The Way You Love Me: A High School Bully Romance

by Lannah Smith

  It wasn't cold but I was freezing. Fortunately, I had a jacket on. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to keep the cold at bay.

  "It's Christmas, Okaasan," I tried again. "They're preparing a feast."

  She didn't reply.

  "Dad is here. He's brought gifts. And Haru—"

  Suddenly her head came up and with an enraged shriek, her hand came back and she struck my face.

  Hard.

  I lost balance from the force, falling sideways off my chair.

  Before I could recover from the blow and the shock, she was on me, straddling me, pulling my hair and yanking at it violently.

  "You don't speak his name," she hissed, spittle dribbling down the side of her mouth. "You don't speak his name!"

  I sobbed and tried to make her stop. "Okaasan, please!"

  "You don't speak his name!" She wrapped both hands around my throat, cutting my airway off. "You, who brought nothing but misfortune to him. You, who almost killed him!"

  She continued to shout but I couldn't hear her words above the ringing in my ears. The world started the fade around the edges and I struggled to get her off me.

  But she was too strong. Hatred and rage had made her too strong.

  "Kaa... san..." I choked out.

  Then she was gone.

  Air rushed in my lungs and I sucked it in. I rolled over, coughing, breathing and crying at the same time. Through my tears, I saw my mother in the arms of Haru. He was pulling her away from me but his eyes were on me, his face so furious that I started to believe he'd hurt me too.

  "Get her out of here, Kabakura!" he shouted over the racket my mother was making. "Take her to her room."

  My mother quieted down as soon as she heard his voice.

  "Haru," she crooned, turning and wrapping her arms around his neck. "Haru. Watashi wa anata wo mamori-masu. Watashi wa anata o sono monsuta kara mamori-masu."

  I will protect you, she said.

  My breath hitched and I didn't feel like I could breathe again.

  I will protect you from that monster.

  Kabakura helped me up and I tried to stop crying but I couldn't. When I couldn't move a step, I was trembling too much, he bent, slid one arm behind my back and another under my knees, and gathered me into his arms.

  "Daijoube desu, Okaasan." I heard Haru say gently to her as Kabakura and I were leaving the room. "Daijoube desu."

  Listening to his words, gentle, kind but meant for my mother, made me sob harder into Kabakura's suit.

  Silently, Kabakura laid me down on my bed and draped a blanket around my shaking body. I wrapped my arms around my knees, my body bucking violently as I cried. My fingers were curled into my palms tightly but the pain was not near enough to get me through this.

  She tried to kill me.

  My own mother actually tried to kill me.

  Why?

  Why did she hate me so much?

  "You idiot!" Haru snapped as he walked into the room. "Why in the world would you enter her room unsupervised?"

  My wet eyes shot to him and I opened my mouth but he cut me off immediately.

  "Urusai!" he barked. Leaning forward in a way that made me flinch, he went on, "How could you be so fucking stupid?"

  My nails tore fiercely into my palms and I bit my lip, sucking in breath, each time hitching so painfully my body bucked with each breath.

  "Jesus, Terry. How can I take you to the ball if you look like that?" Turning to his bodyguard, he told him, "Get her some ice for her face, Kabakura. And some ointment for her throat."

  I continued to stare mutely at him. His gaze landed on my hands and his expression turned into angry disbelief.

  "Wait," he muttered when Kabakura was about to exit. He reached out, fingers closing on my wrist. "You're bleeding. Hell, Terry. What have you done to yourself now? Bring the doctor instead, Kabakura. And make sure no one knows he's here."

  I quickly looked at my hands and saw he was right. Rivulets of blood trailed down my closed fingers, falling into tiny drops onto the bed sheet. Kabakura bowed low to us and hurriedly disappeared out the door. Haru continued to stare at my fist, his face cold and expressionless.

  "What did she mean?" I whispered. It was all my throat could manage.

  His gaze snapped to me. "What?"

  "She said... she said I almost killed you."

  Haru's face went hard, his mouth tightened and his eyes glittered so intensely, I thought he'd slap me.

  "She's sick in the mind," he told me angrily, dropping my hand like it was burning him. "And I'm beginning you are too since you keep disobeying my orders."

  Each word hit me like a blow.

  Each word felt like he was flaying me alive.

  "Don't leave your room," Haru growled. "And don't tell anyone, not even Dad, about what happened."

  Then he turned and prowled to the door.

  Then he was gone.

  A minute passed and my cell phone vibrated on the nightstand. Taking a deep breath, I uncurled my hand. Ignoring the blood, I reached for it and read the message on the display.

  Ignoring the blood, I reached for it and read the message on the display.

  24 hours haven't even passed since we last saw each other yet I miss you already. Call me when you have the time. Love you.

  It was from John.

  Tears burned at the back of my eyes. I returned my now bloody phone to the nightstand and pressed my hands against my chest, right at the spot where the ring was dangling.

  Then I cried.

  I cried so hard that I didn't even make a sound.

  John stared at the dark ceiling with a smile.

  Ten minutes ago, Terry had called him to say she was now in Japan with her father. Her voice sounded tired. It must be from jet-lag and John asked her to rest so she could recover quickly. After reminding him not to party hard and drive drunk, she ended their conversation saying she missed him too.

  She wasn't the type to say such words of affection, which was why she sounded so strained when she said it, and that made him jump up and down like a kid on his bed, pumping his fists silently in the air. It was progress and maybe soon, she'll give him the words of affection he'd always wanted to hear from her sweet lips.

  Now it was the middle of the night. He couldn't sleep. He should have already fallen asleep already what with all the chaos earlier that day.

  Since it was Christmas, his family had a big, lavish dinner with all their relatives who flew in for the event. His British relatives also came, two of which were his aggravating and bratty cousins, Georgina and Eugenie. He'd spent most of the day hiding and getting away from them because they always, always try to make it a contest between them who'd piss him off the most.

  Remembering those things made John exhale angrily and he decided to read some comics to help him fall asleep. He threw the covers back, angled out of bed and was about to move to his book shelf when his cell phone rang.

  Thinking it was Terry, the time difference was shitty, he bent down to retrieve his phone from the night stand. He frowned when picking it up, Skull's name was on the display instead of Terry's.

  "It's the middle of the night, Skull," he answered, his voice curt.

  If this asshole will ask him again to pick him up from whatever place he got so drunk in or started a fight, John decided he wouldn't even think twice and disconnect the call.

  "Did you see Leon today?" Skull asked and John could tell by his voice that Skull was up and on the move.

  John felt a chill slide up his spine as he said, "No. Why?"

  "He didn't contact you?"

  "No. Why are you looking for him?"

  "Didn't you even visit him at all today?"

  John felt it like a punch in the stomach.

  Damn it.

  He forgot to go see him.

  It was Christmas. It was the holidays. He knew what it meant to Leon, knew how he was whenever it was this time of the year. Why the hell did he forgot?

  "No." John's voice sou
nded hoarse and he cleared his throat to talk better. "No, I didn't. What happened, Skull?"

  He heard Skull draw in breath.

  "Skull?" he prompted in a low voice.

  Skull hesitated then said just as quietly, "Leon's missing, John."

  John felt his chest tighten.

  He gripped the phone, his fist tight, as every muscle.

  He clenched his teeth so hard that the pressure made his jaw ache.

  "What do you mean Leon's missing?" he demanded.

  "I'm not a worrier. You know that. This might just be nothing but you should know I'm at his house right now. He went ape shit last night so I tried calling him in the morning to see if he was alright. He never answered so I came here as soon as my grandparent's party was over. I inputted the password when he didn't open the door and he isn't here, John. I even looked in the basement."

  John pawed through his clothes in his closet in the dark and growled, "And?"

  Silence on the other line.

  "What aren't you telling me, Skull?"

  "I found a lot of broken glass in the kitchen," Skull told him in an anxious tone. "There was blood on them."

  John dropped the shirt he was holding. His body went solid and another chill went up his spine.

  "Rohan's blaming himself. He thinks it's his fault."

  "Why would he think it's his fault?" he said through gritted teeth. "Wait. Did you say Leon went ape shit last night?"

  Skull grew quiet.

  Then he said, "Right. You already left."

  "What the fuck happened, Skull?" John exploded.

  "They had a fight. Rohan was pissed because Leon was moping around and he thought it was because of Sophia. So he talked shit and Leon... Leon just snapped."

  Fuck.

  If he didn't sneak out of the party and went to see Terry this shit wouldn't have happened.

  "Since Sophia went away for vacation, he'd returned to what he used to be, John. I know it's because of the holidays but I thought he'd get a better handle on it since he's got her. And I don't know if you've noticed but he's having nightmares again. I heard him shout in his sleep when I went to return his books last weekend."

  "I..." John swallowed and pressed a fist to his forehead. "I didn't know."

  "Why the hell didn't you know? I didn't tell you because I thought you were watching over him. And why did you leave early last night? Actually, what the hell have you been doing that keeps you so damn busy all the fucking time?"

  He couldn't tell him.

  John couldn't tell him that he'd been so caught up with Terry he forgot about Leon.

  "I'll call you back, Skull," John told him, swiping his shirt from the floor.

  "John—"

  "I'm coming there and I'll call you the fuck back when I'm almost there, alright?" he snapped. "Call me if anything happens."

  A hesitant pause. Then, "Fine. I'll wait."

  John disconnected the call.

  Angrily, he stared at his phone for a few seconds before he moved his fingers and found the number he was looking for.

  It only took one ring before his call was picked up.

  "Young master."

  "Leon's missing." John's voice was sharp and impatient. "Find him."

  "Yes, sir."

  He didn't say goodbye, he swung his arm viciously and threw his phone to the wall instead. Then he finished dressing, grabbed the keys to his fastest car and hurriedly went out of the room.

  John should have known.

  His happiness always had a price and he should have fucking known.

  Damn it.

  Where the hell was Leon?

  It was the night of the charity ball.

  I looked at the fading bruises covering my throat in the full-length, freestanding mirror of my hotel room.

  It hurt when I moved my neck and it hurt when I spoke.

  When I had first seen them, I almost burst into tears again. My skin was swollen and looked as though it had been painted with black and blue oil. Haru was so angry when he saw them that he made me stay in my room all day after the doctor left, making me miss the feast. When Dad and my relatives asked about me, he told them I was sick.

  Everyone believed him, of course.

  And they continued to believe I was really sick when I began to lose weight and developed soft blue shadows under my eyes from lack of sleep.

  My eyes moved from my reflection to my scarred hands.

  The lacerations I made on them weren't deep but the doctor gave Haru and Kabakura instructions to make sure they're treated and bandaged everyday. The wounds had already closed and Haru deemed it alright to remove the bandages yesterday.

  I felt my chest compress like a hundred pound weight had settled on it the longer I stared at them and I closed my eyes.

  "Here's your gown, Maam."

  My eyes flew open and I immediately pulled my hair forward to hide the marks from the hotel maid. No one, except Haru and Kabakura knew about them. No one knew about the damage my mother did to me. Hiding them from my family and relatives was easy when I was in Japan. It was winter there so I always wore a scarf around my neck. But now that we were in Texas, where the charity ball was going to be held, it was a daily struggle to hide them.

  My eyes moved from my reflection to the maid. "Leave it on the bed. Then you may go."

  "Yes, Maam."

  When she left, I turned to look at the gown. It was a beautiful, cream-colored high neck gown, with beaded lace appliqués and a split front A-line skirt with a tie sash. I was supposed to wear another but it would reveal my bruises. I was fortunate Miss Annetta included this gown in the new wardrobe she'd made for me.

  It was almost four and the ball would start at seven in the evening. With a sigh, I went inside the bathroom to take a long, soothing bath. And when I got out, a Japanese woman was waiting for me. She was one of Haru's assistants and was tasked to take care of me while we were in Texas. In silence, she helped me with my make-up and hair, and helped me put on the gown. As soon as she was done, she didn't dawdle and left the room.

  She was good, I thought to myself as I assessed myself in the mirror again.

  I almost looked... alive again.

  Tears began to fill my eyes and I blinked rapidly. Quickly turning away, I grabbed my phone from the bureau. John still didn't text me. Nor did he call. The last text he sent me was after I called him on my first day in Japan, telling me he was going to sleep. Since then, not one message came.

  I tried to fight the uneasiness building up.

  Maybe he misplaced his phone somewhere.

  Maybe his phone was broken.

  Or maybe he was too busy going on vacations with his family.

  But I was getting tired of justifying his lapses.

  I needed him to be here.

  I needed to see him.

  I needed him.

  If he won't come today, it was over.

  On this thought, my eyes welled with tears again. I closed my eyes tight and I pulled in a deep breath, trying not to think about it anymore.

  Because he'd definitely come.

  He promised.

  Then Haru came to pick me up for the party and I didn't have a chance to think about him anymore.

  "Drive carefully, alright?" John told Leon as his best friend swung a leg over his motorcycle. "And it's getting dark so don't drive too fast."

  "Stop nagging, John," Leon muttered irritably, pulling his helmet on. "And go home."

  John leaned an arm against the handle. "I will when you stop doing stupid shit," he returned jokingly. "Are you sure you really don't want me to come with you? And are you sure you don't want to use your car?"

  "I'm sure. Now get off my bike."

  Chuckling, John pushed off and Leon gave him a scowl before he turned the ignition switch on. John stood out there in the cold and in the dark, waving at him as he drove off. His smile dropped when Leon was out of sight and immediately, he turned to go to his truck

  John didn't like
the idea of letting Leon go alone. And he definitely didn't like the idea of him going when he had just gotten well. He had no choice however. He couldn't keep Leon from visiting his mother's grave. Didn't have the heart to do it.