Lucky

by J. M. Dabney

  “Good afternoon, how is everyone today?”

  A perky woman who looked like she was going to a Yoga class skipped into the room. That was way too much.

  Everyone responded, but he was frozen until he felt Lucky’s arms twine around his waist from behind. Soft lips surrounded by stubble teased the side of his throat, and he closed his eyes. Almost three years of sleeping beside Lucky most nights, all the touches and caring gestures hadn’t prepared him for this.

  “I’m Carmen, please find a cushion, one of you will sit cross legged. Your partner will sit on your lap facing you with their legs around your waist, the soles of their feet together and arms over your shoulders.”

  “Yes or no, Priest, this is your decision.”

  He could only nod and let Lucky lead him to the back of the room. Lucky sat down and crossed his legs, then held his hand out for him. His body slightly shook as he straddled Lucky’s lap and eased down until Lucky’s thighs cradled his ass. It was the most intimate position he’d ever experienced with Lucky or anyone else. He uncomfortably shifted at the strangeness.

  “To start, we’re just going to focus on breathing,” Carmen’s voice was soft. “Close your eyes. Focus on your partner’s breathing. Matching your breaths to theirs. Inhale when your partner exhales.”

  Lucky’s clear blue eyes focused on his and his fingers tenderly stroked the small of his lower back. Music with a lot of chimes softly played.

  “You’re holding your fucking breath,” Lucky whispered. “And close your eyes.”

  He heavily exhaled and tried to do as directed. They both wore pajama bottoms and t-shirts, but he was hyper aware of Lucky’s warmth, where their skin connected. He peeked at Lucky and studied the handsome angles of his face.

  The dark blond brows, one bisected with a scar from one of Lucky’s many accidents and the other pierced with a small stainless steel hoop. His cheekbones were high, up close you could count the cute freckles that slashed across his cheeks and nose. A thin nose that was slightly bent with a bump at the bridge. Lucky’s lips were wide and thin, but the bottom one had a nibble-worthy pout. He was so beautiful, and Priest didn’t understand why Lucky treated him like he was special.

  Years of gentle touches, Lucky made sure he was always comfortable and cared for, hell, sometimes Lucky even made sure Priest had eaten before he did. Lucky would watch him as Priest would eat with this odd expression in his eyes—almost like satisfaction. Then something tickled at the back of his mind, and he suddenly realized he’d seen that look before it was the way Damon watched and cared for Lily. He’d witnessed Damon making Lily a plate before he even attempted to get his own.

  He’d always found it stupid to be jealous of the relationship Lily and Damon had. There was no mistaking the love they had for each other—even with the oddness of their partnership. Now, he didn’t get the Radical Honesty; he couldn’t imagine Lucky coming home to say he’d been checking out and flirting with someone else, maybe even had sex with another person. He felt his brow furrow at the thought of Lucky with anyone. Priest wasn’t stupid enough to think extraordinarily handsome Lucky went without, but Priest didn’t want to think about it.

  Soft lips brushed at the creases between his brows, and he opened his eyes all the way to find Lucky watching him. A half-smile quirked Lucky’s mouth as he withdrew, but then Lucky rested his forehead to Priest’s and flexed his arms pulling Priest closer. Priest stiffened to camouflage his shiver at the closeness.

  That was new, although he’d noticed Lucky, the gorgeous, weird man caused him all kinds of strange emotions and thoughts over the years. The instructor’s voice broke through his thoughts, but he didn’t pay attention he was too focused on the man holding him. It was familiar yet different.

  “Today is about recapturing intimacy. Touch is such a simple act and has the power to convey everything we feel. Make eye contact and with touch let your partner know how you feel about them. There’s no rush. Find your safety and comfort.”

  He caught the end of one of Lucky’s locs and rubbed it between his fingertips, the texture course, but strangely soft. Suddenly Lucky’s dreads fell and caressed over his skin. Calloused fingers traced his arms from shoulders to his hands, Lucky wrapped his hands around his wrists and pulled Priest’s hands around to rest on Lucky’s lean pecs. Lucky trapped one over his heart and Priest spread his fingers. His stomach twisted and tightened, heat began to build.

  “Don’t panic, I can tell when you start to lose your shit.”

  “I’m not panicking.” It was the truth, well, not in the sense of his usual panic attacks. His breaths were sharp coming in quick pants, but he didn’t feel like there was a vice around his chest. The anxiousness which screamed for him to run wasn’t there. To the contrary, Priest wanted to get closer.

  He shifted his hips and sank deeper into the cradle of Lucky’s legs. Lucky’s chest rumbled under his hands. That was new, Priest experimentally rubbed his palms against Lucky’s chest and felt the man’s nipple rings catch. Lucky’s hands settled on his sides and stroked along his ribs. He nibbled nervously at his lower lip. It took all his control not to squirm.

  His gaze caught and held Lucky’s as they touched. There wasn’t anything remotely sexual about it and nothing they hadn’t done countless times in the past. Safety is all he ever felt. There wasn’t any pushing like with the other men he’d encountered. The terror his ex induced didn’t come into play. Was this how it was supposed to be when you cared about someone?

  Priest loved Lucky, had for a long time and it went beyond friends. He wasn’t stupid enough not to recognize what his feelings were, but he couldn’t take that step. Men wanted sex, and he knew he wasn’t ready, probably never would be able to trust someone to that degree not even Lucky. He started to drop his chin, but fingertips pushed at his chin, and Lucky’s forehead rested heavier to his. They didn’t exchange words, none needed to be, and he just let himself feel comfort while it lasted.

  # # #

  “I’m so fucking bored,” Lucky whined.

  Priest laughed as he cuddled on the hammock outside their cabin while Lucky rocked them. His best friend needed constant chaos, or his brain started to short circuit.

  “You can survive without Brawlers or your cartoons for another 24 hours.”

  “What if I can’t? Who the fuck doesn’t put TVs in a place like this or a bar?”

  Lucky’s disgusted tone was cute, his pouting even more adorable. He wouldn’t tell him that, though. The man’s ego was already at capacity.

  “This is sort of a couple’s type place for them to rekindle their relationships. I can’t believe you brought us to a couple’s intimacy workshop.”

  “Don’t fucking give me shit, I was trying to be nice and you know how fucking hard that is for me. That old lady nearly lost her false teeth when I said fuck earlier at dinner.”

  He shifted to get more comfortable and brought them into impossibly closer contact. “Normal people don’t use fuck as an exclamation point or have perfected the use of the word as a noun, verb and adjective.”

  “We’ve known each other three fucking years, man, don’t you know I ain’t fucking normal yet?”

  “I couldn’t imagine you normal.”

  “It’s insulting you’d even have the thought.”

  “Lucky, thank you for this.”

  “What are you thanking me for, man?”

  “I don’t know; it was nice to be touched.”

  “Baby, I always touch you.”

  It wasn’t the first time Lucky used endearments, but it was mostly Lucky calling him his bear. “I know, but this just seemed different.”

  “Different,” Lucky asked.

  He settled his head over Lucky’s heart and listened to the familiar rhythm of it. The sound had been his lullaby for years now. “I wasn’t panicky and waiting for a hit or to be held down. It wasn’t always like that, sometimes it started off gentle, but when my flight response would ease that’s when he’d strike.�
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  “I don’t want to sound like an asshole, but why’d you stay?”

  “You get used to not being wanted, my Mom, well, she just saw me as a mistake and disappointment. Dad didn’t give a shit at all as long as I had good grades and excelled at sports. I hated sports.”

  “Yea, you’re not the most athletic type.”

  At the words, he tried to suck in his stomach.

  “Cut that bullshit out, I like that you’re cuddly. My personal teddy bear.”

  “Asshole.”

  “Again, that’s not fucking news.”

  “We’d dated for six months, and he was super sweet when he asked me to spend that first night I didn’t hesitate. I was stupid. I should have run, but he kept me that whole weekend and—”

  “You don’t have to explain,” Lucky kissed the top of his head. “You were terrified, but you don’t have to be anymore.”

  “I know, you remember the day we met?”

  “Oh man, you were so fucking hot.”

  Priest chuckled, “You’re such a liar.”

  “I’m incapable of lying remember? My parents damaged my brain at an early age. You were wearing a gray V-neck t-shirt, baggy jeans and black boots. Your beard was just starting to grow in. I thought you were going to puke you were so fucking nervous.”

  “Everyone else nodded or shook my hand, you though—”

  “I couldn’t resist just one hug and I told you we were going to be best friends.”

  “You were so weird.”

  “But you found me irresistible.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far.” He laughed as Lucky squeezed him tight.

  Priest closed his eyes and absorbed Lucky’s warmth. The man ran hot. He was emotionally worn out from the day and all the weird thoughts it caused. Priest felt himself start to drift but tried to make himself get up.

  “Get some sleep, pretty bear. We’ll go inside later.”

  He didn’t say a word as he relaxed and at the edge of his mind he swore he heard Lucky softly talking as if to lull him to sleep. Priest couldn’t understand what he was saying as he drifted off safe with Lucky.

  7 BABYSITTER LUCKY: THE COOL UNCLE

  Cartoons blared as he sat sandwiched between Princess and Juvie shoveling in cereal and starting an impressive juice box pyramid. Lucky loved sleepovers with his nieces. It gave Brody and Trouble a night to themselves with him watching Princess. Juvie was a new addition to the crew, Elijah, Tank and Scary adopted her about six months before. She was a smart-ass little shit, and Lucky adored her.

  He was the coolest fucking Uncle, they both told him so, not in those words. The dreads and beads were as far as they would let him corrupt the brats, cussing would get him fucking grounded from Niece Time.

  “We’re going to get Uncle Priest presents today?”

  “What we getting him?”

  “You’ll see, I ain’t telling ya because y’all snitched me out last time.”

  “Aw, Luck, he hated that last thing ya bought him. That teddy bear was bigger than he was. We dragged that thing through the store for nothing.”

  “He loved that fu—it.”

  “Uncle Lucky, you tied it to the motorcycle. We almost got pulled over. If they hadn’t been laughing so hard. You had us in the sidecar and a Priest sized bear on the bit—back seat.”

  “Watch your language. We were grounded the last time, Juvie. Scary and Tank nearly kicked my butt. If they weren’t old and tired out before they got to me I woulda been dead, man, dead.”

  “You have to get Uncle Priest something nice like Papa gets Daddy,” Princess said then shoveled in another spoonful of cereal.

  “I get Priest nice things.”

  “Luck, man, you gotta have some game, do something romantic like. Take him on dates like Dad and Papa take Daddy. They get all dressed up like they’re going to funerals. Daddy is always smiling when he comes home.”

  “I’m sure he is.”

  Those three were freaks; he was surprised his niece wasn’t traumatized. He never came over unannounced anymore. Bodies aren’t supposed to bend like that—poor, poor Elijah. Ropes and shit, what was wrong with a good old-fashioned—he banished the thoughts before his cereal rebelled and tried to come back up.

  “I’m just saying—” Juvie pouted and went back to shoveling cereal into her mouth like it was going to be taken away.

  She’d gotten better since she’d joined the crew, but six months wasn’t long enough to make the little girl feel like she completely belonged. The pre-teen hadn’t had the best start in life, but Elijah, Tank, and Scary were doing a fucking amazing job with her.

  “We gotta take the car today.”

  “Aw, man, your car smells like feet,” Juvie shuddered.

  “I’ll have you know that car is a classic.”

  “A classic piece of crap.”

  Lucky gasped and grabbed his chest; milk sloshed onto his Grateful Dead shirt. His 68 Nova SS was the shit, they didn’t know what the fuck they were talking about. His baby was a classic.

  “Can we bring air freshener,” Princess asked.

  The little traitor, he’d expect it from Juvie, but not his sweet and loving Princess.

  “I’m withholding Dots.”

  “Oh no, don’t threaten the Dots, man,” Juvie pointed her finger at him. “don’t be that Uncle, Lucky, don’t be that Uncle. You’re losing coolest points, Crave’s gaining.”

  “Don’t threaten me, Crave will never take my spot—never!”

  He’d kill that blond giant first before he took Lucky’s spot. He didn’t like the fucker anyway.

  “Fine, don’t got to be all dramatic about it.” Juvie shook her head, and her dreads with the rainbow wraps tinkled with the tiny bells he’d woven into them.

  He’d spent hours on her hair. “Okay, I laid out clothes for y’all, nothing your parents sent. I won’t be embarrassed today.”

  They jumped from the couch, set their bowls down and took off running. Juvie wouldn’t wear a dress to save her life, but he’d made her a hippie peasant blouse and thin-soled sandals with more bells in the hemp rope. Princess got a skirt in a beautiful Indian print with mirrors embroidered into the design and a white blouse, along with the same sandals only a few sizes smaller than Juvie’s. He’d gotten shit most of his life for liking to make clothes but other than Priest it was the only thing he had that calmed his mind when it was in chaos.

  He loved living with or near his friends so he could shower his nieces with presents. Brody and Trouble took over the guest house out back. It wasn’t much but perfect for a small family of three. They weren’t there, Tank’s old cabin turned into the couple’s getaway spot. Normally it was where Scary and Tank took Elijah, but they’d headed off to some secret locale to get freaky for the weekend.

  Priest typically supervised, but the cupboards were empty, so he was volunteered to run all the errands today. Zerk and Landon were running the shop. Lucky pushed to his feet, gathered up the bowls and the juice boxes, then he headed to get dressed. He’d called the Animal Shelter earlier; they’d gotten in a litter of kittens, munchkins. Priest always said he wanted a cat, but the times Lucky brought up going to get one Priest said no.

  Lucky talked it over with the guys, and everyone was okay with Lucky getting Priest one. Herc was already good with cats. The weird ass dog tried to friend the neighborhood ones and earned scratches as a reward for his friendliness. It was all planned. Plus, a little something extra. He just hoped he didn’t fuck up and get Priest something he didn’t want. He always tried to get Priest little things, just like Damon did for Lily. He just hoped Priest didn’t put all that shit together. He didn’t seem like the courting type, but he wanted to be—for Priest.

  # # #

  “Don’t squeeze the crap out of her before we get her home to Priest.” He told Princess as she carried the yet unnamed new member of the crew in a sling he’d made from a tie-dyed scarf he had in the car. The kitten had its head poked out, but the rest of h
er hidden.

  “Lucky, you got him a three-legged, one-eyed cat, it’s broken.”

  He glared at Juvie, “It’s not broken; she wouldn’t have been adopted. It’s not cute enough. Just push the cart.”

  “Fine, but it’s still broken.”

  “We gotta get all the things she needs.” He herded his nieces down the cat aisle ignoring the strange looks he received from the other customers. They always looked at Juvie and Princess, then back at him. It’s like he kidnapped the heathens. Juvie’s locs started to fall from the twist he’d put them in. He stopped her and fixed them.

  “You have cute kids,” A woman probably about his age smiled at him.

  Oh man, a flirty woman, he’d never handled those well. Also, it wasn’t polite to bellow I’m gay and take off running. There were times and places for honesty, and he didn’t think now was one of them.

  “Oh, no, not mine, nieces. Juvie and Princess.” Okay, maybe he should not have announced their nicknames.

  “We picked out his boyfriend a kitten, see,” Princess pointed to the kitten.

  He rolled his eyes as the woman stared at the kitten.

  “She wasn’t going to be adoptable. My bear will love her.”

  “We hope, he wasn’t crazy about the man-sized teddy bear we got last time.”

  “He loved that bear too.”

  “Relax, Lucky, that vein in your forehead popped out. It’s gross.”

  “Why did I bring you with me?”

  “Because we were released into your care and we’re not old enough to stay home to take care of ourselves.”

  “Right, right,” Lucky darted a glance at the stranger and found her smiling. “Is it too late to say I don’t know them?”

  “I think so.”

  “Fu—” He brought his hand up and pushed at his closed lids with his thumb and index finger.

  “Language,” Princess warned, “remember, we don’t want to be grounded again. Uncle Zerk doesn’t put extra sugar on our cereal when he watches us.”