Caught (Men of the Show Book 3)

by Rhonda Shaw

  “Been better.”

  Shannon nodded and tried to overlook that he’d yet to ask her how she was, but she wrote it off to the shock of the situation he’d been thrust into. He’d never been so closed-off and distant, and she struggled with what to say, how to snap him out of it.

  She glanced down at his leg, noticing the bandages covering his incisions as well as the metal frame in place to keep it stable. There was obvious swelling and deep purple bruising along the leg, which looked painful to her.

  “How’s the leg? What’s the prognosis?”

  “What are you doing here, Shannon?”

  Her head snapped back sharply at the harshness in his voice, and her eyes immediately welled up. Why wasn’t he even happy to see her?

  “Matt,” she whispered. “What’s going on?”

  He sighed and leaned back, closing his eyes. “Just leave, Shannon. I don’t want to talk about my leg.”

  She stood in shock as he effectively turned his back on her without actually doing so, alarmed at the drastic change. One day they were planning a life together and now it was as if they were strangers. He acted like she’d pulled the trigger, that she was the one who did this to him. She was a victim just as much as he was, so why was he punishing her? His dismissal pissed her off and she swiped angrily at her tears.

  “I don’t know what your problem is, but you’re going to talk to me.” Shannon waited, and when he continued to ignore her, she pressed on. “If you truly meant what you said when you told me you wanted to be with me, that you loved me, then you owe me this much.”

  Matt opened his eyes and glared at her. “I don’t know what you want me to say. Things are a bit fucked up now, as you can see. There’s not much more to say than that.”

  “You don’t even want to tell me why? Why you never told me about her or anything?”

  “What’s the point?” he exclaimed. “I didn’t, all right? There’s not much I can do to change that now. It doesn’t matter anyway. Not anymore. Nothing does.”

  “Nothing?” she repeated. “Nothing matters? Not even me?”

  “Just go,” he said, his tone weary. “I can’t do this now.”

  “When then? If not now, when? It’s not like you’ve tried to reach out to me since we’ve been here. I had to come down here, concussion and fucked-up shoulder and all. And you know why? Because you’re important enough for me to do that.”

  His cool blue eyes locked on hers. “And there’s your answer.”

  Shannon gasped as the tears started to fall again and she didn’t try to stop them.

  Matt finally appeared distraught and he swallowed hard. She could tell he was fighting some emotions, she just didn’t know which. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I…I just can’t think straight right now.”

  “Then what did you mean?”

  “I…just…” He stopped and dropped his head with his eyes closed. When his gaze met hers again, in it was a deep, gut-wrenching ache that tore at her heart. “Look at me,” he whispered.

  “I am, Matt. Tell me what I’m supposed to be seeing, because I am looking at you and I see the same man as I did before.” She reached out to grasp his hand.

  “No.” He pulled his hand away. “No. I’m not the same man and I don’t know if I will ever be again.”

  “No,” she said. “You may not play baseball again, but you are the same man. Someone who’s caring, fun, loving…that’s still you.”

  He shook his head. “No, I’m not. I’m not the same man you fell in love with. He’s gone. You couldn’t…you can’t be…” He stopped, took a deep breath as he collected himself and his eyes turned hard. “It doesn’t matter. My life has been turned upside down. I may never play ball again. Never.”

  Shannon faltered, stumbling slightly as she backed away from the bed. “I see,” was all she said as she finally comprehended the underlying message. Baseball was all that mattered. Nothing else, not even her. “I understand that is all you care about right now. I’m sorry if I thought I somehow was included, but I guess I was wrong.”

  With her shoulders stiff, she stepped out of his room. She continued straight to the elevators, ignoring the tears streaming down her face and the bone-aching hurt threatening to weigh her down. She retraced her steps through the hospital back to the wood bench outside in the sun without seeing anything. She plopped down and sat in a daze, replaying the conversation in her head. Never before would she have characterized Matt as self-centered, but he certainly was acting like a selfish asshole now, and if he only wanted to focus on his issues then she wouldn’t get in his way. She’d given up everything believing he was a different person and now she had nothing. No job, no boyfriend, no direction. Nothing.

  When her parent pulled up to the curb, Shannon caught her father’s sharp eye when he climbed out, a clear sign her life was about to get harder. A lot harder.

  * * *

  Matt lay wide-awake despite it being well past midnight. Darkness filled the hospital room with only a slim beam of light passing between the slits of the blinds. The occasional soft thud of footsteps as someone passed by his closed door broke through the quiet. But even with the dark and the silence, sleep eluded him.

  It might have been expected, given the extreme discomfort with his leg. His movements were restricted and the throbbing unrelenting, the pain, although somewhat dulled by meds, never truly disappearing. But he’d deal with the physical pain, never shied away from it before and, in fact, he spent the majority of his seasons hurting in one way or another. Most catchers did given the physical demands of their position. No, this was a different pain in the form of a big fucking hole in his chest.

  Even if he couldn’t get back with the team this season, he’d been confident he would return to the field next year, but four little words from one of his doctors killed what hope he’d had—never play baseball again. Forget the fact his doctor had said might; it didn’t matter because Matt hadn’t heard anything else.

  Everything else had faded away afterward, leaving him focused on and obsessing over the loss of the game he loved. Simply put, he lived for baseball. If he didn’t have baseball, he didn’t have anything; he didn’t want anything. He wanted to go out on his terms and only then, not a second beforehand. He didn’t want to hear he’d be a great coach or he’d find something else to do in the game. No, fuck that. He was a baseball player, he was a catcher, he was the manager on the field, and he was a goddamn great hitter…that was who he was and he wasn’t ready to change. Not yet, damn it.

  All he could do now was wait. They allowed him to do some minimal leg motions, but they insisted he use crutches because they didn’t want him putting too much weight on his leg yet. As soon as evidence of new bone formation appeared, they would take the crutches away—or at least limit their use—and go from there. Literally one agonizing day at a time with no way of telling what lay ahead. Nobody knew anything and it was all so fucking unfair.

  His only fault in this was getting involved with Natalie. That was it. Everything else, he’d been by the book and look where that got him. He vacillated between being pissed beyond belief and overwhelmed with grief for all he might lose. More MVPs awaited him, a Triple Crown, the award for leading the league in three batting categories, lingered just out of his grasp waiting for him to get his batting average up, and the Rockets still had a pennant to win. All of those accomplishments and more remained for him in the game of baseball, and it was what he was going to do, even if it killed him.

  He’d failed in getting Shannon to understand this, unable to convey how distraught he was. She deserved answers to everything, especially about Natalie, but he didn’t even know what to say given the circumstances. Sorry? That was a weak and lame apology. So instead, he avoided the conversation just as he had from day one when Jason told him to tell Shannon everything. Telling her everything now would only make him look even more like a failure to her. He would rather have her hate him than think he was weak and a big disappointm
ent. That would absolutely kill him.

  Plus, so much anger swirled within him at Natalie and what she’d done. It wasn’t fair to Shannon to have to deal with what he almost couldn’t handle, especially when it wasn’t focused at her, but he lacked the ability to separate one from the other. With so much negative energy surrounding him, he had no room for anything else, had no desire to feel anything else.

  Despite fantasizing about ways to retaliate against Natalie, Matt would let the justice system do its job and, in the meantime, he would do his, which meant getting back on the field as quick as possible. He hoped Shannon realized he still loved her, wanted to be with her, even if he didn’t exactly know how to tell her as much in his messed-up state. He should have handled her visit better, should have been more excited to see her, should have asked her how she was feeling. He simply wasn’t able to focus on anything other than his fierce rage at Natalie and the three words screaming in his head day and night—baseball career over.

  His throat tightened with emotion.

  Matt glanced at his cell phone on the table and, as he had multiple times before, contemplated calling Shannon. He missed hearing her voice, talking to her and being with her, but he couldn’t. What stopped him each time, he couldn’t say, but whatever it was, it overwhelmed him, and he wanted to stay hidden in his hospital room. He didn’t want to face anything. He didn’t want to deal with anything. He only wanted one thing—baseball.

  Chapter 19

  Shannon sat in a chair on the small porch attached to the condo her parents had rented, staring across the courtyard, but unfocused. She tried to think about things, to figure everything out and understand what had happened. But all she could do was stare. She couldn’t concentrate and she definitely couldn’t put the pieces together. All she knew was she’d made a life-changing decision in order to pursue a relationship with the man she’d believed to be the love of her life only to end up empty-handed. And no matter how she tried, she couldn’t understand how the blame had landed on her shoulders.

  Yes, Matt’s current situation was horrible, and she understood the devastation he had to be experiencing, but why was he taking it out on her? Why was he turning his back on her when they needed each other now more than ever? The threat Shannon hadn’t even known about no longer existed as Natalie waited behind bars, but Shannon didn’t understand the reasons behind it all, and the lack of answers left a lingering fear. The details provided by the police when they’d spoken with her in the hospital were sketchy at best, but they weren’t enough. She needed more from Matt and she didn’t know what hurt most—how he’d kept it all from her or how he’d pushed her away.

  Perhaps their relationship, too new and too fragile, could never survive something such as this. Even though they loved each other, this was too much to overcome. As much as his dismissal hurt and as much as it went against what she wanted, she wouldn’t force herself on someone who didn’t want her. Message received. Now what?

  Now she needed to figure out how to put her life back together, what she was going to do and where she would go from here. Trying to make any decisions, however, was daunting since all she wanted was Matt. She struggled with thinking about anything else.

  The screen door opened and her father stepped out, stiff and formal. The time for their “talk” had finally arrived. They hadn’t said much to each other since her release. Their conversations had centered on safe topics such as her health and recovery or speculations on the charges against Natalie, most likely first-degree attempted murder. He never asked about Matt, her job or how she’d ended up in Florida. Her father had to be livid with her choices of late, but he’d continued to keep his disappointment from her.

  Dressed casually, for him, in gray slacks and a white dress shirt without a tie, he sat down in the chair next to her, tugged at his pant crease and crossed his ankle over his knee. He didn’t say anything, but he was only taking the time to choose his words carefully. She glanced behind him and her mother stood inside on the other side of the door, wringing her hands.

  Awesome. Shannon took a deep breath in preparation.

  He cleared his throat. “We need to talk about some things.”

  “Things?”

  “Yes, things. For one, why did you quit your job? Secondly, why would you quit for a young man who obviously doesn’t care at all for you?”

  “I didn’t quit my job for him. Well not entirely,” she amended.

  “Of course you did. You’ve been working your whole life for this opportunity until he came along and somehow smooth-talked you into resigning.”

  She frowned. “Smooth-talked me? I do have a brain, you know. I know my own mind.”

  “It doesn’t appear that way.”

  “Excuse me—”

  “I can’t understand how you would turn your back on all your dreams like that. All that work you did, for what? Nothing, that’s for what.”

  She slouched down in her chair as her head started to pound. “I’ll figure it out, okay?”

  Without a job, her place in Chicago was no longer affordable, but she didn’t want to live in the city anyway. With her new niece or nephew on the way, Shannon wanted to remain close, which meant moving back to Michigan, but she would have to move in with her parents until she got her life together—if her father would even let her. This was probably not the best time to ask.

  “Mr. Buck is lucky I can’t file a civil suit against him, or else I’d take him for everything. The negligence he’s shown by not informing you he’d filed a restraining order against that girl is abhorrent.”

  “I’m sure there was no malice on his part…”

  But part of her did blame Matt for putting her in this situation by failing to tell her anything. There had been plenty of opportunities to inform her about Natalie, but he’d never once broached it.

  “Why are you standing up for him?” he demanded. “He obviously had no thoughts toward your well-being. The fact of the matter is he’d filed a PPO against her, so he knew she was a possible danger. Did he tell you about that? No, he didn’t and now look at where you are.”

  She didn’t believe in evil intent on his part, but simply negligence and outright stupidity. But Matt wasn’t stupid and he wasn’t careless, so she just couldn’t make sense of it.

  “Yes, this sucks, but I think he got the short end of the stick on this one. He did, not me.”

  “I don’t care about him. I care about you, my daughter. Not some lowlife baseball player.”

  “Dad…”

  “Stop.” He stood and scowled down at her. “He’s done enough damage to your life, and now we’re left here picking up the pieces. Somehow he convinced you to quit your job and give up all your dreams, and this is how he repays you?”

  She started to shake her head, but stopped when the movement only made it throb more. “No, he didn’t. I did that on my own. I’ve told you that.”

  “We’ll get you back to Michigan as soon as we can,” he continued as if she hadn’t said anything. “We’ll have to discuss whether we should press charges against her, obviously, but we’ll get you back on the right track,” he said, ignoring her attempts to interject. “Unfortunately, you’ve ruined your chances at Bickles, Bickles and Barnes, but I have some other colleagues I can call on. Some equally well-known firms in Michigan. Not quite the same scale as BB&B, but nothing to frown upon either.”

  “Please, stop…” she protested, but he held up his hand, stopping her.

  “That’s it, Shannon. There’s nothing more to say. I’m not happy with your decisions lately, but you’re my daughter, and so I’ll make this right. I won’t have you giving up on the dreams you’ve worked so hard for. I won’t sit by and watch you be unhappy.”

  He gave her his back and walked inside, putting the conversation to bed. Shannon’s mother whispered to him as he stepped past her, but he shook her off, declaring everything was set.

  No, it wasn’t set. This wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want to be witho
ut Matt. She didn’t want to get a job in some other law firm that sucked the life out of her. She didn’t want to leave without answers. All of that would make her unhappy, the one thing he said he didn’t want.

  But it didn’t matter what Shannon wanted. Nobody wanted to listen to her or give her the answers she needed. Her dad didn’t and Matt certainly didn’t. No matter what she said, her father wouldn’t listen. All he cared about was how he was going to fix everything, and she could do nothing but watch as the storm blew by.

  Maybe she shouldn’t even try to stop him. Maybe her decisions with Matt had been too on the whim and dictated by a simple attraction blown out of proportion. She’d simply been at a low point in her life, looking for something to provide spark, a distraction to the negativity and discontent muddling within her. Maybe her father really did know best.

  But Matt was the most caring person she knew and that was what made everything so much harder to understand. She was so confused and all she wanted to know was why.

  Unfortunately, answers didn’t seem to coming any time soon. Shoved away by Matt, she didn’t know how to reconnect with him or even if she could. The one person she’d believed she could have it all with had turned her world to nothing, sending her back to square one with no idea where to go from there.

  * * *

  Collapsing on the couch in his condo, Matt launched one crutch across the room into the vertical blinds. He took a deep breath and fisted his hands in his hair, barely restraining himself from pulling a hunk out of his head.

  Six weeks had passed and he still couldn’t walk without a limp. The bone had healed enough, allowing him to put some weight on his leg, but only for a short amount of time. He’d foolishly believed everything would be a breeze once he got here. Sure he’d known therapy would be difficult, since he had to rebuild the strength in his leg again, but he understood the hard work ahead of him and he wasn’t afraid of physical pain or putting in the hours needed. Because, in his mind, if he got through the difficult part, then he could play ball again, which was all that mattered.