Three Hours : A Novel (2020)

by Lupton, Rosamund

  ‘Her surname?’

  ‘Jensten.’

  ‘Did Sarah and her parents want him gone?’

  ‘No, they believed him. He wrote to them, to Sarah and her parents, to apologize for any upset he might have caused. I saw the letters. He was genuinely sorry.’

  ‘But he was still expelled?’

  ‘No. Matthew let him stay on condition that Olav Christoffersen, head of IT, had daily access to his laptop and his tutor could conduct random searches of his study area. Victor said he understood. Most of us thought Matthew was being too harsh, all teenagers have things on their laptops they’d rather keep hidden, but Matthew said he was being careful.’

  ‘And then?’

  ‘I don’t know. Matthew didn’t talk to us about the expulsion. It was the summer term so we were frantically busy, focusing on our GCSE and A-level students, too busy to pursue Matthew about it. But what if Olav found something on Victor’s laptop? What if that’s why he was expelled?’

  ‘Did Olav Christoffersen say anything?’

  ‘No, but he wouldn’t. Olav’s very circumspect, never gossips. And like I said, we were all really busy so we just accepted the decision and got on with our jobs.’

  ‘Do you know if Victor is friends with Malin Cohen?’

  ‘They live close to each other, but I didn’t think they were friends. Victor’s off-the-chart bright, Malin struggles academically. But I suppose it makes sense. If any of this makes sense, Christ. Malin’s a thug. Always has been. An uncontrollable temper.’

  This corroborates what other teachers have told them.

  ‘Is there anything that’s happened recently that’s been strange, even a small thing?’

  ‘Well, there was something, I suppose, but it was three months ago now.’

  ‘Can you tell me?’

  ‘One of the gardeners saw a man outside a maintenance shed. There’s a tractor and trailer, tools, that kind of thing. But nothing was stolen.’

  ‘Is the gardener here today?’

  ‘No, he works part-time in the winter.’

  ‘Did he say what this man looked like?’

  ‘No, I think he just saw his back. It was in the school holidays, so not a student. But like I said, nothing was stolen so we didn’t take it any further.’

  ‘Where is the maintenance shed?’

  ‘Just off the drive in the woods, near the high ropes course.’

  ‘Is there anything else you can think of at all?’

  ‘Just some silly pranks. In the last few weeks, someone cling-filmed the stools together in the science labs; someone put glow-in-the-dark slime inside the girls’ toilets in the art block; someone rang Old School’s doorbell really loudly and then ran away again before we could see who it was. That’s all.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  She ends the call.

  ‘Sarah Jensten was evacuated from New School,’ Thandie tells Rose.

  So, if it’s Victor Deakin and he’s aiming the attack at Sarah Jensten, then he’s been extremely careless. But Neil Forbright told them that Victor didn’t want to be at this school in the first place, so there’s no obvious reason for him to have a personal grudge against the school.

  ‘We need to talk to the school’s head of IT, Olav Christoffersen, as soon as possible,’ she tells George.

  ‘A junior school teacher just phoned in from one of the boats,’ Amaal says.

  ‘Are they okay?’ Rose asks.

  ‘Reception’s terrible. They’re getting the teacher to text.’

  * * *

  In The Pines Leisure Centre cafeteria, Steve, the energetic young man, is shouting into his mobile phone: ‘Can you hear me …?! Chloe …?’ Beth Alton imagines the noise of the sea and the wind, a young teacher straining to hear her fiancé’s voice.

  You know, Jamie, I don’t mind that you didn’t talk to me about Antonella.

  Mum …

  You’re seventeen and boys of seventeen don’t talk about those kind of things with their mothers.

  He’s growing up, growing away, and she’s been trying to hold on to him, holding him back, she realizes, trying to make him her little boy again. Perhaps it’s because he’s her younger child, she wasn’t like this with Theo. But Jamie should grow up; that’s the right and natural order of things. He should grow up.

  She sees Antonella’s mother on her own. Her friend with painted nails must’ve gone to the loo but won’t take long; will dash into a cubicle, not locking the door, not washing her hands, doing up her zip with one hand as she runs back, other hand holding her phone, suddenly hopeful of news in the few minutes she’s been absent.

  Beth goes over to her. ‘I didn’t know whether to come and say hello. I’m Jamie’s mother, Beth. Beth Alton.’

  Antonella’s mother doesn’t smile; no one smiles in this room, no social niceties here, but she doesn’t react at all.

  ‘Jamie Alton is my son.’

  Antonella’s mother looks perplexed. ‘I don’t know anyone called Jamie.’

  Did Antonella keep you a secret from her mother like you kept Antonella a secret from me?

  But teenage girls talk to their mothers; especially pretty mothers with long glossy hair and nails.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ the woman says. ‘But I really don’t know your son.’

  Does Antonella do this to you? Pretend you don’t even exist any more? Is that why you’ve been so unhappy?

  ‘Jamie was Antonella’s boyfriend for three months, up until the end of June.’

  There, putting it down on the table, so she can’t look away from it, can’t look away from Jamie.

  ‘Her boyfriend is Tim Makeston,’ the woman says. ‘Has been for two years.’

  I don’t understand, Jamie …? In your diary …

  You thought it was real. Antonella and me. I never said it was real. It wasn’t meant for anyone else to read.

  So, it was a fantasy.

  That sounds porny and it wasn’t.

  All those beautiful drawings; more of a dream.

  No, it wasn’t, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.

  He’s been lonelier than she thought; the sharp cutting of unrequited love in so many hidden ways. And now he’s hiding alone, most probably terrified, without even remembered love to comfort him.

  There’ll be someone else, sweetheart. When you go off to university there’ll be so many lovely girls, and you’ll fall in love again, with someone who’ll love you back.

  Yesterday, this morning even, she’d have felt jealous, threatened, by such an imaginary girl. She’d had no idea then of the love she had for Jamie, had assumed it was possessive, grasping, but the make-up of her love is not like that at all.

  Antonella’s mother is leaning closer towards her, two mothers sharing a confidence. In a minute, she will put her manicured hand round Beth’s garden-rough one.

  ‘Maybe your son just had a crush on her. I know lots of the boys do.’

  Not boasting, but giving an explanation for Jamie, perhaps understanding his vulnerability. She’s kind. Is her daughter kind? Beth thinks probably not, because what teenage girl with lots of boys who have crushes on her is kind?

  ‘Her boyfriend, Tim, isn’t that special. I really don’t know what she sees in him.’

  As if she is softening the blow and if it were up to her she’d choose someone different, Jamie perhaps, for Antonella.

  ‘Tim’s the reason she is in the theatre and not evacuated,’ she says. ‘She doesn’t even like acting.’

  Was it because of Antonella that Jamie wanted to be part of the production? A beggar-my-neighbour game – Jamie there because of Antonella, Antonella there because of not-very-special Tim.

  Zac and Victor were in it too, Mum. My two best mates, remember?

  Yes, sorry.

  Didn’t know Zac would get a Velcro-girlfriend and Victor would leave, did I?

  You must’ve felt lonely after that.

  Must be exhausting, Mum, being in a paddy about me all the time. />
  I’m not, but—

  I’m not a complete loser all the time, you know.

  Of course you aren’t. I never thought that. And you carried on, didn’t you? You didn’t give up.

  Exactly. I’m a trooper. And what about my A levels? My party?

  In his bedroom above his desk is a piece of paper pinned to the wall with ‘100%’ written in his beautiful calligraphy and she’d been both heartened at his ambition for his A levels and worried that he’d fall short, because though some kids do get 100 per cent in their A levels they work far harder and are cleverer than Jamie; she’s feared disappointment, sadness. Next to it, an elaborately drawn ‘18’, although his eighteenth birthday is almost a year away and she’s been worried about that too, that his imagination would outstrip whatever party he gave. Or maybe she didn’t want to think about him becoming an adult before she had to. Mike had been irritated with her for not seeing the positive.

  As if parties and grades matter now, as if anything matters now apart from him being alive and safe and able to live the rest of his life.

  Steve has put down his mobile and is speaking too fast, a shake in his voice, as if his fiancée’s feelings have physically transferred themselves to him.

  ‘A little boy in her group is missing. He didn’t get on to any of the boats. Chloe thought his form teacher, Mrs Cardswell, had him, but his form teacher thought Chloe was looking after him. It wasn’t her fault, I kept telling her that; a girl had an asthma attack and—’

  ‘What boy?’

  ‘Which class?’

  ‘In Chloe Price’s class?’

  ‘Is the girl all right? The one that had an asthma attack?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You’re certain it’s a boy?’

  ‘Do you know his name?’

  ‘Basi Bukhari,’ Steve says.

  ‘Oh, thank God. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.’

  * * *

  In the shed, eight-year-old Basi Bukhari is standing because it’s less cold than sitting on the floor, which is all damp and icy, but his legs are getting wobbly with being tired and frightened. His hands and ears sting with cold. He tries to pull his sleeves over his hands but they’re too short, so he hunches his shoulders together so the sleeves will reach.

  When they all got to the beach it was freezing, the wind picking up the icy cold of the sea and throwing it at their faces and hands and any part of them where their clothes had got untucked.

  Rafi was looking at Miss Kowalski’s phone, with other teachers looking at it too, but he was just listening to the sea shouting that it had monsters inside it – Wa-hush, Wa-hush, Wa-hush!

  Sometimes it pretends to be blue and friendly but it drowns people.

  Rafi put a life jacket on him and they joked about the piñata in the shop in Alexandria and he thought it would all be okay because Rafi was with him and it was okay if Rafi was with him.

  He told Rafi he needed to put on a life jacket too, but Rafi didn’t say anything and he didn’t want Rafi to say the next thing, because he knew it would be a bad thing. He said he didn’t want to play any more, though he knew, really, that they weren’t playing. And then they argued, Rafi saying he’d be safe and him saying he needed Rafi to come with him, so it wasn’t a real argument, just him trying to stop Rafi leaving him. Rafi has never left him.

  ‘But they’re shouting at me, the monsters, Wa-hush, Wa-hush, listen! Can you hear? It’s even worse than a hole!’

  ‘Remember the princess in Milan, Basi? Do you remember her face?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘She was in the station, remember?’

  ‘We pretended the station was a palace,’ he said because maybe if he kept Rafi talking he wouldn’t leave.

  ‘Romanesque,’ Rafi said because he is going to be an architect when he’s older, like Mama, and knows the names of everything. ‘With a piazza and columns and friezes.’

  ‘And there were benches made of marble.’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘But we had to go into the bit that had ropes around it. The migrant bit.’

  ‘And when people went past I told you to watch out for their briefcases,’ Rafi said. ‘Because you were at the edge and they could bash into your head.’

  ‘I thought you said “brief faces” not “briefcases”!’

  ‘That was brilliant of you, because that’s what they were like; lots of brief faces. And then the princess stopped.’

  ‘We don’t know for sure she was a princess.’

  ‘I think that she was.’

  ‘Me too,’ Basi said, because she probably really was, and he was only arguing before because he wanted to keep Rafi talking.

  ‘And she gave us money,’ Rafi said. ‘So we could buy new clothes and train tickets. Do you remember what you got?’

  ‘Blue trousers and a shirt with cowboys on it from the shop in the station.’

  ‘Zara Kids,’ Rafi said.

  ‘And lots of pants and socks.’

  ‘We had a good wash and we got changed.’

  ‘And we put our old clothes in the bin,’ Basi said, ‘because they were really smelly and horrible.’

  ‘We looked so smart and smelt so nice that no one thought we were migrants any more.’

  ‘Two princes out for a stroll together.’

  ‘A couple of regular brothers having a latte together.’

  ‘You had the latte and I had the choco frappuccino,’ Basi reminded him.

  ‘That’s right. Remember her face?’

  ‘Course.’

  *

  In the shed, Basi thinks Ratty is making scuffly noises, telling Basi he’s there with him.

  ‘Her eyes were bright blue, Ratty, and her skin was like caramel, and so was her hair, like a princess; like the station was her palace. Her face was all shiny with tears and she said she was sorry but I don’t know why she said that.’

  And then after he and Rafi had spoken on the beach about the princess in Milan station, he’d felt a bit calmer, and Rafi must have thought that meant he was all right because he took him to Miss Price. And they spoke really quietly so all he could hear was the sea shouting. Miss Price held his hand but he tried to pull away and still be with Rafi. Then Rafi said, ‘It’s a Have-To-No-Arguments, okay?’

  Rafi had only said ‘It’s a Have-To-No-Arguments’ twice on the Journey. Have-To-No-Arguments means Rafi is talking for Baba and Mama.

  Basi nodded but that can mean you understand, not that you agree. Mr Lorrimer says he is a slippery character. And he thinks he was being slippery then.

  Rafi kissed him.

  ‘You are as brave as a Barbary lion,’ Rafi said. ‘And a Bengal tiger.’

  ‘Brave as Sir Lancelot,’ Basi said. ‘And the little mouse in The Gruffalo.’ If he could just keep thinking of more brave people and animals, on and on, Rafi wouldn’t leave him.

  ‘Brave as Odysseus,’ Rafi said. Basi tried to think of another brave person or animal, but he was being too slow.

  ‘Brave as Basi Bukhari,’ Rafi said. ‘I love you, Little Monkey.’

  Then he turned and ran back to the cliff path.

  Miss Price held his hand and asked if he’d like to stay with her or go and be with Mrs Cardswell and all his friends. And he thinks he said he’d like to be with his friends, or maybe he didn’t say anything, because he was listening to the sea shouting at him.

  And then Miss Price took her hand away from his because Milly was wheezing, like she couldn’t breathe properly. She took off Milly’s life jacket to check her coat pockets for her puffer. His hand felt lonely and afraid.

  Wa-hush, Wa-hush, Wa-hush.

  Miss Price called to the teachers, ‘Does anyone have Ventolin?’ But the wind and the sea were too noisy and then Miss Price shouted, ‘A CHILD NEEDS VENTOLIN!’

  Wa-hush, Wa-hush, Wa-hush.

  People falling from the boat and the monsters in the sea holding on to them and pulling them deeper and deeper and not letting them back to the ai
r. A little girl fell in wearing armbands, and her mama and baba both jumped in after her and they drowned as well. Rafi held on to him, really tightly, and didn’t let him go. When people were pushing hard and he thought he was going to fall into the sea, Rafi held on to him.

  Wa-hush, Wa-hush, Wa-hush.

  He could see Rafi walking quickly up the cliff path.

  He ran after him but nobody noticed because they were all helping Milly.

  The cliff path was slippery and he was worried about so many things. He was worried about Miss Price being cross with him for running away and not telling her first. She’d never been cross before but she’d never shouted before either. Maybe she wouldn’t even know, because everyone else in his class was with Mrs Cardswell, their form teacher, and she probably thought he was with Mrs Cardswell too. And he was worried about Milly, but then he remembered that Lucas always has an inhaler in his coat pocket, and one in his trousers pocket too, because his mother says she’s a worrywart, so Lucas would give Milly his inhaler. Mostly he was worried about catching up with Rafi, because he was going as fast as he could, faster than he’d ever run before, but Rafi was running too, and getting smaller and smaller. He shouted at him but the wind just stole his words away before they got to Rafi.

  He got a stitch in his side and it was hard to run in the life jacket, because he couldn’t move his arms very well. The snow was blowing against his face, the cold was biting his cheeks and the trees by the path were all twisted and bent over because the wind had hit them so much.

  He got to the gate and had to climb it because it was locked. It was covered in snow and ice and his feet kept slipping and his life jacket made him clumsy and his stitch really hurt. From the gate, he saw a light on inside Junior School and he thought that Rafi might be inside.

  He ran towards Junior School across the slippery car park, past all the teachers’ cars which had snow over them and looked like snow cars. Through his classroom window he could see Rafi! He knew Basi would be frightened of the sea so he’d waited for him!

  He ran towards Rafi but when he got closer to the window he saw the man inside was much taller than Rafi. The man’s back was towards him, so he couldn’t see his face. He had a big gun and belts of bullets and at any second he might turn round and see Basi looking at him through the window. He imagined Rafi saying to him, Duck down and keep still, Basi, still as a statue, then find somewhere to hide.