As soon as the car was running, screw heat, I was still burning from a simple kiss that never should have happened, I jerked it into reverse and backed out of my spot. Tires spinning on ice, I tore out of the parking lot. One glance in my mirror to make sure he didn’t follow me caused my heart to leap into my throat.
No, he wasn’t following me. He was out of his car, running after me. Looking like he was the one hurt.
Fuck.
I didn’t trust myself to go home. If Connor followed me there I’d never survive. I’d heard him sweet talk Emily enough times to know he could talk his way into, or out of, anything. I wasn’t going to be on the receiving end of his manipulation. No matter how good his kiss was, or how much I wanted to do it again.
I went through the drive thru at Sandy’s Wiches and ordered a sub for me and one for Charlie. With dinner warming the front seat, I went straight to Bite Me! to talk Charlie into joining me for dinner. And hopefully not spilling it to everyone that Connor Lee went to see her.
I pushed through the front door and was immediately surrounded with the familiar scent of sugar and coffee that seemed to pour from the walls of Bite Me! Charlie had decorated in simple whites, pinks, and browns, but there was something about the place that was both soothing and invigorating. Bite Me! made me want to tuck my feet under me and curl up in the corner with a good book, a cupcake or two, and a large cup of coffee.
Charlie grinned at me when she finished with the customer she was helping and nodded to the end of the counter. A large display case ran almost the full length of the store, showing off the insane treats Charlie baked up every day. At the far end was a stretch of counter that bar stools were pulled up to and beyond that was a section of seating that had grown too small when our ladies’ nights took over. In the summer months Charlie had a few bistro tables out front on the sidewalk, but since it was Winterville, summer only lasted about ten weeks. If we were lucky.
I held up the bag of food as I walked to the end of the counter, and Charlie’s face soured, immediately understanding something was wrong. She glanced behind her and asked Kendall, the high school student who worked part time in the afternoons, to cover for her. Charlie inclined her head toward the door behind the counter that led to the kitchen and her apartment upstairs. I nodded, and she waited for me to join her on the other side of the counter.
In the kitchen Charlie asked, “Kitchen or upstairs?”
“This is fine. I brought dinner. Are you hungry?”
Charlie gave me a duh look and gestured to herself. “Look at me. I’m always hungry.”
I laughed, knowing it was true because I felt the same way. That was the best thing about having close friends who were also plump, we all understood each other. Yeah, we’d all gone through different things, some good and some bad, but in our late 20s and early 30s, we all felt the same about a lot of things. Food being one of them.
I pulled the sandwiches out of the bag and handed Charlie hers then unwrapped mine on the stainless steel table we were seated at. The kitchen was big, but Charlie complained not big enough. As I took in the industrial mixer, the oversized ovens, and the prep station that had more counter space than my whole kitchen, I wondered how much more space a person needed to bake. Then again, I’d never baked on the volume Charlie did on a daily basis. I was just happy to have her as a friend that liked to feed me.
“Judging by the look on your face, something’s wrong. Did I screw up selling that guy cupcakes? He said he knew you.”
I shook my head, amazed at how quickly Charlie not only picked up that something was wrong, but also that I was there because of Connor. If she hadn’t become a baker she definitely should have been a therapist.
“He does, well, sort of. We went to high school together, but we never spoke. He was one of the populars.”
Charlie nodded knowingly, herself having been plump, and therefore invisible, during high school. It was hard to look back on high school when it wasn’t a great time. I’d heard too many people who touted that as the best time of their lives and wondered how dull and pathetic their lives were. I could have skipped high school and missed out on very little.
Except Connor Lee.
“He seemed really sweet,” Charlie dropped in before taking a bite of her sandwich.
How do you explain being in love with someone who never knew you existed only to have that same person show up a decade later and act like you’re old friends just so he can fuck with you?
“I don’t know him. At all. We danced at Sam and Brady’s wedding-“
“Wait, he was the hottie from high school at the wedding? Damn. I knew he looked familiar. Was he a good dancer?”
My mind flashed back to our dance. I could feel the weight of his palm on my skin and see the heat in his eyes. My cheeks flushed as I remembered the way he looked at me and the quickening of his breath as he leaned in to kiss me.
“Damn,” Charlie muttered softly, loud enough to break my reverie. “I want a dance like that.”
I blushed deeper, heat climbing my cheeks and traveling south at the same speed, settling between my legs with a need I hadn’t felt in… shit, ever.
“He’s a very good dancer. But after we danced he leaned in like he was going to kiss me. Then the DJ interrupted us. He vanished after that.”
Charlie eyed me suspiciously, no doubt wondering about today and the cupcakes she’d sold him.
“I didn’t see him the rest of the night or hear from him until he turned up outside my job today.”
“With cupcakes and coffee,” Charlie gushed like it was the most romantic thing she’d ever heard.
I nodded. “He said he wanted to explain about Saturday night and wanted to talk. I sat in his car with him while he told me about having to work and I told him about my bosses retiring and how I wanted to buy the store but wasn’t sure I’d get the loan. Then he kissed me.”
I deadpanned the last statement, instilling all the seriousness and frustration I felt in the four words. I needed someone else to understand why I was freaking out, someone to tell me I wasn’t being ridiculous. I needed to know I wasn’t crazy to run from a gorgeous man who’d been nothing but nice to me.
“What did you do?” Charlie asked cautiously as though she could tell it was going to be bad.
“I ran.”
Her jaw hit the floor. Seriously. She looked like she was going to fall off her stool with how far over she fell, jaw leading the way toward the ground.
Charlie composed herself, carefully, and resumed her fictional calm. “Why?” she asked with only the slightest squeak of disbelief.
It hit me all at once. Every reason I’d manufactured for rejecting Connor Lee washed over me and made me feel like an idiot. Yeah, he was out of my league, so far I couldn’t even see where he played, but he was just a guy. And I’d treated him unfairly.
Right?
“Shit Charlie, I don’t know. At first I kissed him back and it was good. I mean, like toe curling, panty soaking, fantasy inducing good. God, the man can kiss. But then my brain kicked in and I couldn’t come up with one good reason he would actually want to kiss me and I convinced myself he was just playing me.”
Charlie nodded thoughtfully, taking a bite of her sandwich and chewing slowly. I didn’t know if she was doing it to make me crazy or not, but I was quickly losing my mind. I took my own bite to try to stifle the urge to make her hurry, but it didn’t help. I was practically crying waiting for Charlie’s wisdom.
“Is he a player?”
I wasn’t sure if I felt better or worse that Charlie reminded me that I didn’t know Connor Lee at all. Yeah, I knew how tall he was, how much he weighed in high school, how many touchdowns he’d scored, and the number of yard he’d run, but I didn’t know a thing about what had happened in the last eleven years. And that was why I ran.
“I don’t know. Charles, I’m so confused. It’s strange, you know. I know him, I mean, I idolized him in high school, but I don’t know him now. I neve
r really knew him then either, I just wanted to. I feel like we have so much history, but the truth is he’s a complete stranger to me.”
“Tell me about the last guy you dated.”
I shook my head, wondering at the sudden change in topic. My relationships were few and far between most of the time, and this was no different. I hadn’t been with anyone in about eight months. Since…
“Ryan. He was really sweet, always making sure I was okay and watching out for me.”
“How did you meet?”
I smiled at the memory. Ryan was a customer at READ and asked me out. We read the same books and seemed to have a lot in common so it was a no-brainer to go out with him.
“Work. He was so cute. Dark hair, strong hands, and an amazing voice. But I felt a bit more on par with him because he wasn’t God-like like Connor is. Ryan was a bit overweight, but he was kind and I’m not that hung up on looks anyway.”
Charlie nodded thoughtfully. “Why did you break up?”
I shrugged. “Why does anyone? We dated for about six months, but it just wasn’t right. I liked him, but I wasn’t in love with him and didn’t see myself heading that way. He felt the same. We went from having passion to being comfortable. We lost that spark. We’re still friends, as much as you can be with someone who’s seen you naked, but we’re not ever getting back together. I think he’s dating someone new.”
“So what I hear you saying is you met a guy at work, didn’t know anything about him, went out with him anyway, and discovered the passion you had didn’t last. Is that about right?”
“Yeah,” I drew out cautiously, wondering where she was going.
“I don’t see how things need to be different with Connor. Yeah, you knew of him in high school and have some preconceived notions about him, but you don’t know him. You didn’t know Ryan either, but you gave him a shot. Why shouldn’t you give Connor a shot?”
Damn, I hated when she made perfect sense. I sighed heavily, knowing she was right and not sure how to fix it. Hell, after the way I acted Connor was likely to never show his face around me again. The thought made me both sad and relieved.
“I guess I just see Connor as out of my league and wonder why he would be interested. Like he’s playing a trick on me. Even if he’s not, I don’t see us ever really being together. I want someone I can share my life with. Someone who likes the same things as me, who will be content to sit and read a book instead of needing to be in the spotlight all the time.”
Charlie shrugged and tossed her sandwich wrapper in the trash then wiped down the table we used for our dinner. She pulled a tray of unfrosted cupcakes over in front of us and a bag of frosting.
“I think if he wasn’t a decent guy he wouldn’t have bothered to come after you today, and he wouldn’t have come here first to get you something special. He was really sweet. He seemed embarrassed to be asking for help and really concerned about getting something you would like. I just don’t think he would go through all that if it were a trick or a joke. As for the rest of it. Unless you know him, you don’t know that he’s not that guy. The whole reason you bolted was because you don’t know him so how can you be so sure he’s not the guy who’s going to sit and read with you?”
My heart flipped when she said how concerned Connor was. He cared? Why? It didn’t make sense, but maybe he did like me. And I screwed it up. Damn.
“Let’s say this is some alternate universe where a guy like Connor Lee would actually like a woman who looks like me,” I gestured to my plump self, making Charlie laugh when I smacked my own extra-large booty. “How do I fix it?” I ignored the last part of her statement because I knew she was right. I just needed to give him a chance, if he asked for another one.
Charlie shrugged. “Shit if I know. I’m probably the last one you need to be asking for advice on men. My relationship status is permanently set to ‘Snowball’s chance in hell.’ Addi’s already out there, and everyone else will be here soon. Why don’t you ask them?”
I wrinkled my nose. “Honestly, I’m not sure if I should. I feel… like an idiot, to say the least. It’s going to be hard for me to trust that he’s not just messing with me.”
Charlie shrugged. “I still think you should talk to everyone. Mandy went through something similar with Xander when they met. She didn’t trust that someone who looked like Xander would like her. Obviously she was wrong, but it wasn’t an easy start.”
I followed Charlie out of the kitchen and saw Addi, Claire and Aidan, and Lexi already at the table. Mandy was notoriously late, Carrie didn’t usually beat her by much, and Sam was on her honeymoon. Looking at my friends sitting around our table, talking and laughing and so happy made me wonder if I should talk to them.
Charlie waved to everyone from behind the counter as I walked over to join them. I was still deciding whether or not to talk to them about Connor as Carrie, followed quickly by Mandy and Xander, sat down. I didn’t get a chance to make my decision before Mandy asked, “Did you hook up with that hottie from the wedding, Riles?”
Eight
“Yeah, I wanted to know that too,” Claire asked. “We saw you guys dancing and I had to clench my thighs together to keep from losing it.”
Everyone laughed, including me, but I wan’t sure what to tell them. I glanced over at Charlie and she just raised her eyebrows at me, answering the question for me.
“No, we didn’t hook up. He vanished after our dance then showed up at my work this afternoon with cupcakes from Charlie. We talked and he kissed me, but I pushed him away. Literally.”
I was met with gawking faces, raised eyebrows, and a few smirks. Yeah, I was as confused as they were.
“Why did you push him away?”
“What kind of cupcakes did he bring?”
“What do you mean vanished?”
“How did he know where you work?”
“How hot was the kiss?”
Everyone was talking at once, trying to find out everything that was going on. I had answers but didn’t know how much the answers would explain.
“Okay, stop. Riles, start at the beginning. Tell us exactly what happened at the wedding, the talking, the dancing, the vanishing. Then explain today, including why you pushed him away,” Lexi said, quickly taking care of the chaos of the group. Her blonde hair and short stature made you think Lexi was a pushover, but she was anything but. In her day job she was a department manager and busted the balls of any man, woman, or child who stood in her way.
Everyone fell silent and stared at me expectantly. I took a deep breath and retold the entire story from Connor approaching me to him showing up at READ and me pushing him away after he kissed me. They all listened intently and without interrupting. When I finished they were all quiet, contemplating my story.
“Well, I think you should give him a chance,” Xander said. “He was a decent enough guy to back off when he thought we were together and was ready to punch me when Mandy kissed me. He wasn’t faking that.”
“I understand where you’re coming from though,” Mandy chimed in. “I didn’t think someone who looked like Xander would be into me either. I get the unease with it. If you think he might be a good guy then I say give him a chance. If you’re too unsure about him, let it go.”
“I think that sounds like good advice for any guy,” Claire added. “If you’re not sure about him it doesn’t matter what he looks like. Trusting someone new is tough.”
“Yeah,” Aidan said, wrapping his arm around Claire’s shoulder, “I had to butter her up for almost two years before she gave me a shot. And even then I had to tread lightly.”
Claire looked up at him with all the love in the world, and Aidan pressed a soft kiss to her lips. He whispered something that sounded like, “It was worth it,” but I wasn’t sure. Still, the love and adoration between them was nearly a living being, something you could see in the air around them.
“Was he a jerk in high school?” Carrie asked.
I shook my head. “No, not that I know
of. He was a sports superstar, but he didn’t have a reputation of being an ass. He just hung out with the popular crowd, and I didn’t.”
“What are you afraid of?” Addi asked, nailing the whole issue. I was scared. Shitless.
“The same thing we’re all afraid of. Getting hurt. Looking like a fool. Falling and being alone.”
“I understand that, but the chance of it working out makes the risk of getting hurt worth it,” Lexi argued. “Mike and I were involved for so long that it didn’t seem like a big deal to get involved, but our entire relationship changed when we got more serious. Still, I wouldn’t have changed anything.”
It was easy to say that when it all worked out. I couldn’t help but wonder if she would have felt the same if Mike had rejected her at some point. How would they all feel if they were single like me and wondering where their lives were headed?
We never knew where our lives were going to end up. It was one thing I loved about books. With a book you always knew the end, or at least could get to the end. Real life was like a book that hadn’t been finished, and it sort of sucked.
“Oh, Riles, how did things go with Andy today?” Carrie interrupted my thoughts.
Damn, the other thing I didn’t want to talk about.
“Who’s Andy?” Mandy sing-songed.
I rolled my eyes at her obvious innuendo.
“Wait, you’ve been freaking out about one guy, but you’re really balancing two?” Charlie said as she joined us. “Did the other guy bring you cupcakes? They better not have come from another bakery,” she teased.
I laughed in spite of myself. “It’s nothing like that. Andy is my boss’s son. They’re retiring and he’s helping figure out how much the store is worth. He does all their accounting. Oh, that reminds me, Charlie, can you do cupcakes for their retirement party? It’s in two months.”
“Yeah, sure,” Charlie agreed.
“Wait, what’s going to happen if they sell?” Lexi asked, ever the business woman.
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