by Janeal Falor
“It's not a job I wanted.”
He cocks his head to the side. “If you didn't, why did you drink the Mortum Tura?”
“It's not like you'd understand.”
“Try me.” His voice is dry.
“I'd rather not.”
He sighs. “For wanting me as your advisor, you sure don't give me a lot of information.”
“You're the one who’s supposed to give me information,” I say, hoping to deter him from wanting to know me better.
“But if you'd tell me more, I could give you better, more accurate information.”
“I'm not telling you more, no matter how hard you try to get me to.”
“It might feel good to open up to someone.”
“I'm not doing it.”
“I don't want to fight. Let's continue with the lesson. Who came after Timit?”
I'd rather keep fighting. It's so much more interesting than politics. But we continue on with the names and positions anyway. How it all correlates together and what I need to do about it. Time creeps by at a pace a snail could beat.
My answers become automatic, even if not always right, but I'm not focusing on what's going on. There are too many other things to worry about for me to care who is called what. Such as who's trying to kill me and how they’re getting to me.
“And who is Jaku?” Nash asks.
“That I remember. Head of the Guard. Arrange a meeting with him for me.”
He lifts an eyebrow but says, “As you wish.”
There's yet another knock on the door, this one a swift, sure two-pound knock. Nash moves to answer it. I straighten my shoulders and hold my lips tight together.
Nash admits Ranen into the sitting room where I venture in, followed by several footmen carrying chairs and a sofa. I want to gush over how comfortable they look. Instead, I hold my position and let them take the old furniture away.
“Where would you like the new furniture, my lady?” Ranen asks, voice brisk.
“As it was before.” Because I don't know what else to tell him.
A footman and Ranen spend the next several minutes rearranging the furniture. I have to hold myself back to keep from helping them. I'm not used to keeping from such tasks.
Then again, I'm not used to a lot of things.
When they’re finished, Ranen bows at me. “I hope Your Ladyship approves of the new furniture. I have begun to have new ones installed around the palace.”
“Very well. You can go,” I say.
He narrows his eyes at me, deep-seated anger burning in his gaze. But still, he bows again and makes his way out of my sitting room.
“Finally.” I plop down into the closest chair. “Much better.”
Nash remains standing, giving me a look I have a hard time understanding.
“What is it?” I demand.
“He's trying to win back your good graces, and you ignored all he's done.”
The usual feeling of shame burns through me at having done something wrong, but I was taught long ago not to show it. “I don't care for the man.”
“No one does, but he holds many favors from different people both in and out of government. You'd do well to treat him better. I fear you're making an enemy of him, and that could have dire consequences.”
I shrug him off. “Let them try to kill me.”
“They already are.”
I clamp my mouth shut, looking for something to change the subject to. There's a glimmer as a ring on his finger catches the sunlight streaming in through the window. “Where did you get that ring? It doesn't seem like something a guard would have,” I say.
He hesitates a moment. “It's not. It was given to me by my father.”
“Do you mind if I look at it?”
He holds his hand out to me. It's a silver ring, chunky and masculine even while it holds a ruby in the center of it. It's not gaudy, but neither is it plain.
“Why would your father give you such an item if you have no cause to use it as a guard?” I ask.
His hesitation is longer this time. “Technically, he didn't give it to me. He died, and my mother insisted I have it, as his only son.”
I don't know what to say to that. I study the ring, wondering what stories it possesses. What it knows about Nash. “I'm sorry you lost your father. Do you want to tell me about it?”
He drops his hand. “It was to almaca.”
The disease that often kills those who contract it. “During the famine or more recently?”
“It was last year.” His voice is so quiet; I strain to hear him.
Yet another knock interrupts the moment. As Nash goes to open it, I resume my pretentious royal posture, hoping it's not Ranen back again. I'm not ready to play nice with him. I doubt I ever will be.
Nash turns to me. “There's a visitor here to see you. He says he knows you, but he's not from the palace. He's got enough rank that he made it all the way up here and requested an audience.”
I refrain from biting my lip. “I know no one.” Except one person. One I never wanted to see again.
Nash lifts an eyebrow. “Should I send him away?”
I open my mouth to say yes, but what comes out is, “No. Let him in.”
My knees shake as Nash moves aside so the person can come in.
It’s as I feared.
My old master walks into the room.
Chapter 15
“Nash, out.” My knees shake harder, but I keep my voice firm.
Though he looks like he'd rather stay, Nash gives a bow and is out the door.
“What are you doing here?” I demand of Daros.
My old master is in his prime, rounded but with hidden muscles. He has shrewd dark eyes under thick eyebrows. More worrisome are his hidden cunning and cruelty. “You didn't think I would stay away,” he says.
“I left you, Daros. Washed my hands of anything to do with you.”
“And yet, you came here. Took the Mortum Tura. Became queen.”
I stand, pulling myself up to my full height. “I did what I had to do.”
He smirks. “And look where it got you.”
My knees shake so bad now, I'm afraid I'm going to fall back into my chair. At least my skirts are full enough to hide it. Never thought I'd be happy about such full skirts, though they’re also useful for hiding weapons.
“What do you want?” My words come out more as a hiss than speech, but I can't help it.
“What do you think I want?” He smirks like he has me right where he wants me.
I have to fight against him. I did it once. Can I do it again? “There's nothing here for you.”
He steps closer, his height towering over me. I want to shrink. To collapse. Instead, I force myself to remain steady and tall.
“Everything I want is here, at your finger tips,” he says.
My breath is coming in short gasps. At my fingertips. He wants to control me. I can't handle this.
But I have to. If he gains command of me again, what will happen? To the country? An assassin queen? The Shadow Wraith as their ruler? No one will want me around—not that they do anyway, but it will be worse if I'm under his control. If I'm killing for him again.
“This is perfect. I groomed you to be a leader, and a leader you are,” Daros says.
The last thing he groomed me to be is a leader. He may have taught me to emulate those around me. To blend in or stand out, depending on the needs. To fight for my life. But to lead? No. Not that. He was too busy stomping all over me whenever I did something wrong.
“You are right. I'm the queen. Get out and never come back,” I say.
“Do you really think you can get rid of me so easily when I know all your secrets?”
I need to hold onto something, but the short table before me is of no use. I want to fall onto it and cry.
But there's no crying.
Not ever.
“You think you know my secrets,” I counter. I wonder what would happen if I called to have him arrested. He'd
probably kill me before I finished the sentence.
He scoots closer. “You've been hiding things from me?” He reaches for where I know he hides one of his many daggers.
I work to keep my breathing even. To not flinch or show a shred of the turmoil rumbling inside me.
“Never mind.” He moves his hand away from his dagger. “I know enough. You will let me into your new life sooner or later. Now, about the law concerning taxes…”
He's going to try to control me again.
“What could you want to change about the laws?” The words spew from me. “Wait. I don't want to know. I don't want to have anything to do with you.”
Before I know it, a blade is pressed against my gut.
“You will do what I tell you to.” His voice is low. Menacing.
I can't help it. I laugh—a cold, unfeeling sound. “Or what? You'll kill me? Don't you think there's a reason I'm here?”
He takes his time sheathing his dagger. “There are worse things I could do than kill you.”
Without meaning to, I shrink back. He gives a low chuckle and threads his fingers through my hair before yanking it back. He brings his face close to mine as I work not to clench my jaw. To not give way to the pain ratcheting through me.
“You are as weak as ever. You’re nothing without me to command you, and you know it.” He releases me with a jerk.
I stumble and knock into my chair before balancing myself. The threat of what he could do to me is enough to make me back down. To make me want to give into all of his demands.
But I promised not to kill again.
And now, I promise not to let him have control of my country. For it is mine.
I straighten to my full height, ignoring the roiling in my stomach. “You are not welcome here.”
“Do not go trying to boss me around, girl. Just because you escaped from me once doesn't mean you have any hold over me. I'm the one with all the power, no matter what you may try.”
“No. No more.” My voice is halting.
“Don't you dare talk to me like that. You will listen to what I have to say and will follow through.”
Putting all my might into it, I shove him away. He wavers, mouth hanging open.
“No,” I say again. The word is stronger this time. Firm.
“You will not stand up to me.” He takes a step forward, once again reaching for his dagger.
“Nash,” I call out, hoping he can hear me. My heart drums within my chest.
The door bursts open. “Yes, my lady?”
“See to it that this… gentleman is shown off the property. Get some guards to do it.” I tuck my hands into the folds of my skirt so their trembling can't be seen.
“Of course, Your Majesty.”
“You'll regret this,” Daros says, voice low enough only I can hear.
“I think not,” I say.
Nash grabs my old master by the upper arm and yanks him out the door. I hear Nash out in the hall say, “Take him out to the streets and see that he doesn't return anytime soon.”
I'm grateful for Nash taking it further than my fear let me go, though I doubt it will stop Daros from getting what he wants out of me. He always does, whatever his goal is—something to do with the new law concerning taxes, getting his Shadow Wraith back, and control. Who wouldn't want control over a kingdom?
Besides me. Except, I might not want it, but I think I’ll be all right with it.
I'm even more grateful that Nash passed the duty onto another guard. He comes back in the room, shuts the door, and hurries over to me. I fall back into the chair, and Nash kneels beside me. I feel sick, like I'm going to lose the contents of my stomach any second now.
“Did he hurt you?”
I laugh—a cold sound. “As much as he could in the few minutes he had.”
Nash begins looking me over for injuries. “Where is it? I'll have his head.”
“He didn't physically injure me,” I say, though that doesn't stop him from touching me. It feels nice. I didn't know another person’s touch could feel so…
Tender.
Soft.
Awakening.
It's unfathomable, and yet, I feel it. I don't understand.
Finally he seems satisfied that I really am not injured, and he lets go of me with a jolt. “Sorry. I shouldn't touch you. Please forgive me.”
I shrug. Not like I'm about to tell anyone, after what that felt like. “It's forgotten and will stay that way for everyone.” It’s not like I’m about to have the first person I almost trust killed off just because our skin came in contact.
“Thank you.” He meets my gaze, searching for something. “Who was that?”
“No one of importance.”
“By the way you were trembling you can't tell me that.”
I pull my shoulders back. “No one of importance. We'll leave it at that.” If only I could keep him that way. Daros was like a father to me. A cruel father, but one nevertheless.
My everything.
My world.
I let him teach me things no one should learn. Make me do things no one should do. And now I hate myself for it.
Though not as much as I hate him.
Chapter 16
Nash is polite, but distant. I wonder what he's thinking, but it's hard to focus on that. My jitters from seeing Daros are too great. I shouldn’t have let him enter. It doesn't matter, though. Even if I didn’t let him in, he’d find a way to me, and it would end much worse.
Not that I left him on a good note. He's bound to be raging now. I clench my fists just thinking about it. I've dealt with his wrath too many times for it not to affect me.
There's a knock at the door of my sitting room. I clamp my jaw shut. They wouldn't let Daros back in, would they? He can't have gotten his claws in the guards this fast. Unless they were there to begin with.
I stand, unwilling to face him sitting down. I force my fists to relax, taking three even breaths to calm myself.
“That should be Jaku, Head of the Guard,” Nash says, speaking for the first time in several minutes. “He's here for the meeting you requested. Would you like me to leave you to it?”
I'm so thankful it's not Daros. I sink into my seat. There's a note of something in Nash's voice. A distance. I wonder if I hurt his feelings, sending him away when I was agitated before. “Please remain.”
His lips twitch, but that's the only hint I get to what he's thinking. He bows deep from the waist and goes to open the door. “Presenting Jaku Hanka, Your Majesty.”
Jaku walks in, his presence commanding, if not as great as Daros's. He has dark-brown eyes, brown hair, and a smile that doesn't look as if it belongs to the Head of the Guard. It’s too sweet. Nash shuts the door behind him.
Jaku bows. After I tell him to stand, he says, “Your Majesty wishes to speak with me.”
“I did. Sit.” He chooses the chair directly across from mine, though it's the whole length or the room away, and I continue. “I want to know why the assassins were able to attack me.”
He pales but doesn't shrink. “I'm afraid Your Majesty can lay the blame on me. Our guards noticed nothing out of the ordinary. All I can think is that the first used a secret path that is unknown to me. The second one broke through our lines, knocking out the guards so they couldn't come after him.”
“Are his words true, Nash?”
If Nash is surprised by my inviting him into the conversation, he doesn't show it. “He speaks the truth, My Lady. I was on guard that day and saw nothing out of the ordinary. I questioned those around me, but no one else saw anything either.”
He went so far as to question his peers. Interesting. Perhaps I was wiser than I thought, picking him as Head Advisor. Not that I put much thought into it, other than the feeling that I could trust him. It's probably wrong; that feeling always is. Still, I don't regret it.
“How can we find these secret tunnels, to keep this from happening again?” I put my life on the line enough as it is. I don't want someone el
se taking it from me. At least, that's what my actions say.
“There's no guarantee we will find something new, Your Majesty,” Jaku says. “Forgive me for being so forward, but people have been trying for generations to find all the secret passageways in and out of this place, and they have yet to succeed.”
“I prefer forward people. I feel we must try to find those passages, though. In places I will frequent, if not elsewhere as well.”
A muscle in Jaku's cheek twitches, but he appears calm otherwise. “I promise to do what I can, Your Majesty.”
Is that enough? “What do you think, Nash?”
“I agree with Jaku. We can do our best.”
“The first time I was attacked was in the queen’s bathing area, and no one saw anything suspicious. Either someone is lying or there is at least one secret tunnel in there.” Not that I will ever go back there. As relaxing as the bath was, I don't trust the place.
“I will send my best men to comb the area,” Jaku says. “Except for Nash, as I recently had to relinquish him to you.” He sounds rather put out.
“Nash has been a great asset.” Though he bombards me with boring information, he's the only person in this place who seems to care enough to give me that information. Whether or not I'm interested in it or ready to use it is a different question entirely.
“I'm certain he has been, Your Highness,” Jaku says.
I study the Head of the Guard. Is he hiding something? Silly question—everyone is hiding something. But is he hiding something that could affect my life? No way to tell. He holds my gaze steady and surely doesn’t act like a common criminal. He probably has enough experience to obscure such things.
“If you're certain there's nothing else you'd like to add, Jaku, you're free to go,” I say.
He stands and bows. “Please let me know if there's any further way I can assist you, Your Majesty.”
Nash opens the door for him, then closes it after him. “Forgive me, my lady. I didn't know you were going to question him on the attack.”
“What did you think I wanted?”
“Truthfully, I thought you were going to release him from his position.”
“Why would I do that?”