One True Mate 8: Night of the Beast

by Lisa Ladew

  But Leilani was here. Leilani had said his name.

  He wanted that miracle. Wanted to hear her explanation. Maybe she could somehow convince him that she didn’t want Harlan. Maybe… His mind played over the possibilities as the beast picked up speed, heading down the path to the main house.

  But each possibility always ended the same way. Even if he could get past the fact that his mate had kissed his friend, he’d never get past the fact that his friend had kissed his mate. Harlan was still a member of the KSRT, still had a job and a purpose and a community standing that made sense. Jaggar had nothing but his animal he couldn’t talk to, couldn’t communicate with, and his disgraced status as a suspended KSRT member, soon to be fired, then jailed. He was a criminal now, and that was not fixable.

  Mentally, Jaggar wrestled with the beast again. We can’t offer her anything. We’re leaving and we’re never coming back.

  But ahead of him, silver light flashed and he saw her.

  Leilani.

  She was dressed in simple black leggings that only reached down to her calf and a plain pink t-shirt, with no shoes. Her dark hair flowed out behind her, making her look like an island princess, sweet and beautiful. She stood on the grass behind the main house, her head swinging from side to side as if she was trying to decide which way to go.

  Silver light flooded out of her eyes, bathing her face, making her look impossibly young and fragile in the dusk of the evening.

  People streamed out of the house, some coming from the patio door, some from the window to Trent’s room, big males hopping out and running for his mate.

  “Grab her,” a male yelled.

  The beast snarled and ran for them. The first to lay a finger on her would die a painful death.

  The beast stopped dead in his tracks.

  Eventine. She was knocking heads, getting between males and Leilani. “Don’t touch her!”

  It couldn’t be.

  But it was.

  Alive, exactly the way he remembered her.

  Eventine. The beast faltered. Jaggar reeled. Eventine was dead. He’d finally cracked-up, the ever-present pain had finally broken him.

  Jaggar, wait, a voice said. Nowl leapt over him on the edge of the forest path, getting in between him and his mate. The beast swiped at Nowl with one misshapen paw, claws extended, but Nowl was quick.

  Nowl turned, nipped at him, then twisted and got in his way again. The beast ran him right over, slashing and biting as he passed. Words came at Jaggar but he wasn’t able to interpret them in his dismay and confusion.

  Eventine.

  Jaggar’s heart stuttered as he grappled with what he was seeing.

  A patrol officer came in fast from the left, sprinting out of the forest, taking a chance and getting a hand on Leilani’s elbow. The night flashed silver.

  Jaggar’s confusion was forgotten as the beast snarled and launched himself for the patrol officer and Jaggar lent his strength to the attempt.

  But Leilani was gone.

  ***

  The beast ran through the spot where Leilani had been, scattering males left and right. He caught her scent, a sweet butter-frosting scent that made him want to close his eyes and savor it. Instead, he headed into the woods on the other side of the yard.

  She was there, just inside the first path, looking like a wood nymph or a forest dryad, so lovely, but fragile.

  “Jaggar,” she said again, her voice soft, her arms out, like she was looking for him. Silver light spilled from her eyes and he realized all at once that she couldn’t see.

  Blind.

  Blind. His mate had been hurt, and if he could, he would go back in time and kill that male again and suffer this same fate again, if it gave her some small measure of peace to know that male was gone, Jaggar and the beast would both do it again.

  I’m here, he tried to tell her. Had she turned toward him?

  Nowl was behind him, on his tail. The beast dug his claws into the dirt of the path and skidded to a stop, twisting his big body around to face Nowl.

  The beast spoke in ruhi, a grating, halting voice that made Jaggar sick to his stomach and made Nowl wince, his ears twitching. No one touches her.

  We want to help, Nowl said, as Eventine and the others ran up the trail behind Nowl.

  The beast lowered his head. No one touches her. Especially you.

  Eventine made her way past Nowl holding her hands up to him. “Leilani, can you hear me?”

  Leilani spoke from behind the beast, her voice soft and dreamy. “Eventine?”

  The beast shook his head and made a breaking-glass noise.

  “It’s a long story. Jaggar, are you in there? Do you have any control?”

  Jaggar couldn’t begin to try to answer that question. He was still reeling. The beast answered, though. He snarled and nodded his head “yes”.

  Eventine breathed easier, then looked over the beast’s head. “Leilani, what do you want? It’s up to you.”

  “Jaggar,” Leilani whispered, and Jaggar’s heart split open just a little bit.

  “Got it. We will leave you alone, but we are all here for you, both of you,” Eventine said. “Jaggar, we need to talk. Cabin number six is empty and has clothes that will fit you. Call me when you’re ready.”

  Eventine backed down the trail, pushing people behind her. They disappeared around a bend in the path. Jaggar had no doubt they were watching. That’s what he would do, because the beast couldn’t be trusted. But they’d left him so close to Leilani. They shouldn’t have. He wasn’t safe. He was an abomination.

  He sensed Leilani coming near him on the trail. The beast shivered as the wind ruffled just the tips of his fur, and then her hand was on his back, almost too light to feel.

  But she was touching him.

  The beast had never been touched. He liked it so much. Jaggar closed his eyes against the flood of feelings that washed over him at his mate’s touch on his animal.

  Mine! rolled through the beast’s head and he pulled away from Leilani, roaring like a lion, or maybe a freaking dinosaur. Jaggar had never heard a noise quite like that. Jaggar held his breath and wished it had been him that she had touched first. Knock it off, beast, you’re going to scare her.

  The silver light flooded the path as she breathed his name again, hands held out in front of her, groping blindly.

  Shit! She couldn’t see and the beast had left her.

  Get back to Leilani, now.

  He didn’t know if the beast had heard or not, but it had the same idea. It turned to Leilani on the trail and faced her, his face almost in line with hers. The beast was big. Leilani was not.

  She waited, her eyes open wide, her expression lost, her hands reaching out blindly.

  The beast walked right up close to her and made a noise. Not a growl. Not a snarl. Not a purr. A rough engine on a stuttering idle, but Jaggar got the idea it was the gentlest sound he could make. The silver from Leilani’s eyes hurt the beast’s eyes, spreading pain through his head and down his neck into his body. Jaggar felt it, but only superficially, like it wasn’t happening to him. The beast didn’t pull back, didn’t react at all. He bore the pain.

  Take me to church, Jaggar whispered, his mind laser-focused in a moment, the pain falling away from the beast slightly. Be good to her, he told the beast as he repeated his mantra in the back of his mind, trying to lock away the beast’s pain. Be gentle and soft. Don’t scare her, please don’t scare her.

  The beast made that non-purr again. Assent?

  Leilani’s expression softened slightly. “Oh,” she said, and her hands moved in to either side of the beast’s head.

  “Can I touch you?” she said softly, already doing so.

  Yes, Jaggar thought at her wildly. Of course you can. We belong to you. Touch me. Yes, yes.

  “Oh,” she said, when her fingers found fur. “Jaggar,” she breathed. “Hi.” Was she blushing?

  Hi, he thought back, projecting his voice out as hard as he could but he saw no si
gn that she heard.

  Jaggar lost his mantra as she touched his animal softly. His thoughts went fluid, liquid, as he and the beast both responded to her touch. It was good, so good, pleasure from her touch almost crowding out the pain of their being. Jaggar wanted so much more, he wanted a lifetime of his mate’s skin against his.

  She moved her fingers over his head, feeling it, feeling every disgusting lump and bump, but her lips curled in a bit of a smile. Her right hand found an ear and traced it, making the beast shiver.

  She moved her hands along its face ever so softly. The beast held so still. “Oh,” she said again, her face pointed at him, that silver light spilling out at him. It turned her from beautiful into something too awesome to look at for long. But he wouldn’t tear the beast’s eyes away even if he could.

  She ran her hands over both ears, then down his neck, tracing his muscles under his fur. “You’re so strong,” she said. She brought her fingers back up to his face, caressing his lips and chin, then touching one errant tooth. Abomination, he thought. But she didn’t seem to mind the way his teeth stuck out at odd angles.

  The beast made that sound like a running engine being smashed to the pavement. Leilani half-smiled. The beast made another noise and Leilani’s smile widened, a true smile that touched her sightless but stunning eyes. Dusk turned to dark slowly around them as she felt carefully with her bare feet on the trail, walking around him, touching his long body, all the way down to his misshapen tail. Jaggar could feel that it was nothing like a fanned out wolf tail, and also nothing like a sleek catamount tail and he hated it. Ugly. Abomination. Should not have been allowed to live. Never should have been allowed to shift.

  The words he’d heard all of his life filtered through his consciousness. He ignored them, grasping for his mantra again.

  Leilani crossed behind the beast. The beast trembled at her nearness. She knelt, taking her hand down one of his legs. He retracted his claws quickly. Her fingers found his foot and the pads, touching the very tip of one claw.

  The look of wonder and acceptance on her face changed to fear and Jaggar knew she was remembering what he had done to Harlan and he knew there was nothing he could do to take that memory away from her. He felt sick, not knowing what to do, how to get the moment back, the good moment where she touched him and accepted him.

  The beast knew what to do. It dropped to its belly, rolling over on its back, making that thick, sick-engine noise again so she would know where he was. Jaggar rolled with the beast, not daring to hope…

  Leilani reached her hand out and found one paw. She ran her fingers over the paw again, staying clear of the tips of his claws.

  “I want to know you,” she said.

  Her eyes flashed silver, filling the woods with their light. Jaggar’s head felt like it was splitting open in unimaginable pain, worse than any he’d felt before.

  They traveled.

  15 – Birth of a Beast

  Jaggar felt a distinct moving of his being happen, like maybe the forest was part of a giant’s diorama, and the giant had picked up the diorama and moved it from one place to another with Leilani and Jaggar trapped inside. The move was accompanied by a violent jerking in his head, one that seemed to spin his eyes in their sockets. Thick pain rushed at him, covering him, but he had no time to go for his mantra, so he bore it.

  He was on his back when the moving happened, feeling halfway safe in his forest with his fellow officers around him. Safe enough that the beast had dropped to its belly and rolled, completely vulnerable.

  That was a position he could not afford to be in any longer. They could be headed anywhere, at any time. Leilani had time-traveled. She could be taking them straight into a battle with Khain.

  The thoughts passed through Jaggar’s head in the span of a fraction of a second, and when the moving of his being stopped, the beast had already twisted and jumped to its feet, head down, ears tracking in all directions, teeth and claws ready.

  A new world swam into focus around them, clarifying through the fading silver light. Leilani also stood, and then she did one thing that made Jaggar hand his heart over to her, no more questions asked. She threw her arms around the beast’s neck.

  Jaggar’s stomach rolled, and he relaxed slightly. This was no battle with Khain. In front of them was the house he’d been born in. The house he’d lived in for the first five years of his life.

  A long moaning cry from the house startled him and Leilani both. She jumped and squeezed the beast’s neck, her poor eyes open and sightless. They were standing in the driveway, her still in bare feet, him still trapped in the beast.

  I’m here, he thought at her, wishing-no, begging for communication with her. He wanted to talk to his mate. He wanted to soothe her. He wanted to introduce himself to her. He did not want her to get to know him like this, not here, not with these felen who had never liked him.

  The beast agreed. He moved in close to Leilani and nudged her with his body. Jaggar tried to communicate what he hoped the beast was intending. This way, this way, come away.

  But the lurching moan that ended in a scream came again, low and far away. Somewhere in that house someone was in pain.

  “Oh,” Leilani said, stepping around the beast and heading for the house, her hands out so she wouldn’t run into anything. “Someone’s hurt.”

  No, Leilani, please. Take us back to the forest, back to Eventine. I need to talk to Eventine. But he knew what had happened, didn’t he? Somehow, Leilani had brought Eventine back to life. How that was even possible, Jaggar didn’t know.

  The beast loped after Leilani, trying to push his big ugly head in between her and the house, dragging Jaggar along for the ride. She wrapped her arms around its neck and whispered to it. “Yes, Jaggar, thank you. Help me, I need help.”

  Jaggar’s heart stumbled inside his chest. Leilani, can you hear me? he said one more time, clearly, but she did not act like she had heard. The beast could not refuse her plea for help. He let her cling to his neck and helped her to the door of the house, standing in front of her, not letting her step any closer when her fingertips could almost brush the siding.

  “What’s going on in there?” Leilani asked, sounding innocent and lost, and then that moving feeling came again, and the immense pain came with it, more pain than he normally bore, but only for a moment.

  The beast’s feet were no longer on concrete. They were on carpet. Sunshine had been replaced by a dim interior light bulb. They were inside.

  Jaggar’s alert heightened and he peered around. What kind of danger could they be in? The beast crouched slightly, ready to warn off anyone who came too close, ready to attack anyone who looked at Leilani wrong.

  But no one seemed to see them. The room was a bustle of energy, one female in a birthing pool while a cadre of females bustled around her. Kalista was the only one he recognized.

  Except for his mother.

  He barely remembered his mother. She was a felen, a big cat, and she’d been sixteen when he was born. She looked every inch of her tender age, almost cowering in the birthing pool, hugging herself, her face scared and full of pain. Her name was Journey. That was how he normally thought of her. Journey.

  His breath clogged in his throat as he studied her, forgetting for just a moment where he was and how impossible it was that he was seeing what he was seeing.

  She was slim, with thick hair cut at her shoulders, dressed in a loose, wet, sports bra, her face a mask of pain, her lower half in the water. “Something’s wrong,” she cried.

  An older female he didn’t recognize spoke sharply to her. “Of course something’s wrong! How could you possibly have thought this would end well?”

  The beast growled at the words. No one acted like they heard. Jaggar tried to turn his head, remembering the “door” he’d seen behind Leilani when she’d traveled through time to Kendra’s birth. The beast did not let him turn to see.

  Jaggar tried to argue. He knew what would happen after he was born, and he did n
ot want to be there for it. He didn’t want Leilani seeing any of this.

  Kalista spoke just as sharply to the older female. “Don’t you think you’ve harassed her enough? Leave her alone already, it’s too late. The baby will be here soon and he should be born in a happy home.”

  The older woman tsked her tongue. Someone rubbed Journey’s shoulders. Leilani held tight to the beast and whispered into its ear. “What’s going on? Where are we?”

  Jaggar focused his thoughts, but before he could try to talk to her, the beast’s voice came, that harsh, grating, stuttering internal voice that was two beings talking in a non-harmony. My birth.

  Leilani seemed to hear him. Jaggar tried not to be jealous of his own animal.

  “Oh,” Leilani said, and her hand tightened on his ear like a handle. She clung to him. Jaggar’s attention was divided. He wanted to give it all to Leilani… but his mother. She was right there, so close. He missed her. He hadn’t seen her since he was five years old. She cried out in pain, her body writhing over her big belly.

  From outside, a car door slammed. “That’s the Citlali,” Kalista said, telling a young female to get the door.

  The beast growled and Jaggar growled with him. He’d heard this story before, and had a special kind of hate in his heart for this Citlali.

  He headed for the door, pulling out of Leilani’s grasp, not noticing in his anger how she gasped a little and reached for him. “Jaggar,” she whispered.

  The beast stopped mid-stride and Jaggar could feel the emotions warring within him. The beast had no practice denying his impulses. Leilani, stay with Leilani, he said, even though he knew the beast did not hear him.

  From another room, a door opened and closed and a rough male voice said, “I can’t believe this is happening.”

  The male pushed his way in the room, spouting harsh questions at everyone. “Who is in charge here? Why wasn’t this pregnancy terminated?”