Big Strong Bear (Soldier Bears Book 3)

by Terry Bolryder

  What was she going to say?

  “The woman,” she choked out as tears sprang to her eyes. “Gosh darn it, why do I always get like this? I mean, it’s just something else, seeing someone with your mate when they’ve rejected you.”

  His heart went cold. He had no idea what she meant, but his defense mechanisms that had kept him going throughout the war were activating. “I seriously have no idea what you’re talking bout.”

  “She was tall. Blond. Gorgeous. Short hair, fit. Everything that would match with you, unlike me.”

  He wracked his brain. What the actual hell? “When did you see her?”

  “After I went away. After I said I wouldn’t come back.”

  He went quiet. There was only one possible answer. “You cannot be talking about Hera.”

  She blinked. “Who?”

  “Hera. She…” He felt anger run through him as he ran his hands through his hair, pacing the room. “Dammit, I don’t have time to address all of this. What were you doing, stalking me?”

  “What were you doing with another woman?”

  “Did you say you were done with me?” he asked, exasperated.

  “Obviously you weren’t done with me, since you came back later,” she spat back at him.

  He felt angry at himself and frustrated with the situation. It was all so obvious now, but why hadn’t he thought of it before?

  “She stayed at your house. For two weeks, at least. You hugged her. And you didn’t come back to me until she was gone.”

  Rage built inside him and exploded. Why hadn’t she just asked him before? Why hadn’t she given him a chance to explain? Was this why they had suffered for months? For nothing?

  “She came to check on me,” he burst out, trying to contain himself. “She’s a friend from my squad, and when I refused to let anyone in my house, Ares and Zeus called her for backup.”

  Cassie’s face was tight and impassive. On a deeper level, he knew it made sense. No bear would cope well with anyone near their mate, and she’d already had a hard time with him pushing her away.

  But dammit, he’d been having a hard time as well, and instead of trying to understand him, she just assumed the worst.

  “I can’t believe you thought that of me,” he said. “I thought you trusted me.”

  “You held her.”

  “She hugged me.”

  She was going paler, but still not relenting. Maybe she couldn’t accept just how messed up this was if she was wrong.

  But dammit, after years of loyalty, how could she just assume that about him?

  “I’ve never touched another woman sexually. Of course I’ve been around them. But I’ve never touched them.”

  Her eyes watered and she swiped at them. He wanted to go to her, comfort her, but he just couldn’t at this moment. Not when he felt like this. “Then why did you let her in? Why her and not me?”

  “Because I didn’t care,” he exploded. “I didn’t care if she saw my scars or how messed up I was or that I was burnt half to hell.” He backed up to the door and folded his arms, trying to stay calm. “But your opinion was everything. You kept knocking, always wanting to see me. You didn’t care if I was ready. You didn’t think about what I’d lost.”

  “It was all I was thinking about,” she cried. “You’re my mate. I wanted to be with you. Not just when you were better, but when you were struggling.” She hung her head. “You’re not the only one that feels possessive, Hades. I’m possessive of everything about you. Obviously, I’ve made a mistake, but you did too. By letting that woman in for so long.”

  “She just kicked my ass into gear and told me the scars were never going to heal and I should get back out there and go after you. If it wasn’t for her, I don’t know if I could have. But for all the good that did, she might as well have not bothered.” His eyes burned. “Obviously, you trust me to pleasure you and protect you, but that’s as far as it goes.”

  “This is why I didn’t want to talk about this,” she said, wrapping her hands around her knees. “There’s no way anyone wins here. Fine, so you didn’t cheat, if I believe you. But that’s how it looks, and maybe you should think about how you would feel in the same situation before you get all righteously angry on me.”

  Her blue eyes blazed at him, and he blazed right back. “Or maybe you should think about whether you even should have come for help from a man you apparently think so little of,” he snarled.

  She flinched but didn’t say anything. Instead, she folded her arms and looked away. “Don’t you have a plane to catch?”

  “Damn straight,” he growled. “As soon as possible.” Then he left her room and shut the door behind him.

  He slung his bag over his shoulder as he walked outside.

  He ignored Zeus and Carly as he walked out of the house toward his car.

  He made himself focus on the weapons he was going to grab when he got back to his house, right before he would go confront the assholes who’d threatened Carly. End this and get her out of here.

  Because given what she thought of him, she’d obviously never come to him hoping to rekindle what they had. A little part of him thought she did.

  But she thought he’d cheated.

  He’d never even thought to address the Hera thing. Not only because it was ridiculous, but because Carly had said she wouldn’t even be around. In another mood, he’d be pleased to know she stalked him.

  But right now, it just stung that his mate thought so little of him when he’d always though everything of her.

  Still, he’d take care of shit and then she could go back to her world if she wanted to. Obviously, she would. She’d never wanted a second chance after all. He’d wanted it. He’d pushed. He’d given her pleasure, hoping to soothe over any unknown wounds.

  But knowing what she’d thought all along, it was laughable to think it was ever going anywhere.

  He ignored Zeus’s wave and revved his Viper.

  Time to get shit done.

  * * *

  As soon as Hades was gone, Cassie felt awful. Once again, he’d been wonderful to her, and it ended badly.

  She’d finally found the courage to tell him what had been bothering her, but instead of apologizing, he’d simply been angry.

  Well, all she could say was that if he’d seen a male bear hanging out at her house while she wasn’t letting him inside, he’d have reacted much worse.

  Matter of fact, that male bear probably would have been dead.

  Still, that didn’t make anything better. Her skin was still warm from his touch. She was alive because he’d been there to save her, and she’d let him leave angry, due to her own stupid pride.

  She knew he’d been through a lot, but she had too. Being alone all those years while he was off doing goodness knew what. Losing her dad and the last of her family.

  Working her business and dealing with her loan.

  Looking over her life, she saw a pattern. She wasn’t good at dealing with conflict or asking for help. When things went wrong, she tended to hold it all inside.

  Of course, Hades was hurt now, knowing she could think that of him. Perhaps deep inside, a part of her knew it wasn’t possible. Perhaps that had been the part of her that urged her to go back to him for help. Maybe she’d wanted an excuse to start things up again, to find a way to forgive and heal the rift.

  But she’d done a shitty job of it.

  She had no doubt he’d deal easily with the loan sharks in their hometown. And then he’d be back and she’d have to figure out what to say to him. She frankly had no idea.

  She thumped the pillow and lay back, listening to the gentle laughter between Carly and Zeus. They were mates, even though they were human and bear, and they seemed to have everything together in a way she and Hades didn’t.

  It wasn’t fair.

  Yet she didn’t know what they’d gone through to get to this point, so she couldn’t say for sure it wasn’t fair. It was never a good idea to compare the best parts of someon
e else’s life to the worst of yours.

  So where to go from here? She had no real reason to be mad at him anymore, though as righteous indignation faded, shame took its place. Shame that she’d wasted their time over her own jealous insecurity.

  But she couldn’t do anything about that. She could only go from here. She got out of bed and paced the room. When he came back, everything would be different.

  He was justifiably hurt, and she’d do everything she could to show him she really did want him. She’d even wanted him when she thought the worst. She’d never been able to stop wanting him, and now that there was no reason to hate him, it was like a dam was breaking and her desire for him was bursting out, almost too strong to contain.

  She paced her room and started to plan, formulating exactly what she wanted to do to make things right when he got back.

  She just wanted to move past it all and be with him like they had been before. And when he returned, her loan sharks dealt with, there was no reason they couldn’t go forward from here.

  If she could forgive him for what she thought was cheating, then she just hoped he could forgive her for thinking he’d done it.

  But she wasn’t sure.

  10

  Hades stared tensely at the man across from him, not liking anything about him.

  It had been surprisingly easy to get in to see Richard Morgan. The man was exactly what he’d expected. Smooth in that sociopath way where a man can be completely average and handsome and blend in anywhere yet hold a blank, true evil in his eyes.

  Hades was glad that after this, the man would be out of Cassie’s life for good.

  What Hades would do with her after that he didn’t know. He was focused on the matter at hand. But whenever he wasn’t, he could sense his anger deflating like a pricked balloon. He just couldn’t stay mad at her.

  Maybe what was bothering him more was the fact that he was starting to feel guilty. For how jealous he would have been if he were in her situation. He would have reacted a lot worse; that was for sure.

  He pulled a checkbook out of his pocket and clicked his pen, ready to write. “So what’s the total?”

  Richard stretched in his chair awkwardly, but there was a shrewd look in his eyes. “See, I’m not sure if you know this, but at our agency, we insist the clients pay the bill themselves.”

  Hades clicked his pen again and set it down, stifling the murderous rage in him with a cold calm. In a way, he had to be grateful to this man. He’d sent Cassie running back to him when she might otherwise have stayed away.

  On the other hand, no one was allowed to frighten his mate.

  And she would be his mate. When he got back and they worked through this latest bump, there was nothing to stop them from being together this time.

  “Are you saying you’re turning me down?” he asked, leaning back in the chair, which creaked under his substantial weight, and glaring at the man across from him.

  Fear flickered in Richard’s dull blue eyes, but he quickly composed himself. “Your reputation is well known, John. But no, I can’t let you take on her debt. You see, the money isn’t really what I want, and I think Cassie knows that. If she didn’t, she should never have accepted my assistance.”

  Hades put a booted foot on Richard’s desk and then crossed the other over it. He put his hands behind his head, looking utterly calm. “You can send anyone you want after us. But we’re going to kill them. And if Cassie comes to any harm in the crossfire, then I’m just going to kill you. So why don’t you make it easier on yourself and just let me pay you?”

  Richard swallowed. “Maybe you should know who my father is before you jump to that conclusion.”

  Hades took his feet down and leaned in, grabbing the other man’s collar and yanking him forward so they were eye to eye. He dropped his civilized mask and let the other man see all the darkness inside him. The animal that had allowed him pull the trigger so many times.

  The animal that had emerged from the flames.

  “It doesn’t matter who your fucking father is, nitwit. When I’m through with you, your remains will fit in a fucking shoe. So you’re the one who should think before coming to conclusions. Because besides her, I have nothing. Left. To. Lose,” he snarled.

  The other man’s bravado finally failed him and he pushed back from Hades, visibly shaken. He ran his hands through his hair.

  “I need her more than you,” he said. “I need a bear.”

  Hades snarled. “Find another one.”

  “You know there are hardly any female bears around.”

  “There’s about to be one less male bear if you don’t stop talking about my mate,” Hades said, tapping the desk and moving forward as if to grab the other man again.

  Richard put his hands up. “Fine. I’ve lost. I get it. We won’t bother you anymore.”

  Hades took up the checkbook again. “I think ten dollars should cover it?”

  Richard’s jaw tensed and he scowled but nodded. “I’m assuming that isn’t up for negotiation?”

  “Not unless you want the intimate details of your organization released to the public and the police,” Hades said, pulling a folded paper from his pocket and passing it over the desk. “And my guess is your father would kill you himself before that’s allowed to happen.”

  Richard’s hands curled into the desk, making an unpleasant scraping sound. “Get out of my office.”

  Hades wrote the check with a smirk and dropped it casually on the desktop. “Pleasure doing business with you,” he said.

  “Bastard,” the other man spat. “You’ll regret this.”

  Hades raised an eyebrow. “I rather think you’re the one who’ll regret this if you don’t back down right now.”

  Richard sat back, looking exhausted with impotent anger. But he slowly calmed, a rat in a trap, realizing it is truly caught.

  “Watch your back, asshole,” he said. “I’m not the only one who’d be happy seeing you in a ditch.”

  “You and half the civilized world,” Hades said sardonically. “But you won’t get your wish, and I’ll be happy to annihilate anyone you send my way.” He made the shape of a gun with his hand. “I can always use the target practice.” He blew imaginary smoke off the tip of his “gun” and walked out the door, grinning wide because pissing off assholes just felt so damn good.

  But he was about halfway to the airport when the high wore off and nervousness started to take over.

  He was about to see his mate again. For the first time since their fight, and he had no idea what would be waiting for him at home. He sat quietly in the back of the taxi, trying to think of something he could do to make things easier.

  All he wanted was for things to be good between them again.

  He’d start by apologizing for making it all about him when she was the one who’d been hurting. It didn’t really matter who was at fault anymore or who thought what about whom. He just wanted to put it behind them and move on.

  Maybe now they finally could.

  * * *

  Hades got home late that day, and as he pulled up in his Viper outside of Zeus’s house, he felt unwelcome butterflies in his stomach.

  No, snipers didn’t get butterflies in their stomachs. Even when facing angry mates who were justifiably pissed.

  There were a million better ways he could have reacted when she’d told him what she thought she’d seen. He should have been gentle, but he’d been so offended and so worried that something so wrong could have ruined everything that it clouded his judgment.

  But with a day away from her, he didn’t care who was at fault anymore. He just wanted her to welcome him in.

  And then they could talk. Really talk about what the years had been like and what the future could be like.

  He hoped the chocolates and flowers in the backseat could help somewhat.

  He turned off the engine and got out, coming around back to pull out his gifts for Cassie.

  He heard the front door open and close and tu
rned around, expecting to see Zeus coming out to meet him. Instead, he saw Cassie.

  He froze, flowers in one hand, chocolates in the other, and watched her gaze move over him. Her eyes darted to everything he was holding, and he saw a twinkle there that made him hope this wouldn’t be as difficult as he’d been thinking.

  Before he could consider what to do, she strode toward him, closing the distance quickly. When she reached him, she flung her arms around him, pressing her curves to him, driving him crazy as her lips found his and she reached up on her toes to be closer.

  He dropped her presents in surprise, but she didn’t seem to mind. He grinned against her lips as he slid his hands underneath her thighs and lifted her against the car, kissing her hard and leaning her against it as she gasped and fumbled with the collar of his shirt.

  After a harsh, intense kiss where they were both left panting, he pulled back and set her down so they could talk. Then he realized her stuff was on the ground and pulled it up, brushing it off so he could present it to her.

  Her eyes widened, but she smiled as she took it. Then she grew shy. “I was worried you’d be mad.”

  “I thought you’d be mad.”

  “Come in. I made a surprise for you,” she said. “As an apology. I never should have thought that of you.”

  He put a palm up to his head and his other arm around her, walking her in as she held the presents he’d brought. He gave a quick look around the clearing to make sure they were alone.

  “Where are Zeus and Carly?” he asked.

  “They went to dinner with Ares,” she said. “They wanted to give us some time alone.”

  “Is that safe?” he asked.

  “They have someone in town keeping an eye on the gang. They’re apparently staying in a hotel in town, trying to recuperate, so they’re pretty easy to locate. Zeus’s idea is to have the three of you go give them a little talking to in order to convince them to move along.”

  Hades nodded. “Not a bad idea. So we have tonight to ourselves.”