Queen's Guard 01 The Queen's Guard: Violet

by Traci E Hall

Her eyes welled. “You are not free to love me either.”

  He dropped his forehead to hers. “No.”

  “I’ve shared my tale. Now tell me yours.” Her palm rested on his wildly beating heart. The thin linen of his shirt was too much between them.

  “For a kiss?” He could not get enough.

  She lifted her head, boldly seeking his mouth. “A kiss. For every secret.”

  “And two can play?” He had secrets to pry from her wine-flavored lips.

  “Oui.” She relaxed in his arms, her cheek against his chest. He dared not give in to the anger that usually came with the memories, lest he frighten her away. It might not be the right choice, but he couldn’t let her go.

  “It is not a unique tale, but it’s mine.”

  “Intriguing.”

  He put his chin on top of her head, knowing it would be easier to just tell the story as if it had happened to someone else. “The loyalty you have for your queen is the same I have for Manuel.”

  She nodded, content in his arms.

  “I was married once and had a son.” His chest ached, but he breathed out and the ache passed. “I was chief in my village. One day I was out with my hunting party. When we came back, our village was burnt to the ground. A mere skirmish to the Turks and, yes, Christians.”

  “I am so sorry.” She placed her hand against his chest above his heart.

  “I was responsible. I failed.”

  “It was a brutal act of war.”

  Her defense of him stung. He didn’t deserve it. He dropped her to the floor. “You know nothing.” He couldn’t tell her the rest, that it was his sister who slept with Raymond, prince of Antioch, who then called the Turks in to slay his village and blame the deed on his Muslim enemy. For power.

  She stood, brushing her rear with her palms. “I know pain. God knows I understand about that. It was not your fault you were out hunting for food, and your village was destroyed while you were gone. It’s sad. So sad that I am crying for you, but it is not your fault.” She stared at him, tears streaming down her cheeks.

  He lashed out, before he fell completely in love and forgot his wife and son. “I owe Manuel everything. He gave me authority to hunt down the Turks responsible. To raid against the Christian who set up the deception.”

  “I understand.” She pleaded with him, her hand outstretched, appealing as an angel.

  “Tell me what you know of the queen and what she really wants from the emperor. Her attempts at creating a friendship outside her relationship with her husband have not gone unnoticed.”

  Bella dropped her hand, tilting her head. “So you add using me to your list of supposed sins.” She looked about the cozy chamber: at the food, at the bed behind the silk curtains. “You were going to seduce me for information?” She laughed, then lowered her head. “You didn’t have to work so hard.”

  “You are a beautiful duty.” He bit the inside of his cheek, tasting blood but refusing to further explain to take away the hurt he saw in her eyes, the unavoidable hurt he’d hoped to avoid.

  ”I see.”

  His next words came unbidden. “You don’t see, Bella, and that is why I—you—must take care. All is not as it seems, and royals have a different sense of loyalty that does not apply to the rest of us.”

  “You sound as if you speak from a newly discovered truth. I’m sorry for you. I trust my queen with my life.”

  Lady Isabella, royal member of the Queen’s Guard, stood proudly before him, no sign of the soft woman he’d held in his arms remaining. Just as he’d wanted.

  “Take me back to my room.”

  CHAPTER 21

  Bella left him in the tunnel without a word, so angry with herself she wanted to scream. She’d known all along he was using her. He was the one who didn’t know he was being used. She’d come so close to telling him there in his room as he tormented himself with guilt, but then he’d changed and she’d been reminded of her own duty.

  Instead of going to her shared chamber, she turned toward Queen Eleanor’s private room, taking a chance that the queen would be in. She desperately needed to talk. Was she a fool?

  Did she trust her heart or her liege?

  Was there ever enough room for both?

  She knocked quickly. Larissa opened the door, scowling. “The queen is resting.”

  Bella knew how difficult it was for the queen to find sleep, so she bowed her head and thought to leave a message with the maid.

  “Do you have need of me?” Eleanor’s throaty voice carried across the suite.

  Cheeks hot, Bella backed away. “Non. I am sorry for disturbing you.”

  “Bella, Violet, is that you? I would see my guard, Larissa.”

  Larissa huffed, then lit a lantern from the candle stub she’d been holding. “I’m going to sleep. I have work to do in the morning and can’t afford to be up all night gossiping.”

  “Is that what you think we do, Larissa?” Eleanor, laughing, slipped into a robe by her bed, then patted the edge of the mattress. “Come sit, Bella. You look pretty this eve. I hear tell that Raoul kidnapped you.”

  With a relieved sigh, Bella sat, folding her hands in her lap. “Not a kidnapping. Though my pride would like to plead differently, I went willingly.”

  “Our Sarah is not the only one thinking with her heart.” Eleanor smiled in the shadows.

  “Is it so obvious?”

  “Oui, but because I watch, out of concern. I would protect you as you protect me, only with words of caution instead of a bow and arrow. I warn you to guard your heart against a man who uses you for his own purpose.” She paused. “Well done today, Bella.”

  “Because I acted the fool in front of everyone?” Again.

  “You shot the apple in perfect halves. While I’m sorry the laughter was at your expense, afterward the emperor made a point to commend your skill. He also noted that we’d kept the drama lighthearted instead of combative. It was very, very well done.”

  Bella, remembering the reason the queen had arranged for them to be there, asked, “Were you able to speak with him regarding your uncle?”

  “Non.” The queen knotted the end of her robe tie. “I would lead the conversation to a natural opening of politics, and Louis would somehow drag us all back to the honorable Crusade, lamenting how he waited for his fellow Crusaders before he could march again.”

  “Hmm.” Bella was never certain if the queen loved her king as he loved her or if gaining power for her family was what motivated her to work so hard.

  “Manuel hinted we’ve overstayed our welcome by suggesting we wait for Savoy and Monferrat by the harbor. He promised bargains, fairer than before, if we moved our camp outside the city walls.” Eleanor dropped the knotted tie to her lap. “I think we should go directly to Antioch, but Louis”—she shook her head—”is being uncharacteristically stubborn.”

  “When would we leave?” Bella touched her fingertips together and pressed. Her heart ached at the idea of harsh words being the last thing spoken between her and Raoul.

  “Louis took offense, seeing clearly that Manuel is afraid we would turn against him once Savoy arrives with reinforcements to our army. He told the emperor we were not here to bring war upon other Christians but to save Edessa. That’s why we left the meal so early.”

  “I was too embarrassed to wonder at anything. Just grateful it was time to go.”

  “It happened so subtly I am not sure anyone else got the gist of the argument. Louis is hurt. He thought Manuel to be a Christian and an ally. My good husband does not think in terms of gaining land or riches, not when he can save his soul.” Eleanor’s laugh was brittle. “I was raised knowing that he who has the most land and soldiers and money to pay them is usually the one in charge. Aquitaine was bigger than France, but my lands lacked soldiers and an army, making me a plump prize for Louis. Not only did he get me and my money; he got my land, which doubled the size of his kingdom.”

  Bella took the queen’s hand and gave it a squeeze.
/>   “Well,” Eleanor said with a nod. “My husband will not take my advice on military matters, though I am as learned as he. But Uncle Raymond knows that a woman of Aquitaine is no doormat to be trod upon. We have brains as large as a man’s. If I were a man, I would be king and then … Ah, I am not, and that is always the rub.”

  Bella, unsure what to say, said nothing. She thought she’d come to talk to the queen, but perhaps she needed to listen.

  “Uncle Raymond has promised to assist me if I can get Louis to help him become king of Outremer. Manuel’s approval is a large component. Divided, our Christian states will fall. We must be united to stand against the Muslim threat, and we need Manuel’s assistance.”

  Bella sighed. It seemed a lot of what the queen needed was beyond her royal means or control.

  “Louis does not want war before he sees the Holy Land, and I cannot get close enough to Manuel to see his mind.” She huffed. “I leaned over the empress to speak to him, and she actually pinched my side, the bitch. She protects him.”

  “She did what?”

  The queen laughed softly at Bella’s outrage. “I cannot fault her there. I might do the same, if I felt threatened.”

  “What shall we do, then? If we are to leave tomorrow—” Bella was ready to pack or plan or train. Whatever the queen desired, she would see it done.

  “I can stall Louis’s leaving for another day but no more. His mind is set on not being a burden on the emperor’s coffers. He would be honest to the end. The monastery would have been the best choice for him, if only his idiot brother, Philip, hadn’t gotten killed.”

  Bella nodded. She had heard the stories of Philip’s reckless ways.

  “I’ve only borne girls. In France, that is almost as powerless as being barren.”

  Bella understood the underlying reason behind Eleanor’s restlessness. She was a powerful woman in her own right being thwarted by men and their decisions. The queen fought every day to be heard against the king’s advisors, who would not listen because she was a woman and the church didn’t sanction women in power. A tangled web, with Eleanor in the center.

  “Enough of that,” Eleanor said, taking Bella’s hands between hers. “What brings you to me?”

  “Raoul told me tonight he’s been spying on me.”

  “We knew that.” The queen’s eyes narrowed. “Violet, has he yet discovered that you are doing the same?”

  “He feels guilt for taking advantage of me.” Bella shook her head, wishing things could be different, knowing the wish was futile.

  “Good. Then we have time for one more roll of the dice before we leave this ancient city. Raoul is the man who sees to Manuel’s affairs. I would have him bring me to Manuel privately, so that I may speak to the emperor without the restrictions of Louis or Irene.”

  “That’s not wise.” Bella met the queen’s eyes. “They don’t trust you.”

  Eleanor’s gaze hardened. “It’s a chance I must take for the good of Aquitaine. I would have the lands that Raymond has promised to make my share larger, to make Aquitaine more powerful—more powerful than France.”

  Bella bowed her head. “It’s treason for you to speak this way. You are safe with me; I would die for you, but to another ruler? You take too big of a chance. Not just with your life but with the king’s.”

  “Manuel must hear the promises my uncle makes from my lips. Raymond says he’s attempted to negotiate with Manuel but fears his messengers aren’t getting through, and time is of the essence. If we are to act, it must be soon.” The iron in the queen’s voice indicated there would be no more arguments.

  She lifted her head, anxious with foreboding. “I will arrange it with Raoul.”

  “Good. I’m sorry your heart is involved, Bella. We leave in two days. I do not need an entire guard of pregnant women, so take precautions. Our reputation is risqué enough.”

  “I—” Bella couldn’t speak.

  “There is no harm in physical pleasure. The harm comes from the expectations that pleasure brings. I have often said that Mamie is the luckiest of us all, though even she does not feel complete without a child. Perhaps, Bella, we are all meant to be a bit unhappy in this life so we can better appreciate heaven.”

  Bella shook her head. “I cannot accept that we are meant to live in misery.”

  “No, not misery. Just not complete happiness either.”

  Bella looked down at her hands. Did she know anyone who claimed utter contentment? “The closest I have come to such happiness is within the guard. In your private retinue. You’ve taught me so much.” She glanced at Eleanor and smiled.

  “Don’t sound so grateful, Bella. You’ve grown into the strength that was there all along. I but cultivated it for my own purposes.” The queen’s mouth turned down at the corners. “I will disband the Queen’s Guard once we get home, although not the services my ladies provide. Instead of being a flash of glory to impress others, my ladies will become more subtle in their ways. Perhaps instead of the Queen’s Guard, I will have the Queen’s Garden.” She opened her hand. “A woman must always have her fingers in many pies.”

  Bella dipped her head, not certain that a life of intrigue was one she wanted. “I will speak with Raoul. Is there anything else you need from me?”

  “I’ve already asked the others who wished to see the city to walk and note any places where it might seem weak. With Mamie’s assistance, Catherine can draw the maps for my uncle. Buy silks and things you will need for the journey before we are outside the great wall, when those things will triple in price.”

  “All right.” Bella stood, reminded of the charms she’d bought. “And what of Raoul? Should I try to appease the guilt he feels?”

  The queen shrugged out of her robe and pulled back the blanket. “No! It makes him vulnerable. Use it to get what you want.”

  CHAPTER 22

  The day dawned overcast, but Bella found the weather appropriate. In the wake of the queen’s demand for a private meeting with Manuel, Bella had quite forgotten to discuss her worries regarding Jonathon.

  Determined, Bella dressed simply and went downstairs in search of Raoul. When she couldn’t find him breaking his fast with the others in the hall, she sent a messenger to find him and waited by the fountain in the palace courtyard.

  It wasn’t long before Raoul arrived, sitting next to her in full view of anyone who cared to notice. She was on a mission, a quest, and she would not let his dark eyes or broad shoulders or vulnerability sway her from her course.

  “Have you forgiven me already? I was prepared to send flowers.” He didn’t waste any effort toward smiling.

  She answered in an equally serious tone. “The queen wishes to see your emperor. Alone. Will you set up a meeting—discreetly?”

  His upper lip curled. “I am always discreet.”

  Bella lifted her chin. “Yes or no? We leave tomorrow.”

  His eyes flashed. “So soon?”

  “It seems our king has taken offense at your emperor’s lack of faith in his holy cause.” Bella sat as still as a bird on a perch.

  Raoul blinked, giving none of his thoughts away.

  “Signing the truce with the Turks should have been our first clue that not all was as it seemed here in Constantinople.” She challenged him to refute the statement or the intent behind it.

  Raoul looked up at the sky, then at the tall towers of the great wall. “I will help you arrange the meeting.”

  Bella folded her hands together in her lap and waited. Raoul never gave her something without wanting a favor in return.

  “But you must help me first.”

  “With what? I have already shared more than I should.”

  “I would not have you go back to France without understanding Star and Serena.”

  “The leopards?” She winced. “We have a day left in your city, and you would show me your pets?”

  He stood. “I am on my way now. Come with me.”

  Bella told herself she was being wishful, imagin
ing he was asking for more than just a chance to scratch behind the leopard’s ears. She should go back to her room and ready her things.

  Until the queen met with the emperor, she had to play nice with the emperor’s man. “I must send word to the queen.” She rose and looked for a messenger.

  “Tell her I will have an answer for her when we return.”

  “I cannot be gone all day. There are preparations for leaving to be made.”

  “We will enjoy a picnic.” His tone left no room for argument, reminding her he held all the power.

  Or did he? She hummed doubtfully and tapped her toe.

  “You don’t like food?” He stepped back.

  “I don’t seem to eat much when I am with you.” She turned her face to hide her smile.

  “Something always happens.” He shrugged.

  “Something you create.” Bella exhaled as if extremely put upon. “I could starve to death.”

  “In half a day? I will be on my best behavior.” Raoul held out his arms, as innocent as a large, fierce warrior could be.

  “I agree then, just to see what your best behavior looks like.”

  He grinned, gesturing for one of the beige-clad house slaves to approach. It happened to be the little boy who had gotten rich off their argument last eve.

  “You forgave him, my lady?”

  Bella smiled at the runner. “Non. But he is persistent.” She pulled one of the coins she’d borrowed from Fay from her pocket. “Will you please bring word to Queen Eleanor that Lady Isabella will be seeing the city today with Lord Raoul? I’ll be back this afternoon. If I am not, tell her to check the leopard pen to see if he’s fed me to his cats.”

  The boy nodded, giggled, then ran to deliver his message.

  “He will miss you when you leave.” Raoul jerked his chin at the boy.

  And I will miss you. “He’s darling.”

  Raoul held out his hand. “Would you like to buy him?”

  “Non,” Bella replied hotly before remembering their cultures were different. “I would buy his freedom.”

  “That would send him to the streets, where he would be killed. It is safer for him here in the palace. For now. I will watch him for you.”