Love Only Once

by Johanna Lindsey

  She sighed deeply. Hadn’t she once said it wouldn’t matter how her marriage turned out just so long as she didn’t have to go on hunting for a husband? How foolishly naive!

  “My dear, you have a visitor,” Eleanor announced as she came into the room, Lord Dicken Barrett right behind her. “George—? Oh, dear. I don’t remember.”

  “George Fowler,” Lord Barrett supplied.

  “Oh, yes, Fowler,” Eleanor agreed. “Sayers put him in the waiting room, what with the house so full.”

  Sayers was standing in the doorway, and Reggie frowned to hide her surprise. She stood up. “The waiting room is no place for George. Put him in the library. It should be empty at this hour. And have tea sent in.” She dismissed Sayers with a nod, then turned to Eleanor. “You should have slept later, Ellie, if you’re still tired.”

  “I’m fine, dear. We did have a late night of it, but I enjoyed myself.” Her eyes met Lord Barrett’s briefly. “I’ll be wide-awake once I have my tea. Do you know your caller?”

  “Yes,” Reggie replied. “But I can’t imagine what he’s doing here.”

  “Well, you had best see to him. Dicken and I will just have a little something to eat before going on our ride.”

  Eleanor, riding? Imagine! “I didn’t know you enjoyed riding, Ellie.”

  “Oh, my, yes. But it’s so much nicer when you have someone along for company.” She leaned closer, adding, “You and Nicholas must try it.”

  Reggie answered noncommittally and left the room.

  George Fowler stood up the moment she entered the library, coming forward to bow over her hand. She had forgotten what a pleasant-looking young man George was, with his mop of sandy brown curls and neatly trimmed mustache, his dark green eyes and well-cut figure. He was a little on the short side—no, not really. She mustn’t compare every man to her husband.

  “I fear I’ve come at an inconvenient time,” he apologized. “The fellow who took my horse grumbled that there wasn’t room for even one more in your stable.”

  “It’s a bit of a squeeze, but I am in no way inconvenienced.”

  “But you have guests to attend—”

  “Not at all,” she assured him. “This is my mother-in-law’s gathering, planned before we arrived. Mostly her friends—and my husband’s— and only a few are up at this hour. Do sit down, George.” They seated themselves facing each other. “You’re welcome to stay, too, if you like. You probably know most everyone here, and I’m sure we can find you a place for the night, if you don’t mind sharing a room.”

  He grinned happily. “I would accept, if I hadn’t already received a summons from my mum. She’s on holiday down in Brighton and I thought I would stop by to see you on the way, see how you’re getting on.”

  Reggie smiled at him. He had gone far out of his way in order to see her. “It has been a long time, hasn’t it?” She opened the subject happily, remembering how charming he could be.

  “A deuced long time,” he emphasized.

  Hallie brought in tea, and Reggie poured.

  “How is your mother, George?”

  “As well as can be expected, considering her disposition.” He said this with a grimace, as if he expected quite a drubbing when he arrived in Brighton. “The whole family’s well. Speaking of family, I saw your Uncle Anthony at the club last week. He seemed in the boughs over something. Nearly came to blows with another fellow just for bumping into him.”

  Reggie knew what that meant. A week ago would have been the time Anthony learned that Nicholas was back.

  “Uncle Tony has his moods, though fortunately he doesn’t have them often.”

  “And do you?” His expression was suddenly serious.

  “Have moods, George? Don’t we all?”

  “You don’t mind being buried out here in the country? I would perish within a week.”

  “I love Silverley. I always did prefer the country—”

  He seemed disappointed. “I thought perhaps you… weren’t happy here. One does hear things.” He coughed. Was he embarrassed?

  “One should close his ears, then,” she chided. “I’m happy, George.” But she couldn’t look him in the eye.

  “You’re sure?”

  “She has told you so, Fowler,” Nicholas stated coldly from the doorway. “And since that is obviously what you came to find out, I shall appreciate your leaving.”

  Reggie jumped to her feet. “Nicholas!”

  “That’s quite all right, Reggie,” George offered, standing.

  “That’s Lady Montieth, old chap,” Nicholas said smoothly, eyes bright. “You will remember that, won’t you?”

  Reggie was incredulous. “You don’t have to go, George, really you don’t.”

  “Oh, but he does, I insist.” Nicholas then turned and bellowed into the hall. “Sayers! The gentleman is leaving.”

  Reggie flushed crimson. “I’m sorry, George. There is no excuse for such rudeness.”

  “Think nothing of it.” George bent over her hand, ignoring for a moment the indomitable man in the doorway. “It was a pleasure seeing you again, however briefly.”

  Reggie waited only two seconds after George slipped out of the room before she emitted a cry of rage, her cobalt eyes shooting sparks at Nicholas. “How dare you? Did I throw your whores out? Did I?” She barely paused for breath. “You are insufferable, sir, utterly!” she raged. “Is this another preposterous rule of yours? First you refuse to allow my family to visit here, and now my friends are not welcome!”

  “I would not call an old love a friend,” he retorted.

  “He was not an old love. And you are a fine one to talk, with four of your old loves sleeping in this house last night. Why, you were probably even with one of them—or more than one!”

  “If you had shared my bed last night, you would know where I was.”

  Her mouth dropped open, then angrily snapped shut. Share his bed after she had caught him with another woman? He was annoying her on purpose. Well, he’d succeeded in rousing her fury.

  She squared her shoulders. “Your disgraceful behavior has made up my mind for me, sir. I refuse to live another day with such a churlish boor. I am going home.”

  That brought Nicholas up short. “This is your home, Regina.”

  “It might have been, but you have made it intolerable.”

  “You’re not leaving,” he stated flatly.

  “You can’t stop me.”

  “I can indeed do just that. See if I don’t!”

  Silence followed. They glared at each other, and then Regina stalked out.

  Nicholas’ shoulders drooped. Why the bloody hell had he lost his head like that? He had intended to coax her back to her old self, then woo her into his bed tonight. Everything could have been right by tomorrow. What the everlasting hell was the matter with him? She was right, his behavior was insufferable, and he didn’t even begin to understand it himself.

  Chapter 38

  THE door crashed open with a resounding bang. Reggie swung around from the vanity seat, brush still raised to her hair.

  “What? No trunks packed yet?” he rasped.

  Reggie slowly put her brush down. “You’re foxed, Nicholas.”

  “Not quite, love. Just enough to realize I’ve been pounding my head against a stone wall for no reason.”

  “You’re spouting gibberish.”

  He shut the door, leaning against it, his amber eyes on her face. “Consider this. The house is mine. The room is mine. The wife is mine. I need no more license than that to take her to bed.”

  “No arguing, love,” he broke in.

  She warned frostily, “I think you had better leave before—”

  “Will you scream, love? Bring the servants and guests running? They don’t dare intrude, you know. You will suffer from acute embarrassment tomorrow.”

  He was smiling at her, the brute. “You will not have your way, Nicholas Eden.”

  “But I will,” he corrected agreeably. “And let’s not have
any hysterics.”

  “When I get hysterical,” she said through gritted teeth, “you will know it.”

  “Good of you to be so reasonable, love. Now, why don’t you take off that pretty thing you’re wearing?”

  “Why don’t you go—”

  “Madame!” he appeared shocked. “If you cannot be civil—”

  “Nicholas!” Reggie shouted in frustration. “I am in no mood for nonsense.”

  “Well, if you’re in a hurry, love, I will oblige you.”

  He started toward her, and she dashed around the large bed, putting it between them. He kept coming, moving around the bed now.

  “Don’t come any closer.” Her voice rose with each word. But he did.

  Reggie jumped onto the bed and rolled across it. She looked up to find him grinning. He was enjoying the chase.

  “I want you out of here this second!” Her voice cracked with fury.

  He stepped up onto the bed, bending to avoid being clobbered by the canopy, and she ran for the door. The crashing sound of Nicholas jumping off the bed made her change direction. Behind the Queen Anne chaise longue was safer.

  Nicholas went to the door, locked it, then put the key on the ledge over the door, well out of Reggie’s reach.

  Reggie looked at the ledge she couldn’t possibly reach, then back at Nicholas. She grabbed a book from the table next to her and threw it at him. He nimbly sidestepped it, chuckling at her efforts, and removed his coat.

  “If you persist, Nicholas, I swear I will scratch your eyes out!”

  “You can try, love.” He smiled. He moved toward the chaise and pulled her out from behind it, holding her to him firmly.

  “Nicho—”

  His lips silenced her. A moment later he dropped her on the bed and pressed her against the mattress with his long body. His mouth devoured hers, leaving her no chance to breathe, let alone rail at him. Her fingers gripping his hair could not move his head, nor could her bucking dislodge him. She bit his lip, and he pulled back, grinning down at her.

  “You don’t want to do that, love. How can I kiss you properly if you’ve taken a chunk out of my kisser?” She gave a vicious yank to his hair and he growled, “I should have plied you with wine again. You’re much more agreeable when you’re foxed.”

  As he kissed her again, Reggie’s eyes widened. Plied her with wine? It hadn’t been a dream! He really had made love to her that night at the inn. And he’d planned it! He’d wanted her enough to trick her… wanted her enough to give her too much wine… wanted her.

  Good God, those feelings were sneaking up on her again. How long could she resist?

  He looked at her again, his eyes smoldering. “Oh, love,” he said huskily, “love me. Love me like you did before.” he whispered passionately, and her defenses crumbled. Suddenly she was kissing him back with all the passion she possessed. She wasn’t made of stone. She was flesh and blood and her blood was on fire.

  Her fingers changed direction, pulling his head toward her. His groans of pleasure were music to her ears. Nicholas wanted her… really wanted her. It was her last thought before there was no more time to think.

  Chapter 39

  “GOOD morning, love.” Nicholas’ teeth caught at Reggie’s lower lip and chewed for a moment. “Did anyone ever tell you what a delightfully rumpled picture you present at sunrise?”

  She grinned impishly. “Meg is the only one who sees me at sunrise, and she doesn’t say things that go to a girl’s head.”

  Nicholas laughed, pulling her closer. “Your indomitable Meg doesn’t like me, you know, and I can’t imagine why. I’m such a likable fellow.”

  “You are an insufferable fellow, and you know it.”

  “But a likable insufferable fellow.”

  She laughed.

  What a marvelous way to be awakened, Reggie thought, snuggling closer to the solid length of her husband. And she wasn’t tired, even though she had been loved ardently into the small hours of the night. Not tired. Feeling wonderful. She would have to insist he force himself on her more often.

  Thomas’ wail was the only thing that could disturb their idyll, and she heard it in a moment.

  “I was wondering when he would get around to that.”

  Reggie grinned at him. “I’d better see to him.”

  “You will hurry back, won’t you?”

  “Most definitely, sir.”

  When Reggie returned to her bedroom twenty minutes later, it was empty. She checked the sitting room, then went to Nicholas’ bedroom. Both rooms were empty. She returned to her own room and waited. He did not appear.

  Where had he gone? And why? Would he use her, then treat her with indifference? But she was jumping to conclusions. There had to be a perfectly good explanation for his disappearance.

  Reggie rushed Meg with her toilet and then nearly flew out of her room and down the stairs. Voices from the breakfast room drew her in that direction. At the door, she stopped short, suddenly chilled. Nicholas, dressed only in trousers and a short green velvet lounging jacket, stood at the buffet table. His back was to her, as was Selena Eddington’s. Selena stood next to him, so close that her shoulder touched his upper arm. His head was bent toward her and Selena was laughing at whatever he was saying.

  Red flashed before Reggie’s eyes. “Am I intruding—again?”

  They whirled around. No one else was in the room, not even a footman, yet Nicholas didn’t look at all abashed.

  “You didn’t have to come down, love.” He smiled. “I was just getting a plate of pastries to bring up to you.”

  “I’m sure you were,” she replied frigidly, her eyes locking with Selena’s. “Madame, kindly pack your valises and be gone from my house before noon.”

  Selena’s smug expression turned swiftly to outrage. “You can’t do that. Lady Miriam invited me.”

  “Lady Miriam is not mistress here. I am. And we Edens are positively famous for throwing people out of our home.” Having gotten that out of her system, Reggie turned and left.

  Nicholas caught up with her in the main hall, grabbing her arm. “What the devil was that all about?”

  “Let go of me!” she hissed, yanking her arm away. This time he took hold of her shoulder.

  “Come in here.” He dragged her into the library and closed the door behind them. “Are you mad?”

  “I must be, to have believed you had changed!” she said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “My bed was still warm when you went looking for another conquest! Well, cavort with all the women you want, sir, but do not toy with me again.”

  “Can you believe I would want another woman after last night?” he replied, truly incredulous. “What you saw was nothing. Selena just happened to be there when I came in for your pastries. I meant to feed you, mind you, so you would have no excuse to leave your room this morning.”

  “You have a house full of servants to fetch pastries, sir,” she pointed out.

  “They are being run ragged by all of our guests. I had time to do it because I was waiting for you to return.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  He sighed in exasperation. “This is absurd, Regina. You had no call to fly off the handle, and certainly no call to boot Selena out. I told her so.”

  “You didn’t!”

  “If you will just consider how ridiculously you are behaving—”

  The fire glittering in her eyes gave him pause. “Am I? Yes, I suppose I am. I’m a fool, too, and the stupidest ninny. But you, sir, are a bastard, through and through. You can’t bear for your lady friend to leave? Then by all means let her stay. Let her move in for good, in fact, for I won’t be here to see it. And if you try to stop me from leaving, I will—shoot you!”

  His face darkened to a furious expression, but she was so caught up in releasing the months of fury that she didn’t know how dangerously angry he was. When he turned around without making a single reply, she ran in front of him and blocked his exit. “Don’t y
ou dare walk out when I’m still fighting with you!”

  “What more is there to say, madame?” he said bitterly. “You have finally brought it out in the open. I have no defense, you see.”

  It bowled her over. No lies, and no excuses.