Nevermore: Crossbreed series book 6

by Dannika Dark

  I huffed quietly, thinking about the favor I owed her. Damn that witch, and I’d walked right into her lair. “What did you do for her?”

  “One favor turned into twenty. Each time I did something for her, it became another misdeed she could hold over my head. No, she never threatened me explicitly, but she had a roundabout way of making me think I needed her for protection. Lenore seduced me with the idea of power and wealth, promising me the world if I would let her mentor me. She gave me special attention, and whenever I did something for her, I gained her affections. Everything changed when she let me drink from her. Ronan had warned against drinking from an elder, but I was curious. I’d heard stories about how sexual and unparalleled it was to taste a female Vampire’s pure blood.” Christian turned around, anchoring his hand on the mantel as he sighed. “And it was.”

  “Come sit next to me.”

  “I don’t know if I can even look at you.”

  “You have a nice ass, Mr. Poe, but I’d rather look into your eyes while you’re telling me about your past.”

  Reluctantly, he pushed away from the fireplace and sat to my left. I turned, tucking my left leg under the right, my other foot on the floor. He stared straight ahead, his eyes bereft of emotion.

  “I can’t blame her,” he continued. “I did everything willingly. I chose to let her affect me the way she did. I chose to kill for her and do whatever she asked. And Lenore never had to ask. She would simply talk about a person who offended her, in such a way that I decided they were a blight on humanity who had lost their right to draw breath. She would take me in her arms and tell me how much my loyalty meant to her, how she could always count on me to protect her. So I killed for her.”

  “Are those your dark deeds? You killed a few baddies for a woman?”

  “I slaughtered hundreds!” he roared. “I murdered without even knowing what they did to wrong her. I killed men, women, and even a teenage boy. He was eighteen with the world in his palm.” Christian leaned forward, head in his hands. “Hundreds, Raven. Hundreds.”

  I sat quietly, allowing him to tell the story that must have haunted him for years. The way he said hundreds left me guessing that that ballpark could have been either low or high, but perhaps the number was so many that he’d lost count.

  “When she buried me in that coffin, I spent a decade hearing their cries—begging me to spare them. Telling me they had children to raise or were good Christians. Not all were Breed. Some were humans. High society. Lenore never found fault with the downtrodden, she simply looked at them as the dregs of society. I suspect now she was targeting anyone who stood in the way of her getting what she wanted. Perhaps people who found out about a scheme or her seducing men for money and power. She never gave an explanation, and to this day all I can do is speculate. I’ll never have the truth except for my own hand in it. I chose to become an executioner.” He rubbed his forehead. “I can’t even weep for them anymore.”

  “Is that why she buried you? Because you knew all her dirty secrets?”

  “I stayed with her for years. The more time that went by, the more I wanted her to notice me in a different way. To see what I’d done for her. She dressed me in fine threads, invited me to social events, but never as her companion. Only as her trusted advisor.” Christian lowered his hands and stared at the fire, the orange light illuminating his profile.

  “Did you love her?”

  He barely moved. “I thought I loved her, so yes. But it was an obsessive love. The only time I held her was when she fed me.”

  “So she only gave you affection when you drank her blood? And she fed you her blood to control you. No wonder you became an addict.”

  He flew back and closed his eyes. “Fecking hell. All those people, Raven. They weren’t all criminals or outlaws. Perhaps some, but all of them perished because I wanted to please a woman.” He clenched his fists. “I wasn’t quick about it either. I took out my anger on them because they’d offended my lady.” Christian turned and gave me a stone-cold look. “That’s who I am, Raven.”

  “That’s who you were.”

  “I’m still that person. I’ll always have that monster inside me, and I’ve come to accept it.” His gaze lowered. “It never goes away, no matter what you do afterward or who you save. Wicked deeds are thorny vines that weave into your soul.”

  When I saw a tear roll down his cheek, I scooted closer and touched his arm. I’d never seen Christian expose his true emotions, and it devastated me to learn how someone had manipulated his love. I couldn’t begin to understand the power Lenore wielded, especially after getting him hooked on her blood. She’d used his love to make him a monster.

  “I believed her to be a good woman,” he explained apologetically. “You’ve met her. You understand how charming she is and how there’s this vulnerable side to her. I never saw Lenore as evil. She did so many good things for people. She gave money to orphans and wanted women to have equal rights. In the end, I began to see myself as unworthy. So I saved up every penny I could, hoping to one day have enough to impress her.” Christian’s dark brows angled in a frown, his gaze still lost in the fire. “It was around 1932 when we attended an auction. Her heart was set on that ruby necklace, so I bid on it. And won. Lenore was outraged when she learned that I’d spent it all. She made a scene and stormed out. I left with the necklace, hoping she’d let me explain it was for her. And then she laughed. Called me a fool. She made me promise to sell it back, and so I lied. I told her I would.” Christian stood up and paced in front of the loveseat.

  “She believed you?”

  “Aye. She had no reason not to. The seller had already sailed off on a ship, so she had no way of knowing the truth unless she charmed me. I was convincing enough. Told her it was a mistake.”

  I put both feet on the floor. “Why was she so mad?”

  “I’ve wondered for years why she was so vexed about what I did with my own money. I gave it all to her in the shape of a heart. She said it was a foolish gesture and a waste of money. I think maybe she wanted to create powerful immortals as part of her social circle, and I’d given away my fortune. After that, she was more distant. I didn’t feed from her as much, because the viper had withdrawn her affections in every way.”

  “Why didn’t you leave her?”

  He did a slow turn and scorched me with his eyes. “She had so much dirt on me that I would have been burned alive if any of it got out. I had no money, so I had no place else to go. I’d hidden the necklace in one of my coat pockets, hoping she’d eventually forgive me. And one day she did. Lenore asked me to accompany her to a masked ball, not as her advisor but as her companion. I thought that meant something. But when we got there, she wanted to match me up with someone.”

  “Match up… as in sleep with them?”

  He shook his head. “Lenore saw an opportunity to get close to a powerful Mage, a woman with great influence. People sought her approval for real estate and loans. Lenore said if I seduced this woman and became her partner, that together we could be a powerhouse. Jaysus, I wanted to disappear right there on the dance floor. I can still hear the song playing in my head as I realized I would never have Lenore.”

  “Please tell me you didn’t marry a Mage. Because finding out you’re still married might be a deal breaker.”

  He jerked his head back. “As if the rest isn’t?” Christian folded his arms, and my gaze traveled over the raven tattoo. “I had the necklace in my pocket that night, and I asked Lenore if she would wear it. I confessed I could never be with another woman, and she was infuriated. We left the party immediately. In the car, she pulled out impalement wood and drove it into my chest, right through the pocket where I kept the necklace. She asked the driver to make a detour and had him bury me in an old cemetery.”

  “That bitch,” I murmured. Love for Lenore had ruined Christian in the worst way, because she never loved him back.

  “I was buried for a little over ten years.” He dropped his arms to his sides as he loom
ed over me. “Do you know what it does to a man to be buried that long? Nothing but your thoughts and the darkness to keep you company.” His eyes lowered. “And that necklace.”

  Now probably wasn’t the best time to admit I’d given it back to her to sell.

  “How did you get out?” I asked, dumbfounded how anyone could be buried in the dark for that long and retain their sanity.

  “Believe it or not, Spooky found me.”

  “Wyatt? Our Wyatt?”

  “Aye. The wanker was wandering around in the cemetery, looking for someone’s relative who was allegedly buried alive. He sensed my presence and dug me up. I was a sight. My clothes were in tatters, and my beard was long and thick. We parted ways and never saw each other again. He barely recognized me when I joined Keystone.” Christian heaved a sigh. “It was ten years before I could lie with another woman.”

  Now I finally understood why Christian believed that love was poisonous. Lenore abused her power and then betrayed his loyalty and devotion by stabbing him in the back. And now, after all these years, she wanted him? Maybe she just wanted her loyal guard dog back by her side.

  Christian knelt at my feet. “Can you look me in the eye after all I’ve said?”

  “Did you really get the tattoo to convince me or yourself?” I looked up into his onyx eyes. “She still tempts you. Don’t make me promises if you can’t let her go, if she’s constantly on your mind and you’re still in her thrall.”

  He placed his warm hands on my thighs and stroked my legs. “I told you my words would never be enough. Even if you accepted everything, there would always be a lingering doubt. That’s why I marked my body with your name as a symbol. I can’t make you choose me, Raven. But if you’ll still have me with no secrets between us, knowing what you know, then I’ll be the luckiest man alive. I promise to be an attentive lover, if that sweetens the pot any.”

  I tunneled my fingers through his hair and pulled him to my breast. “If you can promise me you’ll never put your fangs on her again, I’ll have you.”

  He leaned back and pulled me to the edge of the sofa so he was wedged between my legs. I cupped his neck with my hands, his pulse ticking against my thumbs. It sang to me, the rhythm a sweet promise.

  “Oh, Raven. Your Vampire nature is so much more than what you think it is. Blood is life, but it’s not about the consumption. Simply the feel of it is home.” He moved my hand over his heart. “You can’t be with me if you’re going to deny your Vampire instincts. That’s part of you, and if you don’t love part of yourself, how can you ever love a monster like me?”

  I drew closer, my eyes following the pulse on his neck.

  “It speaks to you like a whisper,” he said softly. “It tells you to do things that don’t seem rational. What’s yours telling you right now?”

  I shook my head, wanting to deny it.

  He tilted his neck to the side. “Show me.”

  Cradling his neck, I leaned forward and stroked my tongue across his artery as if he were an ice cream cone on a hot summer day. He drew in a sharp intake of breath and shuddered when I did it again.

  But I had no urge to drink from him. It wasn’t about thirst or feeling his emotions. There was something so primal in the act that I had no way to rationalize it.

  He tilted back and stroked his thumb across my cheek. “It’s a connection. It’s life. You haven’t even scratched the surface of what it means to be Vampire. Let me show you.”

  “Okay,” I said on a breath.

  He leaned in close and his fangs elongated, but there was nothing threatening about it. My heart sang, and I no longer questioned my feelings. Neither of us had a clean past, but we were willing to accept without judgment. For all his sins, he would never balance the scales. And neither would I. Did two sinners deserve love? Maybe not, but here we were, and I wasn’t about to turn him away.

  His soft eyes were full of love, his lips against my cheek. “Sweetheart, I will take such good care of you.”

  CHAPTER 28

  Christian and I didn’t exchange vows. We didn’t make promises of a lifetime, list our expectations, or discuss a ceremony. Hell, we didn’t even discuss the sleeping arrangements. We both held each other in the firelight, forgiving each other’s sins and accepting our faults. I had no place to judge the man he’d been a hundred years ago, especially given the circumstances of a stronger immortal manipulating his trust through the power of blood.

  No wonder Christian had been so protective where my own maker was concerned.

  “It’s time,” he finally said.

  I stood up and wrung my hands as I followed him down the hall.

  When we neared the french doors, Christian caught my wrist. “They’re not out there anymore.” He cocked his head to the side and turned toward the front of the house. “They’re waiting in the dining room.”

  We circled the front of the house, both of us barefoot and barely dressed. My tank top and shorts were still damp, and his jeans scraped loudly with each step. We were walking into the unknown, certain of our love but unsure if we would wind up living on the streets with memories like swiss cheese.

  Grim faces awaited us at the dining table when we entered the room. The fact that Viktor had assembled everyone in here meant we were in for a serious meeting. No one looked us in the eye, and I felt like a prisoner about to receive her sentence.

  With a knot in my stomach, I sat in my chair and stared at the cluster of candles lit in the center of the table. Christian took his spot to my left and folded his hands on his lap.

  Everyone still had on their hot tub clothes except Viktor, who had put on a plaid shirt but kept it unbuttoned all the way down. I wondered if he’d also put on pants and considered how awkward it would be for him to banish us from Keystone in his swim trunks. He propped his elbows on the table and laced his fingers together.

  I waited, uncertain who was supposed to begin this difficult conversation.

  Christian took the lead. “Raven and I have come to a mutual agreement. We’re a permanent fixture.”

  Wyatt scratched his jaw. “How long has this been brewing?”

  I don’t think either of us knew how to answer that with absolute certainty.

  “Since a while,” Niko answered.

  All eyes fell on him, and I leaned forward in my chair to see if he was kidding around.

  Niko turned to face us. “I noticed their light shifting colors quite some time ago, probably before even they knew how they felt about each other. But something changed recently, and I have no doubt that what they have is unbreakable.”

  I thought back to when we returned from Canada and how Niko mentioned my light had changed. That was when Christian and I had been intimate for the first time, and I felt the shift in my heart just as surely as Niko saw it.

  Part of me wanted to slam my fist on the table and tell them the facts, but I had to play this cool. We had to play this cool. At least until Viktor finally uttered a word.

  “We tried to keep it a business relationship,” I explained. “Neither of us wanted to risk our jobs for what might just be meaningless chemistry. As it turns out, it’s not so meaningless. I know we all agreed to the same rules when joining, but the heart wants what it wants. Viktor, I can see your point about partners not getting involved in a fling, but this isn’t casual. If anything, it’ll make our partnership even stronger.”

  Christian rested his arms on the table and laced his fingers together. “We’re asking you not to scrub our memories and cast us out like traitors. Raven and I are loyal to Keystone. We’ve talked about it endlessly, and it’s our choice to bring it to the table instead of keeping what we have a secret. We understand the consequences, and we’re willing to accept them. But can you not have some leniency? When Raven first joined Keystone, I wanted to stake her myself. I never thought we’d be having this discussion. We didn’t plan for this to happen. In fact, we fought it every step of the way.”

  Viktor continued staring at the candles in
the center of the table, occasionally pursing his lips.

  “If you think it’ll be problematic, we can switch partners,” I suggested. “And if not, we’ll work alone. Maybe if you take on a new member, you can pair them with one of us.”

  “Jaysus, Viktor. You’re killing me. Can you at least slam your fist down or give us a sign that you’re still breathing?”

  Viktor finally lifted his stony gaze and looked right at us. “And what does… permanent mean to a Vampire?”

  Christian sat back. “Until she buries me in a coffin?”

  Wyatt chortled. “I’ll just keep my mouth shut on that one.”

  “Viktor, we want to be here,” I assured him. “You have no idea how much we’ve discussed this. We even tried separating for the sake of Keystone. But you can’t expect us to end a relationship we’ve already committed to. That’s like asking Shepherd to choose between either keeping his kid and leaving Keystone or staying and living alone. But you gave him a choice, one that he can still back out of if he changes his mind. All we’re asking is that you make a few accommodations and give us a chance. I had a lot of time to think while away. I know you had conventional ideas when you created this organization, but you didn’t choose conventional people. Can’t we come to the table with a compromise?” I leaned back. “What are your thoughts? The truth.”

  “I am thinking if one of you betrays the other, you will no longer be able to do your job.”

  “If I lose my legs, I might not be able to do my job. You can’t punish us for something that hasn’t happened.”

  “Partners must trust each other.”

  “You have no problem there,” Christian firmly replied. “Even when quarreling, we’ve put aside our issues to do the task at hand.”

  “He’s right,” I said. “If you’re still not sure, split us up. But if you want to know the truth, we’re stronger as a team. Both of us want to be here, Viktor. More than you know. You’re all we have.”