Redemption (Desire Never Dies)

by Clara Grace Walker

  Once more, Belinda gave no reaction. “I have been fully trained in the Coral Reef Center program,” she explained. “I possess all the necessary skills and training to guide you on your pathway to a new life.”

  “Really? Who trained you? I don’t see any licensing from any medical or psychology associations on these walls.”

  “Shirley Cantwise herself trained me.”

  She sounded proud of that fact, as if it was supposed to mean something. “This is bullshit.” Mindy got up and headed for the door. She was leaving, and she’d like to see someone try and stop her.

  “Where are you going?” Belinda asked calmly.

  Mindy ignored her and opened the door.

  “Excuse me, Miss LePage….”

  Taking a left at the short hallway would take her to a door leading outside. She’d memorized the layout as she was being escorted.

  “Miss LePage, you can’t leave during therapy, and you can’t swear in here either.”

  “Just watch me.” She quickened her step then broke into a run. She heard the life coach break into a run behind her. Her turn to the door and her freedom loomed ahead. No way this zombie bot woman in low heels could outrun her. She rounded the corner and slammed full force into Rory.

  “Miss LePage.” He caught his balance and grabbed her by the arms at the same time. “Going somewhere?”

  “Yes.” She spoke forcefully. She was a Grammy-award-winning singer. A star for crying out loud. Who did these people think they were? “I’m leaving this nut hole. And you’re not going to stop me.”

  “I’m sorry, Miss LePage, but you can’t do that.”

  “The hell I can’t! Step aside. I’m leaving.”

  He latched a tight grip on her upper arms. Mindy jerked violently. Alarm trickled through her, turning quickly into fear. She remembered being trapped, held down by force, and smelling cigar smoke. “Let me go,” she said, her voice rising. “This is kidnapping!”

  “Calm down, Miss LePage. No one is kidnapping you.”

  He stood impassively, immovable, like a human barrier between her and the doorway to freedom. She struggled against his iron grip. Panic clouded her thinking. She screamed for help, yelling at the top of her lungs, and kicking at his knees.

  “Mindy, please calm down.”

  Belinda, the life coach, spoke from behind her.

  “Help! Help me! Please!” Mindy continued screaming, angry and crying. Words tearing out of her dry throat. Her stomach roiled, threatening to loosen whatever contents were still left inside. She kicked and jerked with all her might.

  “That’s enough!”

  A sharp voice startled her into stillness. Looking behind her, she saw the voice belonged to a short, plain woman with a large nose, stern face and dark hair pinned into a bun like the one sported by Belinda. It took only a second for Mindy to regain her voice. “Who the hell are you?”

  “I’m Shirley Cantwise, founder of the Coral Reef Center.” Her voice now sounded as calm as everyone else’s. “You are interfering with the lifestyle mending of other patients.” The woman never cracked a smile.

  “No problem,” Mindy told her. “Just let me go and you can all get back to your brainwashing.”

  “You can’t leave without being signed out,” Shirley informed her.

  Like she’d never been in rehab before. And why wasn’t Rory letting her go? She smiled sweetly at the short woman with the large nose and dark eyes. “No problem. I’ll sign myself out and we can be done with this nonsense.”

  “I’m afraid you can’t do that.”

  “Bullshit. What kind of nonsense is this?”

  “It’s true,” Belinda chimed in. “And please stop swearing.”

  Shirley gave Belinda a sharp look and resumed speaking. “Anthony Howard has a court order giving him guardianship over you. He’s the only one who can sign you out.”

  “What?” Mindy’s fear and anxiety exploded. “That’s not true! That can’t possibly be true!”

  Shirley said something into her cell phone. Once again, Mindy jerked and kicked, not screaming words anymore, just screaming. She was barely aware of the middle-aged man in the white lab coat approaching until he stabbed a hypodermic needle into her arm. She gasped, falling to her knees, watching while her consciousness slipped away.

  Chapter 5

  Mindy’s last Top 10 hit Deeper Than You Know thundered from the speakers of Earl’s iPod, plugged into the docking port on his rented Town Car. He drove, just a little too fast, with the windows down, headed for Key Largo. The song was happy, with an upbeat tempo and full of hope for love everlasting. When the song hit the airwaves, two years and three months ago, speculation ran wild in the press that she’d written it for him. She’d never confirmed that rumor; not even to him. Though he liked to think it was true.

  He sang along with the chorus.

  Our love is deeper than you know,

  You set my soul free

  And helped my spirit glow.

  I have no more dark and lonely days.

  Your love has rescued me in so many ways.

  I can shut the door and leave the past behind,

  Because I am yours, and you are mine.

  As soon as the song finished, he hit the back button and played it again.

  Mentally, he rewound his last conversation with Mindy, the one where she’d dumped him. The one where he’d cried like baby; demanded an explanation and begged her to reconsider. To her credit, she’d never told any of that to the press. He could just imagine what his fans would think if they knew. Wouldn’t exactly enhance the strong, masculine image his handlers worked hard to portray. There’d be jokes on The Tonight Show and a Top Ten List on Letterman.

  Mindy’s song finished and this time he let the next song play. John Newman’s Love Me Again. It reminded him of Mindy. So did the next one; Breathless by The Corrs. Even Brown Eyed Girl reminded him of Mindy. It reminded him her eyes were green. Song after song reminded him of her, while he sped down U.S. 1. Lyrics of love and longing brought back two years of happy memories; and two years of anguished ones. Before they’d met, he’d been strictly rock n roll. She’d been all gooey sentiment. If she could see him now she’d laugh and tell him he’d gone soft. Having your heart broken totally sucked.

  He wondered how she’d react when he showed up at the Coral Reef Center. He’d tried visiting her the first time she’d been in rehab, only to discover Vince Allan already there. She’d refused to see him. The second time, he’d been too angry about the first time to even attempt a visit. That had been a mistake. He should have tried anyhow. This time he wasn’t leaving short of someone calling the cops and leading him away in cuffs.

  And he wasn’t going to pressure her about taking him back either. Vince said she still loved him, and in his heart he believed it. But being pressured about their future wasn’t what she needed right now. She needed to work through whatever was tormenting her. And know he was there to support her. Once she conquered her demons, if she was ready to build their life together, he’d be there waiting. And if she kicked him to the curb, he’d take his licks and move on.

  Taking the GPS-suggested turn onto a private, paved road, Earl saw a set of heavy, wrought-iron gates looming a hundred yards ahead. He’d arrived. Much faster than anticipated. The fencing and heavy gate had a forbidding quality. One that surprised him. This was a rehab center. Not a home for the criminally insane. He pulled up to the guard shack in front of the gate, retracted his car window and smiled. The guard, a woman in a black uniform, her blonde hair twisted into a bun, wore a name tag identifying her as Betty.

  Her eyes narrowed when she saw him. She stepped out of the shack, walking to the driver’s side window. “Earl Grayson? Are you checking in today? You name isn’t on my list.”

  He laughed good-naturedly, appraising her quickly. She filled out her guard uniform well. He’d be willing to bet if she took her silky blonde hair out of that ridiculous bun, she’d be downright sexy. “It’s okay
,” he told her. “I’m not checking in. I’m here to see Mindy LePage.”

  “Oh.” She frowned, barely meeting his gaze before looking at her clipboard. “I’m afraid that’s not possible.”

  Earl silently cursed. He should have called ahead. “I’m sorry if I’ve missed visiting day. Perhaps you could tell me what day I should come back.”

  She shook her head, still looking at the clipboard. “You shouldn’t. You aren’t allowed to see her.”

  “Excuse me?” He could scarcely believe he’d heard right. “What do you mean I can’t see her? Did Anthony Howard put you up to this?” He was no fan of Anthony Howard’s and Anthony was no fan of his. Their conversation this morning had been less than cordial.

  “No.” She looked back up from her clipboard, this time scowling. Her hand slid toward the gun she wore on a holster at her hip. “Only family members are allowed to visit the patients. And all visitors must be approved in advance by Shirley Cantwise.”

  Earl tensed as Betty’s hand strayed toward the gun. If he didn’t know better he’d think he’d arrived at a prison. “Who is Shirley Cantwise?”

  “She runs this facility.”

  “Could you please get her? And please take your hand away from that gun. You’re not planning on shooting me, are you?”

  Betty’s gaze hardened, but her hand moved away from her hip. “Wait here.” She picked up the phone on the wall of the guard shack.

  Earl let out a breath and relaxed into the seat of the rental, aware from his tightened fist, increased heart rate and heavy breathing, his body had prepared for a fight. What kind of place was this? An armed guard at the gate? And apparently a trigger-happy one at that.

  Betty returned, eyeing him warily. “Shirley’s on her way. Wait here.”

  He slowed his breathing and unclenched his fists, staring straight at her. He smiled, relaxing his facial muscles, thinking of the scene as a location shoot, acting now like he’d stepped in front of a camera. He was no longer Earl Grayson. He became Storm Jackson, the secret agent he’d portrayed in a series of films. He had a body like steel, the charm of Don Juan and the gadgets of James Bond. Women loved him. Bad guys feared him. And he always; always got the girl and saved the day.

  Instinctively, he took on all the mannerisms of his fictional alter-ego. Throwing his shoulders back, smiling and relaxing his face, while at the same time, tensing his body, readying himself to spring into action. Storm Jackson never got caught off-guard. He noticed everything and now Earl did the same. He took in every detail of his surroundings, from the six-foot height of the spiked, metal fence, to the placement of the arborvitae surrounding it, to the distance between his car and the guard shack. He remained alert. No one would take him by surprise. He sat poised, ready to handle any situation.

  Mere minutes passed before Shirley Cantwise showed up at the gate, chauffeured down in a golf cart, driven by a dark-haired, burly young man in a security uniform bearing the name Ryan.

  Betty pushed a button in her booth, and the gate barring Earl’s way into the Coral Reef Center creaked slowly open. As soon as the gate opened enough to make room, Ryan motored the cart through, parking a couple of feet in front of Earl’s car, using the cart as a barrier to the now open gateway.

  Earl remained still in the vehicle, making no effort to vacate it until Shirley Cantwise climbed out of the golf cart. At that point, he got out of his car and stood in front of her, drawing himself up to his full six-foot, one-inch height. He towered over her and pegged her at about five foot. Maybe less.

  “Mr. Grayson,” Shirley greeted.

  Her voice sounded pleasant. Not nearly as sulky as Betty, the trigger-happy security guard. Shirley smiled. A really wide smile that took up half her face.

  “I can’t tell you what an honor it is to meet you,” she continued. “It’s so good of you to come all this way to support Miss LePage during her time of need. Unfortunately, the circumstances are not ideal.”

  She spoke in a fake, syrupy tone with a Midwestern twang. He gave her a sympathetic smile, still immersed in the Storm Jackson character. “Are circumstances ever ideal when a person one cares about ends up in rehab?”

  She shook her head, casting him a sympathetic gaze. “No. They are not. CRC policy, however, is to limit visitation to immediate family and significant others. We find it helps our patients focus more on their addictions without the distractions of outside life.”

  He supposed that made a certain amount of sense, but he wasn’t letting it go at that. “I don’t know if you’re aware of this, Ms. Cantwise, but Mindy has no living immediate family members, and her most recent significant other has been the person feeding her addiction.”

  “Well, I don’t know.” She appeared to think it over, and looked back at him, wide smile still in place. “It would be highly irregular to allow you in.”

  “I’m sure a caring person like you can understand my distress when someone I care for is crying out for help.” He pressed on. “I believe my presence here could prove useful.”

  “I understand. But….”

  She seemed to be giving in to the idea, and he pressed harder. “And I’m sure a person such as you, who has dedicated her life to helping people through their darkest hours, knows what a blessing the support of a caring person can be.”

  “Naturally.”

  He watched the indecision in her eyes give way to acceptance. “And because you’re such a wise and caring counselor, you undoubtedly put what’s best for your patients above all else.”

  She nodded, giving in to the idea completely. “You do seem to understand the situation with perfect clarity, Mr. Grayson. I can let you stay, but I’m afraid you won’t be able to see Ms. LePage tonight.”

  “Do you suppose I could just have a few minutes with her? Even if it’s not visiting day?”

  “Oh, you can visit her every day,” Shirley said. “Just not today. I’m afraid she attacked her therapist this morning and tried to escape. We had to sedate her.”

  “Oh.” The smile faded from his face. He stepped out of the Storm Jackson role and became himself again. “Thank you, Ms. Cantwise. I’m glad we were able to come to an understanding on this matter.”

  She nodded at Betty. “You can let Mr. Grayson in.” She turned back to Earl, somehow managing to smile even wider. “You can check into the resort area reserved for family members. I’ll radio for Patty to check you in and give you the schedule and CRC information packet.”

  “Thank you for your hospitality, Ms. Cantwise.”

  She clasped her hands together. “Follow me over to the hotel and I’ll help you get settled. Feel free to see me anytime if there’s anything you need.”

  He grinned, feeling on top of the world now. “Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.”

  He watched her hop back into the golf cart and motor inside the gates, turning every few seconds to look back at him. As soon as she had cleared the gate, he got back into his car and followed her inside. CRC was a strange place. If he had to compare it to a movie he’d say One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. And as happy as he was about seeing Mindy, the thought didn’t sit well with him.

  Chapter 6

  Ryan Jarvis felt on top of the world. It had been a long day and he was tired. But not too tired for what was to happen next. At thirty-two, he’d already been through three marriages when he came to Shirley for help. That was back in West Palm Beach, where he’d been a semi-successful boxer, and the help had been court-ordered. Some judge’s idea of dealing with the domestic abuse charges his third ex-wife had thrown at him. He supposed he had it coming. He’d knocked all his women around some.

  Shirley had helped him with that. She’d taught him to suppress his emotions and channel his anger into working to improve the world. Shirley had a great vision for the way the world should work.

  As he knocked on Pauline’s door, two doors down from his own, he imagined Pauline naked. She was shorter than he, which he liked. At five-foot-seven, there seemed
to be too many women he had to look up to. Pauline didn’t make him do that. And she had large breasts; which he also liked. Big tits had always aroused him. He was getting hard by the time she opened the door.

  “Ryan?” She said his name as a question. “What are you doing here?”

  He smiled. He didn’t smile often, but for her, he allowed one. “Shirley sent me.”

  “She did?” She stepped back from the door but continued to stare at him, her brows puzzled together. “Why?”

  Stepping inside, he closed the door behind him. Like all patient and staff rooms, hers consisted of a combination living/bedroom area and a bath. Quiet filled the small space. Nothing to be heard save the occasional screech of a gull and chirping crickets. A fresh breeze blew inside her room, mixing with the cold air from the a/c that had finally started to cool the building, and would soon be shut off for the night.

  Ryan stared at Pauline’s chest, her white blouse not quite hiding the largeness of her breasts. Getting to finally see her naked was going to be fun. “I told Shirley I wanted you for my mate, and she’s agreed.” He didn’t know if the idea appealed to her, but being a CRC adherent, he expected her to follow Shirley’s orders.

  “What?” She looked aghast. Downright emotional. “Are you out of your mind? What do you mean Shirley’s agreed to it? What about me? I didn’t agree to it!”

  “As CRC adherents, we follow Shirley’s orders.” That settled the matter in his mind. He stepped behind her and pulled the clips from her dark brown hair, watching it tumble down her back. “I appreciate you following Shirley’s dress code, but I’d like your hair down while I have sex with you.”

  Pauline spun around, slapping his hand away and striking his face. Her breathing came harder. “Don’t touch me! I am not having sex with you.”

  Ryan lifted his hand to his cheek. Her slap stung. Three years ago he’d have simply slapped her back. Probably more than once. He might have even slammed her into the wall, making sure she knew how much she’d hurt him. Not now though. Following Shirley’s teachings, he took a deep breath and released it slowly, counting as he exhaled. Repeating the process, he waited until the urge to strike back passed. “Of course you are,” he said calmly. “Shirley said I could have you for my mate. Being my mate implies having sex. Sex is the only reason I want a mate.” Why was she arguing the point? “Please take your clothes off.”