Realization three years too late, asshole.
He cleared his throat as he approached. “I’m all set.”
Grady pouted. “Don’t take the baby from me. I love the baby.”
Devan chuckled. “I’ll add you to the list of potential babysitters.”
“Oh, maybe I can get Max to come too. We should totally have a kid to spoil.” Grady’s grin widened. “Poor Max.”
Eli shook his head and picked the diaper bag and car seat off the floor where Devan had set them. “We better head out.”
Devan took Matthew, and they waved to the group as they left. Eli didn’t say anything until they were half a block from the gym. “Sorry about pulling away in there.”
“It’s fine. I forgot for a second that not everyone knows. I’ve gotten used to being closer to you there . . . physically . . . I mean because of the training.” Devan huffed. “I’ll keep my distance.”
“I don’t mind.” He really didn’t. Seeing Devan and Matthew had brought him unexpected joy. He should have smiled, laughed, scooped Matthew up and spun him around the way Grady had. But that fear of screwing up again, of knowing he wasn’t the type of man who Devan needed as a partner, was enough to quash all of those emotions.
“Still, I’ll be more careful next time.”
“My car is over here.” It only took Devan a few minutes to install the car seat in the back. Eli held Matthew as he watched. This was the life he’d given up, this normalcy that he’d never truly had as a kid. Matthew reached up and grabbed his nose. Eli stuck his tongue out, which drew another giggle.
“All set.” Devan started to reach for Matthew and stopped. “Want to do it?”
“Sure.” He set Matthew into the seat, but was momentarily confused by the buckles. “Shit, there’s a lot of them.”
“Keeps him safe.”
It took a minute, but Eli eventually figured it out. “There you go.”
Matthew stuck his tongue out in agreement.
When he stood up and closed the door, Devan was looking at him, grinning. “Not bad for a rookie.” In a blink, he leaned up and placed a kiss on Eli’s cheek. “That’s what I wanted to do back at the gym.”
That was a tease, something that Eli could handle. With a quick look around to make sure no one was paying attention to them, he cupped the back of Devan’s head and kissed him. It wasn’t as frantic as what they’d shared in Devan’s apartment the other night, but Eli poured every drop of longing into it.
Devan’s breath caught, and the look in his eyes was more than enough to reassure Eli that the feeling was mutual. “What was that for?”
“That’s what I wanted to do back at the gym.” He pressed his body against Devan. “I’m sorry I couldn’t.”
Devan looked away. “I wouldn’t want you to get into trouble.”
“I don’t care. It was worth it.” Eli took his hand. “Let me get you two home so we can do this test.”
Devan nodded and got into the car. “What are we going to do once we know?”
“I’m not sure.” But he had a few days to figure it out.
Devan put Matthew in his highchair and set the bowl of baby cereal in front of him. It had been a few days since he’d last seen Eli, since they’d taken a cheek swab and provided samples for the lab to test. Devan had taken the kit into the clinic and paid the fee on his way to work the next morning. The results should be in on Tuesday, which only gave him a few more days to ponder what exactly knowing who Matthew’s biological father was would mean.
Eli kept insisting that he had no intention of trying to take Matthew from him. He simply wanted to know if he was the father. Devan believed him, but that didn’t make this process any less nerve-racking. If it turned out that Eli was Matthew’s biological parent, Devan had to make a decision whether he wanted to offer Eli a place in their lives or not.
After thinking about their time together, about Eli babysitting, their workout sessions, for the first time since Eli had materialized back into his life, Devan had hope that maybe things might work out between them. It really wouldn’t be that bad if Eli was around, able to spend time with Matthew. He’d clearly become quite taken with Matthew, which was something Devan wouldn’t have ever guessed.
Matthew was being surprisingly cooperative this morning, eating most of his breakfast while making minimal mess. Devan was happy to have today off from work. Friday mornings when he was around, he’d take Matthew to the Stars and Strollers movie morning. There were a few good movies out, and it was the only way he normally got to see anything.
“Okay, dude. Time to get you changed, and then we can go.”
He was nearly finished packing up the diaper bag when there was a knock on his door. No one had buzzed up, which meant it was probably one of his neighbors, or possibly the superintendent. “Just a second.”
Devan knew better than to open the door without checking who it was. But he’d been so fixated on leaving that he didn’t think. “Hello?”
The man who stood there didn’t look familiar, which meant someone had either buzzed him into the building without knowing who it was, or he’d snuck in. He wore a ball hat, jeans, and a heavy leather jacket. He was a few inches shorter than Devan, but appeared to be far more muscular. “Hi. You live here, yes?”
“May I ask what this is about?”
“Sorry. My name is Jason Earl. I saw you down at Ringside the other day with Eli McGovern.”
God, this guy was a groupie. “I’m sorry, whatever it is you want, I can’t help you.”
“That’s fine, I don’t actually need anything. I wanted to confirm that you’re the man who was at the gym the other day. The one with the baby.” There was something about the way Jason spoke that set alarms off in Devan’s head.
“You need to leave. This is a secure building, and I’m going to call the building supervisor.”
He tried to shut the door, but Jason put his foot in the way. “I was curious who you are to Eli. Friend? Family? Boyfriend? Lover? Is the baby Eli’s?”
Devan opened the door wide enough to give him some momentum for when he slammed it against Jason’s foot. Jason winced in pain and pulled away, giving Devan the opportunity to shut the door before Jason could say anything else.
Shit, this was bad. Who the hell would go to all the trouble to track him down and ask these questions? He played over in his mind everything that had happened between them at the gym, but as far as he knew, no one would have suspected that they were anything more than friends.
Clearly, they hadn’t been as careful as he’d assumed.
Matthew was still in his highchair, banging Mr. Fuzzy against his tray. “Baby, I think we’re going to have to skip movie morning.”
Matthew didn’t seem at all concerned.
Instead, Devan grabbed his cell and texted Eli. I think we might have a problem.
Eli was in the middle of training with Andrew when Zack came over to the ring. “Hey, I need you for a second.”
Andrew glared at Zack, his black hair sweaty from their workout. “This is why you should be in Montreal. Too many interruptions.”
Zack threw Andrew a glare of his own. “If this wasn’t an emergency, then I wouldn’t have interrupted.” He then turned his gaze to Eli. “We should talk in my office.”
Eli nodded, grabbed a towel, and wiped down. “Give me a few. I’m sure this won’t take long.”
Instead of the berating from Zack that he’d half expected, he was shocked to see Nolan pacing in the office. “I can’t believe this happened.”
Eli looked between them. “What’s going on?”
Nolan glanced at Zack, who nodded. “You tell him.”
“Tell me what?” There was nothing he hated more than being kept in the dark.
Nolan ran his hand through his hair, exposing a light scar along his hairline. “Devan called a few minutes ago. He said he tried your cell but you weren’t answering.”
“Is he okay? The baby?” Eli’s stomach dropped.
Zack reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “They’re fine.”
“Physically.” Nolan sighed. “Devan is a little freaked out, and I can’t say that I blame him.”
“What. Is. Going. On?”
“Someone showed up at his apartment, wanting to know if you and he were friends or in a relationship. He apparently stuck his foot in the door so Devan couldn’t close it.”
The concern Eli felt a moment ago was replaced by rage. “What?”
In all the years they’d been together, nothing like this had ever happened to them. He might not have been as big a name back then, but this was insane. “Is he okay?”
Nolan nodded. “He said there are some people hanging around his apartment building though. Mostly across the street, so the building superintendent can’t do much.”
“I need to go over there.”
Zack grabbed his arm before he could take two steps. “And confirm whatever angle these jerks are trying to take? Stupid. One of us can go over.”
Nolan shook his head. “No good. If they saw Devan here at the gym, then they know who we are as well. It should be a friend of his.”
No, screw this. Eli grabbed the phone from Nolan’s desk and called Devan. He didn’t wait for him to say hello. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. A bit freaked out, but doing okay.” Devan’s voice shook, which told Eli all he needed to know.
“I want you to take a cab to my mom’s house. Bring the few things you need. We can ask Meg or someone else to get the rest of your stuff later.”
“I’m not going to run away from this. I have a life. All of Mattie’s things are here. I can’t send him into confusion because of some bully.”
“They’re probably Caulfield’s crew trying to stir up shit. You’ll need to stay somewhere else for a few days, and everything should be fine.”
“Eli, I’m not going to give in to this. If I run, then they win.”
Surprisingly, Eli didn’t give a fuck about winning.
“I know, but if they know who you are, then they’re going to continue to harass you.” He didn’t want to upend their lives, but he wasn’t about to let some assholes harass them because of a connection with him. “Let me do this for you. I owe you this at the very least. Let me take care of you properly for once.”
He heard Devan swallow. “Fine. I’ll take a cab. What’s your mom’s address again?”
Eli rattled it off. “I need to ditch Andrew, and I’ll be right over. Wait a half hour, call the cab, and I should be there waiting.”
His mind was already spinning as he hung up, working out the details of what he’d need to do to make sure Devan and Matthew would be comfortable at his mom’s house. He’d need to get some groceries, probably pick up some soft blankets for Matthew to rest on. God, he might have to find one of those damned Baby Mozart DVDs. Did he have a DVD player?
Zack’s chuckle broke his train of thought. “Wow, I’ve never seen you this focused on something before. Not even in the ring.”
“Mom’s place isn’t remotely babyproofed. I have power tools in the kitchen.”
“Just get them there. Then the two of you can figure the rest out.” Zack looked out the office window at the ring. “Andrew appears as though he’s going to punch something.”
“Shit. He’s going to be pissed when I cancel the rest of today’s training.”
Nolan stepped around the desk. “I can take care of him. It might be fun to see if he’ll put some of our regulars through their paces.”
“I’ll do that.” Zack kissed Nolan on the forehead. “You stay here in case Devan calls back and needs help.”
Eli stopped listening to the two of them making plans. He needed to get to the house before Devan. “I have to go.”
And so he did. Without thinking about Andrew, what Stephan would say to him about distractions before the fight, or if someone was watching him here at the gym, Eli marched to the locker room, grabbed his stuff, and left without a backward glance.
He made it to his mom’s in record time and was nearly done putting the building supplies and tools away when there was a knock on the front door. He raced over and pulled it open to reveal Devan holding a sleeping Matthew, a giant diaper bag and a folded-up playpen at his feet. Devan’s jaw muscle jumped. “I’m furious. But I don’t know who at.”
“Come in. I’ll get the stuff.” Eli reached for the bag the moment Devan came in.
Devan had been to his mom’s house a few times when they’d been married. It’d been mostly to check in on the tenants, and they hadn’t really stayed long. Devan had only met Eli’s mom once in the whole time they’d been together. Not because Devan wasn’t interested, but because Eli didn’t want to subject him to her changing moods due to her dementia. Maybe that had been another mistake on his part, but at the time it had made sense.
Devan looked around the living room, which Eli realized was far too cold for a baby. “I’ll turn the thermostat up.”
“The place hasn’t changed too much.”
“The tenants used mom’s furniture for the most part. I’ll need to get rid of some of it before I rent the place out again.” He hefted the heavy diaper bag on his shoulder. “Where do you want to put him?”
“A spare room is fine. He can sleep in the playpen, and I have his toys and books with me. In a pinch, I can use Netflix to entertain him.”
It took them a few minutes to get Matthew organized, but thankfully he didn’t wake. Devan laid him down, pulled a blanket over him. “He should be good for an hour or so.”
They snuck out of the room and went to the kitchen.
Knowing Matthew was in the house, all Eli could see as he looked around were hazards. “This place is a death trap.”
“It’ll be fine. I’ll either hold him or keep him in the playpen for now.” Devan rubbed his eyes. “Not quite the relaxing Friday I had hoped for.”
Eli went to the fridge, wishing some food had magically appeared while he’d been gone. “I don’t have much here. Some chicken, spinach. Stuff for protein shakes.”
“I’m fine as long as you have coffee.”
Eli hadn’t forgotten how much Devan needed caffeine to function. “I’ll brew a pot.”
Silence filled the space between them as Eli went about his task. No doubt Devan was plotting how to track down whoever had sent the man to his place to read them the riot act. When Eli finished and turned his attention back to Devan, he was surprised to see that he was looking at the wall where Eli had begun repairs the other day.
“Are you putting up pine boards?” Devan looked closer at the patch job. “This will look great with some natural wood. I always found the room to be too dark.”
The smell of brewing coffee filled the kitchen, helping Eli relax. “Yeah. Mom never let me do anything around here. She was pretty set in her ways, but I’d always wanted to modernize as much as I could.”
“I remember you saying that.” Devan turned back in his seat, his brown eyes meeting Eli’s. “I wish I’d known her better.”
Guilt clawed at Eli’s insides. “I wish you’d known her before her strokes. But that woman is gone.”
Devan looked away. “What are you going to do now?”
That was becoming a common question for him. “I’m going to go order some groceries and have them delivered. Along with a pizza for you. Then I’m going to call Stephan and fill him in. He’ll figure out what’s going on and will put a stop to it.”
“Do you really think it’s Caulfield? Is he trying to out you for more publicity?”
“I wouldn’t put it past him.” Eli didn’t care so much about whether or not people knew he was gay, but Stephan had always stressed that being openly out in the MMA would seriously hurt his chances at furthering his career. “As long as you and the baby are fine, I’m not worried.”
“You should be. Eli, this could destroy everything you’ve worked so hard for.” Devan shook his head slowly. “I pushed you when we were together. I
wanted to get married and have kids. You never said no, but I realized after you walked away that you were juggling too much: your mom’s illness, trying to balance what you needed in your personal life and what you wanted in your professional life. I’m sorry that I forced your hand.”
“You didn’t.” Eli pushed away from the counter and moved to Devan. He squatted down in front of him, and put his hands on Devan’s knees. “You did nothing wrong. I . . . When I left, that was all me. My head was . . . messed up and I didn’t know how to handle my emotions. I was terrified.”
“You wouldn’t have needed to handle anything if I hadn’t put you in that situation to begin with.”
“What are you talking about?”
Devan reached over and rubbed a corner of dried crack fill. “I was angry at you for a long time. You were my own personal villain, which meant you got to shoulder all of the blame. I never had to look at my own actions, what I’d done, because you’d been the one to leave. Since you’ve come back, I’ve started to question things. What I did to you.”
“You didn’t—”
“Yes, I did. Your mom had a major stroke and was living in a nursing home. I should have asked to go with you to see her. Insisted on helping you with that. I’d been so focused on starting my own family that I ignored an entire part of the one I’d already had.”
“I could have asked for help. I didn’t.”
Devan looked up at him, his eyes filled with tears. “You shouldn’t have had to. You were my husband.”
Eli swallowed past his guilt. “How about we agree that we both made mistakes?”
“Okay.” Devan got up and started pacing. “I really fucking hate this. I was starting to feel less than safe in my own home. I don’t know who that man was, or what he wanted. They have no right to get involved in my life.”
“No one will bother you here. I’ll make damn sure of it.” Eli stood up and ran his hand through Devan’s hair.
“They better not. I don’t want to cause you any problems with your career, but if they come after me and Matthew again, then they’re going to be sorry.”
Eli always knew Devan had a steel core to him, and had always enjoyed when he put it into action. God help the person who tried to hurt his son.
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