Unspoken Love

by Lynn Gale - Unspoken Love

  Nicholas glared at her. “Thank you for refreshing my memory, Jenny. I am only your husband on paper!” He stormed out the door, slamming it behind him.

  Jenny moved to the window and watched Nicholas ride away. She’d almost given in to him. If he comes near me, my heart goes aflutter, and I have butterflies in the pit of my stomach! Still, I must be strong. I am nothing to him, and I refuse to succumb to him under these conditions! After the facade of a marriage he forced me into, I’ll not give in to him, ever!

  She filled her cup with coffee, went to her room, and dressed.

  She hummed as she began her chores. She grabbed a bucket from the porch and filled it with water from the well. A horse neighed in the distance, and she glanced past the willow tree. Had Nicholas returned? To her dismay, she saw Blake Preston riding toward her.

  Blake dismounted and came to her aid. “Let me help you. You are doing servant’s work.” A smile lit his face as he took the pail of water from Jenny and placed it on the veranda.

  Jenny studied her handsome friend in the bright sun. “I’m surprised to see you, Blake.”

  He flashed her a grin and then his expression turned grim. “Your father told me you married Nicholas Grant. I could hardly believe it!”

  “We married a few months ago.”

  He grasped her hand. “Are you truly happy, Jennifer?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” she countered. She glanced away, praying he wouldn’t pick up on her troubled heart.

  “I’m sorry, Jenny. Of course you’re happy. Why else would you marry? It’s just that—”

  “What?”

  “I got the notion we would someday marry.” He forced himself to be cheerful and glanced about Small Timbers. “It appears I waited too long to propose, and now you are mistress of a fine plantation.”

  “I didn’t know you cared so deeply, Blake.”

  “I would have spoken for you sooner, but business took me away from Greenville while I established a shipping trade. I couldn’t properly court you, so I didn’t express my feelings.”

  “I see.” Steering the conversation away from intimate matters, she grabbed an empty pail from the veranda. “Walk with me to the raspberry patch,” she invited.

  They strolled around the grounds, stopping when they came to bushes loaded with deep, red berries. Jenny carefully plucked the ripe fruit and dropped it into the bucket.

  Leaning his large frame against the fence, Blake plopped a berry into his mouth and fondly recollected their childhood.

  “Do you remember how you begged me to coach you when Thomas came to visit my parents. You’d sit on the veranda with me while I tutored you.”

  Jenny smiled. “I do. Molly taught me housekeeping skills, to sew, and dance. She even instructed me how to speak delicately of some of the pleasant literature of the day. I was a farm girl at heart, but I craved a better education.”

  “I remember when Thomas let me take you out riding. You rode as well as I did. We’d stop to rest and wrestle on the grass. You were a tomboy, daring to do what I did. Your sweet laughter filled the air and brightened my days. I hated leaving you behind when my parents transferred me to a private academy.”

  Jenny recalled the palatial home outside the city where Blake lived. “The years have been good to you, Blake. Your parents worked their way into prosperity. They saw to your education and instilled the value of money at an early age.” A gleam came into her eyes. “You value the finer things in life, but you’re not the pompous lad many take you for.”

  Blake grinned at her summation. “Thanks for the compliment.” He went on to explain, “I recently added several ships to my fleet and purchased some new properties. One is a lovely place in Natchez where I’m living now.”

  “You’re wise and prosperous,” Jenny praised. “I’m happy for you.” With her bucket full of berries, she headed for the house.

  “I still fondly remember my roots and divide my time between Natchez and Greenville. But most of all, I miss you, Jenny.”

  “I am married now.” She saw the hurt in his eyes and amended her statement. “We will always be friends.”

  “Friends forever,” Blake answered, hugging her gently. He held her at arms’ length. “You look like an angel the way the sun is beaming down upon your hair.”

  Feeling a need to make a truce with Jenny, Nicholas started for the house. Coldness replaced his complaisant mood as he saw Jenny in the meadow, embracing a man. He watched the twosome as they laughed and frolicked, oblivious to their surroundings as Jenny knelt and put raspberries into a pail. A frown creased his brow as Jenny’s friend dropped beside her and helped fill the bucket. He rode toward them, fury pounding in his veins.

  Taken unaware, Jenny and Blake looked up at Nicholas.

  He stared at them with intensity as Blake cautiously helped Jenny to her feet.

  Tension filled the sunny day as Jenny fixed her eyes on Nicholas. Wishing to be honest from the onset and refusing to be bullied by his stony glare, she introduced Blake to Nicholas.

  Blake gave Nicholas a reproachful look. His voice dripped with animosity.

  “So, you are the one who took my true love from me.”

  “Blake!” Jenny reprimanded.

  Nicholas sent Blake a hostile glare; his jawline tensed.

  “Leave now, or pay the price,” he warned through clenched teeth.

  “Yes, go,” Jenny encouraged, hoping to avoid an argument. Blake’s gaze riveted on her.

  “If you insist,” he said with reluctance. He whistled for his horse and mounted. “I’ll be in town for a few days if you need me Jenny.” Slowly he rode down the lane.

  Jenny cast her eyes downward to avoid Nicholas’s probing, angry eyes. Rushing down the path, she carried the berries into the house, then washed her stained hands.

  Nicholas took Dexter to the stables, then followed Jenny into the house. He swung her around to face him. “Weren’t you a bit careless inviting your lover here?”

  “How dare you accuse me of such nonsense?” Jenny shouted. “I really am trying to make this marriage work.”

  “By letting another man kiss you?” he countered. “The same man that kissed you at the church.”

  “You were watching me,” she accused.

  He brushed off her comment. “We made a deal, and until the year is up, you are my wife. I will not have you seeing other men.”

  “Blake only came here after visiting Father. I did not invite him!”

  “I saw him embracing you. I can’t handle another man holding you.” He brought her face upwards and kissed her deeply. He ran his fingers over her shapely curves, massaging her smooth taut skin. With just a few strokes, he opened her blouse.

  A mixture of anger and passion consumed Jenny. She wanted him, but she didn’t. Holding back her feelings, she refused to respond when he pressed his suit. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. “Please, don’t.”

  Nicholas swore under his breath. “You tempt me still, but I won’t force my attentions on you.” He sent her a regretful look. “Forgive me Jenny, I shouldn’t have—”

  “You had no right to kiss me.”

  Nicholas peered into Jenny’s eyes now wet with tears. Calmly, he replied, “You are my wife, I had every right.”

  Smarting from his wayward thinking, she stated, “I can’t wait for the day I can be free of you and your inheritance!” Then she stormed from the room.

  Nicholas watched her leave and fought the urge to follow. When he married Jenny, he thought the year would run smoothly and she would be out of his life soon enough, but he hadn’t counted on her determination, beauty, and wit. Mostly, he hadn’t expected these tortured emotions when other men tried to inch their way into her life. He straightened his clothes, then exited the room while Jenny continued to
take precedence over his thoughts.

  Jenny washed her face and slipped on fresh clothing. With nervous energy, she brushed her hair until it glistened. In spite of the sensations that engulfed her whenever Nicholas was near, she hadn’t expected him to kiss her with such passion and wondered if this was a portent of life to come. Bewildered and defenseless in the wake of what had happened, she wondered if she should take back her promise and leave the plantation before she lost all sense of dignity. She looked up to see Nicholas standing in the doorway.

  “What happened is over, Jenny. Don’t leave should the notion strike you, or you may find I am not so willing to give you a divorce that you so badly seek.” Abruptly, he turned on his heel and strode from the room.

  Jenny mulled over his words. Did Nicholas know her so well that he could read her mind? She took in a deep breath and then exhaled slowly to steady her nerves before returning to her chores.

  Over the next several weeks, Nicholas kept his distance from Jenny. Still, he fought an inner battle. He dined with her, and although they were civil to one another, their relationship was strained.

  Secretly, he agonized over their estranged marriage and often went to the study to ponder his predicament. He knew he’d been wrong to force Jenny into marriage but had not reckoned she would torture his thoughts day and night. He wanted to laugh with her, be her companion, and share intimacy. He recalled the thrill of passion he’d felt the last time he had kissed her and wanted to make love to her all hours of the day. He dreamt of feeling her response beneath him as he embraced her, but Jenny had built a wall between them, refusing him entrance.

  Jenny remained aloof, but it didn’t stop her from being friends with Warren Bond and Billy. She rode out with a basket of food and shared lunch with the amiable pair.

  Billy and Warren greeted her with enthusiasm.

  Warren peeked into the picnic basket. “What did you bring us today?”

  “Chicken and buttered biscuits with jam,” Jenny replied, pleased she was at least making one man happy. She affectionately rubbed Billy’s tousled brown hair and grinned. “When you’re finished eating lunch, I have a piece of hardtack for you.”

  “Thank you!” Billy exclaimed, grabbing a chicken leg from the basket.

  Jenny saw the bond between the two and was glad Warren was filling the void in Billy’s life. Each day she noticed Billy becoming more confident under Warren’s patient care as he divided his time between working in the fields and helping at the stables. She was careful not to let on that her marriage was in shambles.

  One afternoon when Nicholas was working close by, he joined them for lunch. Helping himself to the food, he sat quietly and observed Jenny. He found himself envious of Warren as she joked and laughed with him. At these times, it tore at his heart when Warren playfully winked at Jenny, and she responded by smiling coyly. Clearly, Jenny had Warren under her spell as their relationship continued to blossom.

  One night after Jenny had retired, Nicholas went to the study and grabbed a bottle of whisky from the shelf. He sat at the desk, his fingers closing over a half-filled glass, and swirled the amber liquor in his hands. His thoughts drifted to Jennifer. The same questions churned in his head. Am I in love with her? Is that why she is driving me mad? He brought the glass to his lips, tasting the bitter whisky, preparing to drink himself into oblivion. Abruptly he set the glass back on the desk. As the clock struck eleven, he rose from the chair and went upstairs. He paused at Jenny’s chamber and prepared to move on, but driven to see her, he stole into her room. In the moonlight, he stood in the shadows, watching her sleep and dreaming of caressing her creamy, luscious curves. He bent down and rained kisses in her hair, moving along her cheek, and coming to rest on her mouth.

  Jenny awoke to Nicholas’s smothering kisses. The faint smell of liquor on his breath caused her to fear he’d drunk himself into a stupor, but she knew otherwise when he gently massaged her skin and trailed kisses along her nape. “Have you taken leave of your senses?” she queried.

  “Maybe I have just found them,” he whispered passionately. He held her firmly in his grasp. “Jenny, Jenny, your body is made for loving. We could give each other exquisite pleasure if you let me.”

  Jenny’s mood shifted to desire. She wanted him to love her. She didn’t protest when he loosened his trousers and fell atop her. Inching her nightgown up to her waist, he penetrated her. Her initial discomfort was quickly replaced by sheer pleasure. As her feelings intensified, she knew she was on the verge of something new and eagerly waited for the climax. Nicholas moaned with delight and spilled his seed inside her. As he withdrew, he fell into a deep sleep.

  The feelings that she had anticipated slipped away, her needs replaced with wonder and disappointment. What was this feeling that had almost claimed her? Guilt tugged at her conscience for allowing Nicholas to consummate their marriage. Again, she reminded herself that he wanted her only to gain ownership of Small Timbers, something she had momentarily forgotten as passion overtook her lucid thinking.

  She nudged Nicholas off of her, causing him to roll onto his back. Slipping out of bed, she groped in the darkness and lit the lamp. A golden glow cast shadows in the room as she gazed down at Nicholas. His trousers had slipped to his ankles, leaving him exposed to her view. Flustered, she grabbed the sheet to cover him. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment, and she foresaw living in shame for all time should he awaken at this moment.

  “How am I supposed to get you to your bed!” she asked aloud. She knew exhaustion kept him anchored to the mattress. He didn’t reply as his loud snores filled her chamber. Jenny took in his disheveled appearance and realized he still had his boots on. None too gently, she yanked the sheet aside. “I don’t need the bed linen soiled from the likes of your shoes,” she chastised and dropped them loudly to the floor. Still, Nicholas did not move. In the dim light, she gazed at his handsome profile. He looks so gentle in sleep. Her mind twisted with indecision. Why must we have this tension between us? He stirred her emotions, and she held feelings for him. If she and Nicholas had met on other terms, would she love him as no other? Would he love her for all time? She reached out to touch his thick wavy hair and then drew back as she realized how ludicrous her thinking had become. The man had come to her room uninvited and claimed his conjugal rights. Reminding herself that he only wanted her for his own gain, she became even more determined not to let him steal her heart.

  She couldn’t move Nicholas, nor could she share the night with him. Extinguishing the light, she tiptoed through the door separating their rooms and entered his chamber to sleep the remainder of the night there. She pulled the covers aside and got into bed. If Nicholas didn’t approve of her being there, she was sure to know come morning.

  The following morning Nicholas awoke to birds chirping and flapping their wings as they took up residence on a tree branch near the window. Gazing about the room, his eyes focused on feminine décor, and he realized he was in Jenny’s chamber. He tried to recall why he was there, and gradually, he remembered the sublime pleasure that he had claimed from Jenny. He looked around for her, but she wasn’t in the room. He walked to his bedroom and prepared to wash, stopping abruptly as his eyes raked over Jenny’s nearly nude form lying in his bed. Her gown, stained with virgin blood, had risen, exposing smooth white thighs as she slept. Passion consumed him, and he fought the urge to join her as he drank in her beauty, desiring her . . .

  Jenny stretched and rolled onto her back. Gradually she opened her eyes and saw Nicholas standing beside the bed. Bolting to a sitting position, she snatched the sheet and covered herself.

  “Don’t come near me, Nicholas Grant! I don’t want you stealing into my room and ravishing me on a whim! You smelled of whisky last night. I won’t have you in my bed!” She trembled with rage.

  Nicholas lifted her from the bed and forced her to meet his gaze. “I was stone sobe
r, last night.”

  She saw the passion in his eyes. At a loss for words, she ran from the room, his haunting laughter ringing in her ears.

  Chapter 9

  Six weeks after Jenny spent the night with Nicholas, she awoke with nausea. Dashing to the washbasin, she retched, then stumbled back to bed.

  Nicholas finished dressing in his chamber. Hearing Jenny’s distress, he strode into the room. “Are you contracting an illness again?”

  Jenny didn’t immediately answer him as she sat deep in thought, jolted by what her symptoms could mean. A blanket of sadness engulfed her, for what should be the happiest of occasions was turning into a nightmare. Nicholas’s voice entered her consciousness.

  “What is ailing you, Jenny?”

  Her eyes filled with anguish. “I am going to have a baby!” An incredulous expression swept over him and his eyes took on a stormy hue. “Are you sure?”

  “I—I—” she began, unable to finish her sentence when he interrupted her.

  “Your pregnancy nullifies our marriage contract and will permanently tie us down.”

  Stricken by his disheartening behavior, Jenny jumped to her feet. Overcome with dizziness, she collapsed and fainted.

  Nicholas caught her on the way down. Immediately regretting his outburst, he laid her on the bed and applied a wet cloth to her brow. His gaze swept over Jenny’s pale face. Beautiful, yet vulnerable, she lay motionless, causing him to reflect on his response when he heard the news. How must she feel when it is I, who has done this injustice to her? She is going to have my child. I should be sure she stays healthy . . .

  Jenny stirred and saw Nicholas bending over her.