“You are willing to give up everything for me?” he asked in disbelief when he could finally stand still.
Carrie laughed. “To be perfectly honest, and I don’t know that I should have been, I don’t know if I could have given it up, but I found I didn’t want it anymore. Maybe I never did. Maybe I just thought I did because I was so unhappy. When I saw how the other women were content to act like China dolls, I wanted to scream and rebel. I could never live like that again, but I know you won’t ask me to. You want to protect me too much and I expect there’ll be times when I want to do something you’ll disapprove of, but Lucas, I’d rather fight with you over anything, no matter how trivial, then live without you and have all the independence in the world.”
Lucas’s heart was so full he couldn’t speak. That Carrie should be willing to give up everything she had worked for because of him filled him with wonder and amazement. What could he offer her in return for her sacrifice?
It seems odd that you should have asked yourself almost the exact same question I asked myself,” Lucas said.
Carrie looked up into his eyes, and the look of utter happiness and contentment told him he didn’t have to do anything, that she would accept him just as he was now, but he couldn’t do that. She deserved more.
“I asked myself what would I have in twenty years if I devoted all my time to the company, and it didn’t take me long to realize that I would be missing what I told you I wanted, what you told me I wanted from a home, the people who were there. I thought of my sons as little boys, doing all the things I was unable to do and my missing that part of their lives because I was at a board meeting or on a trip. I thought of my daughters becoming young women and finding young men they wanted to marry, but most of all, I thought of you and all the moments when the magic that is you makes something so very special out of something so ordinary. I love to look at you because you are beautiful, I want to make love to you because it’s wonderful beyond any-thing I ever imagined, but I would lose so much more if I couldn’t share all those ordinary hours in your life. I made up my mind I wouldn’t miss them.”
“But you can’t give up your company. I don’t want you to do that for me.”
“I don’t mean to give it up,” Lucas said, “but I won’t let it become the only thing in my life as Uncle Max did. There are plenty of men who can run a company just as well as I can. And I can’t think of a better use of money than to have the time to be able to spend with you.”
“You really mean it? You’re not saying pretty things like my brothers did to their wives, and then they ended up going back to things just as they always were?”
“I really mean it. I’m sure there’ll be plenty of times when you don’t think I’m living up to my bargain. You tell me, and I promise something will change.”
“But that’s your life’s work.”
“Yes, but it’s not my life. I want you to solemnly promise to warn me if I ever start to forget that. I don’t want to die like Uncle Max, regretting people I never got to know, regretting a life I never had time to live.”
There was no rush to their lovemaking that evening, no hurry, no sense of urgency, only a gradual realization that they could look forward to sharing the pleasure of their bodies with each other for the rest of their lives. They undressed each other in silence in the soft light of the lantern. Carrie finally gathered the courage to gaze openly at Lucas’s body, to take in the beauty of his carefully sculpted legs and thighs, the tightly muscled derriere that had long excited her senses, the powerful chest and shoulders that gave her such an electrifying sense of strength and security.
But it was his handsome face, above all, that gave her the satisfaction and the sense of being wonderfully blessed, for in his face resided the person she had fallen in love with. The silver-gray eyes that could snap closed like a shutter to his mind or caress her like liquid moonlight; the soft, dark brown hair perpetually in boyish disarray that made her long to take him in her arms and brush it back from his brow; his soft, gentle lips that smiled when he was happy and roused her body to such wanton desire; his firm jaw, lean cheeks, long straight nose, and thick brows that imparted an immediate awareness that he was a man of immovable principle and unwavering support—it was this face that laughed, scolded, invited, cajoled, that had become the focus of her life, and she could not gaze upon it enough.
But the fire Lucas had painstakingly lighted in her body and was just as carefully building into a conflagration soon claimed her attention, and his beloved features became a mirror of the passion that swept through her, turning her into a pool of distilled desire. Lucas carefully and methodically stoked the fires in her body until she was aware of nothing but her own pleading need and the hot, rigid, masculine body which was its only answer.
Their joining was slowly achieved, but the electricity that arced through her body, making every inch of her sensitive to the touch of Lucas’s fingers, lips, and tongue, was augmented rather than diminished by this deliberate assault on her senses. Carrie felt herself losing touch with reality, floating off on wave after wave of thundering desire until she was immersed in a sea of sweet ecstasy and then washed up on the shore of utter fulfillment.
Even before Carrie opened her eyes, even before her mind had come to grips with consciousness, she felt wrapped in a cocoon of happiness. There was warmth, comfort, and a feeling of contentment. She opened her eyes and they fell on Lucas. He lay sleeping next to her, his sheet thrown off to reveal the upper part of his muscled body, his hair mussed by their passionate lovemaking. She smiled and started to ease herself gently out of the bed. She didn’t want to wake him. He was sleeping heavily, still tired from his nights of sitting with his uncle and his long ride back. His hand reached out and pulled her down next to him.
“I thought you were asleep” she said as her fingertips brushed the lashes of his still closed eyes.
“A man who sleeps too soundly can’t tell when danger approaches.”
“Well, you’re not sleeping outside in some canyon, and I’m not a wild beast.”
“You seemed pretty wild to me last night,” he mumbled, enjoying the warmth of her body. “Growl for me again.”
“Stop it,” Carrie said, giggling guiltily. “I don’t growl, and I didn’t last night either”
“Must have been me I heard.” Lucas growled in her ear. “Does that sound familiar?”
“Yes,” she said, unable to keep from laughing. “I heard it so often I drought I was in the middle of a dogfight.”
“Dogfight!” Lucas exclaimed, erupting from the bed like Neptune from the sea. “Is that how you value my caresses, woman?”
“Come here, and I’ll show you how I value your caresses.” The invitation was unmistakable. Lucas lowered his head and Carrie encircled his neck with her arms. She pulled him down until their breath mingled in the sliver of space between them.
“Careful. You never can tell what will happen if I get too much appreciation.”
“Do you dare me to find out?” Carrie challenged, a twinkle in her eye.
“Yes,” Lucas said, nibbling at her lip. “I dare you to kiss me as you did last night. I dare you to touch me as you did, and I dare you to respond as you did.”
Their lips met in a kiss that turned hot and then fiercely passionate. Carrie felt her body suddenly become flushed with excitement, her limbs rigid with expectation. Lucas had rolled over on his back and pulled her down to him, crushing her breasts against his chest. Suddenly she felt no inhibitions at all, just a terribly fierce longing to lose herself in Lucas. She pressed against him, as though willing her body to become part of his, her lips as hungry as his, her body crying out its need just as loudly.
Abruptly Lucas rolled over and laid her down and his body pinned hers against the mattress. Their arms wrapped around each other, their limbs entwined, their mouths sought to draw the very essence from each other.
Suddenly Carrie could stand it no more, and she opened her legs to Lucas, inviting hi
m to join with her, to plunge into her very depths and quench the fire that flamed there. Carrie had no time to wonder how after last night there could be an unsatisfied nerve in her entire body; she only had time to realize that all of her was crying out with a deep, unquenched need, and it was a need that only Lucas could satisfy.
Carrie’s body shuddered with spasms of aching pleasure when she felt Lucas enter her, slowly, deliberately sinking deep into her heated welcome. She arched toward him, drawing him further inward, urging him to reach down and down until he reached the craving that was turning her body into a crazed thing. Suddenly he began to withdraw, and she frantically wrapped her limbs around him, trying to force him to plunge deeper, but he continued to withdraw until she nearly screamed in frustration. Then without warning, he drove deep inside, forcing a moan of pure ecstasy from between her lips. Then he withdrew again, maddeningly slowly, only to plunge deep within her once more. Lucas repeated this until Carrie thought she could bear it no longer.
Then Lucas shifted the rhythm, driving deeply within her in rapid, powerful strokes. Within seconds Carrie was near the edge, ready to swoon with pleasure, then Lucas changed again, slowing down just enough to prolong the pleasure agonizing moments longer. Carrie was sure she could not stand it and fought against him, but he would not be hurried and she could only cling to him, trying desperately to hold on to her sanity as she was driven closer and closer to the edge of an abyss when her body would explode with delight.
Then just as she sensed that Lucas, too, was about to lose control, a flood of sensations swept over Carrie, and she felt the most indescribable ecstasy explode throughout her body. Swept by a wave of pleasure, she felt Lucas explode within her and felt him ding to her. For a few moments, they dung to each other, their bodies as hard and unbending as stone, then they collapsed in sheer exhaustion.
“Is it always like this?” Carrie asked after several minutes.
“It is with you.”
“How can we endure it?”
“I don’t know. I wonder if I can again, but then I gather you into my arms and I know I can’t live without it.”
“That’s how I fed too,” Carrie said, a lazy smile spreading across her face. “I guess well have to have separate beds.”
“I’ll sleep in yours.”
“In separate rooms.”
“I’d sneak in after everyone had gone to bed.”
“On separate floors.”
“I’d climb down the drainpipe.”
“In separate houses.”
“Fd follow you through the streets.”
“Then I guess there’s nothing for it but to share your bed. Denver society would never recover from the sight of you chasing me through the streets in your wherewithal.”
“You don’t mind moving to Denver?”
“Not as long as you’re there. I never have lived in a big town.”
“It’s not much of a town yet, but it’s growing fast, and it’s going to become the center of the railroad industry.”
“When do you have to go back?”
“Not until the gold shipment goes through. I either have to find those thieves before then, or make sure they don’t take it off the stage this time.”
Carrie sat up in the bed, alarm setting her features into an appearance of bravery she did not feel. “I don’t want you to go after those men. It’s not safe. They might try to kill you.”
“They most certainly will try to kill me if they think I might keep them from getting the gold,” Lucas replied with what Carrie thought was a callous indifference to her fears for his safety. “Jason is not going to give up just because we want him to. Also, I don’t think he has spent the gold from the first shipment. I think it’s hidden somewhere near here, and he doesn’t mean to divide it up until he’s robbed his last stage.”
“I still don’t want you to go after him,” Carrie said, fear unexpectedly freezing the warmth out of the morning. “I don’t care if he takes all the gold in Colorado as long as you’re safe.”
“I’m glad you think I’m so wonderful, but you’re the only one who thinks I’m worth my weight in gold. The rest of Colorado is more likely to look for someone else to transport their gold if I don’t get out there and stop Jason Staples. I’ve got to try to find him before the shipment goes out.”
“Can’t you send someone else?” Carrie pleaded. “I know there are men you can hire to do things like this.”
“There isn’t time,” Lucas explained. “The stage comes through tomorrow. There wouldn’t be time to send for anyone from Denver, and certainly not to bring in the kind of professional gunmen you’re talking about.”
“Are you going to put me through this kind of agony for the rest of my life? Do you really expect me to sit home waiting to hear some common criminal has shot you and left your body for the wild beasts to tear apart?” Lucas had never seen Carrie so distraught, and he tried to allay her fears.
“I promise I will always hire professionals to investigate the robberies after this. I volunteered this time because I’m certain there’s someone inside the company selling information. There is no other way Jason Staples could be privy to our shipping dates. It’s almost more important that I catch the informant than the thief.”
“Then offer a reward.”
“I can’t offer a reward bigger than the gold shipment, or bigger than all the future shipments Staples may hope to steal. No, I have to see if I can get close enough to their camp to overhear them. Maybe they will mention the man’s name. If not, I’ll just have to hope I can force one of the gang to divulge it after I capture them.”
“You can’t capture a whole gang by yourself. That’s incredible.”
“I’m not going to try. I expect them to attack the stage somewhere between here and the next station, and I’ve brought some men from Denver whom I will position along the road. As the stage passes, they have instructions to follow behind, close enough to be able to help, but far enough back not to be seen.”
“Then you’re not going to be out there alone?”
“Where I’ll be depends on what I learn tonight”
“Tonight!” Carrie exclaimed. “Why can’t you sell the stage company? You could become a rancher, a mine owner, anything.”
“It wouldn’t matter. It’s the same all over the West, no matter what you do. This is a new country, and there are men out here like myself who want to build something out of this land. There are also men who are determined to take anything they can.”
“Then we can move back East,” Carrie said. “I will not endure a life where you and my children will be hemmed aabout by thieves and killers.”
“Your children will be safe. It’s just your husband who will have to contend with thieves and killers.”
“That’s all the more reason to move back East, at least until all this wildness is over and the men are all in jail.”
“By then the opportunity will have passed.”
“I told you I didn’t have to be rich.”
“I know, but this isn’t about riches, and you know it. It’s about making something, about building part of this wonderful land of ours, and you know I can’t go back.”
“Why not? It’s stupid to throw yourself in the way of bullets for an ideal.”
“Isn’t that what Robert and your brothers did?”
“And look what it got them. So many fine men killed and everything ruined.”
“They died for the wrong ideal, but everyone respects them for having the courage to stand up and fight for what they believed. What we have here is good and right, and I can no more turn my back and run and still be respected than you can turn around and go back to Virginia. I may be killed, but even the outlaw who shoots me will respect me. If I turn and run, even the lowest scum will think himself worth more than I am, and the honest citizens won’t care who shoots me. I can’t go.”
“Yes you can,” Carrie pleaded. “I don’t care what anybody else thinks. I’d rather have you a
live than some dead hero.”
“I don’t care what anybody else thinks either, but I care what I think, and I care even more what you would think.”
“Me!” she almost squeaked. “I want you to go back East.”
“Do you really? Do you think a woman who came out here alone, not knowing what she would face, but willing to face Baca Riggins even after she had seen him, do you think this same woman would respect and love a man who would run away when some thief tried to take what was bis?”
“I wouldn’t care as long as you were safe.”
“Do you think she could love a man who wouldn’t protect his property? How could she know he would protect her, her children, and their right to a full and happy life? I don’t think she could. She might try if she loved the man a great deal, but deep inside there would be disappointment and scorn. And the man would know it.”
Lucas was right, and Carrie knew it. He didn’t have to do the job himself. He could have hired someone to do it, but having taken it on, he could not now refuse to follow it through to the end. It’s what she would have done herself, and she knew it was what Lucas would do, what he had to do.
She suddenly held him tight. “I’m afraid,” she said. “It’s one thing to face men of honor, but it’s not the same with thieves.”
“It’s easier. Men of honor are willing to die for what they believe. Thieves only want what they can take without danger to themselves”
“You promise to be careful? I don’t think I could live without you.”
“I promise to be very careful. “I’m rather fond of you myself. It wouldn’t take much persuading to keep me lying here forever.” He ran a hand down Carrie’s side and she felt her whole body shiver involuntarily.
“If I thought it would keep you here, I would wrap myself around you and never let go.”
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