when you were a little girl, Libby? I know you grew up in foster homes…"
Something in me tightened at the question. I was quiet as he dried my feet, and then he took one in his hand, working the tiny muscles and bones gently with his fingers. "Do you know anything about your real parents… or if there was ever any other family out there?" His voice was so gentle and his hands kept moving…
"I never knew who my father was. And only that my mother gave me up when I was only a few months old." I sighed. "She cared enough to name me… and to give me this," I held up the gold locket and a tiny flash of light sparked off its surface. "There must not have been anyone else. No one who wanted to keep me…"
"Did you ever try to find out?" he asked gently, taking my other foot and kneading it slowly. "Did you ever want to know more?"
I was quiet again, thinking about what he'd asked me. I'd never liked talking about it, and I wasn't sure why I was now. It surprised me how natural it felt. "I never tried," I admitted. "It was enough to know she didn't want to raise me. Or that she felt that she couldn't… I had some foster parents who were good people. It just never lasted for very long."
"And you grew up stronger than most… more independent. More driven."
I smiled at the tone in his voice. "More talented too," I added lightly. "I like my life, Jack. I'm not complaining. And I like who I turned out to be."
"I do, too."
There was a bright flash of lightening and I braced for the thunder. I'd seen something on his face in that second… a look… a feeling… Something I couldn't place. But it was gone with the light and I felt him let go of my foot.
He dried himself in the darkness. I could see the outline of his body as he let his wet pajama bottoms drop. The thick chest and arms tapering to the delicious ropes of muscle that led downward from his hips… The artist in me itched to touch him, to run my fingers over him, to learn him by touch alone. He was like a sculpture… only flesh. Perfect. Beautiful. Real.
He slipped into his robe and tied it at the waist. Then he settled onto the bed, leaning back against the heavily carved headboard.
"Here," he said, reaching out for me. He took my hands and drew me up next to him. "Right here," he patted his chest and I slid in close. He wrapped one hand around me and pulled my head to his chest with the other. He left it there, stroking my hair until I relaxed against him. The storm outside was still raging, but my body calmed against his, and I listened to the slow and steady beat of his heart. He had no more questions, and I, no more answers. He just held me close until it was over and the storm had passed on by.
The last thought I had before I fell into a sound and dreamless sleep beside him, was that I'd never in my life felt so safe.
27
Jack
"I've got a surprise for you today." I smiled down at her as she rubbed her eyes. "It's something I thought you'd enjoy, since we're going to be here for a while…"
She uncurled from my chest and I shifted, allowing the blankets to conceal my rock-hard desire. So fucking help me, I'd been awake the better part of the night. Still, it felt so damned good just to hold her. I was determined not to make things harder for us both. But there was no arguing with the demands of my body. All I could do was keep that to myself.
"Come with me, I want to show you something," I said, taking her hand and pulling her along with me down the hall. At first she grumbled, still sleepy. But by the time we'd reached the
top of the staircase, she was fully awake… and curious. "Where are we going? Is this an attic…?"
I opened the door to a tiny room, windows on every side. It was an observation tower that looked out over the water in every direction. Light flooded in. Shelves contained all her supplies. The sculpture she'd begun at the lake house sat on a table in the very center.
"Oh, my god, Jack… You brought everything here?" She ran her hands over everything, as if to make sure it was real. "I can't believe you did this for me…"
"I know your art is what makes you happy, sweetheart." I came up beside her, my shoulder against hers. "I didn't want to keep you from what you love."
As badly as I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss her, I held back. I could feel the pull in her too, like magnetism. It was just as well for her to have something to pour her passion into. I just wished to hell it could be me…
"There's something else," I said, taking her hand and leading her back toward the stairs. "The clay can wait, but I'm afraid the other surprise won't."
"Well, I'm hoping it's pancakes," she said, following me down to the kitchen. "I'm starving, and I can hardly wait to get my hands on that sculpture again and…"
She was cut off by excited barks, a furiously wagging tail and the clatter of toenails on tile. Seven pounds of curly brown fur and soulful eyes flew toward us and Libby bent down to greet her. "Oh, sweetheart…! Oh my god, Jack… where did he… Is this the surprise?" She already had the puppy in her arms and was being covered in kisses. "Where did you come from? You sweet little baby…"
"Not a he," I said, smiling as the puppy squirmed. "A little girl for you. One of the house staff had one left in the litter. She's a mutt…" I reached out to caress a silky ear. "You don't have to keep her, but I thought you might like to meet…"
Libby looked at me and smiled a smile that melted straight through my heart. Her eyes were bright with moisture, sparkling…
"Look at her, Jack," she crooned. The puppy's ears perked at her voice. "How could I not want her? Can I keep her… can we take her back with us when we leave and keep her?"
I put my arms around her. "Of course, sweetheart. She's all yours, if you want her."
But Libby wasn't listening to me anymore. She was already down on the floor with the puppy, stroking her wiggly little belly. "Who's a beautiful baby girl?" She looked up at me. "Does she have a name?"
I smiled. It felt so fucking good, to see her so happy. "She's yours," I said. I think you should name her yourself."
She picked up the puppy and held her in her arms like a baby. Maybe she had worn herself out with excitement. Maybe it was the soothing effect of Libby's warmth. But she settled down quickly as Libby rocked her. In minutes, her big brown eyes had closed and a tip of pink tongue lolled to the side.
"Mokita," Libby said quietly and she smiled up at me. "I think her name is Mokita."
It had been a risk, but I was glad as hell that I'd taken it. Libby and the puppy had turned out to be inseparable. Moki had even followed her all the way up the stairs to the attic where Libby had settled in to work for the afternoon. I had some calls to make, and we'd arranged to have a swim and dinner on the beach in a few hours.
I'd wanted Libby to have something of her own. Something for her to care for. To love. The puppy had seemed perfect. And when the contract was fulfilled… well, she would have Moki to take with her. I couldn't bear the thought of Libby going away alone once the baby was born…
I took a beer from the fridge and headed out onto the covered veranda. Tomorrow was Monday and I knew Spencer would be faxing over the paperwork for the Warner deal. I punched in his numbers and got voicemail. I left a quick message and called Blake.
"Hey, how's married life?" His voice was bright, teasing. "You're one lucky fuck, you know that, Jack? When you married Elaine, I thought you just had shitty taste in women. You'll be happy to know Libby's redeemed my opinion of you."
"I'll be sure to tell her," I said dryly. "So is Janet ever going to make an honest man out of you?" The word honest snagged at my conscience. I was being dishonest with almost everyone I cared about. I had my reasons… but it made my stomach tighten anyway.
Blake laughed. "Whenever she'll let me," he admitted. "She's so focused on her career right now. I didn't get lucky the way you did… finding a woman who was ready to settle down right away."
I took another long swallow of beer. "Well, you're right there, brother." I ran a hand through unruly hair. "I got more fucking lucky than any man has a right to be…"
"But you still made it out of bed long enough to call me. Don't say it… You want to know if the merger is on track. India told me you would. She can read you like a book, you know."
I could hear her in the background, asking Blake for the phone. "Let me talk to him." She laughed and there were dull thumping sounds.
"Jack, it's me. How's Libby and the honeymoon?" India's voice was purposefully casual. I heard Blake's goodbye from a distance and the sound of a door closing. India's tone changed instantly.
"So… tell me. Did Libby take the test? Is she pregnant yet? How's the honeymoon going?"
"It's great, India. And we don't know yet, for sure. We'll do the test in a few more days. She didn't want to rush it and risk a false negative…"
"How's she feeling. I know she was pretty emotional before the wedding and her stomach was a little upset."
I thought back over the last couple of days. "She's fine. She certainly has a healthy appetite."
I asked a few questions on the merger. India said Spencer had been out of the office more than usual lately, but he'd had a lot of last minute meetings. She assured me that he had everything under control.
"Just relax and enjoy the island, Jack. We've got it covered here." She paused. "How are things between you and Libby… are the two of you getting along okay? It's got to be a little strange, being alone together on an island, without really being… well… you know."
I struggled for a moment, unsure how much to admit. "It's fine," I said plainly. "Libby's happy with her art. And the puppy I gave her this morning…," I paused.
"Did my lawyer finish gathering that other information I'd asked for? The other history…?" India knew what I meant. She'd known for a long time.
"It's in your desk. Unopened. I locked the drawer myself." She paused for a long moment, both of us in our own thoughts. "It could change a lot of things, Jack. Or maybe nothing… But you need to be sure about what you want. What it is you're hoping for…"
"We're fine, India. Both of us, just how things are. Libby and I had a good, long talk and we're on the same page… about everything. It's all going to turn out the way it's supposed to."
"I'm happy for you," she said softly. "It's all any of us ever wanted for you, you know. For you to be happy. To have what you really want most in life…" Her voice trailed off.
"I love you, Jack."
"Love you too, honey. Give Mom and Dad our best."
We hung up and I sat looking out over the water. My sister knew me like the back of her own hand. And I knew her just as well. A lifetime together made any conversation between us so much more than the words that were spoken. I knew what she was hoping would happen on this trip. And I knew it was what she'd wanted all along.
The only thing I wasn't sure of, was whether there was any point in telling her she'd been right from the start. That Libby was the woman for me. The one perfect woman I'd waited a lifetime for. And that it made no difference at all. She would bear my child. And then she'd leave.
As much as I wanted things to be different, there was nothing real between us. Nothing that would last. No matter what the lawyer might have discovered… Maybe there was nothing I could ever do… to make her stay.
28
Libby
I never thought I'd ever have a honeymoon. So I'd never wasted a lot of time daydreaming about what it would be like. But if I had… it would be this one.
My hands had worked in the clay
like they had minds of their own. I'd never felt so inspired and the form seemed to be taking shape as if it were guiding me, and not the other way around. When I finally washed my hands, I felt a deep and profound sense of satisfaction. And it was all because of Jack.
He'd changed my life in an instant, bringing me here, encouraging me in my work. Giving me this opportunity to fulfill my dreams. I covered the clay and the sound of the plastic sheeting woke Moki from where she was sleeping in the sun. My stomach was churning with excitement. While I'd worked, I'd made the decision. It was time. Jack had done so much for me. Now I wanted to do this for him…
"Come on, girl," I reached out and picked her up. She squirmed, licking my face. "Let's give Daddy a present, too."
I carried her downstairs and into my bedroom. She curled up contentedly on my bed and, from the look on her face, I had the distinct feeling that I might never get her to sleep in her own again. I pulled a little box out of the bottom of my handbag. It was a pregnancy test I'd bought on my own. I knew Jack had brought several, but I'd wanted one I could take on my own. Privately… just in case I wanted to know a little sooner.
"Here we go, Little Speck," I said softly. Moki lifted her head and cocked an ear. I sat down next to her, reading the directions on the test while she explored the box with her nose.
I was right on the edge of the recommended timeframe for testing. I should probably wait, like Jack and I had planned all along. But I so wanted to give him the good news he deserved…
I left Moki on the bed and, with test in hand, closed the bathroom door behind me.
"How are my two beautiful girls?" Jack called out. I held the puppy's leash while she gamboled unevenly on the sand. Jack was pouring sparkling water, the bamboo table was set for two. The sun was low in the sky, the light pink.
The Baby Contract Page 10