Sufficient Grace

by Jessica Greyson

  Chapter 37

  The stage coach took longer than anyone wished, but at last a train made their trip much speedier, and they arrived at Ryan’s fort, a bustling city on the edge of the frontier.

  Getting off the train at the station, Grace was shocked to see a familiar face coming towards them with a smile.

  “Ryan!” crooned Crystal with a smile. “I was hoping that I would see you today. I have been waiting here most of the afternoon in the hope of seeing you…”

  Ryan’s shoulders stiffened. “Hello, Miss Crystal.” He said kindly but not warmly.

  “Oh, Ryan I thought we were over the miss a long time ago,” she said with a bat of her eyelashes, looking up at him.

  “Allow me to introduce my family. My father and mother, Mr. and Mrs. Elroy and my sister Grace.”

  “Grace?” asked Crystal, turning pale. “You have a brother?”

  “You two know each other?” asked Ryan, puzzled.

  “Oui I most certainly have a brother,” said Grace in perfect French.

  Crystal dropped another shade of pink from her cheeks.

  “I had no idea…I—I.”

  Grace looked up at her brother with a smile. “Crystal and I went to finishing school together.” Then she turned to Crystal and continued to speak French. “It is so good to see you again. I thought you lived further west?”

  “My father moved. We live here now,” said Crystal her fine airs gone and shock reverberating through her entire being.

  “I hope we may see more of each other in the near future then,” continued Grace.

  “Where did you learn to speak French?” asked Crystal her shock overcoming her sense of dignity.

  “I have been speaking French since I was eight years old. I was tutored at the same place you were, have you forgotten already?” Grace let her eyes sparkle with a thousand meanings.

  “You know French?” Crystal asked again, still baffled.

  “Oui, Crystal I always have,” said Grace dropping the almost playful tone.

  “Well, that is lovely. I need to go, please excuse me.”

  “Have a good day, Crystal.”

  The girl hurried away not bothering with a response.

  In a minute a man in a cavalry uniform pulled up in a wagon. “Good thing the train was a little late I just got everything set up like you asked,” he said, jumping from the seat. Together the two loaded the trunks into the bed of the wagon. Mr. and Mrs. Elroy sat up in the front with Ryan’s friend while Grace and Ryan sat in the back sitting on the trunks.

  As they got under way, Ryan leaned towards Grace. “So you went to school with her?”

  Grace nodded demurely.

  “I am glad you didn’t fit in. If you had come home like that,” Ryan shook his head. “I don’t know what I would do.”

  “I could never be one of them.”

  “She has been after me for the last month.”

  “I doubt she will continue.”

  “I don’t like girls that have fluff in their heads.”

  They rode the rest of the way in silence. In a little while, the wagon pulled up in front of a small house.

  “This is home sweet home,” called Ryan springing over the edge of the wagon to assist his parents down from their seats. Mr. Elroy insisted he didn’t need any help but received it anyway. Grace sat comfortably on the trunk watching them go inside too tired to get out by herself.

  In a few minutes, Ryan’s friend was back outside. “May I offer some assistance to you, my lady?”

  Grace had a hard time not bursting out into laughter. Who would think to call me ‘my lady’? He probably doesn’t know I catch snakes. But she hesitated before answering, not really knowing what to say.

  “I don’t think we have been properly introduced,” he said with a smile. “I am John Heath.”

  “And I am Grace…” she had to think twice before giving her last name. “Elroy.”

  “Well, Miss Grace, may I assist you?”

  “Please sir,” she said, offering him her hand. He guided it to his shoulder, put his hand around her waist and lifted her from the wagon.

  Grace found herself blushing and pulling away, but he was offering her his arm. Grace pretended not to see it and made her way towards the house. In a moment he was beside her. Just then Ryan appeared and taking her arm, he pulled her into the house.

  “I’ll be out there in a minute John.”

  “Ryan.”

  “Yes, Grace.”

  “You are going to have to do something about him.”

  “I know. Now go make yourself scarce while I help John unload the trunks.”

  Grace needed no second bidding but quickly disappeared. A short while later Ryan called her into the kitchen, and she came.

  “Sorry about that. With a whole cavalry regiment stationed here, unattached girls are exceedingly rare and in high demand.”

  “Won’t that be fun?” Grace said with sarcasm. She had a sudden longing for Esperanza Springs and Mitch. Her heart still ached over their goodbye. She put her hand into her pocket, his star. There was still that longing to run headlong into his arms…even though the thought of actually doing it made her blush.

  “I will help you as much as I can when it comes to things like that, but there is only so much I can do.”

  “I know. Some will be headstrong, and dash headlong after me even if you tell them not to,” sighed Grace.

  “Unfortunately,” Ryan agreed.

  Chapter 38

  The first few week and a half passed quickly as Ryan and Grace tried to make sure everything was settled to both of their parents satisfaction. There were a few rough days as everyone was trying to get used to one another but overall there were a harmony and sweet peace that was created that none had experienced for many a year.

  It was in that second week that Grace received her first letter from Esperanza Springs. Ryan came home with a pile of parcels, and while he and grace were putting them away in the kitchen, he pulled out the mail.

  “There was a letter for you, Grace. Came from Esperanza Springs too.”

  “Me?” she asked her face turning a pretty shade of pink.

  After what seemed like an eternity he pulled it out of the small pile. “Here you go.”

  Grace took it in her hands with a half tremble of excitement. It wasn’t addressed in Milly’s curly hand but Mitch’s strong, bold stroke. She stood staring at it for a moment, undecided whether to rip it open and read it now or save it for later.

  “Go ahead and read it; I can finish up here.”

  “Thank you,” said Grace, making a fast exit.

  “Wait, one moment.”

  “Thought you might need these,” he handed her a small package with a pen, paper, and ink. Then digging deeper, he pulled up a bottle of rose scent. “I wasn’t sure if you would want to scent your paper or not…”

  “Goodness no, but I will need these.” and she clutched the paper, pen and ink to herself with a smile. “Thank you, Ryan.”

  “Now dash off, and read that letter.” He said with a smile.

  Once in her room Grace closed the door and looked around. Where is the best place to read my letter? At my desk? Near the window? For goodness sake, it is only a letter! I can read it anywhere. Grace walked to the window and sat on the floor.

  She held the letter close and whispered. “Hello, Mitch.” It was as close as she was going to be to him until spring. That seemed like an eternity away. It was only late October. How was she to survive until then? But these thoughts were only delaying her delight. Gently she broke the seal.

  Dear Grace,

  Late tonight Milly and I arrived back in Esperanza Springs. It seems so strange to think that less than two weeks ago you were here and there was so much turmoil. The town is quiet, peacefully so. You have often been in my thoughts and prayers. I can’t help but hope, pray, and wonder if all is going well for you and your family.

  I hope your journey was smooth and that you are fi
nding your new home to your liking and are comfortably settled into your new surroundings.

  You are missed, Grace. I’ll be looking for you in the spring.

  Your Friend.

  Mitch.

  Grace closed the letter. It spoke of so many things unsaid that wanted saying. The last line you are missed. Grace knew what he was trying to say…she missed him too. Opening up the package of paper, pen, and ink. Grace sat down to write to Mitch but looking at the blank sheet of paper she suddenly didn’t know what to say and so tucked his letter in her pocket next to his badge and went downstairs.

  “That didn’t take you too long,” said Ryan with a sideways glance at his sister in full meditation.

  “It was a short letter.”

  “Have you replied?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Well, I missed a letter when I was sorting through the mail. There is one from Mildred.”

  “Really?”

  “It is at your place.”

  Grace picked up the pink scented epistle that would have shouted Milly from a mile away and opened it. She noticed it was postmarked two days after Mitch’s and wondered what news might have occurred since Mitch’s note.

  The letter was full and rollicking, with tidbits of gossip and tales of woe of how school was going…the new teacher wasn’t getting there fast enough. And a question as to why Mitch had sent a letter addressed to her—were there any new tidbits of information that she, as her best friend in the world should know?

  “Anything interesting?” asked Ryan.

  “She hates school.” said Grace with a laugh, trying to throw the implication that Milly had laid out of her head.

  “So you don’t mind reading her letter down here but his you have to read in your room.”

  “Don’t be silly, I had to put the pens and paper away.”

  “Likely story.”

  “Ryan!”

  He gave sent her a sideways look. Grace turned her back on him. “I am going to put this in my room.”

  “Make sure you come back!” he shouted after her.

  Once in her room Grace tucked Milly’s letter in the drawer and pulling Mitch’s from her pocket read through it one more time. Suddenly the blank sheet of paper didn’t seem so daunting, and she sat down.

  Dear Mitch,

  We are settled in at last. I already miss you and Esperanza Springs, it’s quiet charms and all of the people there. It feels so strange to be a family again, yet so sweet. I am trying to make new friends with the girls around here they all seem very nice, well, all except for Crystal DeMaze. You remember her, don’t you? She spoke French to me a few days ago and when I replied likewise she was very shocked/ I told her the truth, and I think she might be angry with me. Can’t say I blame her. I would like to try and be friends, but I doubt that will happen now.

  That is one thing that you have taught me. How to be a friend. I still don’t understand how you could push through all of my stupid, stubborn walls. I really wanted your help, but I didn’t dare tell you so. It hurt so much. But your friendship changed all of that.

  Life changes suddenly, doesn’t it? It seems like it is going to fall apart when it really falls into place. Mitch. You will never know how deeply and profoundly I am grateful for you. What you have taught me and what you did for me goes beyond my imagination. I can never be grateful enough for what you taught me, for the hours you must have let me cry on your shoulder. You have been an incredible blessing to my family but mostly to me. You saved my life.

  Thank you, Mitch.

  I am looking forward to being in Esperanza Springs in the spring.

  Your Friend

  Grace

  In a moment she had sealed it, and Ryan’s voice came from below. “Grace! Grace?”

  “Coming!”

  A reply to Milly’s would have to wait for later.

  It was the next morning that Grace laid two letters pensively in her brother’s hand to be mailed. The top one was addressed to Milly—a newsletter filled with descriptions and telling that if she ever came for a visit, there would be no lack for partners to dance with.

  Ryan took them without saying a word but for over a week Grace waited with a great deal of pensiveness whenever Ryan brought in the mail. At last, it came, a letter from Mitch. Grace took it and retreated to her room; by the weight of it, she knew he had written more than in his last letter, which she had memorized the weight of it in her hand.

  Dear Grace,

  I meant to tell you so many times how I was able to break through your walls but I could never bring myself to say to you. Sometimes words come easier on paper, so I am going to try and tell you here.

  I was once you. I hated everyone and everything. I carried a wall around my heart, waiting for someone to show they loved me enough to climb it. I waited and waited…a few people tried, but it wasn’t enough; if they scaled that one, I would put up another one. I pushed countless amounts of people away because I was afraid of being hurt, of loving and trust people again.

  My family had been ruthlessly murdered by a band of outlaws when we left our wagon train. I had been left for dead, but as God directed my life, I was rescued and healed in body though not in mind. I was fifteen at the time it happened. When I turned sixteen, I became a deputy. I was determined to wipe all evil mankind from the planet. I was fearless and bold for only one reason. I wanted to die. In truth, I didn’t, but inside I was aching for the opportunity that had been denied me, the guilt that haunted my every waking moment and every dream. No matter what I did, I couldn’t die. No matter how many gun battles I fought, the bullets always seemed to miss me. I should have gotten a clue then that God wanted me, but I was too busy shutting Him out.

  One day I decided it was time to die. I had had enough of living. I knew when the stagecoach would come rumbling into town and I knew I could make it look like an accident. Make a dash across the street, drop something midway, stoop to pick it up and I would be a goner under the horses’ hooves. The thing was, as I was stooping in the road I realized I didn’t want to die. I wanted to grow old, but I didn’t know how, and now it was too late. I am not sure just how but at that moment a man by the name of Jeb Carter pushed me partially out of the way.

  The accident ended up being pretty bad for both of us. He broke a leg and I my ankle along with many other scrapes and bruises. We shared the same room while we were healing. I was angry at him. I tried not to show it. But he knew anyway. He pushed my walls over, he smashed them, he climbed them. I couldn’t push him away no matter how I tried and I couldn’t walk away either. I was stuck there listening to him. Listening to him pour out the truth over and over again. He broke me down until I couldn’t push anymore. That is when my walls went down, and I finally accepted it, Grace. God had a purpose for my life even though what had happened to me seemed cruel and unnecessary to me. Because of it, God gave me a heart that allows me to make things right and let justice be done.

  Grace, when I met you, and you first looked into my eyes, I saw myself only a few years earlier. I saw such a wounded and broken girl who looked too strong who tried too hard on the outside. I also admired you. The strength and courage you displayed won my admiration for you. I knew it would take a while, but I prayed that you would stay in Esperanza Springs and when I found out that your father was to be the new sheriff I almost danced a jig for joy. Pushing past the walls you surrounded yourself in wasn’t easy. I couldn’t have done it alone, but God gave me the grace and love to help you through it. You have been a blessing to my life and one more reason to know why I lived.

  The people of Esperanza Springs miss you, and I can’t wait for winter for, and then spring will be just around the corner, and I can see you again.

  God’s Blessings on You, My Friend,

  Mitch

  Grace wiped tears from her eyes and read it over and over again; things he had said sinking deeper into her heart. Life had a new and more beautiful meaning. Oh God, he relived it all to help me. He knew what I
felt, and I pushed him away, and he knew, he knows! Spring was a lifetime away.

  Chapter 39

  Dear Mitch,

  Your letter to me—how can I tell you what it meant, what it means to me, what it will always mean to me? How sorry I am for the pain that I know I caused you. How grateful I am that you never stopped trying to reach me. So grateful that you lived. Lived to help me in ways no other human ever could. I have always wondered why you had the words that spoke to my heart. You knew what I was thinking before I knew it myself. How you knew when to push me and let me make a fool of myself because I wanted to. And now that I know; it means so much more to me. Thank you, Mitch. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  It feels almost wrong to write anything else in this letter but my gratitude…but I should tell you what else is going on.

  Today I am smiling because the first snowflakes fell. The first signs of winter have come and with winter comes the special holidays. I am hoping that these holidays will bring what living under the same roof hasn’t quite succeeded in creating. Harmony. Christmas used to be a big to-do with our family and maybe since we are all together once more, I am hoping that we can be a real family again.

  Father has recovered. Or at least he says he has and is dying to be doing something, but the doctor continues to forbid too much activity for him yet. Mother continues to progress in health when father isn’t too upsetting for her, and she seems to like it here with all the hustle and bustle of the fort’s comings and goings. Several women have befriended her, and she has taken kindly to taking calls and the doctor says soon she may return them. It will be good to see her out and about like when I was a little girl.

  Yesterday I met Crystal and she speaks to me uncomfortably but no longer insults me, in public or private. Though I have given up believing, we can ever be friends since we have no common ground other than school to build on, and none of those are good memories.