Serafina's Flame

by J. C. Hart

  "I'm sorry," she sobbed the words out. Small flames flickered across the surface of the lake, licking at his body, but not damaging it in any way. They inched up his flesh until he slipped down into the depths.

  Carmel swiped at her eyes, pushing aside the tears that had managed to escape. She shook her head and pushed her thoughts back to the last time she'd heard the song for the dead. "Come on, Carmel, you can do this." Her legs twitched with fatigue and she let them fold beneath her so that she was kneeling. The dried earth, hard and cracked, dug into her skin.

  "I don't remember!" she called at the lake. "I can't remember how it goes!"

  "Sing your own song, my child." The voice came from nowhere and everywhere around her.

  "My own song," she repeated, the words feeling strange on her lips. She tried to focus, thinking of what might be the most appropriate words to speak of Landon, and then she opened her mouth and sang.

  Face as bright as the full moon,

  eyes as blue as the sea,

  he lived his life as best he could,

  torn from the home of his birth,

  raised as a child of two cultures,

  he loved,

  he was loved,

  he was mine…

  Her words trailed off, and she buried her face in her hands. "He's gone. Gone."

  "Not for long." Serafina's voice wafted past her ear on a warm breeze. Carmel glanced up, and there, emerging from the lake, was her son.

  "Landon!" she called to him as she got to her feet. She went to step forward, but the heat of the lake reminded her of where she was. "Landon, you're here!" Relief flooded her body, burning up the last of her reserves. She sank back to the ground.

  "Mother," he said. "You did it." He glanced down at himself with a look of wonder on his face. Her eyes traced his form; the lean lines of his arms, the curve of his lips and the shape of his eyes all there, outlined in flame. He was whole again, unmarred. And now he was truly one of her people, no skin tone or eye color to differentiate him from anyone else. He was one with them all.

  "I did it," she repeated his words, tears forming again as reality sunk in. "I really did it."

  Landon smiled at her. "Thank you," he said. "Even if we can never touch, this is more than I could have hoped for."

  "You should thank Serafina, it was by her grace that my request was fulfilled." Carmel looked around for the goddess, but she hadn't yet taken form.

  "She has my thanks, do not worry about that. I can feel her." He was so close now, close enough to touch and a wide grin spread across his face. He reached out and she could tell that he would have brushed her cheek with his fingers had he been able. "You're so tired, mother. Sleep."

  The warmth from his body seeped into her skin. She nodded her head slowly, shuffling backwards, away from the lake and yielding to the draw of the ground. She let sleep take her then, not caring what came next. She had finished what she came to do, and that was all that mattered.

  11

  When she woke, the sun was high already. How she had managed to sleep through dawn, Carmel had no idea. She rolled away from the lake and pushed herself up. Hunger gnawed at her belly and the ache in her side from the bite was enough to make her want to curl up again.

  Instead she forced herself to stand and survey her surroundings. There was no one here though, no one and nothing.

  "Serafina!" she called. A strong wind tore the word from her mouth and seemed to toss it away. "I'm not going away until you talk to me. I deserve some answers," she muttered.

  "Answers don't always provide a solution. You know that, don't you?" The words were hot breath against her ear and she turned towards the sound so quickly that her neck ached. There was no one there.

  "How much longer are you going to play games with me?" Carmel asked, her anger rising. She had thought it extinguished last night when Landon had been returned to her. "I've been walking for days to see you, and you don't have the courtesy to show yourself?"

  "You speak of courtesy to a goddess?" This time Serafina's breath was on her other cheek and when Carmel whipped her head around she came face to face with her. The goddess's form was just as she remembered it; shaped from molten rock, the curves of her body flickering with living flame. Dark red hair tumbled over her shoulders, partly covering her naked form.

  All the air left Carmel's body in a gush and she dropped to her knees. "Serafina. It's you."

  "I see your insolence has deserted you," Serafina said, a wry smile on her face. "It's a shame. I was rather enjoying it." The goddess turned her back and walked off, leaving steaming footprints in her wake.

  "No. NO. You will not walk away from me." Carmel pushed herself up from the ground. "I came with an offering," she said. "An offering you accepted. Surely that must mean something."

  "You've not been here for many years, but I remember you." Serafina turned back and walked towards her. "Once upon a time, you were to be mine, until a stranger got you with child."

  The words only served to make Carmel's anger greater. "That wasn't my fault! I didn't ask for it. But I don't regret it for a minute. I loved my son."

  Serafina held her hand up and Carmel stopped speaking.

  "There was no fault with you, it was something that happened to you, not something you went out and did. But no one asked me to void your commitment. No one made any such arrangements."

  "They told me that I was no longer worthy." Carmel dropped her eyes to the ground, feelings of despair creeping back to her across the years.

  "And who are they to deem worth? I am the goddess."

  "You are." Carmel looked up and nodded as Serafina approached her.

  "You were always worthy. Always." The goddess ran a finger across Carmel's cheek, leaving a trail of warmth in its wake.

  "Then why did you let them burn the village? You were meant to protect us!" Tears sprang from Carmel's eyes, drowning out the anger she had felt before.

  "The villagers needed to be taught a lesson, and so I did nothing to stop the invasion." Her words were not spoken unkindly, but they stung all the same.

  "It was a harsh lesson. A very harsh lesson. One that resulted in years of anguish, in me being taken from my home and forced to live with them, to submit to another goddess."

  "And I am sorry for that. But look, you've found your way back to me." Serafina smiled. "Your son has, too, and your grandson. I felt him here on the mountain, you know, and now he will get to grow up among his own."

  "His name is Romane." Carmel took a deep breath, trying to push thoughts of him from her mind, to stay focused on why she was here. "I wanted him to know his father."

  "And now he will." Serafina gave a nod. "And what of you?"

  "I don't know what you mean." Carmel shook her head in confusion. "I'm sorry. I'm tired, and sick, and I just… What do you mean?"

  "You made a promise to me, back in your childhood. Will you honor it now?"

  "But I'm so old, and I have Romane to think about." Carmel's frown deepened.

  "You are old, yes, and your body is weak. I can smell death crawling through your blood. Do you want your last moments to be filled with pain, or filled with ecstasy?" Serafina tilted her head, waiting for a response.

  "What do you want me to do? Speak plainly." Carmel tried to stop anxiety from creeping over her. It started as an itch in her leg and she reached down to scratch it, her fingers tracing the lines of her scars.

  "I want you to walk into the fires." Serafina waved an arm towards the lake of embers. Flames sprang from the surface, billowing in the wind caused by her movement.

  A shudder tore across Carmel's flesh and the muscles in her face twitched. "The flames?" She shook her head and flicked her tongue across bone dry lips. "And what does that mean? Will I be taken up, like Landon, or…"

  "Something else. Not dead, and not taken up. You'll be mine, for all time." Serafina watched her carefully, as if trying to read her thoughts.

  "And then what?"

  Serafina shru
gged. "Do you trust me?"

  "I…" Carmel let her sentence trail off. "I believe in you."

  Serafina laughed. "Of course you believe in me. I'm standing here before you."

  "I mean, I believe you are my goddess."

  "Again, if you didn't, you wouldn't be here. Your belief in me was never in doubt. No matter what happened, or where you were, I could feel your flame shining like a beacon. Even in the times when you hated me, you still believed. What I'm asking you now, is whether you trust me enough to walk into those flames."

  "What happens if I don't?" Carmel licked her lips again. They were cracked from the heat on the plateau and sweat dripped from her forehead, evaporating before it could blur her vision.

  Her eyes flicked between the lake of fire and the goddess. The scars on her leg itched like they were just beginning to heal. She could remember, so vividly, the feel of the flames around her and the way they had bitten into her flesh, taking whatever they could.

  And yet, what else was left? What was she now but the culmination of other people's decisions and wants?

  "I'll do it," Carmel blurted out. "I trust you. I want to walk into the flames."

  Serafina clapped her hands together in glee, which Carmel found quite unsettling.

  "Don't look so worried, beloved," the goddess assured her. "I could only ask. You were the one who had to decide. Your commitment to me is worth nothing if it is not freely given."

  "So what do we do now? Is there a ritual, or ceremony we must perform?"

  "It is as simple as stepping forward. Your faith in me, your trust, are all you need now." Serafina gave her a little smile and held out her hand. "Take my hand. This will sting, but not for long."

  "You are very different to how I remember," Carmel said, looking up at the goddess as she reached for her hand. "I can't quite work you out."

  Serafina's smile grew. "Don't worry, you'll have many years for that."

  Carmel let the goddess lead her towards the lake of flames. They rose twelve feet in the sky, higher than anything else on the plateau, and the heat of them seemed to suck all the air from her lungs. Her skin tightened, threatened to split as the water was leeched from it, but still she walked.

  They stopped just shy of the lake.

  "Take off your clothes," Serafina said.

  "But—" Carmel dropped the goddess’ hand and looked down.

  "No more buts. Just trust me." Serafina didn't even look at her as she spoke, her eyes were fixated on the flames ahead.

  "I do," Carmel insisted, though a thin strand of unease twisted through her gut. Those flames were hot, and she was going to burn. Alive. She pulled her shirt off and dropped her pants to the ground. A mad giggle escaped; at least she wouldn't catch a cold here.

  Serafina reached for her hand and Carmel grasped it firmly, trying to squeeze out the hysteria she could feel building.

  "I trust you," she said again.

  "Good." Carmel could hear the smirk in Serafina's voice. "Are you ready?"

  "Yes, I'm ready." She thought she might throw up, though there was nothing much in her stomach.

  The flames roared as they approached, blocking out every other noise. She was thrown back to that night when the invaders came, when the flames devoured her home and her leg was caught against the wall. The skin of her scar itched fiercely and she could hardly force herself to move any further.

  "Is something wrong?" Serafina turned towards her, concern showing in the flickering lines of her face.

  "I just… I'm afraid of being burned again."

  The goddess’s eyes narrowed. "You said that you trusted me."

  "I do, I—"

  "We agreed, no more buts." Serafina nodded her head, as if that settled it, and let go of Carmel's hand. "You need to walk ahead. I'll be close behind."

  "I thought you were going to hold my hand." The absence of her heat against Carmel's flesh was palpable.

  "You haven't needed anyone to hold your hand for years now, Carmel." The goddess smiled serenely. "I have faith that you can do this." She gestured towards the lake and Carmel turned back to face the flames.

  She took in a deep breath and stepped forward until she stood at the edge of the lake where she paused. She could feel the flames now, licking at her naked body. They weren't as hot as she expected, their tendrils flickering across her skin. Swallowing the last of her fears, she stepped forward onto the lake.

  Her foot sunk into the embers, reaching the scarring on her calf. Carmel let out a slow wail and tears pricked her eyes. She tried to inhale, but there didn't seem to be any oxygen to spare.

  "It is okay, Carmel. Take another step." She could hear Serafina behind her, felt the goddess’s presence, but her eyes were pressed firmly shut and there was no way she was opening them. She forced herself to take another step, and then another.

  The flames swarmed over her, engulfing her body. She shuddered with pain as they obliterated everything that made her up physical being, and then absolute bliss as they put her back together again. Renewed. Her eyes flew open, and she looked down to find her body healed, the grazes on her skin gone, the wound in her side invisible. It was still her, still strong, still mature, and she realized that even now, she was beautiful.

  "My scars…" She ran a hand down her calves.

  "What fire gives, fire can take away. They served a purpose in that you never forgot where you came from, but you don't need that reminder now. You're home."

  Carmel turned toward the goddess, no longer feeling anything but gentle warmth from the flames surrounding them. "Thank you," she said, bowing her head to Serafina. Carmel couldn't rest on a single emotion; love, awe, wonder warred with confusion and grief.

  As Carmel stepped from the lake of embers, the flames died down until there were none remaining. Night had fallen, though there was no chill in the air. She left her clothes in the pile where she had stripped them off, not wanting to put the dirty garments back on her re-formed body. She trailed her fingers across the skin of her arms, her face, ascertaining that everything was still as it should be. She shook her head with wonder, a small smile playing on her lips, so caught up in the novelty of the situation.

  She raised a hand and stared at her skin in the moonlight. It was still hers, still worn with the lines of age and experience. Though now she was free of scars. Her fingers moved to her calves, brushing the soft skin where her burns had once been. She didn't miss them. Not one bit. "What am I?" she asked, a chord of tension running through her words.

  "When you were eight, a promise was made." Serafina's voice came to Carmel on the warm breeze that she was becoming used to. She turned to find the goddess, but all she could see was a haze, shimmering in the air. "I choose you because I knew, even then, that your belief burned bright."

  "And why? What could you possibly need from someone like me?"

  "I want you to go back to your village and rekindle their faith in me. They worship because they fear me, but I long to be loved." Serafina let out a sigh.

  Carmel gasped, surprised at the vulnerability this goddess showed. "I love you," she said, the conviction in her words startling her.

  "I know." Serafina's whole face lit up with sparks as she smiled. "Even when you hated me, you loved me. Which is why you are perfect for this task."

  "I don't know what you expect me to do." Carmel shrugged, overwhelmed by the job before her.

  "Speak to them. Tell them your story. Tell them of Landon, and Romane, and all that has passed. Tell them of me. Please?"

  "I am yours," Carmel said, with a nod.

  "Today you walked through the flames and you were made new again. You are not immortal, and you still have need of nourishment, but fire will always be there when you need it. You are stronger now than most of those who walk this earth. I have faith that you will use your new skills wisely, in my name."

  "I will do my best." Carmel nodded. "Can I see Landon before I leave?"

  "I can offer better than that." The goddess twisted
her fingers in the air, conjuring a small cloud of ash that she collected in her palms. Serafina pressed them together and presented Carmel with a bag.

  "What is it?"

  "This will bring your son to you. I want you to take it and sprinkle a pinch into the hearth of every Nivaen home. It has been too long since my people visited their ancestors or called upon them for wisdom. It is time to remind them of the gifts I have to offer."

  Carmel reached out and accepted the bag. "Thank you."

  "And thank you, don't ever think I will take your trust and love in vain." Serafina's fingers brushed through Carmel's hair before she turned and scattered on the wind.

  Carmel exhaled. Nervous energy and quiet excitement battled for control of her emotions. For the first time since she was eight, when she'd last stood on this plateau, she was filled with a purpose outside day-to-day survival. She looked out towards the forest and felt her past and future intertwine. There, she would find her family, find Romane. Find a home and purpose.

  Vana

  1

  Vana stifled another giggle. Her hand entwined with Jonti’s and he pulled her close again, kissing her full on the lips. His touch was still vibrant, even after a decade together, and here, under the darkened sky, she felt like they were teenagers, each touch of his igniting her. The years had not dampened his virility, nor her desire.

  "Come on, we should get back," she murmured, glancing toward the village where the haze of the community fire beckoned. Aida and Gabe were tucked safely in bed, but she’d had her fun, and now it was time to go back to motherhood.

  He drew away, pressing his forehead against hers with a sigh. "A little longer wouldn’t hurt anyone you know. Those children sleep through anything."

  "Still…" She pulled back, grasping his hand and drawing him toward the village. He smacked her bottom, and she yelped, letting him go and running ahead. She’d only made it a few meters before the smile slipped from her face and she froze. "Can you smell that?"

  "No?" Jonti’s brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?"