by Joe Humphrey
"I'm sorry I scared you," Caroline whispered into her ear. Charlie nodded, unable to actually say anything. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to stay as still as possible. It was earlier than she usually went to bed and she could tell it was going to be a long night.
- 11 -
Charlie stretched out across the bed and her feet didn't even go over the edge. It was taller, side to side, than she was head to toe. This was, by far, the nicest hotel she'd ever been in. Not that she was any kind of hotel expert. She hadn't been in a proper hotel since her trip to Disneyland with her mother, and that had been almost two decades ago. She rolled over and scooted down to the bottom of the bed so that she could sit up and survey the room. They were in a suite and it was pretty swanky. Caroline had specifically asked for this room because it was on the inside of the hotel and the bedroom had no windows.
When Charlie asked if Caroline had been to this hotel before, Caroline smiled and patted her on the hand and said "yes," and then nothing else. Charlie didn't feel comfortable inquiring further. Things were strained, though on the mend.
The last few months were a challenge, to say the least. After that night in the car, when she threatened to kill Charlie, Caroline had spent the next few weeks trying to prove just how normal things could be. She was particularly careful to be respectful of Charlie's privacy and boundaries. They no longer fed together, at the same time. It wasn't any kind of stated choice, but they both knew why. Caroline had invaded Charlie's mind and taken information that was private and used that information to abuse Charlie.
At one point, Charlie sat down with Caroline and tried to have a conversation about what happened that night. Caroline only apologized and said that it wasn't something she wanted to unpack, but that she was very sorry that she lost her temper. No matter how hard Charlie tried to explain that it was a little more than a 'lost temper', Caroline shut her down. One of the unfortunate dynamics of their relationship was that Caroline had a natural parental role, and Charlie was stuck in a child role, and there didn't seem to be a way out of that designation. When Charlie considered this, it made her depressed and hopeless. She felt stuck and had no idea how to get out of her situation.
This was the first time since the night Derek came that Charlie had been by herself. Caroline had insisted that they come to Boulder City because she had a 'surprise' for Charlie. This made her incredibly uncomfortable, but Caroline repeatedly reassured her that she had nothing to fear and that it was a good surprise and that it would help their relationship.
This last part about helping their relationship didn't particularly excite Charlie. Ever since that night in the car when Caroline had accused her of wanting to leave, Charlie had been slowly and deliberately disengaging from their relationship. Caroline knew it as well, and even though she was on her best behavior, Charlie could tell that she was becoming more and more desperate as Charlie distanced herself further.
Then, almost without warning, a week ago, she seemed to shift dramatically. She went from almost pathetically begging Charlie to stay engaged in their relationship to simply being in what they had left, and apparently happy to do it. The shift was jarring and not unpleasant, as it allowed Charlie to relax just a little and enjoy their time together. Nothing further had happened that might have caused the warning bells to go off in Charlie's head. No yelling or threatening or hitting. Just a perfectly pleasant, mostly platonic, friendly relationship.
For the first time since the incident in the car, Charlie felt some genuine guilt about the idea of leaving. She liked Caroline. Hell, she loved her. She felt protective of her and wanted her to be happy. She wasn't planning on leaving to hurt Caroline. She just needed to protect herself and to find her own way in the world. While she still had a lot to learn, she felt as though she had enough tools to make it as a vampire. It might take some false starts and a scary first few years, but she was confident that she could survive and even eventually thrive.
The drive from Flagstaff to Boulder City was pleasant. Caroline was in a chipper mood and they sang to old Motown songs on the radio and talked about TV shows and books they were reading. Charlie had asked several times where they were going and Caroline would only laugh and tell her to stop asking. When they started seeing signs for Las Vegas, Charlie got extremely excited and Caroline had to tell her that they weren't quite going to Vegas, but close.
Charlie knew that Las Vegas was near the border Caroline wasn't allowed to cross, but the idea that they might be able to go there was something that Charlie had never considered. When they finally got to their destination, Charlie was surprised to find that it was not Las Vegas, but Boulder City, the home of the Hoover Dam. Charlie tried not to let her disappointment show. While it might be cool to see the dam, it was no Vegas strip.
It was particularly disappointing when they went to drive across it because, while it was impressive, it was also dark and the tours didn't run at night. They spent all of a half-hour driving around the thing and then Caroline pulled over into a scenic rest stop and killed the engine.
"I want you to know that I love you very much," Caroline said. Charlie looked at her, trying to figure out what was going through her head and failing.
"I love you too," Charlie said. Caroline took her hand and kissed it.
"This isn't the surprise. I have to go get it tomorrow. I think you're going to love it,"
"What IS it though?" Charlie asked, whining. Caroline shook her head and touched the end of Charlie's nose with her gloved finger.
They went back to the hotel and watched TV together until Charlie fell asleep.
She'd awakened alone in the suite. Sitting on top of the TV was a note on hotel stationery, written with Caroline's careful handwriting. It said:
'Charlie, I've gone out to pick up our surprise. Stay in the room and I will be back lickity-split. Love, Caroline.'
Charlie was genuinely curious about what it was that Caroline was doing. Whatever this surprise was, she was certain it was going to change things for them. Whether that was for the better or not, Charlie didn't know, and that made her nervous.
So she turned on the TV and watched Kojak for a while but couldn't focus on the story. By the time 10:30 rolled around, Charlie barely noticed that the show had ended. She was getting worried about what exactly Caroline was going to bring back to the hotel with her. More and more, she believed it would be trouble.
- 12 -
When she heard a key unlock the door to the suite, Charlie's heart jumped up into her throat. Charlie was in the bedroom of the suite and she heard Caroline come in and the door close down the hall.
"Shut your eyes," Caroline called down the hall. Charlie reluctantly did as she was told. She heard Caroline open the bedroom door and walk across the room. She felt her place something heavy on the bed. It could have been a dog. It had the weight of a good-sized dog. It wasn't a dog, and Charlie knew it. Charlie knew exactly what it was and felt the tears coming before she opened her eyes.
"Who is this?" Charlie asked, barely whispering, afraid to open her eyes and see what she knew was laying in the bed next to her.
"Shhh... she's sleeping," Caroline said. Charlie opened her eyes and saw Caroline sitting in the chair across from the bed. She was smiling, her eyes bright with madness. She was so sure she'd found the solution to their problems. So proud of herself. There was something else there as well. It was a certainty that she'd pinned Charlie down. Charlie didn't fully understand how yet, but there was a cockiness in that smile that said 'you're mine now' in a way more frightening than anything Caroline had said in the car that night.
Charlie turned and looked at the child lying next to her on the bed. It was a girl of maybe five with sandy blonde hair. Her mouth hung open and she let out a tiny little snore. Charlie covered her own mouth with her hand to suppress a gasp.
"WHO IS SHE?" Charlie hissed from behind her hand.
"This is Alison, Charlie. She's ours now."
"No! No she isn't," Charlie said
, trying to keep her voice down and failing. "Where are her parents?"
Caroline got up and went to the bed and sat down next to the girl and moved a lock of hair out of her face.
"We're her parents. We're going to take her back to Flagstaff with us and she's going to be ours to take care of."
"Are you fucking crazy?" Charlie hissed. She looked at the girl for a long moment, then picked up the child's hand and turned it over. There was a small red line across the inside of her wrist. It was almost healed but definitely there. "You fed on her? On this little girl?!"
"You should too before you flip her," Caroline said. Charlie's mouth fell open and she struggled to say anything.
"Before I what?"
Caroline seemed to be somewhere else as she spoke.
"A child's blood is... exquisite," Caroline whispered. Charlie could only stare at the little girl sleeping next to her. The anxiety that was building inside her evolved into a rage as her vision clouded with tears.
"We are NOT flipping her," Charlie said, getting up from the bed and standing over Caroline, as though she could intimidate the woman with her size. "That is not happening!"
"No?" Caroline said, putting her finger to her chin as though she were considering something trivial. "Then what will we do with her?"
"We're taking her back where she came from," Charlie said, turning back to the girl and moving to scoop her up.
"Do you even know where she came from?"
"You're going to tell me," Charlie said, now carrying the girl. It was awkward since the kid was still asleep, but Charlie managed her way towards the door.
"Oh yes, where she came from. She's yours, Charlie. That's your baby girl."
Charlie stopped walking.
"What?"
"You heard me," Caroline said, smiling. Charlie turned around.
"You're lying."
"Am I?" Caroline said, indicating the bed. "Put her back. We need to talk about the future."
Charlie turned around.
- 13 -
Charlie stood over the girl on the bed and Caroline joined her. She was shaking and when Caroline put her arm around her shoulder, Charlie shuddered. a decision was cementing itself in her mind.
"I want to talk to her. Can we wake her up?" Charlie asked. Caroline shook her head.
"No, I gave her half a valium. She'll be out for a while."
"So she won't wake up if I just have a little taste?" Charlie asked, looking back over her shoulder at Caroline, who smiled broadly and shook her head.
"No, she's down for the count. You fill your boots."
Charlie nodded and went to her backpack, which was sitting by the bed, and took out her folding knife. Warning lights were flashing in her head, screaming at her not to do what she was about to do. It went against everything she knew to be right, but it was the only way she could see to protect the girl. She walked over and stood behind Caroline, who was sitting on the bed next to Alison. Charlie put her arms around Caroline's shoulders from behind, in an embrace that was part hug and part desperate clinging.
"I love you, momma," Charlie said in a whisper, then placed a kiss on the back of Caroline's head. Caroline tried to turn and look at Charlie, but Charlie held her in place.
"Charlie. What are you doing?" Caroline was able to say before Charlie slashed the knife across her throat. Caroline let out a choked, guttural scream that would have been ear piercing if it wasn't drowned in blood, and turned around. Caroline's eyes were wide and wild and she stared at Charlie over the cascading blood spewing from her neck and mouth. The hurt in her eyes was devasting. Charlie glanced down at the knife she was holding and then her head cleared and she jumped at Caroline, pushing her back onto the bed. Caroline tried to push back but was off-balance, and they both fell back, Caroline flat on her back, her legs kicking and her arms flailing, as Charlie plunged the knife into her chest once, twice, a third time. On the third strike, Caroline's back arched violently, and blackish-red blood jetted from her mouth and spattered against the wallpaper. Then, as soon as it had started, Caroline was still, the handle of the knife protruding from the center of her chest, her white blouse now red with blood. Charlie pulled the knife from her chest, wiped the blood off of it with the comforter on the bed, and closed it.
Charlie had to suppress the urge to wail as anguish over what'd she'd just done washed over her. Caroline was dead. She killed her. When the initial shock passed, Charlie was able to look at the sleeping child in the bed next to Caroline, and Charlie was filled with a sense of purpose and drive to do the right thing. Finally, for the first time in years, what she had to do felt like the right thing. Charlie picked up Caroline's purse from the desk and dropped it into her backpack. The same backpack she'd worn the day she'd left Nephi. The same backpack she'd carried to school a million years ago. She slung the pack over her shoulder and scooped the child up in her arms and left the hotel room without looking back at the body of her mentor, her lover, her friend, and her tormentor.
- 14 -
Charlie sat behind the wheel of the Cadillac and stared at the sleeping girl curled up on the seat next to her. It was after midnight and Charlie wasn't entirely sure what she should do next. After leaving the hotel, Charlie drove to a rest stop a few miles up the road and sat in the car, and looked through Caroline's purse for any information about where the kid had come from. She found plenty of interesting stuff, but nothing that gave her the answer to that question. So Charlie did the only thing she could think of, which was drive to the local police station.
Now that she was parked in the lot in front of the station, she wasn't sure she could do what needed to be done. She did know that she needed to do it before the girl woke up. She didn't want the child to have any memory of her or what had happened. As long as she was asleep, Charlie felt as though she was safe.
Charlie got out of the car and opened the trunk. As usual, Caroline had a stash of blankets (and a shovel and pickaxe, and other various tools). Charlie grabbed a green army blanket and went to the passenger side door. When she opened it and looked down at the sleeping child, she was washed over with grief and regret. Not just for killing Caroline or for giving the child up for adoption, but for having been involved in a situation that could have killed the child. She hated herself for her part in putting Alison in danger. She scooped the child up and started walking to the front door of the Police Station.
The air was chilly and she worried that the girl was cold, but knew that she'd be inside soon, and reunited with her family soon after that.
"Are you an angel?" a little voice came from the bundle in Charlie's arms. Charlie stopped walking for a moment and froze.
"Shh. Go back to sleep. You're going to be back home and in your bed in no time, I promise," Charlie said, tears filling her eyes.
"Okay," the girl said, seeming to drift back off to sleep. Charlie started walking again. Just as she was walking up the steps to the Police Station entrance, the girl spoke again, through the fog of valium induced sleep.
"You smell like Disneyland."
This was a punch in the heart to Charlie, who shook as she lowered the girl to the marble ground at the top of the steps.
"Goodbye sweetheart. I love you," Charlie said, then turned and jogged back to the car.
- 15 -
Caroline's house was dark when Charlie pulled into the garage. It felt particularly quiet and dead in a way that Charlie had never experienced before. Walking into the house, knowing that it would never see Caroline again, Charlie was struck by the idea that it was really just a house. It wasn't ominous or threatening or anything other than a place where two women had lived and loved and fought and even killed together.
She flipped on the light switch in the kitchen and looked at the place where she'd killed the old man. It didn't feel haunted or charged with energy. It was just a kitchen. She walked over to the bookcase and meant to pick out a few particularly meaningful books, but couldn't manage to come up with anything that stuck out. T
hey were all a product of a life that she no longer needed. They were mile markers on the highway behind her, and she wasn't looking back.
The same was true for most of her clothes in the secret room behind Caroline's wardrobe. They just didn't feel like they belonged to her anymore. She'd killed any right to wear them along with Caroline.
Fuck. Caroline was dead. Charlie sat down on the bed and, for the first time since she'd done what she did, Charlie cried for Caroline. She crawled up the bed to her pillow and sobbed into it. The fact was that, regardless of how controlling and manipulative and cruel Caroline could be at times, Charlie had cared for her, deeply. She'd loved her. She'd looked at her as a partner. They'd had plans to spend the rest of their lives together. While Charlie understood that Caroline was toxic and that they were certainly doomed, it didn't make it hurt any less that she was dead. Dead because of her.
After what felt like hours, but was likely no more than fifteen minutes, Charlie gathered herself and dropped an extra pair of jeans and a couple of t-shirts, as well as some extra underwear and socks, into her backpack and left the secret room for the last time.
Charlie started to go through Caroline's dresser drawers but felt wrong about it, so she stopped. Caroline may be dead, but she'd been such an intensely private person, and Charlie still felt weird about invading that privacy. She left the bedroom and went back to the kitchen. The last thing she needed was in the entryway table by the door to the garage.
Charlie opened the drawer and took out Caroline's bankbook and a stack of checkbooks and a pen. She dropped these into her backpack and went back to the Cadillac, leaving the house dark again.