Best Laid Plans

by Stylo Fantome

  “A bunch of rocks worth a lot of money,” Marc added, glancing at her.

  “I never cared about the money,” she said, then began tucking the bag back into the bottom of his pack.

  “How much did you get paid for this transport job?” he asked.

  “How much did you get paid to steal the diamonds?” she counter asked.

  “Why is everything a fucking battle with you? I feel like I need to constantly be kicking your ass just to get anything I want,” he complained. She smiled.

  “Technically, you have yet to kick my ass,” she corrected him.

  “Um, I knocked you on your ass in Liberia.”

  “Sucker punch, I wasn’t even looking. What kind of man sucker punches a girl!?”

  “The next morning, when you pulled your swallowing trick.”

  “You’ve yet to see my ‘swallowing trick’, and again, you took me when I wasn’t on guard and when I was chained to you. Pussy,” she taunted him.

  “When you freaked the fuck out and thought I was selling you.”

  “Oh, c’mon!” she burst out. “That was a pretty even fight, and you may have won, but only because of the gun. You definitely got your ass kicked way harder!”

  “I wouldn’t say ‘way’.”

  “You spit out a tooth.”

  “It was a crown.”

  “That’s almost worse.”

  “It was already loose.”

  “Jesus! I kicked your ass, seven different ways to Sunday, and if you can’t admit that a girl kicked your ass, then it’s fine, but that doesn’t make it not true, because I definitely -”

  She was sitting on her knees in her seat, turned to face him. She was picking at her nail, not paying attention, so she wasn’t prepared at all when he grabbed her by the back of the neck and yanked her forward. She squealed in the second before his lips covered her own, his hand moving around to cup her jaw. Again, that feeling of her breath being sucked away. Tossed into the wind. Right along with her cares.

  “I’m almost beginning to like your feistiness,” he sighed, then his fingers dug into her cheeks. “But don’t fucking push it.”

  She knocked his hand away.

  “You’re going to miss my ‘feistiness’ when I’m gone, admit it,” she laughed, falling back into her seat.

  “No, I won’t.”

  “Is ‘feistiness’ even a word?”

  “Lily, shut up.”

  “I’m just asking if -”

  An explosion rang through the air, causing both of them to duck and Lily to shriek. Marc swerved a little, trying to look in the rear view mirror. She scrambled to turn around in her seat.

  “What the fuck was that!?” he demanded.

  “I’m checking,” she was already climbing between the seats as she answered him.

  She knew there was a small pair of binoculars in Marc’s bag, so she fished them out before leaning over the back seat. She could see a black cloud rising up from behind a hill they’d just gone over, and she concentrated on that when she lifted the binoculars.

  “What do you see?” Marc asked.

  “I see … a cloud. Maybe flames. Something blew up.”

  “No shit. What was it?”

  “I can’t be sure, but it looks like it came from the direction of the house,” she said slowly.

  “Shit. Are you sure?”

  Lily adjusted the focus, did calculations in her mind. She couldn’t be positive, but …

  “Yeah, I’m pretty sure. I think someone just blew up that house,” she told him.

  “Fuck.”

  “It gets worse.”

  “Worse!?”

  “There’s a car coming.”

  “Fuck.”

  An SUV came over the hill behind them. It was quite a ways off, but it was really hauling ass.

  “What did you do on your little jaunt this morning!?” Lily snapped, sliding back into the front.

  “Nothing! I fucking searched the only other house on that road, then I drove back to that dust bowl of a village, found someone to buy guns off of!” he snapped back.

  “Well, clearly, that was a bad fucking idea! Someone spotted you!” she yelled. He took a deep breath.

  “Maybe,” he agreed, and she was shocked into silence. “They must have lost me when I left, then found that road.”

  “You fucking idiot!” Lily swore, rubbing her forehead.

  “Hey! No use fucking crying about it now, so suck it the fuck up, sweetheart, and get your big girl panties on. We’re about to deal with a lot of fire and I would appreciate not having to listen to you bitch the whole time,” he informed her.

  “Maybe they’re not after us. Maybe it’s someone else entirely,” Lily mumbled, staring into the side view.

  “Please don’t say stupid things right now. Switch seats with me,” he replied.

  “Huh?”

  “Move.”

  It always looked so easy in the movies, but switching seats while doing eighty miles per hour was no easy task. Marc was a big guy, Lily had to maneuver over him, meanwhile both of them had to work around the gear shift. Their speed dropped about in half, then they almost went off the road when she hit the brake instead of the clutch.

  “Sorry! Sorry,” she said quickly, before he could yell at her. He glared for a second, then reached behind the seat.

  “Where are they?” he asked as he picked up the bag of guns. She glanced in the rear view mirror.

  “Maybe five hundred feet and closing,” she guesstimated. He propped up a pump action shotgun between them, then put the bag on the floor under his feet.

  “Okay. Be ready. It could be simple. Maybe they’re just tailing us. They most likely want us alive, in case we -”

  There was the sound of a gun shot and the back window exploded.

  “Still think they want us alive!?” Lily shouted.

  “Fuck off, worry about the driving!” he snapped back.

  More shots were fired, riddling the back end of their car with bullets. Lily ducked down as far as she could, hugging the door. The car they were driving was an older model SUV type, and while it was a nice enough car, it wasn’t exactly in perfect condition. It was old. It was beat up. They were pushing maximum speed. Their pursuers were driving a black suburban, so shiny new that it looked out of place. It was able to speed up and ram into their bumper. Lily cursed, and when Marc leaned over his seat and began firing back, she covered her right ear with her hand.

  “One down!” he shouted, leaning back to grab another fully loaded clip.

  “Really!?”

  Lily was surprised, but as she looked in the rear view, she could see the passenger door on the suburban open up. A moment later, and a body was pushed out and onto the road. Then the car sped up again, ramming their bumper one more time.

  “I think there’s six of them! Well, five now. Do not let them get in front of us,” Marc instructed.

  “I’ll do my best,” she answered.

  “Your ‘best’!? You’re a fucking transporter, so do your job,” was all he said before going back to shooting.

  Lily had done all her training on smaller cars. She’d taken multiple courses in stunt driving and race car driving, so she felt comfortable behind just about any wheel. But the majority of her time had been spent driving BMWs and Audis. Little fast cars.

  With bullets whizzing past her head, Lily watched her mirrors as best she could, shadowing the larger car’s movement. He wanted to get around her, so she drove down the center lane, taking up the whole road as best she could. It was murder on her speed, but it kept her in front.

  “If you could hit the driver, that would be swell!” she shouted over the wind that was rushing through the car.

  “You wanna come over here and try, princess!?” he yelled back, picking up another gun.

  “Shit!”

  They were going around a curve and on the other side, a broken down vehicle took up the whole right lane of the road, with a group of people standing on the
center line.

  Lily yanked the wheel to the left, causing Marc to slam into her side. They rode along with two tires off the pavement, threatening to slide down a small embankment. She glanced to the side and saw that the suburban had split right, and was now jumping and cruising over shrubs and bushes.

  Don’t let them get ahead. Don’t let them get ahead.

  She fought to get the car back on the road and cranked the wheel hard to the right. The suburban pulled the same move and they slammed into each other. Metal was grinding on metal, making a deafening roar.

  The back seat of the suburban was even with their front seats, and as a tinted window began to roll down, Marc grabbed the shotgun. He jammed it through the gap, and before their guests could roll their window back up, he pulled the trigger. The other driver must have hit the brakes, because the larger car fell behind, the shotgun and the sounds of yelling going with it.

  “I think there’s only two left now,” Marc said, sitting in his seat and digging through the guns at his feet. “We’re all over the place, I can’t get any clean shots.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, would you like me to pull over?” Lily asked.

  “I’d like you to have less fucking attitude and fucking figure something out.”

  Lily thought for a second, then felt a light bulb go off over her head.

  “Take off the top!” she called out.

  “Excuse me!?”

  “The top, over the back! It’s removable! Take it off,” she instructed.

  She was surprised that he didn’t ask anymore questions. Most of the snaps that held the top down were broken off, so getting it loose wasn’t a problem. A couple flips, a couple pounds from his fist, and the wind did the rest, ripping the top off and blowing it away behind them.

  As soon as it happened, Lily downshifted, yanked the wheel, and pressed down on the emergency brake. The back end of the car spun around in a 180, and before it could fully come to a stop, she slammed the gearshift into reverse and hit the gas at the same time as popping the brake. White smoke curled around them as the tires screamed and sought for purchase on the hot asphalt.

  “Thank you!” Marc shouted, moving back to stand on his seat, leaning against the roll bar.

  “Make it count, I don’t want to get shot today,” she replied, looking behind them while holding onto his belt.

  While she steered as best she could, she listened as his bullets pinged off of metal. Penetrated through glass. She kept waiting for him to announce that everyone was dead, that he had once again saved the day, but it didn’t happen.

  “Goddamn gun is jammed!” Marc yelled.

  “Figure it out, I’m about to burn out our transmission!” Lily shouted back, glancing at the dials on the dashboard.

  “Hand me something else!”

  Grumbling, Lily leaned as best she could to the side while maintaining an eye on the road. She rifled through the bag, then her hand came across something. It felt like a handgun, only bigger. Almost cartoonish. It took her a second, then she got it. She gasped, getting another idea.

  “Sit down!” she urged, pulling the weapon free of the bag and juggling it around so it was pointing out her window.

  “Why? And are you slowing down!?” he sounded beyond shocked.

  “Trust me.”

  Marc sat down just as the suburban pulled up even with them. A window slowly rolled down and the driver smiled at her, several gold teeth winking in the sun. Lily smiled back, then she pulled the trigger.

  A flare gun seemed like a silly choice, and how it had gotten mixed up with all the other weapons, she didn’t know. But as a burning flare shot into the other car, she was glad it had found its way to them.

  The reaction was instantaneous. There were shouts and screams, smoke billowing out of the windows. The car jerked back and forth, then began to swerve away. Lily let out a sigh of relief at first, but then the other vehicle swerved back, almost completely cutting across the lanes. Lily had time to yell one good swear word before the suburban rammed into the front panel of their car.

  They didn’t flip, thank god, but they did spin around in several circles. The back end lost control, leading the mutiny, and eventually it dragged them into the ditch that ran along side the road. Lily was wearing her seat belt, but she still slammed her head against the steering wheel. No air bag deployed for her, though about a minute after the crash, a passenger air bag went off.

  Awesome safety features. I’m so tired of getting hit in the head.

  “Fuck. Princess,” Marc grumbled, and she could hear him moving around. She moaned, wondering what the wailing sound was that seemed to be surrounding her. As she felt his hand slithering between her chest and the wheel, she realized she was leaning against the horn.

  “I just want to pass out, just for like a minute,” she whispered as he pushed her back. He was gentle, supporting the back of her head while he moved her. He got up onto his knees, leaning over to inspect her.

  “Just a scratch. Look at me,” he ordered, and she trained her eyes on his. “Good. I don’t think there’s a concussion.”

  “Are you sure? This really hurts,” she complained, and it got him to laugh. He picked up the hem of his t-shirt and pressed it to the top right side of her forehead. When he pulled away, she saw there was blood on the material.

  “You did good. I’m gonna go see if those scumbags are alive,” Marc told her, then he all but leapt out of the car.

  Lily was not as enthusiastic about going after their attackers. She gingerly climbed out of the car, then groaned when she saw all the damage. A back rear wheel had been completely shredded and ripped off the rim. On the other side, where the suburban had rammed into them, the metal was completely concave, pinning the tire inside the wheel well.

  There goes another vehicle. How many is that now?

  “Fuck,” she whispered, wiping sweat off her forehead. When she rubbed her hand on her tank top, a rusty red color smeared down the white front. She frowned. Not sweat, blood. She was still bleeding. Probably not a good sign.

  There was shouting coming from somewhere, so she climbed out of the ditch and winced. The suburban was dead on the road, facing the opposite direction. The driver’s side corner in the front had been completely crunched in, the fender hanging at an awkward angle. The passenger seat seemed to be on fire and all the windows were shot out, the windshield one massive spiderweb of cracks.

  Pressing the heel of her hand to her head wound, she braced one arm against the crumpled up hood and walked around the vehicle. There was a dead guy on the ground – the gold-toothed driver who’d smiled at her. Marc had another man pinned against the side of the car, a gun pressed to the guy’s forehead.

  “How did you find us!?” Marc demanded.

  The man spit in his face and Lily grimaced. That hadn’t worked out so well for her, when she’d done it to Marc. He cracked his gun across the man’s nose, then went back to pointing the barrel at him.

  “I do not answer to you,” the man answered, a Russian accent very evident in his voice.

  “Maybe not me, but I’ve got nine bullets in here that think you’ll talk to them,” Marc replied.

  The man said something in another language, and it didn’t sound pleasant. He was given another hit across the nose.

  Lily didn’t want to watch any more. She felt dizzy, and she couldn’t care less who sent them. It was Ivanov, or someone above him. Maybe even big boss Stankovski. All she cared about was how involved she looked – did Stankovski know that she and Marc were trying to steal his diamonds?

  “Jesus, can we just get out of here!?” she shouted.

  “Not until he tells me -”

  Marc didn’t get to finish his statement. Lily gave a strangled yell as an arm wrapped around her throat. She went to swing her arm back at whoever was holding her, but a gun was suddenly pressed into the side of her head. She froze, holding up her hands.

  “Alright! Give us the diamonds!”

  Lily paused for
a moment, a little surprised – the man holding her hostage had a thick cockney accent.

  “This doesn’t need to get messy,” Marc started in a slow voice. “Let her go. I let him go.”

  “I don’t give two shits about him, or this bitch! You tell me where those fuckin’ diamonds are, or the last thing you’ll see is me putting a bullet through your girlfriend’s head!”

  Marc narrowed his eyes.

  “Let her go, or the last thing you’ll see is me putting a bullet through your friend’s head,” Marc counter threatened.

  The guy holding her jerked to the side, and for a second, Lily thought she was dead. But the gun was pulled away from her head and pointed straight out. Marc dove backwards and Lily screamed before biting down on the arm that was restraining her. Her assailant let out a growl, but didn’t let go of her. Instead, he pulled the trigger, shooting his partner in the back of the head. Then he slammed the butt of the gun against the side of her skull. Her reality spun around in a circle and she stopped biting down, almost going limp in his grasp.

  “Not a problem anymore, now is it!? Get me those fuckin’ stones!” he was shouting so loud he was spitting as he talked, spraying against Lily’s shoulder. She didn’t care. It was taking all her energy and focus just to stay standing. She tried to keep her eyes on Marc, but there seemed to be two of him getting up off the ground.

  “Alright, alright,” he sighed, dusting himself off. “You want the stones. I have the stones. Let her go, she’s not part of this. I’ve just been holding her hostage, she doesn’t mean anything.”

  “Do I fucking look stupid!?”

  “Is that a real question?”

  “I changed my mind, mate. The last thing you’ll see – after I shoot you in both your knee caps – is me fucking your girlfriend’s face. You’d like that, wouldn’t you, sweetheart?” her new friend growled in her ear. She took a deep breath.

  “Whatever ends this quicker, sure,” she managed to say, though it felt like it took all her energy just to push the words out.

  “Oi! My kind of woman! Now, before I have to make good on my word, be a love and tell me where those diamonds are,” he asked. Lily nodded again, her eyes falling shut.