Making It

by Christine d'Abo

  “Why don’t you go rest? I’ll get some food and anything else you need for the night.”

  “Yeah. I’ll go check on Mattie.”

  Eli stepped away, not wanting to crowd him. Devan looked out the windows as he passed, no doubt checking to see if there were any lurkers around.

  Jesus, what a clusterfuck. When Eli had agreed to come to Toronto to help Zack with the grand opening, the possibility of seeing Devan, let alone dragging him into a public relations nightmare, hadn’t been something he’d ever considered. He needed to get this fight done, get the house finished, and sort out whatever this was between him and Devan.

  And if it turned out that he was Matthew’s biological father, then he’d have another decision to make. For the moment, his focus was groceries and getting a little help.

  He pulled out his phone and made a call. “Hey, Max. I need your help.”

  Devan didn’t remember drifting off to sleep. One moment he was stretched out on the spare bed, looking at Matthew sleep, and the next he startled awake, the sound of laughter coming from somewhere in the house. Matthew was still asleep, so he quietly tiptoed out of the room and went in search of the voices.

  “I know you don’t drink when you’re training, but here’s some wine for Devan. I hope he won’t need it this morning, but you never know. And I totally brought junk food because he deserves it.”

  Devan stepped into the kitchen, surprised to see Max and Grady standing there. “Max!”

  While he might not have been as built as Eli, Max was as tall and mostly as handsome. “There he is!” He came over and pulled Devan into a hug. “It’s been too long. You never come to the club anymore.”

  “Do you offer a babysitting service? I would absolutely come if you did. Why are you two here?”

  Max laughed. “For you I’d totally add one. Eli told us about your problem. I offered to bring provisions and get anything you needed from your place. I haven’t been to the gym in ages, so I’m sure no one watching the place would suspect me.”

  Relief swept through Devan. “That would be fantastic. There are a few things I didn’t think to get when I was rushing out the door.”

  “Make a list of what you need and write your address down. I’ll head over this morning and get what you need. I’ll also make sure no one has tried to get into your place.”

  Eli took Devan by the shoulder. “I need to go back to the gym today. I can’t skip out of more training. Not with the match next week.”

  Devan grabbed a piece of paper and jotted down the things they were going to need. “That’s fine. I’ll stay here and get organized. I have to work tomorrow, and I’ll need to make arrangements for someone to come stay with Matthew.” Depending on how Meg and Josh were, he might ask them to look after Matthew. If not, he’d need to take a few sick days and hunker down.

  “I have a press conference to attend tomorrow night.” Eli clearly wasn’t looking forward to it. “It shouldn’t be long, because we’re not the main event. But with everything that’s been stirred up on social media, Stephan said they want us in the spotlight.”

  “You’ll do great.” He held out the list, which Grady took and slipped into his pocket.

  Max and Grady moved past them. “We’ll get out of your hair and get your things. Be back in a few hours.”

  “Thanks, guys.” Devan watched them leave, remembering the time when it used to be him and Eli doing favors for others as a couple.

  It wasn’t until they were gone that Eli tugged Devan in for a hug. “One more week and all this shit will be done. People will move on to whoever is the next flavor of the week, and your life will go back to normal.”

  “A week?” God, he couldn’t put his life on hold for that long. It was going to be a nightmare getting back and forth to work, not to mention needing to make arrangements for the sitter to take Matthew at her house and—

  Eli squeezed him hard. “Breathe. You’re freaking out.”

  “Of course I’m freaking out. My life is currently off the rails.”

  “It’s not that bad. I’m here to make sure both you and Matthew are okay. Whatever you need, I’ll get for you. All you need to do is breathe. We’ve got this. Together.”

  “Okay.” Devan gave himself a moment to rest, to relax against Eli’s strong body and soak in everything about him. “There’s been so much going on, I think my brain is just catching up now.”

  Eli’s fingers brushed the bottom of Devan’s hair. “Same. Between you and the fight, it’s like I’ve forgotten why I’d come back to Toronto in the first place.”

  “What’s that?”

  “To fix up mom’s place and put it back on the market to rent.”

  Devan tensed and pulled back. “You’re not going to stay?”

  “I don’t know. I want to, but Stephan has my hands tied with my contract. I’ll have to talk to him.”

  Given how much he’d wanted to know about Matthew’s paternity, how much time he was spending with his mom, Devan had assumed Eli staying in Toronto was a done deal. He hadn’t considered the possibility that Eli wasn’t going to be able to stay, no matter what he wanted. “I see.”

  Eli shook his head. “It’s out of my hands.”

  “I know.” God, why had he gotten his hopes up? They both had their own lives, and after three years, he couldn’t expect Eli to simply change everything for him. “I better let you get back to the gym. I’ll check on Matthew.”

  “Devan—”

  He jerked away, knowing if he didn’t leave right the hell now, he was going to cry. “Good luck in the ring.” He left without looking back.

  Eli’s heart hadn’t been in his training since the moment he’d stepped into the ring. Andrew’s constant berating, not to mention the groin kick he’d landed when Eli wasn’t paying attention, hadn’t helped matters. Running from training to the house to get Devan set up, their fight—almost fight, disagreement, he didn’t know—before racing back to the gym for another session, had taken more out of him than he’d realized.

  What Eli really needed was to get something to eat, have a massage, and take a long sit in the steam room. Not necessarily in that order.

  Instead he side-stepped another one of Andrew’s kicks.

  “You can move faster than that.” Andrew led with one of the kicking pads, forcing him to defend himself.

  Eli bounced around, landing as many hits as he could, despite not being at full power. Today had drained about every ounce of his reserves. Eli tried to land a spin kick and missed.

  “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?” Andrew dropped the pads he’d been holding. “Get your fucking head in the fight.”

  “We’ve been at this most of today. I’m tired.”

  Stephan had shown up an hour ago, and had been watching intently from the sideline. “Andrew, take a short break. Let me talk to my boy here and we’ll work this out.”

  Eli climbed out of the ring, grabbing his water as he went. “I’m fine.”

  “Bullshit. I haven’t seen you this bad since your first few matches years ago.” Stephan crossed his arms and lowered his voice. “Are you hurt? Do I need to be worried about the fight next week? You collapsing or some shit? That would be worse than Caulfield knocking you out.”

  “It’s fine. You have nothing to worry about.” This was the first time in years he’d had to deal with emotional turmoil while training. He’d learn to deal. “Is the press conference tomorrow night all set?”

  “Yeah, it’ll be good. You’re going before the main event guys meet. You’ve only been allotted twenty minutes, and you’ll probably not have to worry about a lot of questions. It’s the panel format with the other under-card fighters. Knowing Caulfield, he’ll try and cause a stir at some point. Stay your stoic self and it will play great on the sports reports.”

  The only place Eli wanted to see that asshole was in the ring. “I need to talk to you about something.”

  Stephan frowned. “Sure.”

  “Som
eone has been harassing a friend of mine. Showed up at his apartment asking a whole lot of questions about me.”

  “What kind of questions?”

  While Eli hadn’t exactly been hiding his sexuality from Stephan, he hadn’t explicitly told him the truth either. “Asking if he was my lover.”

  Funny enough, Stephan didn’t exactly look surprised. “Ah. Is he?”

  There was no denying the truth now. “He’s my ex-husband.”

  “So he was the one who used to email you weekly.”

  Eli didn’t know how the hell to respond to that. “Well Caulfield sent someone to cause him problems.”

  “That wasn’t Caulfield.” Stephan stepped closer. “That was Jason who showed up. He’s an investigator friend of mine who I use to check up on things from time to time. I saw you with him here at the gym, the training sessions, the baby. I needed to know what I was dealing with.”

  “What?”

  “I needed to know if this was some new fuckboy I had to deal with. You’re starting to get sloppy. If you’d stayed in Montreal like I’d wanted, this wouldn’t have been a problem.”

  Rage flared bright within him. “You asshole. Don’t you ever go near them again. Do you hear me? Never again.”

  “Don’t give me a reason to. If it gets out that you’re gay, do you know what that will do to your career? All the effort I’ve put in to make you the rising star that you are will be wasted. Keep him away from the fight, from here. If I get a hint that the two of you are going to make your relationship public, then this will be emailed to Caulfield before the fight.”

  Stephan pulled out his phone and brought up a picture of Eli and Devan kissing. It was the day that Devan had shown up at the gym, after Devan had put the baby seat into the car. “I’m going to kill you.”

  “No, you’re not. You’re going to get your ass back into that ring and you’re going to do every little thing Andrew tells you to do. Then you’re going to go to the presser tomorrow night and be the fighter the world wants to see. You flat-out deny you’re in a relationship if you’re asked. If not, if you hint that there’s something going on in your personal life, then your ex becomes front and center in the gossip column and your career is over. Do we understand one another?”

  The burning rage didn’t fade, but Eli didn’t know what else he could do but follow Stephan’s demands. “This isn’t over.”

  Stephan chuckled. “I’m fairly certain it is. You’re locked into a contract with me, so don’t think you can dump me and keep going. I’ll destroy you.”

  Eli’s stomach bottomed out for a moment. Stephan was right. He’d signed a ten-year contract with him, and at the time, he hadn’t realized the importance of some of the fine print that had been added. He’d hoped there would never be a problem and he wouldn’t have to worry about getting free.

  Stephan reached out and patted Eli’s cheek. “Now go train, you beast. You have a fight next week.”

  Zack wasn’t too far away, and sauntered over as soon as Stephan moved back to the ring to speak with Andrew. “What was that about? You look ready to kill someone.”

  He trusted Zack more than anyone else in the world, but he wasn’t about to put another one of his friends into Stephan’s crosshairs. “Nothing. I have to get back into the ring.”

  “I wanted to ask how Devan was doing. Is everything all settled?”

  Five minutes earlier, and he would have been able to give Zack an honest answer. “He’s fine. Probably deep into an episode of Dora the Explorer with Matthew.”

  For once, Zack didn’t notice that Eli was deflecting. “Well, let me know if you need anything else and I’ll help.”

  “Thanks.”

  Eli crawled back into the ring, knowing that he’d finally be able to unleash his anger on Andrew. “Let’s get this shit going.”

  If Andrew was scared, he didn’t show it. “Stephan tells me you’ve got a little fuckboy on the side. Should have known.”

  Eli pounced on him. A hook that Andrew wasn’t quite able to block followed by a snap kick to the side of his head, before punching him square in the nose. Blood exploded from Andrew’s face. “Fuck!”

  Eli swiped his feet out from under him, sending Andrew to the mat. He got right in his trainer’s face. “If you go near him, if you even talk about him, I’ll show you what it means to be on my bad side. You got me?”

  Andrew didn’t say anything before Eli moved away. Stephan clapped loud enough to draw the attention of some of the other gym goers. “That’s what I like to see. The killer instinct that had been missing. Caulfield won’t know what hit him.”

  Shit, he’d played right into Stephan’s hands. “I’m hitting the steam room.” Before leaving, he tossed his sweat-soaked towel at Andrew. “Too bad about the nose.”

  He needed to get cleaned up and talk to Devan. Now that he knew the truth of what was going on, they needed to have a united front. Eli didn’t want anything else bad to happen.

  After Matthew had finally woken up from his nap, Devan moved his playpen to the living room and placed Matthew’s toys inside, hoping he could make them both feel at home. Eli had been gone for hours now, far longer than Devan had assumed he would be. He couldn’t imagine that he was still at Ringside. While Eli was strong and had crazy endurance in the ring, he couldn’t go indefinitely.

  Devan had spent the afternoon and evening making sure that the main floor was at least somewhat babyproof. He’d been about to move into the kitchen when there was a knock on the door. Thankfully, this time it wasn’t some unknown person, but rather Max, a bag full of items in his arms.

  “Oh, thank you so much. Matthew was starting to get fussy, and this stuff will help.”

  “I didn’t know which bag of diapers you needed, so I grabbed what I saw.” He handed everything over to Devan. “Oh, and when we were there, a package was delivered to you by courier. I had to sign for it.” He handed it over. “I figured you might want it.”

  The label was from the lab that had done the paternity test. God, this had arrived days earlier than he’d expected. The sudden rush of nerves through him sent his hands shaking. This was the last thing he wanted to deal with today. If Max knew exactly what it was he’d handed Devan, he didn’t show it. “Thanks.”

  “No problem. I’d stay longer, but I have to get over to the bar. We have a new DJ starting tonight, and I don’t want to be late in case there’s a problem.”

  The envelope grew heavier every second that he held it. “That’s fine. I won’t keep you. Eli should be back soon enough.”

  “I hope I’ll see you both at the bar soon.” Max shoved his hands into his pockets. “It felt right to see the two of you together earlier.”

  But Eli couldn’t stay in Toronto. And Matthew might be his son. “I’ll have to see if he’s up for it. It was wonderful to see you again too.”

  “Okay. Well, take care and call if you need anything else.”

  “Sure. Thanks again.”

  Devan watched until Max got into his car, waving and smiling in the hopes that he wouldn’t realize how freaked out Devan currently was. He finally closed the door and moved over to the couch. He put the package on the cushion beside him and stared at it.

  “Da, da, da.” Matthew whimpered, before the smell of a dirty diaper filled the air.

  “Yes, baby. I’ll clean you up.” But he didn’t move immediately, unable to take his gaze from the package.

  In there was the answer to the question that had been bugging him since he’d first learned of the mix-up. He now had it, and for the life of him, Devan wasn’t sure he could bring himself to open the package. No matter what the answer was, the simple act of knowing would change everything.

  Matthew started to full-out cry, which jerked Devan from his thoughts. “Okay, let’s get you changed and smelling like a rose again.”

  While he was in the spare room changing Matthew’s diaper, he heard the door open and close. Eli had finally come back, which meant that there would
be no more putting off the inevitable. “I’m in the room with Matthew,” he called. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

  Once Matthew was changed, Devan brought him out into the living room. Eli was sitting on the couch where he’d been a short time ago, looking at the package. “It came.”

  “Max brought it over when he dropped off the rest of my things.” He kissed Matthew’s temple. “I need to give him a bottle so I can put him down. Then we can talk.”

  “I’ll move the playpen back to the spare room for you.” Eli leaned in and gave Matthew a soft kiss to the top of his head, which surprised Devan. “I have something to tell you as well.”

  It didn’t take long for Matthew to get drowsy, and he went to bed easily for once. That left Devan with one final task—to find out what the test results said.

  Eli had gotten one of his protein shakes from the fridge while Devan had been out of the room. Eli was no longer looking at the package. No, his gaze landed on Devan the moment he’d emerged from the room. There was no mistaking the look of anger on his face.

  Devan slowed his approach. “What’s wrong?”

  “Sit down.” Eli finished his shake and dropped the empty bottle on the floor as he sat down in the chair.

  In his experience, nothing good ever followed the phrase sit down. He moved past Eli and sat slowly on the couch. “What happened? Did someone show up at the gym? Were they asking questions?”

  “No, it’s not like that. I know who showed up at your apartment.” Eli rubbed the back of his right hand. “It was some investigator named Jason. Stephan sent him there to confirm who you are. He admitted to blocking your communications for years.” He sighed and reached for Devan’s hand. “He’s threatened to tell the public about me . . . us, if I do anything to jeopardize the fight. He’ll destroy everything I’ve worked for.”

  Devan looked over at him, stunned. “But he’s your manager. Why would he do something like this?”

  “I think he’s worried that I’m going to let my personal life get in the way of business. I’m worth a lot of money to him right now, and I was careless with you. If it gets out that I’m gay, that might ruin my chances of making it to the next level.”