Pyramids

by Terry Pratchett

Page 18

 

  Ptraci let herself slide back down to the chilly stones of the floor. Come in through the door! She wondered how it could manage that. Humans would need to open it first.

  She crouched in the furthest corner of the cell, staring at the small rectangle of wood.

  Long minutes went past. At one point she thought she heard a tiny noise, like a gasp.

  A little later there was subtle clink of metal, so slight as to be almost beyond the range of hearing.

  More time wound on to the spool of eternity and then the silence beyond the cell, which had been the silence caused by absence of sound, very slowly became the silence caused by someone making no noise.

  She thought: Its right outside the door.

  There was a pause in which Teppic oiled all the bolts and hinges so that, when he made the final assault, the door swished open in heart-gripping noiselessness.

  I say? said a voice in the darkness.

  Ptraci pressed herself still further into the corner.

  Look, Ive come to rescue you.

  Now she could make out a blacker shadow in the flarelight. It stepped forward with rather more uncertainty than she would have expected from a demon.

  Are you coming or not? it said. Ive only knocked out the guards, its not their fault, but we havent got a lot of time.

  Im to be thrown to the crocodiles in the morning, whispered Ptraci. The king himself decreed it.

  He probably made a mistake.

  Ptracis eyes widened in horrified disbelief.

  The Soul Eater will take me! she said.

  Do you want it to?

  Ptraci hesitated.

  Well, then, said the figure, and took her unresisting hand. He led her out of the cell, where she nearly tripped over the prone body of a guard.

  Who is in the other cells? he said, pointing to the line of doors along the passage.

  I dont know, said Ptraci.

  Lets find out, shall we?

  The figure touched a can to the bolts and hinges of the next door and pushed it open. The flare from the narrow window illuminated a middle-aged man, seated cross-legged on the floor.

  Im here to rescue you, said the demon. The man peered up at him.

  Rescue? he said.

  Yes. Why are you here?

  The man hung his head. I spoke blasphemy against the king.

  How did you do that?

  I dropped a rock on my foot. Now my tongue is to be torn out.

  The dark figure nodded sympathetically.

  A priest heard you, did he? he said.

  No. I told a priest. Such words should not go unpunished, said the man virtuously.

  Were really good at it, Teppic thought. Mere animals couldnt possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid. I think we ought to talk about this outside, he said. Why not come with me?

  The man pulled back and glared at him.

  You want me to run away? he said.

  Seems a good idea, wouldnt you say?

  The man stared into his eyes, his lips moving silently. Then he appeared to reach a decision.

  Guards! he screamed.

  The shout echoed through the sleeping palace. His would-be rescuer stared at him in disbelief.

  Mad, Teppic said. Youre all mad.

  He stepped out of the room, grabbed Ptracis hand, and hurried along the shadowy passages. Behind them the prisoner made the most of his tongue while he still had it and used it to scream a stream of imprecations.

  Where are you taking me? said Ptraci, as they marched smartly around a corner and into a pillar-barred courtyard.

  Teppic hesitated. He hadnt thought much beyond this point.

  Why do they bother to bolt the doors? he demanded, eyeing the pillars. Thats what I want to know. Im surprised you didnt wander back to your cell while I was in there.

  I - I dont want to die, she said quietly.

  Dont blame you.

  You mustnt say that! Its wrong not to want to die! Teppic glanced up at the roof around the courtyard and unslung his grapnel.

  I think I ought to go back to my cell, said Ptraci, without actually making any move in that direction. Its wrong even to think of disobeying the king.

  Oh? What happens to you, then?

  Something bad, she said vaguely.

  You mean, worse than being thrown to the crocodiles or having your soul taken by the Soul Eater? said Teppic, and caught the grapnel firmly on some hidden ledge on the flat roof.

  Thats an interesting point, said Ptraci, winning the Teppic Award for clear thinking.

  Worth considering, isnt it? Teppic tested his weight on the cord.

  What youre saying is, if the worst is going to happen to you anyway, you might as well not bother any more, said Ptraci. If the Soul Eater is going to get you whatever you do, you might as well avoid the crocodiles, is that it?

  You go up first, said Teppic, I think someones coming.

  Who are you?

  Teppic fished in his pouch. Hed come back to Djeli an aeon ago with just the clothes he stood up in, but they were the clothes hed stood up in throughout his exam. He balanced a Number Two throwing knife in his hand, the steel glinting in the flarelight. It was possibly the only steel in the country; it wasnt that Djelibeybi hadnt heard about iron, it was just that if copper was good enough for your great-great-great-great-grandfather, it was good enough for you.

  No, the guards didnt deserve knives. They hadnt done anything wrong.

  His hand closed over the little mesh bag of caltraps. These were a small model, a mere one inch per spike. Caltraps didnt kill anyone, they just slowed them down a bit. One or two of them in the sole of the foot induced extreme slowness and caution in all except the terminally enthusiastic.

  He scattered a few across the mouth of the passage and ran back to the rope, hauling himself up in a few quick swings. He reached the roof just as the leading guards ran under the lintel. He waited until he heard the first curse, and then coiled up the rope and hurried after the girl.

  Theyll catch us, she said.

  I dont think so.

  And then the king will have us thrown to the crocodiles.

  Oh no, I dont think- Teppic paused. It was an intriguing idea.

  He might, he ventured. Its very hard to be sure about anything.

  So what shall we do now?

  Teppic stared across the river, where the pyramids were ablaze. The Great Pyramid was still under construction, by flarelight; a swarm of blocks, dwarfed by distance, hovered near its tip. The amount of labour Ptaclusp was putting on the job was amazing.

  What a flare that will give, he thought. Itll be seen all the way to Ankh.

  Horrible things, arent they, said Ptraci, behind him.

  Do you think so?

  Theyre creepy. The old king hated them, you know. He said they nailed the Kingdom to the past.

  Did he say why?

  No. He just hated them. He was a nice old boy. Very kind. Not like this new one. She blew her nose and replaced her handkerchief in its scarcely adequate space in her sequinned bra.

  Er, what exactly did you have to do? As a handmaiden, I mean? said Teppic, scanning the rooftop panorama to hide his embarrassment.

  She giggled. Youre not from around here, are you?

  No. Not really.

  Talk to him, mainly. Or just listen. He could really talk, but he always said no-one ever really listened to what he said.

  Yes, said Teppic, with feeling. And that was all, was it?

  She stared at him, and then giggled again. Oh, that? No, he was very kind. I wouldnt of minded, you understand, I had all the proper training. Bit of a disappointment, really. The women of my family have served under the kings for centuries, you know.

  Oh yes? he managed.

  I dont know whether youve ever seen a book, its called The Shuttered-

  -Palace, said Teppic automatically.

/>   I thought a gentleman like youd know about it, said Ptraci, nudging him. Its a sort of textbook. Well, my great-great-grandmother posed for a lot of the pictures. Not recently, she added, in case he hadnt fully understood, I mean, that would be a bit off-putting, shes been dead for twenty-five years. When she was younger. I look a lot like her, everyone says.

  Urk, agreed Teppic.

  She was famous. She could put her feet behind her head, you know. So can I. Ive got my Grade Three.

  Urk?

  The old king told me once that the gods gave people a sense of humour to make up for giving them sex. I think he was a bit upset at the time.

  Urk. Only the whites of Teppics eyes were showing.

  You dont say much, do you?

  The breeze of the night was blowing her perfume towards him. Ptraci used scent like a battering ram.

  Weve got to find somewhere to hide you, he said, concentrating on each word. Havent you got any parents or anything? He tried to ignore the fact that in the shadowless flarelight she appeared to glow, and didnt have much success.

  Well, my mother still works in the palace somewhere, said Ptraci. But I dont think shed be very sympathetic.

  Weve got to get you away from here, said Teppic fervently. If you can hide somewhere today, I can steal some horses or a boat or something. Then you could go to Tsort or Ephebe or somewhere.

  Foreign, you mean? I dont think Id like that, said Ptraci.

  Compared to the netherworld?

  Well. Put like that, of course . . . She took his arm. Why did you rescue me?

  Er? Because being alive is better than being dead, I think.

  Ive read up to number 46, Congress of the Five Auspicious Ants, said Ptraci. If youve got some yoghurt, we could-

  No! I mean, no. Not here. Not now. There must be people looking for us, its nearly dawn.

  Theres no need to yelp like that! I was just trying to be kind.

  Yes. Good. Thank you. Teppic broke away and peered desperately over a parapet into one of the palaces numerous light wells.

  This leads to the embalmers workshops, he said. There must be plenty of places to hide down here. He unwound the cord again.

  Various rooms led off the well. Teppic found one lined with benches and floored with wood shavings; a doorway led through to another room stacked with mummy cases, each one surmounted by the same golden dolly face hed come to know and loathe. He tapped on a few, and raised the lid of the nearest.

  No-one at home, he said. You can have a nice rest in here. I can leave the lid open a bit so you can get some air.

  You cant think Id risk that? Supposing you didnt come back!

  Ill be back tonight, said Teppic. And - and Ill see if I can drop some food and water in some time today. She stood on tiptoe, her ankle bangles jingling all the way down Teppics libido. He glanced down involuntarily and saw that every toenail was painted. He remembered Cheesewright telling them behind the stables one lunch-hour that girls who painted their toenails were . . . well, he couldnt quite remember now, but it had seemed pretty unbelievable at the time.

  It looks very hard, she said.

  What?

  If Ive got to lie in it, itll need some cushions.

  Ill put some wood shavings in, look! said Teppic. But hurry up! Please!

  All right. But you will be back, wont you? Promise?

  Yes, yes! I promise!

  He wedged a splinter of wood on the case to allow an airhole, heaved the lid back on and ran for it.

  The ghost of the king watched him go.

  The sun rose. As the golden light spilled down the fertile valley of the Djel the pyramid flares paled and became ghost dancers against the lightening sky. They were now accompanied by a noise. It had been there all the time, far too high-pitched for mortal ears, a sound now dropping down from the far ultrasonic

  KKKkkkkkkhhheeee. . .