Chemistry of a Kiss

by Kimberly Krey

  I yanked my eyes off Ms. Tolken and her polyester suit to catch his gaze. Was he about to say yes right here and now? I would welcome the idea with open arms. He didn’t have to answer in some special way; he just needed to answer.

  He shrugged and added, “Just so you know.”

  Just so you know? “That’s awesome,” I said with an encouraging nod.

  But, as Mr. Meadows would say, encourage him it did not. Jett said nothing more of it. In fact, he told me after school ended that practice would run late and he had an essay to write. “I’ll text you later,” he’d promised, but that did little to assure me, and if I were being honest, he seemed a little…off.

  I climbed into bed early that night, feeling very determined to stay focused on positive thoughts. Maybe Jett was distancing himself a little so he could surprise me by answering in some fun way. Yes, that made perfect sense. Things were good.

  My phone buzzed with a text just then, and the fact that it was from Jett seemed to prove my point.

  Just got back from practice. Gonna crank out this essay now. I missed hanging out today. You free tomorrow night?

  The worst part about this text was the fact that I was not free. Mom had made dinner plans with my grandparents before they took off on their month-long vacation to Florida. I’d already begged her to let Jett come along but she said no, insisting that I’d ignore everyone but Jett the entire time. She went on to assure me that we could include him in things like that if we were still dating when her parents got back from Florida.

  I stared at my phone for ten solid minutes, wishing there was a way around this whole dinner party. Thoughts of faking sick came to mind, but guilt about not saying goodbye to my grandparents squashed that idea. So I finally relented.

  I missed hanging out with you too. I’ve got to do dinner with the grandparents tomorrow night. Maybe after I get back if it’s not too late?

  I had to add that part. The truth was, I’d sneak him right into my room that night if I had to. I just wanted to…to make sure I was only imagining Jett’s distant manner.

  I stared at the screen, waiting for his response, hoping he’d say that sounded good. When no reply came, I hopped onto social media and scrolled through dozens of posts about couples going to Sadies. I hoped Jett would hurry and answer me so I could write one of those he said yes posts as well.

  My phone buzzed then, and I swiped over to read his text.

  Yeah, that’d be good. I forgot to tell you. Coach says we have to bring our letterman jackets for the assembly tomorrow. Would you mind bringing it?

  I clenched my eyes against the sentence, willing it to not penetrate the shield I’d built, but it was already too late. He hadn’t said yes to the dance yet, he hadn’t hung out with me tonight (something he usually tried to do no matter the circumstance), and now he wanted his jacket back. These were signs, weren’t they?

  My heart felt like it was growing knots. A dozen of them with sharp and prickly points.

  I thought back on our time in his truck Friday night. The intimate moments we’d shared. Had they meant more to me than they had Jett? What if he’d only wanted to use me all along so he could get Tasha back? I tried very hard to reject that idea by reminding myself of the moments we shared when no one else was there.

  But what if he had only been faking all along? It would make sense for him to panic and pull away once I asked him to the dance. Unless he wanted to use it as a way to make Tasha jealous even still. If that really was his incentive, he’d feel bad if he thought I was starting to fall for him. The guy had a conscience, I knew that much.

  But then a very ugly thought hit my mind like a train: What if he was waiting for a better offer? Better, as in, from Tasha?

  My stomach clenched at the thought.

  Come on, Harper. It’s been two days for crying out loud. Give the guy a minute to reply.

  But it was more than just his lack of reply that had me in knots. When you add on his distant manner and now the whole jacket thing…

  This was my punishment for not helping TJ the way I was meant to. I knew it. I was being selfish by pursuing a man who’d be perfectly healthy with or without me. I should…what, sacrifice my own happiness at the off chance I could make a difference?

  I rolled my eyes at how stupid I sounded. And had I forgotten about the fact that TJ picked Tasha over me by making out with her while we were dating?

  “Right,” I muttered to myself.

  I felt proud for not letting guilt about TJ bring me to an even lower state. It didn’t take care of my problem with Jett, but at least it didn’t add to it. I realized then that I hadn’t replied to Jett about the jacket. I readied my thumbs, stared at the screen, and wondered if I should just be upfront with him about the dance. Why was I tiptoeing around the issue? So what if it was taboo to talk about until the answer came. The answer hadn’t come and I only had a few days left to plan.

  Okay, so what would I say to him? I tried tapping it out as an idea came to mind. So I know this is kind of awkward… “Oh my gosh, no!” I held a heavy thumb on the delete button until the stupid sentence disappeared.

  The cursor was still flashing at me so I tried again. Bailey and Summer were talking about going on a big group date for Saturday. I know you haven’t answered me back yet, but… “No, that’s ridiculous.” I put my thumb into action again, tapping triple time on the delete button.

  I’d just have to do it in person. I would. I’d do it first thing in the morning. With my determination set, I tapped out a new reply.

  Yeah, I’ll bring your jacket. Night.

  I hit send and groaned. “There. You happy?” I snapped to Jett through my phone.

  A text popped up in reply. Thanks. Night, Harper. Sweet dreams.

  I shook my head and plopped my phone back onto the nightstand. I had no idea what was going on between us, and his texts were only making things worse. Sweet dreams, huh? I was pretty sure I was in for anything but.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I entered the school through the east hallway with Jett on my mind. We hadn’t kissed since Friday night and I was beginning to go through withdrawal. A very large part of me wanted to march up to him, back him up against the locker, and remind him of what we’d shared in his truck last week.

  In case he’d forgotten over the last few days. Meanwhile I was over here replaying the scene in my mind (with great detail, I might add) a hundred times a day.

  Despite the fact that it was chilly out, I opted to not wear Jett’s jacket. It would just feel too shameful to shrug out of it before handing it back. It was bad enough that I had to let go of it at all. But I was starting to believe that I didn’t deserve to have a boyfriend so good; that I was destined to latch myself only to men who needed to be rescued from themselves—not that I’d be able to do anything about it.

  I had seriously considered staying home for the day and letting Summer or Bailey bring his jacket to him, but my curiosity about the assembly won out. Plus, I really couldn’t go around missing school without being punished for it later. If not by my mom, then by the sheer amount of makeup work.

  And then there was the small vow I’d made yesterday to confront him about the dance. I had to do that today no matter how awkward it felt.

  Sadly, Jett was nowhere to be found. In fact, I scanned the adjacent lockers where a bunch of his teammates usually stood, but didn’t find any of the guys there either. Suddenly, I heard the frantic call of my name.

  “Harper, we need his jacket.”

  I looked over to see Tasha weaving her way past a group of sophomores. Her bright green eyes were focused on the jacket draped over my arm. She held her hand out as she neared and added, “Okay?”

  But it wasn’t. It was not okay that I was supposed to hand Jett’s letterman jacket over to his vicious ex-girlfriend without a care in the world.

  Heat boiled up the back of my shoulders and neck. I glanced down at the name and number stitched on the front, hating the idea of Tash
a prancing along the hall while it hung loosely off her shoulders.

  “Where is Jett?” I asked.

  “Practicing for the assembly, of course.” She thrust her hand toward me once more. “C’mon, I’ve really got to get back in there.”

  The fact that she was dressed in uniform said that her probation period was over and she was probably in the assembly with him, which made sense. The cheerleaders were almost always part of the assemblies.

  “Here,” I finally said, forcing myself to hand it over.

  Tasha snatched it with a fast fist. “Thanks.” She shot me a smug-looking grin and tipped her head to one side. “You coming to the assembly?”

  Nausea worked its way through my gut in a cold, slow crawl. “I’m not sure,” I said. The last thing I wanted was to give Tasha the satisfaction of being part of her adoring audience.

  She gasped theatrically. “Why not? Jett will be in it, and you’re, like, claiming that he’s your boyfriend now, aren’t you?”

  I gulped. “I’m not claiming anything.”

  She held my gaze for a moment more, then nodded. “Too bad he can’t really get over me, isn’t it? If I wanted, I could have Jett back like this.” She snapped her fingers in front of my face.

  I flinched, but the fury fuse had been lit and there was no stopping the response it triggered. “Wow,” I blurted. “One minute you want TJ, the next you want Jett back. Make up your mind, Tasha. It seems like you want whoever I’m with.” I did a theatrical move of my own—a head tilt as I placed a finger beneath my chin in wonder. “Tell me, are we in some sort of competition, because I think I missed the memo?”

  “This coming from the girl who used to chase my boyfriend down and kiss him on the playground.”

  The angry heat spread like wildfire to my chest. “Get over it, Tasha. How many kindergarten memories are you clinging to?”

  “Break it up, girls,” came a familiar voice. I glanced over to see Connor standing nearby. Levi was there too, a concerned expression on his face.

  In fact, a small crowd had gathered around us. I looked beyond Jett’s friends, hoping to see Jett there for myself, but failing.

  “I’ll take that,” Levi said. He snatched the jacket out of her hand and took off back down the hall.

  I hid a satisfied grin; at least Tasha wouldn’t be wearing it.

  “Let’s go, Tasha,” Connor said.

  The pint-sized brunette shot me a squinty-eyed glare and waved at me with flittering fingers. “Bah-bye, now.”

  I caught Connor giving me a lingering look after Tasha left. “Sorry,” he said when our eyes met. “She’s a brat.”

  I shrugged, hoping it would make up for the heat I felt pooling into my face. “I can take it.”

  Connor looked down the hallway then back to me, his weight shifting from one foot to the next. “I, um…everything okay with you and Jett?”

  “What?” The bell rang out, blasting over my response. “What do you mean?”

  “Crap,” he mumbled while glancing at his watch. “I’ve got to go. I’ll…we’ll talk later.” He darted around the crowd as lockers slammed and students made their way to class.

  Holy Adrenalineville. My heart was going all sorts of crazy. I was mad and embarrassed all at once. Add a mass of confusion to that after Connor’s question, and you have one hot disaster.

  “They don’t call them the Mean Girls for nothing,” one girl said to me as she closed a nearby locker—a pretty blonde I’d seen around school but never spoken to.

  “Yeah.” I forced a smile. “I guess you’re right.”

  I made my way to first period in a daze, asking myself if I could handle the dumb assembly. While Ms. Tolken took roll, I drew up a pie chart depicting my ability to handle whatever what might happen with Jett in front of the entire school. And why had Tasha acted so surprised when I said I might not go? Connor had asked if I was angry with Jett next…

  I asked him to the dance, hadn’t I? Did he think I was mad at Jett for not answering yet? An idea came very close to my mind, but it flittered off as I tried to catch hold of it.

  Something about the dance and the fact that Jett hadn’t answered me—that was it! He was going to answer me during the assembly, wasn’t he?

  The anger clenching my arms and back gave way to a new sense of elation.

  “Time to head on down to the assembly,” Ms. Tolken announced. She removed the dark-rimmed glasses, revealing a face that could possibly belong to a super model, and squared a warning look over the class. “If you get caught trying to sneak off and step out during the assembly, you will be marked truant.”

  Oh, there was no worry about that. Not anymore. This time I nearly floated down that hallway, carried by thoughts of Jett Bryant telling me yes in front of the entire school. I loved the idea. I loved it so much that I didn’t even care if Tasha wanted to flatter herself and say it was all some act to make her jealous. I knew better, and that’s all that mattered.

  The drill team started things off with a song by Nirvana to get everyone hyped up about the Sadie Hawkins dance. It worked. By the time Coach came out to explain why we should be exceptionally proud of both our boys and girls basketball teams the gymnasium was in a state of chaos, cheering wildly after every word he said.

  When he introduced the captain of the boys team, Mr. Brown Eyes himself, the school exploded. The captain of the girls team roused a similar response, and soon both captains—along with their co-captains—lined up along the front and slipped on a pair of sunglasses.

  A new song kicked up with a heavy beat, this one by INXS. Suddenly the rest of the teams danced onto the court, the guys from one side, the girls from the other. Just when I thought they’d leave it at that and filter off the court, the song changed and the cheerleaders entered the scene in an array of acrobatic moves.

  I tore my eyes off Jett and all of his masculine glory to check for Tasha. It’d be just like her to pair up with him somehow. Lo and behold, she was there, and shimmying her way right over to Jett. I watched in horror as four cheerleaders paired up with the captains and co-captains, male cheerleaders for the girls, female ones for the boys.

  A small ache stabbed right into my chest as Jett took Tasha by the waist and lifted her off the ground in a dance move that went right to the beat. Was this the practice he’d stayed after for last night?

  Tasha spun around then, and Jett moved down to one knee in time for Tasha to sit on his other leg and toss her arm around the back of his neck. The exact move was played out with the others as well but all I could focus on was Jett.

  The song ended at last and everyone else in the gymnasium burst into applause. I began a countdown in my head, wondering how long it would take for Tasha to get her grubs off of Jett.

  “I’ve been waiting until today to answer you,” came a voice from the mic over the crowd. It took me a moment to locate Kenny, another guy from the team. He stood up front, shifting his weight from one foot to the next while twisting the cord around his finger. A hush fell over the crowd. “Annie Chetler, where are you?”

  A round of squeals sounded from one section of the bleachers, and a petite blonde girl came to a stand. The one from the hall, I realized.

  “Come on down here, and you’ll get your answer,” Kenny said, twiddling the cord some more.

  A couple of the male cheerleaders made a bench for her out of their legs where Annie took a seat and watched Kenny bust into a few dance moves with a cheerleader on either side of him. At last they spun away from her, produced some cards they’d had tucked out of sight, and spun back to reveal the letters YES.

  This time I joined in on the cheering. My heart joined in too, beating double time as I saw exactly what I’d hoped might happen becoming a very real probability. I’d forgive him for waiting so long if he’d done it to simply answer me during the assembly.

  I watched two other guys answer two other girls, one of whom was on the girls basketball team. I glanced over to see if Jett would move up to the
microphone between each one, but so far he’d stayed tucked into a cluster by his teammates where they watched the action.

  I wasn’t sure where Tasha had gone off to, but she made her reappearance by stepping up to the microphone. While grabbing it with one hand, she cheered with the other by pumping a fist and thrusting it high over her head.

  “J, E, T, T, will you go to the dance with me?”

  The rest of the cheer team gathered around her and repeated the phrase while my brain tried to process what I’d just heard.

  “J, E, T, T, will you go to the dance with me?”

  Wait a minute, Tasha was asking Jett to Sadie’s?

  Tasha took the lead again. “I know it’s late but we both need a date, so what’s it gonna be?”

  The squad echoed that line as well while Tasha urged Jett front and center with a curling finger.

  Nausea roared through me like a wild beast. I wanted to throw up and punch something all at the same time.

  Jett shuffled casually to the appointed spot and glanced up and over the bleachers. I got the impression that he was looking for me. Did he know how furious I was? How hurt and confused and angry I was that he hadn’t just answered me? None of this would be happening right now if he had just told me yes.

  But perhaps that was just it. Maybe this is what he’d been wanting all along. To make Tasha jealous enough to come crawling back. At least this way, he might not look so pathetic for taking her back. After all, who could turn someone down in front of the entire school?

  Tasha danced a circle around Jett, twirling a finger on his shoulders and sang out one more line. “Check your pockets and you will find one of the answers you have in mind. Yes or no, what will it be? Please hold it up for me to see.”

  A hush fell over the crowd once more.

  A drumbeat picked up as Jett shoved his hands into his pockets.

  “Say yes,” a random guy shouted from the bleachers. A few students chuckled.

  Jett tugged a card from each pocket and proceeded to open both. He stared at them for a bit, then shot a look at me exactly where I sat. My heart stopped. I was sure of it, as one side of his lip quirked up. It looked more like an apology than a grin.