by Janeal Falor
“If you’re sure.” She moves to make the bed.
I feel guilty, having her do so, but she gets mad when I do it. Says I’m going to put her out of a job. I can’t have one of my very few friends not be around anymore, so I let her have her way. “Positive.”
I almost ask her why she stays around me, but I stop myself. What if it’s only because it’s her job? Besides, this morning I’m focusing on Daros. His capture—if not by me, then by anyone else. He can’t hide forever if he’s going to stay in my country.
After giving my goodbyes, I make my way out into the sitting room, and then the hall. Guards line the corridor, dressed in their steel plates, black capes, pants, and high boots. Jaku is among them. Nash is not.
“I thought you’d be here for an early start,” Jaku says. “I’ve got guards undercover as people out in the crowds today. Probably the only people out and about this early. Are these enough to join you as the royal guard?”
Too many. “They should do. Where’s Nash?”
Jaku shrugs, looking casual, but his eyes tighten with what looks like worry. “I haven’t seen him this morning.”
My gut wrenches. For a moment, I’m back to the day he was taken. Before that, he was always ready before I was. I steady myself. He’s likely still in bed. Ever since he was brought back, he’s been sleeping in as much. I thought it was because he wasn’t my Head Advisor, and he felt awkward being around, but now he’s resumed his duties, I can’t be certain.
“Very well.” I almost say we’ll go without him, but I can’t bring myself to. I want him near, not just because I enjoy being with me, but also because of his skills and his discerning thoughts. “We’ll go fetch him, then.”
Jaku nods. The guards fall in order around me as we head out. Those around me are familiar, even if I don’t know all of their names. Julina, Eldim, Afet, and Jaku, I know by name. Wilric is absent, hopefully on the errand I sent him on and not out as one of the guards in the crowd.
We make our way through the palace, taking the shortest path possible to get to the barracks. The way is silent. I’m lonely, despite being surrounded by others. I’m grateful it’s early, and we don’t pass anyone in the halls.
Especially Shillian and Carver.
The grounds outside have a little more action. Guards are sparing, practicing, and patrolling. There are more now than ever before. Jaku insist, after Nash was found and Ranen almost killed him. He seems to think my life and the lives of those around me are in danger all the time. Then again, maybe that’s how Jaku got his position. And maybe that’s why Daros hasn’t been able to kidnap another person close to me. Ranen may have been the main culprit behind the last kidnapping, but Daros was there and knew hurting someone close to me worked. It wouldn’t surprise me if he tried it again.
Perhaps it’s time to give Jaku a raise.
We head straight for the commander’s barracks, where Nash lives. After he healed from his more serious injuries, he insisted in moving out of the palace and back to his old room. As we near, I hear a man scream.
I don’t think. I run.
I shove my way past the guards, who must be too stunned to do anything? The fact that they aren't moving doesn't make me stop and think; it makes me move faster. Adrenaline makes my flight quick. My guards’ footsteps thud after me, and Jaku calls me back, but I press on.
If that’s Nash…
Someone could be hurting him again or trying to take him. I have to get to him. I have to save him from more harm. I rush through the open door, boots pounding on the wooden floor. The screaming gets louder.
I have a throwing dagger out, ready to use. With the other hand, I open the door to Nash’s room. It slams against the wall.
My heart sinks past my feet. No one is attacking Nash. He’s thrashing in bed, calling out in his sleep. I heave a sigh, wishing there was something I could do. He’s having a nightmare.
“Nash,” I call out, wishing I could wake him. With the others trailing in the room after me, it would be his death sentence if I touched him. “Nash.”
When he doesn’t respond, I turn to the closest guard. Julina. “Wake him.”
She doesn’t speak, just acts. She’s by his side in an instant, shaking him awake while softly calling his name. His eyes pop open, a glassiness to them, and his hand darts out and takes Julina by the neck. Afet jumps forward and tries to pry her free from Nash’s grip.
My stomach roils. “It’s all right, Nash. It’s us. You were having a nightmare.”
His face is white as he punches Afet in the face.
Afet darts back.
“Nash!” I scream at the top of my lungs.
Finally, he stops. The glaze over his eyes fades. His face grows paler as he lets go of Julina, who gasps for air and coughs. His voice is small. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
She waves him away, even as she continues coughing.
Afet’s gaze darts from me to Nash.
I kneel by Julina but make certain not to touch her. Not being able to touch anyone that's not assisting me with something important to my daily needs or my life is a pain. “Are you all right?”
She nods and chokes out, “Fine.”
“Afet? You?” I ask.
“I’m good.”
I glance at Nash, who’s looking at the wall away from us. “Everyone out. Take care of Julina and Afet. Speak of this to no one.”
“Your Majesty, I must insist on staying with you,” Jaku says.
“He’s awake. No one else is in here. I’ll be fine.”
He opens his mouth but closes it again and helps Julina out of the room. I shut the door after them and turn back to Nash. He’s still looking away from me, the covers twisted around his legs. He’s wearing a thin night shirt and pants. The fewest clothes I’ve seen him in. I knew he had muscles, but they’re even more apparent without his armor on. My cheeks heat as my gaze flits over him.
I turn my gaze away, a quick look at his room. There’s not much here other than the bed, just a dresser with small knickknacks carved out of wood. Did he make those? Or someone else?
“Nash?” I keep my voice soft.
“I don’t want you here.” His words are ragged.
I recoil.
He’s hurting. How would I feel if I awoke to find myself choking a friend? Ashamed and embarrassed. Is that what he’s feeling?
“It’s all right. I’ll leave. We heard screaming and came to see what was wrong,” I say.
“I’m fine.”
Clearly. “Are you still planning on going to town with us?” With me?
He lets out a great sigh, which moves his broad chest. I want to rest my head there. Give him comfort and whisper words of encouragement.
But I’m all too aware that he doesn’t want me here.
“I need to change, and then I’ll be out.” His voice is hoarse.
“All right. I’ll be outside.” I ache to touch him, but after the way he treated Afet and Julina and the way he’s acting now, I’m scared, too. Not that he’ll hurt me, but that he’ll reject me.
I give him one last glance—he’s still staring at that stupid wall—and leave the room.
Chapter 5
A short time later that feels like too long, Nash comes out in his soldier’s garb. My heart skips a beat. He’s so nice to look at. Unfortunately, my heart also gives a painful twist at the thought of what he’s going through. The pain he must feel. The dark circles under his eyes. How long have they been there?
He won’t even look at me. Or anyone else, for that matter. His gaze is somewhere off in the distance. Still, he comes to stand by me. That must mean something.
I hope.
We move together as a group, Jaku leading the way and everyone else surrounding me. I hope they don’t expect us to stay this way the whole time we’re out there. I’ll never be able to talk to the people if I can’t reach them. Yelling as a way to communicate doesn’t seem like a good way to get things started.
We
make our way through the open portcullis, and the guards keep it up after we leave in case we need to make a quick return, though many of them guard the entrance.
The air feels fresher out here than it does in the palace gardens. Cleaner. Freer. Yet there’s a cloud hanging over Nash. I wish I could take his hand into mine, feel his skin, calm him, and help him like he’s helped me.
Instead, I focus on going forward. On my people, who start to come into view. They stop and stare as we pass by. I want to talk to them, but I’ll wait until the crowd gets larger. Still, I make myself smile. They simply stare back.
It's more crowded the closer we get to the market, but not as many as would be here later in the day. A few of them look familiar—they are guards out of their uniform. We don’t need to talk to them; they know how dangerous Daros is. I only hope that’s not because they’re secretly working for him.
“Who do you want to speak with first?” Jaku asks.
I don’t know where to start. At this point, those gathered in the market are staring at us even harder.
“Why don’t we start with the shop owners?” Nash asks. “They will get word around well, especially if we buy something from them.”
“Excellent idea.” I’m grateful I thought to bring coins along. I walk to the nearest stall, and the guards around me clear a path, so I can look at the merchandise. They remain close, Nash and Jaku flanking me.
“Your Majesty,” the male shopkeeper says with a bow. “How may I be of service to you today?”
How does he know I’m the queen? I figured everyone was staring because of our big group, not because I'm queen, but there has to be something. Ah—I’m wearing a tiara. Not my choice, but maybe it was a good idea. The city will see me for who I am and hopefully take my warning seriously.
I look over his wares—all sorts of candlesticks and candlestick holders.
The shopkeeper notices my attention and says, “We have the finest candles in all of Valcora.”
Usually, when someone says that they’re the best, they’re far from it, but I take a candlestick that looks appealing. It’s short, fat, and a cream color. “I’d like this, to use by my bedside at night. How much is it?”
“For you, it is free.”
“I insist on paying. What is the cost?”
“It is an honor to serve the queen in any way I can. Please, take it.”
I want to argue, but when he puts it like that, it’s hard to counter. At least someone here seems to like me. “Thank you,” I say.
“It is my pleasure. Would you like me to wrap it for you?”
“Please.”
He takes the candle from me and wraps it in cloth, before handing it back to me.
“This is perfect.” I don’t know how to broach the subject I want to get into, so I jump right to it. “I was wondering if you could help me with something else.”
“Whatever Your Majesty desires.” He gives another little bow.
“There is a man—a very dangerous man—by the name of Daros Durkin. Are you familiar with him?”
The shopkeeper’s gaze darts around. He clearly knows something but is uncomfortable.
“You can tell me. You don’t have to be ashamed of whatever it is,” I say.
He clears his throat. “Ah, right. I understand he is the one who outed you as the Shadow Wraith.” His voice shakes on the last two words.
Maybe he’s not giving me something out of respect, but out of fear. Not what I want. “Yes. He did do that.” My voice is soft. I strengthen it. “He escaped our dungeons before.”
“I had heard that.”
“Have you heard how dangerous he is? That Daros will find a man’s weakness and use it against him in any way he sees fit?”
The shopkeeper shakes his head.
“I want people to appreciate how very dangerous he is. We need any news you hear of him reported, even if he threatens you. The crown will protect you.” I show him a drawing I had done of Daros.
After looking at it, he puts his palms together and bows his head over them. “Forgive me for being so impertinent, Your Highness, but if you can’t protect yourself and those close to you, how are you to protect anyone else?”
I wipe all expression from my face.
“Her Majesty has that power and more,” Nash answers for me.
“Until Daros is apprehended and sentenced, we will place anyone with information in the palace, if they wish to stay there, as long as that information is accurate.”
He bows again. He bows far too often. He says, “I will keep that in mind and spread the news to my customers.”
“Thank you.” I take my leave of his stall, hoping the rest of the shopkeepers we visit will not be so invasive.
The next stall holds cloth. Wool, from the looks of things. I should have brought my ladies-in-waiting. They would be the perfect addition to this group while shopping. No matter. They aren’t here, so I’ll have to do my best. I’m not sure I want to place them in extra danger, anyway. It’s one thing to send them out with guards, but another to have them accompany me and the dangers that come with being by my side.
I run my fingers across some gray material. The market becomes more crowded, with people still staring at me. I pick up the gray piece of cloth and show it to the woman at the stall. “This is fine wool. It would make a wonderful cloak for use in the winter. How much?”
Her face is stern as she names a price far above what I know it costs and adds a Your Majesty that sounds almost sarcastic to the end of it.
Do I call her out on it or pay her? The assassin in me wants to call her out. Instead, I hand her the amount she asked for. She smirks and pockets the coins.
“I heard what you said to Derlyn. Is it true that Daros is dangerous?” she asks.
“He is. We’re hoping to thwart the worst of the problems he could cause.”
“Hmm.”
I show her the image. “If you or any of your customers have news, they can pass it along to any guard or bring it to me personally. As I told Derlyn”—who I assume was the shopkeeper I just spoke with—“we will do everything in our power to keep them safe.”
“I’ll pass on the word.” Though she sounds like she’d rather hammer a nail in her own foot.
I wonder if she’ll spread the word. If any of them will.
I continue talking to shopkeepers and show them the image—some more enthused than others, especially when I buy something from them. I end up purchasing a bag to store all my purchases. It will hamper a fight, if there’s to be one, but I can drop it.
If Indell—the capital of Valcora—seems to have such negative opinions of me, I wonder what the rest of the country thinks.
We’re finishing up at the last vendor, my bag heavy with items, when a young man who’s all limbs comes up to my guards and requests to speak with me. I move closer, so there’s only a guard between us. “Can I help you?”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” he says with a bow. “I thought you would want to know that I think I spotted Daros.”
My heart gives a little flop. “What did this man look like? When did you spot him?”
“It’s been some time.” He looks down, rubbing the toe of his foot against ground. “Last week. He was wearing a brown cloak. He had thick eyebrows and dark eyes, and he was thinner than fashionable.”
The thinner part doesn’t sound right. I can’t imagine him anything other than rounded with fat and muscles. Still, I can’t let this go without looking into it. “Where did you see him?”
“At the Red Lady Inn.”
I glance at Jaku, who is already whispering to another guard, and he gives me a nod. I turn my attention back to the young man. “Thank you for your information on this. Would you like us to take you back to the palace to keep you safe?”
He shakes his head. “I’ll be fine. I’m living with my brothers, who are burly. Besides, Daros looked like he was heading out of town.”
“What makes you say that?”
“He
had a large pack with him. Plus, the Red Lady Inn is on your way out of town.”
Or he could be coming into town—if it even is him. “Thank you for your information.” I hand him some coins, which he takes. “If you change your mind about staying at the palace, please let a servant know. I'll send word to be on the lookout for you.”
“I will.” He nods. “Thank you for being good to us and lowering taxes, Your Majesty.”
When I got around to it, anyway. “You’re welcome.”
He leaves, and Jaku comes to my side. He says, “I’ve got my men on it.”
“Please report their findings to me. Though I’m not certain it was him.”
“The description was a little different than what I saw at your ball, but it’s worth checking out.”
I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed. “Thank you for your work on this.”
“It’s my job. Now let’s get you back to the palace. If Daros is running around Indell, we don’t want to make you an easy target.”
I want to protest, but he’s probably right. Besides, my stomach is growling. I may have grown soft, being fed on a regular basis, but I like it.
As we head back to the palace, I wonder if more of my countrymen are going to be grateful I lowered taxes, like that man, even if I switched back and forth until I came to a final decision. Or they may be like some of the others we met today and not want to talk with me. Whether that’s out of fear or disdain, I have a long way to go.
Chapter 6
There’s a knock on my sitting room door before a servant opens it and says, “Jem, Your Majesty.”
“Show her in.” I wiggle back in my chair and get comfortable.
A moment later, Jem walks in with two more servants who carry what looks like a painting accompanied by the man who is the painter. I have an inkling I don’t want to see it.
Jem is expressionless as she says, “Are you ready for the unveiling of your portrait, Your Highness?”
It’s what I was afraid of. “Certainly.”
She motions to the servants, and they walk around until the image is facing me. It’s part familiar, yet part unexpected. I’m on a throne, with a crown atop my short, dark hair. It’s longer now, and it’s held up by pins. In the picture, I’m sitting so straight it’s like I’ve become a brick wall, only wispier. My head is held high, and there’s a shine in my eyes.