by Rhonda Shaw
Jason popped upright with a big grin on his face. “You’re an asshole. I know you threw it up there so I’d have to jump.”
Matt chuckled as he bent down to pick up his helmet. “Don’t worry, Kirb. You’re still growing.” Jason stood a tad under six feet, a good deal shorter than Matt did, and Matt loved to tease him about it.
“Girls, girls,” Jerry said as he wandered over to them from the dugout where he’d been watching. “Do I need to separate you two?”
Matt and Jason met in the infield and grinned at each other. They’d been giving each other shit for years.
“Nah, Matt just has his panties in a bunch. Girl problems, you know,” Jason said to Jerry.
Matt’s smile immediately dropped. “Fuck you.”
“Things not going good with Shannon?” Jerry asked.
Matt glowered at Jason for opening his big mouth. “I’d rather not talk about it.”
The last thing he wanted to do was think about her, let alone talk about her. He’d come to Spring Training determined to put everything behind him. Embarrassed, pissed and hurt, he simply wanted to move on. His story was something had come up at work requiring her to get back to Chicago, but Jason knew him better than anyone else and called his bullshit. He never asked directly, however, instead made the occasional snide comment, trying to trick the story out of Matt. So far, Matt wasn’t biting.
Jerry glanced at Jason. “He’s not saying.”
Jason nodded as he narrowed his eyes at Matt. “Yeah, he’s good at that. Stubborn ass.”
He wasn’t saying because he still couldn’t wrap his head around what had happened. He didn’t understand how she claimed she wanted to try only to suddenly declare she’d tried, it wasn’t going to work and she would be returning to Chicago. All this before things truly got hard. He could handle all of it and quite possibly learn to accept it, except the not wanting to try. That he didn’t understand at all.
But it didn’t matter that he didn’t understand. It didn’t matter that they got along great, connected and enjoyed each other. It didn’t matter that he loved how passionate she was, how dedicated she was or that she was just as competitive as he was. It didn’t matter that he respected the hell of out her, that he loved that she had her own goals, dreams and aspirations. He’d said what he’d needed to say, and she ignored him. Time to move on.
Spring Training had been the perfect answer. Away from the house and any reminders of Shannon, entire days filled with baseball, leaving no room for anything else. Most nights he simply collapsed into bed, exhausted, not allowing any moments for his mind to wander. The last thing he needed was these guys trying to stir up some gossip.
“We still going to dinner?” Jerry asked Matt.
“Yep, sounds good,” Matt said as they all walked together off the field and into the locker room.
Leaving the stadium with his duffel bag slung over his shoulder after they showered and changed, Matt put his aviators on as he headed out into the afternoon sun. Jason walked next to him as Jerry followed behind, all of them slowed a bit as they made their way down the sidewalk lined with fans asking for their autographs. They tried to oblige as much as possible, signing bats, balls, even stopping long enough to have their picture taken, before stepping over to the other side of the fence, which separated them from the autograph seekers.
“Oh, man.” Jerry turned his face up the sun. “I was so ready for this warmth. It was a brutal winter this year.”
“I have no idea how you guys deal with that winter crap,” Jason said.
Jerry shrugged. “Hey, man. My baby wants to live in Michigan, so we live in Michigan.”
Matt glanced at him over his shoulder as he walked around to the driver’s side of his truck. Since a few of them had rented apartments in the same complex, they had driven together in Matt’s car. “Karen won’t move?”
Jerry opened the back door and tossed his bag onto the floor before climbing in. “I don’t know, to be honest. I’ve never asked, but I assumed she wouldn’t want to move. I mean, that’s where Maddie is and that’s where her mom is. Plus, I’m fine with Michigan.”
“I don’t know,” Jason said. “If some girl I was with wanted to live in a place where the temps dropped below sixty degrees, I think I’d have to leave her.”
Matt chuckled as he started the car. “Says the guy who’s never been in a relationship.”
Jason gave an easy shrug as Jerry laughed from the backseat. “Never saw the need. There are a lot of women out there who have yet to enjoy my company.”
Jerry gave another hoot. “Ah, man. You’re priceless. I can’t wait to see the one girl who’s going to bring you down on your ass. That’s going to be beautiful.”
Matt laughed and nodded in agreement. “That is going to be entertaining and we’ll be right there calling you whipped just as you do to us.”
Jason only grinned. “Whatever. Not going to happen.”
Pulling into the complex, Matt parked in his assigned spot. Each apartment had their own private entrance, which sat back from the road, and you had to pass through a landscaped courtyard to get to them. When they came around the corner, Jerry exclaimed, “No way!” before he pushed Matt off the sidewalk.
Jerry rushed ahead and caught a female throwing herself at him with a squeal. It took Matt a second before he recognized Karen.
Jerry tried to hold her in his arms, but with her protruding stomach, he struggled for a minute before he finally set her down. “What are you doing here?” he asked ducking his head again to catch her mouth with his.
“I wanted to surprise you,” she said when they broke apart.
Swallowing the jealousy building within him, Matt tried to disappear quietly, allowing them a private moment. He stepped around them to head to his place when Jason cleared his throat.
“Uh, I’m guessing she’s here for you,” Jason said.
Following Jason’s gaze, Matt started when his eyes connected with Shannon’s. She stood behind her sister, hovering near the door to Jerry’s place.
He was floored. Having not expected to cross paths with her anytime soon, if ever, a gamut of emotions rolled through him—surprise, happiness, excitement, anger, frustration, and resentment all being the first he recognized.
A hand clamped down on his shoulder. “Guess I’m on my own for dinner. I’ll catch you later, man.” Jason turned up the sidewalk to his place and went through the front door.
Matt gave a distracted nod, not able to look away from her. She walked slowly toward him, her steps short and timid as she sidestepped Jerry and Karen, who were still wrapped around each other. Her eyes passed over him, taking in his long-sleeved navy athletic shirt and training shorts, and he didn’t miss the way they darkened before coming back to his face.
“Hi,” she said quietly.
Shannon was dressed in a slim pink T-shirt topping white skinny jeans, which made her legs look somehow longer than they already were, and with her hair pulled back into a messy bun, he could tell she’d lost some weight. She was too thin, the lines of her face too sharp, her blue eyes almost too big, and her collarbone too pronounced. Anger pushed through at what she’d done to herself, but she was still so beautiful that it took his breath away.
“Hi,” he finally said.
She glanced over her shoulder at Jerry and Karen before turning back. “Can we go to your place? I think I’ll be in the way right now. Besides, I’m sure you’re wondering what I’m doing here and I’d like to explain.”
He nodded and pointed to the door straight ahead. “That’s me.”
“Okay.” She returned to the small patio in front of Jerry’s place. “Would you guys get inside? You’re nauseating.”
Karen and Jerry finally separated. “You okay?” Karen asked her.
Shannon nodded as her eyes flitted over to Matt’s for a second before she embraced her sister. She smiled and gave Jerry a hug before she headed toward Matt.
Opening the front door, Shannon ste
pped in behind him and glanced around. The apartment was nice and furnished, but small. All Matt cared about was the privacy the place provided at the end of the day.
“Can I get you something?” He shoved his thumb toward the cubby of a kitchen.
“Water would be great, thanks,” she said.
Matt watched her as she walked around the small living room twining her hands together, clear evidence of her nerves. He wasn’t exactly at ease himself, but curiosity as to what she had to say won over any nervousness.
He handed her the bottle of water he’d pulled from the fridge and drank out of his own. “What are you doing here, Shannon?” he finally asked. No reason to beat around the bush.
She had just taken a sip and half choked. “Right to the point, huh?”
He shrugged. “Sure, no reason not to.”
Shannon nodded. “I honestly don’t know where to start,” she finally admitted.
“Wherever you want,” he said as he sat on the arm of the brown leather couch that filled most of the room.
“Okay, um, where to start.” She started to pace in the narrow space. “Let’s see, I guess that would be when I got back to Chicago…”
“Shannon.” He put his hand on her arm, stopping her in mid-pace. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. Just tell me what’s on your mind.”
Relief passed over her face. She turned to him and straightened her shoulders. “I’ve really missed you.”
There was no point in denying the surge of pleasure warming him at her words. However, it didn’t mean she’d changed her mind about her career being the number one priority in her life, in which he didn’t fit.
“I have too,” Matt said simply. She needed to reveal more of her hand before he showed his.
She took another deep breath. “All right. I’ve been miserable. I’ve done nothing but work since I left Arizona so I wouldn’t have any time to even think…about you.”
“And yet you’re here,” he said.
“Yes,” Shannon said. “I quit my job.”
A jolt of surprise hit him as that was the last thing he’d expected her to say. “What? Why did you do that?”
“Well, it was either quit or be forced out. I tried to talk to the junior partner I worked with, Carol, but once I asked about reducing my workload, she made it perfectly clear it’d be better if I left.” She let out a gusty sigh. “It was hard and, I’ll admit, I’m still not quite comfortable with it, but I decided I needed to take some time to figure out exactly what is going on in here,” she said as she tapped her temple.
“But I thought your dream was to be a lawyer?” he asked her.
Shannon smiled. “It is and I do, but it turned out I have other dreams I was ignoring and I was starting to resent all the sacrifices I was making. One of them being you.”
Matt narrowed his eyes, not quite believing his ears. “What about your father?”
“What about him?”
“Shannon,” he warned, giving her a hard look at her attempt to avoid. “Does he even know? He’s the one who got you the job.”
“Not yet.” She at least had the decency not to lie to him.
“And what’s going to happen when he does?”
“He’ll be upset, but I’ll deal with him,” Shannon insisted. His doubt must have been obvious because she became adamant. “I will. I just have to work out what I’m going to say to him.”
Matt sighed, unsure what to think. On one hand, he was very happy to see her. The fact that she’d left her job said a lot. It definitely showed she was willing to make changes she’d hadn’t been open to before and perhaps her priorities were now different.
On the other hand, however, the situation with her father left him unsettled. He didn’t quite believe she would handle his disappointment as easily as she did. Although, since she’d quit, even if her father did become pushy, she couldn’t go back. He’d take that as a win and the rest they’d figure out together.
“So you quit and came down here,” he said.
“I figured it would be better now before the season started. But…” she dropped off and he followed what she left unsaid.
He smiled and reached out to tug her closer to him. “I’m really glad you came.”
Relief washed over her face again and she let out a breath. “Yeah?”
Matt pulled her flush against him. “Very much,” he said as he ducked his head to take her mouth with his. He proceeded gently, wanting to savor having her in his arms again.
His hands ran up and down her back, tracing the bones of her rib cage, her shoulder blades as well as what felt like each vertebrae. His tongue did one more tangle with hers, before he released her.
“You are way too skinny, Shannon,” he said.
She gave an embarrassed one-shoulder shrug. “I was stupid, I know. I totally immersed myself and if I ate, I ate but I didn’t go out of my way to find food.”
“We’re going to get some food in you,” he said as he started to head toward the kitchen, but stopped when she tugged on his hand. He glanced back at her and she gave him a small smile.
“In a bit, okay? I’m not done saying what I wanted to say.”
“Okay,” he said, interested in what more she had to say.
Shannon took his other hand in hers and studied his fingers for a moment before she cast her gaze back to his, her blue eyes wide and searching. “I want to tell you what tipped it for me and then you can tell me if it freaks you out or not. You promise me you’ll tell me the truth?”
A small ball of uneasiness grew in the pit of his stomach, not liking the direction the conversation was going, especially if she worried he would freak out. “Okay, I promise.”
“Remember what happened in Arizona? In the bathroom with the…”
He knew exactly what she was referring to, as he’d wondered himself, figuring she’d let him know if there was a need. “Yeah, I know what you’re talking about.” All of the sudden, panic rippled through him. “Wait, are you trying to tell me—“
Shannon held out a hand and quickly shook her head. “No. Not that. I’m not pregnant.”
“Okay,” he said and took a deep breath. Not that he didn’t want a family, but he definitely didn’t want one with someone out of wedlock or with someone who, up until a few minutes ago, hadn’t wanted to be with him. “Okay, good.”
She eyed him for a second, unsure whether to say anything more, before finally blurting out what she was trying to tell him. “But I was disappointed.”
Matt puzzled over her words before he stepped back and sat down on the edge of the couch again. “You were disappointed you weren’t pregnant?”
“Yes, and before you freak out, let me explain.” She eyed him and whatever she saw must have told her he was listening, even though his mind was very muddled. “I know we’re not in any position to start a family or anything, and it would be ridiculous to believe otherwise, since we really are not even dating, but it told me this was something I wanted and something I was ignoring. I don’t want to ignore it anymore and I don’t want to ignore how I feel about you anymore.” She paused and took a steeling breath. “I’m in love with you.”
Silence fell between them as he processed her words. Everything had taken such a drastic turn from believing he had to move on and that Shannon was no longer an option. But here she stood before him, telling him they were still a possibility and not only that, but she loved him. He shook his head as if trying to clear out the cobwebs.
“Tell me what you’re thinking, please. I’m dying here.”
He cleared his throat before grabbing her to place her between his legs. “I’m honestly stunned, Shannon. One second I thought whatever chance we had was gone, that you didn’t want it. Then you show up, tell me you’ve quit your job, and not only do you not want that job anymore, but you want a family and you love me. Honestly, I can’t keep up.”
She swallowed thickly as her eyes dropped. “I understand.”
“Hey,” he said an
d waited until her gaze lifted. “I’m not done. Remember, I did just say I was glad you’re here. I knew in Arizona I had fallen in love with you and that hasn’t changed.”
“Yeah?” she asked with a shy smile.
Whenever she smiled at him like that, he would do anything in the world for this woman. Anything. “Yeah.”
She reached out to run her hand over his cheek, scruffy since he hadn’t bothered to shave in a couple of days. His eyes closed and he let the pleasure of her touch wash over him. Her fingers threaded into his hair before trailing down his neck, and she pressed her soft lips to his temple. When she leaned back, he opened his eyes and the love in her expression made his heart swell with happiness. Everything was finally right.
Chapter 16
A few days later, after Matt left for the ballpark, Shannon had to get off her butt and do something. Sitting around the apartment complex was getting boring and she needed to put her mind to a task. Matt had gotten a ride with one of his teammates, leaving her his truck, so she set out from the apartment to find the closest grocery store. The cupboards in the kitchen were bare since she and Matt had been holed up with him only emerging for practice.
As she drove, she thought about how not only was she going to take the time to find out who she and Matt were as a couple, but she also wanted to figure out who she was. She’d changed so much in the past few months and she had to make sure she was at peace with her choices. No regrets, as Matt always said, and she needed to be solid in her resolve because when she talked with her father—which she’d put off until she got her mind settled, though once the news spread from Mr. Barnes, he would surely blow up her phone—it was going to be difficult to avoid the pressure from him. She wanted to be with Matt and had no doubt in her decision to be with him. She had his full support in everything and he would never do anything to put what they had together in jeopardy. She was so lucky to have him and so thankful she hadn’t lost her chance with him.