Every Day I Loved You

by Robin Edwards

“Yes, I do.” I laughed. “I’m sure it would be great to run into everyone beforehand but the only classmates I’ve run into since I’ve been home was you and Liam. Then again, I haven’t really gone much of anywhere.”

  “Liam! The perfect example of why I love high school reunions. Although, he’s the exception because I see him in town sometimes, but we haven’t spoken except the occasionally hello. He’s one of the ones I’m shocked about the most.”

  “Liam? Really, why?” I asked.

  “He looks so good now, not that he didn’t before but damn you were such a lucky girl,” Cherie said mock fanning herself.

  “What do you mean?” I was confused as to why I was so lucky when it came to him.

  “You were so lucky to date him when you did and way before the bullshit came into town, ruining everything for everyone,” she explained.

  “Liam and I never dated, we were just friends. We’ve always just been friends.” I explained.

  “Wait, let me get this straight. You two have only been friends the entire time?” she was shocked.

  “Yeah, just friends.”

  “So the two of you have never been on a single date?”

  “Nope, not a single date. We hung out every day but they were never considered dates or anything like that.”

  “Have you two ever kissed, hugged, or done anything more than that?” she asked.

  “We’ve hugged but that’s just friend type of hugs. We literally have done nothing else nor has it ever come up.”

  “So he’s single as far as you know because last I heard he had a girlfriend and I’ve always assumed it was you,” Cherie explained.

  “Nope, that wasn’t me. I’m not sure about the girlfriend situation but as far as I know, he’s completely single and there are no plans that say he and I plan to date each other nor want to.” I assured her.

  “Great, because I was thinking about asking him out…oh my God, that’s not lame is it?” she asked.

  “No, not at all.” I laughed.

  “So, you went to California, huh? I heard around the rumor mill that you took off to California with some hot college guy but I didn’t know if it was accurate or not because of the whole Liam thing.”

  “Well, I was accepted to Stanford which was the school Roger my college boyfriend at the time, went to. Long story short, we graduated and then a couple of years ago we got engaged and started living together.”

  “Wow, you’re getting married? Look at you girl, it’s so shocking because I never imagined you as the getting married type. I mean you were so AV club know what I mean? So…”

  “Nerdy?” I suggested.

  “Yes! No, I mean…”

  “It’s alright, I knew I was so lame back then but I was so proud of it.”

  “Yeah, and you had Liam who was just as nerdy as you were, if not even worse.”

  “Yeah, he was, wasn’t he?.” I agreed with a laugh.

  “He was so nerdy especially when he went on those tirades of his. Girl, he used to get on everyone’s nerves and sometimes I wanted to just slap him upside the head because he was only making it worse for himself.”

  “Yep, that was Liam. He really didn’t care who he pissed off, he was going to say and do what he wanted.”

  “So, when’s the wedding?”

  I contemplated whether or not I should tell her the truth about what happened between Roger and me and the real reason why I was back home. A part of me figured I should just lie about it because it wasn’t as if I was going to stay in town permanently nor did I think I was going to hang out with Cherie again but at the same time I wasn’t ashamed of what happened. Sure, I was still upset but not ashamed or embarrassed.

  “Roger and I split up recently so I came home.” I shrugged.

  “Oh, so you aren’t still with that fiancé of yours? I thought you were just visiting, I didn’t know you came back because you and your fiancé split.”

  “I had to come back home because Roger’s name was on everything. I just really didn’t want to be a part of any of it as much as I didn’t want things to end.”

  “I’m sorry it happened to you.” she patted my hand.

  “It’s alright, I’m getting over it.”

  “Do you think the two of you will ever reconcile?” she asked.

  “I don’t know, I hope so but I’m not sure it’s in the cards.” I shrugged again.

  “That’s too bad. I love a good happy ending.”

  The bell hanging over the entrance rang indicating that a new customer walked in and I glanced up at the distraction and in walked Liam. What was he doing here?

  We weren’t supposed to hang out for a couple of hours. Things have been a little weird between us lately and I knew I was partly to blame. I was dealing with all sorts of conflicting emotions I really didn’t want to feel. I was going through a flurry of emotions including guilt, confusion, anger, and pain. Memories and thoughts I had forgotten about for years were starting to resurface after being buried in the back of my mind.

  I wanted to take a few days away from him but knowing Liam, that was pretty much non-negotiable. Liam made sure we were pretty much tied at the hip once I came back and he always called to let me know that he was coming over and if he couldn’t hang out he always let me know what his schedule was.

  I think I had him at Godzilla vs. Mothra and I wasn’t looking forward to telling him that I wasn’t planning on staying here forever with him. I hoped he didn’t think I was, we didn’t really talk about my future plans.

  The other day he mentioned the word forever and in the back of his mind, I’m pretty sure whenever he thought about his future, I was always there. Or at least he assumed I would always be there. I wasn’t sure how I was going to explain all of this to him or the fact that I needed to fix my life as much as I cared about him and loved having him around.

  “Hi.” Liam waved at the two of us as he passed by, his eyes focusing on me. He was careful not to interrupt my plans with Cherie as much as he probably wanted to join us.

  “Hey, Liam.” I nodded back at him before I turned back to Cherie.

  “Damn, he grew up nice. In senior year when he changed his looks, I knew he had potential. He just had to drop that weird personality of his. Please tell me he’s not weird anymore.”

  “No, not really but then again he’s never really been weird in my eyes,” I said, fiddling with my coffee cup.

  “Thank God because that would be such a waste of a good looking man,” she said fanning herself. “Are you sure you two aren’t together in any kind of fashion?”

  “No.” I laughed again. “Just friends.”

  “Oh, good. For a minute there, I was thinking maybe he was the reason why you and your fiancé broke up.”

  “No, why would you think that.”

  “I don’t know. I guess it’s a lot of things including the way he looked at you just now.”

  “Oh. It had nothing to do with Liam. We…just…had different priorities I guess. He cheated on me, actually. Then he said he didn’t want to be together anymore.”

  “Ouch. I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Shit happens I guess.”

  After receiving his order, Liam smiled and waved at the both of us before leaving the coffee shop.

  “Shoot, I’ve got to get going. I’m sorry Margaret, I forgot I had to meet up with my mom. She wanted my help picking out songs for choir practice at the church tomorrow.”

  “Oh, it’s not a problem. I appreciate catching up with you and if I don’t see you soon I’ll probably see you at the reunion.”

  “You better! I’m going to catch up to Liam, you don’t mind do you?” she asked hesitantly.

  “No, go ask him out before he gets away.” I smiled.

  “Thank you so much. It was great seeing you again.” Cherie put her hand on mine before she started to walk quickly after him before he got into his SUV.

  I should have been happy but I wasn’t for some reason. The idea of Cherie wanting
to hang out with Liam bothered me more than it should have. It only brought back memories of high school when the jocks gave us a hard time while everyone just let it happen, not wanting to get involved. They didn’t want to get noticed nor get picked on either and then when Liam got his little makeover, all of the attention started.

  They didn’t care about who he was until he started to look better and I hated superficiality. What I hated the most was when Liam let it happen and started to take advantage of it. He let those people get away with being shallow and he relished it. Most of all he started to forget about me.

  EIGHT

  The following week Liam asked if I wanted to go with him to a bonfire party a couple of hours away at Ocean Shores Beach that he was invited to. I didn’t really want to go because I wanted to mope at home. The idea of losing Roger hit me harder that week because it was what would have been our seventh anniversary of becoming a couple.

  We had plans of going to Greece to celebrate our anniversary because I’ve always wanted to go and see historical sites in Athens and to experience the romanticism in the Santorini Islands.

  The thought of him possibly taking the intern I caught him cheating with or some other woman to Greece burned a hole in my heart and I just wasn’t in the mood to hang out with Liam anymore let alone go to some party with people I probably didn’t know or want to reunite with.

  Despite feeling the way I did, Liam managed to convince me to go saying that focusing on something else would help me take my mind off of whatever was troubling me. He didn’t push me to talk about what was going on with me like he usually did and I really didn’t want to talk about it anyway.

  January 20th -

  Hey Journal,

  I’m really trying hard to keep up with you but as I said in my first entry, this whole thing is stupid. I shouldn’t be forced to talk about how I’m feeling and it’s idiotic to do so. Dwelling on emotions as much as society does is the reason why there is so much strife in the world. People need to stop focusing on what they are feeling because all it does is remind them why they feel the way they do. Liam taught me that or at least that’s what I’ve learned whenever he pestered me to talk about what I was feeling or thinking.

  I don’t know why he does that. In fact, I hate when he does that. There are just some times where I just don’t want to tell him anything. He just worms his way into my head sometimes and I hate that. I really do.

  He invited me to some party today and as much as I don’t really want to go, he got his way and now I’m going with him. He should be going with Cherie. Did I tell you she asked him out? He makes me so mad sometimes.

  -Margaret K.

  I shut my journal the second I heard Liam’s footsteps thundering up my stairs. It was late in the afternoon and in a couple of hours, the sun would start to set so Liam was anxious to get on the road. He wanted us to be able to see the sunset on our way to the party and better yet, get there early and see the sunset from the beach. He was so sentimental sometimes, it was almost sickening.

  “Ready to go, Mags?” he asked as he barged into my room.

  “Yes, I’m ready to go. Did you bring everything?”

  “It’s all packed in the trunk. I brought chairs, an extra towel, beer and a change of clothes.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to bring Cherie?” I asked.

  “Cherie? Why would I bring Cherie if I asked you to come with me? Stop being silly, Mags, and let’s get on the road.” he shook his head, laughing.

  After I got into his SUV and was buckled in and ready to go, I realized I had left my wallet in my bedroom, “Shit.” I said out loud.

  “What?” Liam asked as he turned on the engine.

  “I left my wallet on my dresser. Wait one second, let me grab it.” I said.

  “No, just stay put. I’m quicker, I’ll run up and get it.” he insisted.

  “Okay. Don’t forget it’s on the dresser.”

  After a final check to make sure we brought everything we needed, it took two and half hours to get there and during the entire ride there, not much was said. I really didn’t feel like talking and Liam didn’t push me into a conversation either.

  If we did talk or if asked me a question he only did it when it was important, otherwise he knew he had to back off today. When the both of us arrived, there must have been thirty people already there and most of them I did not recognize except a couple of girls I kind of new from high school.

  “Liam!” one of the guys approached us as we were unloading Liam’s trunk.

  “Ay, Jones, how’s it going brother?” Liam greeted him as he approached.

  “Great as always, you know that.”

  “I do, don’t I?” he laughed. “I want to introduce you to my best friend in the entire world, Margaret.”

  “Ah, the elusive Margaret Kellerman…I’m glad I finally got to meet you. I was starting to think that you didn’t exist.”

  “Thank you.” I blushed and then turned to Liam. “Wait, how much do you talk about me.”

  Jones cut him off from answering, “All the time.”

  “Shut up, I do not.” Liam playfully shoved Jones. “He’s lying off his arse.”

  “All the time.” Jones mouthed the words to me with raised eyebrows which made me laugh.

  “I saw that.” Liam fumed.

  “Sorry, dude, you know better than to tell me things you don’t want cute girls to know.” he winked at me causing me to blush.

  This guy was smooth.

  “Anyway, welcome guys. Just find a spot, grab some food, drink and enjoy the music.” Jones said as he walked with us to the bonfire pit.

  “How do you know Jones?” I said.

  “Oh, he owns one of the pubs I played at last summer and been pals ever since.”

  “That’s nice.” I smiled.

  “Yeah, he’s a good guy. I knew you’d like him.”

  Liam and I spent the next hour mingling with people he knew and I was getting to know more about the life Liam had lived the past few years and although it was interesting, it didn’t help lighten the mood.

  It was doing quite the opposite but I wasn’t about to tell him that. He was having a great time and it was nice to see him smile and laughing and I didn’t want to ruin this for him. I was going to stick it out for him.

  “Having a good time?” Jones asked as he plopped down into Liam’s beach chair next to me.

  “Yeah, it’s been fun. I’ve been inside for the most part since I’ve been in town.” I smiled.

  “I get it, it’s good to get out once in a while if you’ve been cramped up for a long time.” Jones agreed.

  “Liam tells me that you own a bar in town?”

  “Yeah, I named it after my family name, McGinty’s. I opened it up last year. I’ve never owned a business before let alone a bar so it’s been a real experience.”

  “How are you doing with it?” I asked.

  “Surprisingly well, which I would have never expected with the minimal experience I had but my uncle, fortunately, has been there whenever I needed him. He owned a successful bar in Ireland for forty years before he came to live with my parents when he decided to retire. I don’t think I would have done well if he hadn’t been there guiding me. I’ve learned a lot during my first year.”

  “Well, I’m glad everything has worked out for you.”

  “Thank you, I’m very lucky to be where I’m at.”

  “You’re welcome.” I smiled. I glanced up to find Liam glancing my way before he smiled and waved.

  “You know, I’ve never seen Liam happier than he is right now, other than the times where you’re a topic of conversation.”

  “I’m starting to be concerned about me being the topic of most of Liam’s conversations.” I laughed.

  “It’s nothing bad, but your name does get brought up indirectly often enough to be a pattern but he does seem happier than I’ve ever seen him.”

  “Now I’m interested to know what he’s said about me
.”

  “I know that you two have been best friends since high school and I think he’s told me about all of the pranks you played on the football players and some of the things you both like. I think that’s it.”

  “Is that it?” I asked suspiciously.

  “I’m pretty sure.” Jones laughed.

  “I don’t know…sounds suspicious to me.”

  “Hey, I swear,” he said holding his hands up.

  “Alright, I believe you.” I laughed.

  “I’m going to get back to mingling, otherwise I wouldn’t be a good host. Thank you again for coming and for being a great friend to Liam. He’s a good guy, he deserves it.”

  “You too,” I said before Jones took off to chat with the other party attendees.

  A few minutes later, Liam came over and sat down next to me, happy as a clam. We sat in silence as we both watched some idiot put lighter fluid into the pit to increase the size of it. I didn’t want to see it explode on him and I don’t think Liam did either when he suddenly asked me if I wanted to take off.

  “Hey, do you want to go grab a pint?”

  “What?”

  “Do you want to go grab a pint?” he asked again.

  “What do you mean? Do want to leave?”

  “Sure.” he shrugged. “I could use a breather and I’m sure you could too.”

  “If you don’t think it’ll upset Jones or anything like that.”

  “It wouldn’t. I already told him I was taking off early anyway.” Liam admitted.

  “Okay, let’s go,” I said.

  After we got up, packed our things up and said our goodbyes we made the long drive back into town and then to McGinty’s to have a drink. Although Liam ordered his usual which was a pint of beer, I needed something stronger than what beer could have ever provided. I ended up ordering a few shots of tequila even though Liam tried to stop me.

  I knew he hated tequila and I ordered a few shots so he wouldn’t have tried to control the situation by drinking some of it to stop me from getting wasted. He hated it when people were drunk, especially me. The last time I got drunk was when I had raided my parents stash senior year and got drunk in my room even though I was underage.