The Curious Lobster

by Richard W. Hatch

  “Are you angry now?” asked Mr. Lobster.

  “Yes, I am,” answered Mr. Badger.

  “What are you going to do?” Mr. Lobster felt a little doubtful about returning to see the serpent. “Can you change him from an enemy to a friend?”

  “We shall see,” answered Mr. Badger.

  “You make me as nervous as the serpent did,” said Mr. Bear. “All you say is ‘We shall see.’ I know what we shall see, and it’s more trouble.”

  “I am going to think things over now,” said Mr. Badger, paying no attention at all to Mr. Bear’s complaint. “Please excuse me for a while.” He started to walk away.

  Mr. Lobster said good-by to Mr. Bear and Mr. Badger and crawled into the ocean. He was glad to be under water again, and glad to hurry away to his new home, for he wanted to think over things, too. Especially he wanted to think over the serpent’s head swaying back and forth, and why he had swayed also just because the serpent had swayed. That had been a strange business.

  “Serpents are very strange,” he kept saying to himself. “Very strange.” And, saying that over and over as he lay in his home, he fell asleep without thinking a single new thought.

  An Enemy Is Changed

  IN THE morning Mr. Lobster found Mr. Bear and Mr. Badger on the beach. Mr. Bear was walking back and forth in a state of agitation, talking to himself and growling softly.

  “Mr. Badger refuses to go home,” he said to Mr. Lobster.

  And Mr. Badger was walking by himself in deep silence, thinking so hard that he didn’t even notice Mr. Lobster’s arrival.

  Mr. Lobster realized that this was indeed a serious morning. The three friends had to go and see the serpent and make friends with him, or else sail away home and leave the island forever.

  So Mr. Lobster began to crawl back and forth by himself and think as hard as he could, just like Mr. Badger.

  For a long time the three of them went back and forth on the beach, and there was not a sound except Mr. Bear’s soft growling and the songs of birds from the woods and the whisper of small waves on the sand. It was such a beautiful day that it seemed a pity to spend it all in thinking.

  About noon, when the sun was high overhead, and Mr. Bear was nearly exhausted and Mr. Lobster was feeling rather dry, Mr. Badger suddenly stopped walking.

  “We must have a meeting now,” he announced.

  “Thank goodness!” exclaimed Mr. Bear. “At last I can have a rest.”

  “I must get wet,” said Mr. Lobster, and he hurried gratefully for the ocean.

  When he returned, they gathered near Mr. Bear’s boat, at which poor Mr. Bear looked longingly, hoping that the meeting would decide that they would sail home, although he knew that any meeting with Mr. Badger could never turn out so pleasantly.

  “Now,” said Mr. Badger, “this is important. It is a council of war or a council of peace.”

  “Pardon me, but what is a council?” asked Mr. Lobster. “I have never seen one.”

  “A council,” explained Mr. Badger readily, “is a meeting where all the people present are very important and only big things are discussed. It is very different from an ordinary meeting.”

  “I see,” said Mr. Lobster. “I suppose all of us are important.”

  “And that serpent is so big, he is enormous,” said Mr. Bear sadly.

  “Exactly,” said Mr. Badger. He looked all around before speaking again, as though he were making sure that no one but Mr. Lobster and Mr. Bear could hear him. Then he said in a low tone, “And a council is always secret. That is a rule. So we must be careful!”

  He had already succeeded in making Mr. Bear nervous and Mr. Lobster curious, and they were both as silent as could be.

  “I have thought this matter over,” he went on, still speaking so that no one else but his two friends could hear. “I hate to admit it, but this is the serpent’s island because he got here first. But that does not excuse him for being inhospitable to wanderers—and discourteous as well. And I cannot forget that he threatened me—me, a badger! If this is a council of war we must decide to drive the serpent away and take the island for ourselves.” He paused to see what the others would say.

  Mr. Bear spoke up at once.

  “Fighting is uncomfortable,” he said.

  “It seems to me,” said Mr. Lobster, “that driving the serpent away from his own island would be even more discourteous than he was. And I am sure that a hero is never discourteous. So how can we do that?”

  Mr. Badger heaved a long sigh.

  “I might have known that you would think of that, Mr. Lobster,” he said. “You are altogether too wise. And I was sort of hankering for a good fight.”

  “Fights are very seldom good,” replied Mr. Lobster. “And even if someone else does wrong, that is no excuse for our doing wrong.”

  “True,” agreed Mr. Badger. “Of course you are perfectly right, but the truth is sometimes disappointing. Well, I guess we shall have a council of peace. Would you like to hear my idea?”

  “Are you sure it is a peaceful one?” asked Mr. Bear.

  “Yes, it is this: I have learned from experience that anyone who is really fierce and strong and heroic never has to threaten; so you can be sure that anyone who does boast and threaten is really an inferior creature. So I believe that the serpent is really not a serpent at all, but only a snake; and I believe we can make a bargain with him.”

  Mr. Lobster, although he trembled in every joint at the thought of seeing the serpent’s head swaying back and forth, and looking into those strange eyes again, was instantly eager to see what Mr. Badger would do.

  “I will go with you,” he said, “if you want me to.”

  “Fine,” said Mr. Badger. “Then we are decided. Are you ready to go, Mr. Bear?”

  “I am never ready to rush into danger or unpleasantness,” answered Mr. Bear, “but I know that I have to go, whether I am ready or not. It has always been so when you and Mr. Lobster decided anything. So let us get started and get it over with as soon as possible.”

  They started at once, Mr. Bear going last and looking over his shoulder at his boat as long as he could see it. When they were deep in the woods he paused once or twice, as though contemplating a retreat, but it was impossible to retreat with such a leader as Mr. Badger. So he went on, and before long they were all at the entrance of the serpent’s home.

  Mr. Bear looked around and picked a place behind a thorn bush. He hoped that serpents did not like thorns.

  Mr. Lobster was nearer the hole in the ground. He was wondering what he could look at if the serpent’s head began swaying back and forth and he began swaying himself.

  Mr. Badger stood directly in front of the serpent’s home. “Now this may be serious,” he said to his two friends, “and you must be ready to help me if there is trouble and I need assistance.”

  “Please remember that we had a council of peace,” begged Mr. Bear from behind the thorn bush.

  Mr. Lobster curled his tail tightly.

  “We are here to discuss matters,” proclaimed Mr. Badger in a loud and firm tone. “Will you please come out?”

  There was a moment of silence. Then the serpent appeared, sliding very slowly, his head held up in a dignified and fearless manner. When every inch of him was in sight he coiled himself neatly, gave his tail a flick to put it in perfect position, raised his head as high as possible, and spoke.

  “I endeavor to be reasonable,” he said, his eyes gleaming, “and so I have come. But a serpent never goes back on his word. You have committed treason, and I won’t have you on my island.”

  It was not exactly a friendly beginning, and Mr. Bear was ready to leave at once without any further words.

  But Mr. Badger was not ready to give up.

  “It occurred to us,” said he, “that perhaps you did not understand fully that we are wanderers and explorers, and that anything we did that you did not like was only a mistake.”

  “Only a mistake, indeed!” the snake said fiercel
y. “There is no excuse for mistakes! Only stupid persons make mistakes!”

  “Then you have not changed your mind?” asked Mr. Badger, still speaking courteously.

  “A serpent never changes his mind!”

  There was a most uncomfortable silence—in fact, a disagreeable silence. The meeting seemed to have come to an end before it had really begun.

  Mr. Bear, who was peering through his thorn bush, leaned forward to see what Mr. Badger would say or do next. Mr. Badger’s eyes now had red in them, a dangerous sign with all badgers, and he wanted to fight the serpent. But there was something uncanny and shivery about that strange creature. No matter how angry and brave Mr. Badger felt, when he looked at those glittering eyes and that swaying head he couldn’t quite get started fighting, no matter how much he wished to. It was an entirely new experience for Mr. Badger.

  Mr. Lobster looked the other way when the serpent’s head began swaying back and forth. He wanted to look again and again, but he didn’t. He looked at a leaf instead. And he was curious. He thought: “If the serpent never makes a mistake and never changes his mind, then he must be perfect. What a wonderful thing to be! And I wonder if he is poisonous.”

  And, wanting to satisfy his curiosity, he forgot that the situation was a very serious one and spoke to the serpent.

  “Pardon me for asking,” he said in his polite way, “but are you poisonous?”

  At that very moment, and before the serpent could answer, Mr. Bear leaned forward so far that he lost his balance. Quickly he put his foot out and stepped down very hard. He stepped on a thorn. And he let out the loudest, the fiercest, the worst growl he had ever made. The woods rang with it.

  Like a black flash the serpent uncoiled himself, put his proud head down, and darted down the hole. He was gone, and the three friends were alone again.

  “Bravely done!” exclaimed Mr. Badger. “Mr. Bear, you are a wonder to think of growling.”

  Mr. Bear had not meant to growl at all, of course, but now he felt quite pleased with himself.

  “That fixed him!” he said.

  MR. BEAR LET OUT THE LOUDEST, THE FIERCEST, THE WORST GROWL HE HAD EVER MADE.

  There was a moment of silence while the three friends wondered what to do next. Then Mr. Lobster realized something important.

  “It seems to me that I have a good thought,” he said. “If the serpent is really poisonous, would he run away from Mr. Bear’s growl?”

  “Why, no! Of course not!” exclaimed Mr. Badger. “Mr. Lobster, you have solved everything! It is your wisdom again, and I say brains always win. For certainly the serpent is not poisonous at all. And so he is not a serpent at all either!”

  And Mr. Badger walked right over to the hole in the ground.

  “Come back here at once,” he called, and he spoke in no uncertain tone.

  At first there was no sight or sound of the strange creature, but then he appeared. He came very slowly, and he coiled himself without taking any pride or pleasure in it.

  “Are you poisonous?” demanded Mr. Badger.

  The creature hung his head in shame, and was silent.

  “Answer me,” said Mr. Badger.

  “No,” came the answer in a low voice. “I am not poisonous at all.”

  “Then you are not a serpent,” declared Mr. Badger in his sternest manner.

  “No, I am just an ordinary snake.” The poor creature’s head was down to the ground.

  “And you deceived us.” Mr. Badger’s voice was sharp. He had been fooled himself the day before and almost fooled this time by the snake, and people who have been fooled are angry when they find out.

  “Yes—and now you have made my life miserable by discovering the truth,” said the unhappy snake. “All my life I have wanted to be poisonous and terrible, and all I really am is utterly harmless. It is my great shame. You have no idea how sad it is to look dangerous and be utterly harmless.”

  Mr. Lobster already felt a good deal of sympathy for the snake just because he looked so unhappy, for Mr. Lobster’s heart was so soft that he never could bear to see other creatures unhappy or suffering. But he couldn’t understand why the serpent wanted to be poisonous.

  “Would you mind telling me why you want to be poisonous and terrible?” he asked.

  “Well,” said the snake, “you see, this is my island, and I wanted to be the ruler of it and have a great deal of authority. I love authority. And how can I have authority unless I am poisonous and terrible? I have always dreamed of being known far and wide as the sinister serpent—and now my dream will never come true.”

  “What is ‘sinister’?” whispered Mr. Lobster to Mr. Badger.

  “ ‘Sinister’ is the wickedest there is,” answered Mr. Badger promptly.

  Mr. Lobster addressed himself to the snake. “I don’t know a great deal about authority,” he said, “because I have never had any. And I should think that it would be a nuisance. But, anyway, I should say that the best way to be a ruler would be to be friendly and helpful and wise. If I were you, I would consider being poisonous very unimportant.”

  “And I want to say at this point,” put in Mr. Badger quickly, “that Mr. Lobster is one of the wisest creatures in the world, and that everything he says is true.”

  Mr. Bear muttered unpleasantly:

  “And that snake told a lie. He said he was a serpent—and I believed him.”

  The snake looked more ashamed than before, if that were possible. He was completely crushed.

  “I will think it all over,” he said humbly.

  He began to uncoil very slowly and without any enthusiasm, like a piece of old rope.

  “Oh, pardon me,” said Mr. Lobster, “but before you go, as you are not a serpent but only a snake, can you change your mind and let us stay on your island?”

  The snake brightened up.

  “Do you mean that I still have authority, even if I am not poisonous or terrible?” he asked.

  “Of course,” answered Mr. Lobster. “One can have authority and be the kindest creature in the world. This is still your island, and we are asking your permission to stay here. We are all friendly creatures, you see.”

  “Well,” said the snake, and he paused a moment while the three friends waited breathlessly, and his head came just a little further off the ground. “Well, I will let you stay. Perhaps, when I feel better I shall come and see you.”

  “Thank you,” said Mr. Lobster courteously. “That is most kind of you.”

  And the snake slowly disappeared down the hole then, not waiting for any more words with the three explorers who had so changed him.

  Mr. Badger and Mr. Bear and Mr. Lobster went happily through the woods. Mr. Badger was especially happy, as he had the greatest love and respect for Mr. Lobster and he was always glad when Mr. Lobster’s great wisdom solved a problem.

  “Mr. Lobster saved the day,” he said. “He is more than ever a great hero.”

  “That’s all right,” said Mr. Bear. “Mr. Lobster is always a hero, and he asked the snake the question. But who scared the snake down the hole, I would like to know?” He gave a low growl.

  “You did,” said Mr. Lobster promptly. “And I believe that the person who really saved the day was you. I believe you were the most important, Mr. Bear.”

  Those words were sweet to Mr. Bear. At last he was important. At last he had saved a day. He walked proudly through the woods, happier than he had been for a long time.

  “You know,” he said, “I believe I am going to like this island. It is a most pleasant place, and I shouldn’t be surprised if I found honey on it yet.”

  When they had reached the boat Mr. Lobster went into the water for a light lunch, and he began to think things over, as was his custom after every important event.

  “I trust this has been a valuable lesson for the snake,” he said to himself. “And I hope that now he will be happy. But there is one thing I am curious about: being cross and being unhappy often go together. I wonder whether the snake
was unhappy because he was cross, or cross because he was unhappy.”

  And, thinking it over for some time, he decided that it would have to remain a mystery, because it would be discourteous to ask the snake for an answer. So he crawled happily along, looking for lunch and not worrying about anything.

  The very next day the snake came to the beach and spoke to the three friends. “I have decided to be friendly and see what it is like,” he said. “And I have thought of something. If you would like to borrow my island for a while, I will lend it to you, and while you are here you may do as you wish.”

  “Thank you very much,” said Mr. Lobster.

  “We do appreciate it,” said Mr. Badger. “You see, an explorer simply has to discover something that he can claim, and it is most discouraging to sail as far as we did and discover an island and then find out that someone else has discovered it first. Now you won’t mind if we just claim this island while we are here, will you?”

  “Not at all,” said the snake.

  “And does that include the woods and any honey in the trees there?” asked Mr. Bear.

  “Oh, yes, you may as well claim everything.”

  So Mr. Bear and Mr. Lobster and the snake were quiet and attentive while Mr. Badger made a solemn proclamation and once more claimed the island and named it Mr. Lobster’s Island. This made the three friends very happy, and the snake seemed pleased.

  When Mr. Badger had finished, the snake started for the woods.

  “I must be going,” he said, “as I very much prefer the woods to the beach. Sand is not pleasant to glide over, but leaves are very soothing to the stomach, and certain kinds of moss are delightful. So I spend most of my time in the woods, but I shall be glad to see you when you come my way. Before I go, I wonder if you would do me a favor?”

  “We shall be glad to,” said Mr. Lobster.

  “Well,” said the snake, “you may think it strange, but I am still a little sensitive about not being poisonous. I am afraid it will be a long time before I can be really happy over being an utterly harmless snake. So would you mind not mentioning the fact to anyone?”