Spellsinger 03 - The Day of the Dissonance
Page 34
were trembling visibly and he clutched the bottle so hard
his fingers whitened.
"It's got him!" Folly stumbled back toward the bushes.
"Something's got him!"
"Roseroar!" Mudge shouted. "Get 'im down! I'll find
some vines to tie 'im with!" He rushed toward the trees.
"No," Jon-Tom growled tightly. "No." His face fell as
he stared at the bottle. Then he drew back his hand and
made as if to fling the plastic container and its priceless
contents into the deep woods. At the last instant he
stopped himself. Now he was smiling malevolently at the
tablet in his hand.
"No. We're going to take it back. Take it back so that
Clothahump can see it. Can see what we crossed half a
world and nearly died a dozen times to bring him." He
290
Alan Dean Foster
THE DAY OF THE DISSONANCE
291
stared at his uneasy companions. "This is the medicine.
This will cure him. I'm sure it will. Then, when the pain
has left his body and he is whole and healthy again, I'll
strangle him with my bare hands!"
"Ah don't understand yo, Jon-Tom. What's wrong if
that's the right medicine?"
"What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong." He shook
the bottle at her. "It's acetylsalicylic acid, that's what's
wrong!" Suddenly the anger went out of him, and he sat
back down heavily on a fallen tree. "Why didn't I think
that might be it? Why?"
Mudge fought to pronounce the peculiar, otherworldly
word, failed miserably. "You mean you know wot the
bloody stuff is?"
"Know it?" Jon-Tom lifted tired eyes to the otter. "You
remember when I arrived in this world, Mudge?"
"Now, that would be a 'ard day to forget, mate. I nearly
spilled your guts all over a field o' flowers."
"Do you remember what I was wearing?"
Mudge's face screwed up in remembrance. "That funny
tight shirt and them odd pants."
"Jeans, Mudge, jeans. I had a few things with me when
Clothahump accidently brought me over. My watch, which
doesn't work anymore because the batteries are dead."
"Spell's worn out, you mean."
"Let's don't get into that now, okay? My watch, a
lighter, a few keys in a small metal box, and another small
box about this big." He traced an outline in the air in front
of him.
"The second box held a few little items I always carried
with me for unexpected emergencies. Some Pepto-Bismol
tablets for an upset stomach, a couple of Band-Aids, a few
blue tablets whose purpose we won't discuss in mixed
company, and some white tablets. Do you remember the
white tablets, Mudge?"
The otter shook his head. "I wouldn't 'ave a looksee
through your personal things, mate." Besides, he'd been
interrupted before he could get the two boxes opened.
"Those tablets were just like these, Mudge. Just like
these." He stared dumbly at the bottle he held. "Acetylsali-
cylic acid. Aspirin, plain old ordinary everyday aspirin."
"Ah guess it ain't so ordinary hereabouts," said Roseroar.
"Now, mate," said Mudge soothingly, " 'is wizardship
couldn't 'ave known you 'ad some in your back pocket all
along, now could 'e? It were a sad mistake, but an 'onest
one."
"You think so? Clothahump knows everything.'1
"Then why send us across 'alf the world to find somethin'
'e already 'ad in 'is 'ouse?"
"To test me. To test my loyalty. He's grooming me to
take his place someday if he can't send me home, and he
has to make sure I'm up to the reputation he's going to
leave behind. So he keeps testing me."
"Are you tellin' me, mate," muttered Mudge carefully,
"that this 'ole damn dangerous trip was unnecessary from
the beginnin'? That this 'ere glorious quest could've been
left undone and we could've stayed comfy an' warm back
in the Bellwoods, doin' civilized work like gettin' laid an'
drunk?"
Jon-Tom nodded sadly. "I'm afraid so."
Mudge's reaction was not what Jon-Tom expected. He
anticipated a replay of his own sudden fury, at least.
Instead, the otter clasped his hands to his belly, bent over,
and fell to the ground, where he commenced to roll wildly
about while laughing uncontrollably. A moment later Drom's
own amused, high-pitched whinny filled the woods, while
Roseroar was unable to restrain her own more dignified but
just as heartfelt hysteria.
"What are you laughing about? You idiots, we nearly
got killed half a dozen times on this journey! So what are
you laughing about?" For some reason this only made his
companions laugh all the harder.
292
Alan Dean Poster
Except for one. Soft hands were around his neck and
still softer flesh in his lap as Folly sat down on his thighs.
"I understand, Jon-Tom. I feel sorry for you. I'll always
understand and I'll never laugh at you."
He struggled to squirm free of her grasp. This was
difficult since she was seated squarely in his lap and had
locked her hands tightly behind his neck.
"Folly," he said as he wrestled with her, "I've told you
before that there can't be anything between us! For one
thing, I already have a lady, and for another, you're too
young."
She grinned winsomely. "But she's half a world away
from here, and I'm getting older every day. If you'll give
me half a chance, I'll catch up to you." By now the
unicom was lying on his back kicking weakly at the air,
and Mudge was laughing hard enough to cry. Jon-Tom
fought to free himself and failed each time he tried,
because his hands kept contacting disconcerting objects.
Mudge looked up at his friend. Tears ran down his face
and formed droplets on the ends of his whiskers. " 'Ow
are you going to magic your way out o' this one, spell-
slinger?" Something nudged him from behind, and he saw
that the unicorn had crawled over close to him.
"Small you may be, otter, but you are most admirable
in so many ways. I look forward to joining you on your
homeward journey. It will give us the chance to get to
know each other better. And it is said that where there is a
will, there is a way." He nuzzled the wide-eyed otter's
haunches.
Then it was Jon-Tom's turn to laugh....
FB2 document info
Document ID: befb054e-0323-4994-9113-579189a7aac0
Document version: 1
Document creation date: 20.12.2011
Created using: calibre 0.8.18 software
Document authors :
Foster, Alan Dean
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