I shrugged. “Well, I’m hoping I can get a loan and they’ll sell it to me. We talked about that yesterday and that’s the plan. They want to sell to me and Andy said they’re going to give me a good price, but I still need a loan.”
“You want to buy it?” Charlie asked, clearly surprised.
“Yeah,” I nodded, “I’ve always wanted to. It feels like home there, and I love it. You guys know how much I love books. I just want to have the option to make it into my own place, but I don’t know if I have enough money.”
“Damn, Riles, I wish I had extra cash. With how close Drew and I are getting to starting our place up, we don’t have the extra money to help you.”
I chorus of agreements and murmured ensued, reminding me of why I loved my friends, and why I didn’t want to tell them about all this. I knew they’d do anything they could to help me, even though I was fairly new to their group. They were, by far, the kindest people I’d ever met.
“I wouldn’t ask any of you for money. I have a meeting with that bank friend of Brady’s on Friday. Hopefully everything will work out.”
“I’m sure it will. You’re obviously good with money. You said you’ve owned your house for years. Most people can’t buy a house straight out of college.”
I nodded, accepting the compliment. “My parents were pretty particular with money growing up. My sisters and I all save as much as we can. I’m just not sure it’s enough.”
~*~
The next morning I was still thinking about what everyone said. I wasn’t sure I’d ever see Connor again, and I really didn’t want to chase him down, but I was willing to try again if he was. As for my loan… I still had two days to stress about talking to Marshall.
I fought the urge to listen to Connor’s radio show again. I didn’t sleep well with everything on my mind, but I wasn’t going to torture myself. The chances of Connor and I ever having more than the one kiss we already shared was somewhere between not-gonna-happen and yeah-right. Listening to his voice again wasn’t going to change that, nor was it going to make me feel better about screwing it up.
Feeling the need to boost my mood, I put on my favorite midnight blue lacy boy shorts and matching bra. Over that I pulled on a midnight blue turtleneck sweater that was soft and cozy and always made me want to curl up in the corner with a book. A pair of khakis, my fur lined boots, and a pair of dangling, sparkly earrings I got from my baby sister, Sophie, for Christmas. My mood wasn’t great, but I was always happier when I felt pretty.
I had a busy day ahead of me. There were a ton of things I was working on to bring new people into READ and I wasn’t going to slow down any of my efforts just because I wasn’t sure who I’d be working for in two months. If the place was mine then all the work would be that much more worthwhile. If not then I’d go down swinging.
All I could do was try to hold on to the place I loved. As long as possible.
Wrapped in my warmest coat and ready for the freezing three mile drive, I got into Betty and braced myself for the blast of cold coming out of the vents. I knew Carrie hated my car, but Betty was reliable, and she was all mine. A new car wasn’t in the works for me. My parents raised me to value money, and to always be smart with it. While a lot of people I knew were up to their eyeballs in debt, I had a 15 year mortgage on my home, a car that was paid for, and enough in savings to buy READ.
Hopefully.
The drive to READ was quick, but cold, as always. My teeth were chattering when I pulled in the lot. Even with gloves on, my hands were cold, almost numb, and I wanted nothing more than to bolt inside to the warmth that awaited me.
I tucked my purse under my arm and sidestepped the icy patches as I ran, well, walked fast, toward the door. It wasn’t until I got to the door and was unlocking it that I realized I wasn’t alone.
Nine
I screamed and dropped my keys. My hand flew to my chest as my heart tried to escape. I took a step backward, the cold brick of the building pressed against me, trapping me between a rock and a hard place. Literally.
“What the hell?” I screeched.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Yeah? Funny, because sneaking up on a person is usually the best way to scare them. What are you doing here, Connor?”
He ran a bare hand through his dark hair. His normally crystal blue eyes looked bloodshot and tired. In just a day he appeared as though he’d lost a week’s worth of sleep. The collar of his coat was turned up to protect him against the wind, but his ears were tipped in red, his teeth chattering.
And dammit if he wasn’t still beautiful.
“I just wanted to talk to you. I fucked up yesterday and I wanted to see if you’d give me another chance.”
My jaw dropped. I could feel it. I was gawking at the poor man. The longer I stood there, unable to force my mouth to spit out a few words, the worse he looked. Finally he nodded, misunderstanding my reaction as a rejection and turned to walk away.
“Wait!” I called after him, forcing the word out as though it costed me something. Maybe it did. I wanted to give him another chance, but I was still scared. My friend’s words from the night before came back in stereo. I had no choice.
Connor spun back around, hope lighting his eyes as he took a tentative step toward me. “Yeah?”
“Why don’t you come inside? We can talk where it’s warm.”
He nodded and walked back over to me. I bent to get my keys and thought I heard him groan, but when I stood he was looking up, not at me. We pushed inside, the warmth of the store hitting me and welcoming us. I locked the door behind us since we had 30 minutes until the store was officially open.
I led the way to my office, neither of us speaking until we reached the sanctuary of the private space. Lights on, jacket hung up, purse and lunch put away, I faced Connor. He sat in the chair I reserved for guests, not that I ever had any, but it was a nice sentiment. Usually if someone came to visit me we found a spot in the store to chat. This felt different. Like we needed to sit in my office.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you yesterday. I wanted to apologize. It was a mistake, and I want to ask you to please forget it happened.”
Ouch. He knew how to make words hurt. Not that I was surprised he regretted it, but damn.
“Well, if that’s all you needed,” I said, pushing to my feet. “Apology accepted. It’s forgotten. It was nice meeting you after all these years.”
I couldn’t leave the office without walking past him, but he didn’t seem ready to leave. Sitting there and listening to him tell me he had a girlfriend or that he was stupid for doing it or that he didn’t know what came over him or whatever other excuse he had was not in my plans for the day. What was in my plans was getting the hell away from him and going on with my life before Connor Lee stepped back into it.
I tried to walk past him, but he grabbed my wrist. I stopped and looked up at the ceiling, praying for some kind of strength.
“Riley, it was a mistake because you were distracted and confused and I took advantage of that. I’m not a jerk, even though I obviously come across that way when I’m around you. I wanted to kiss you, yes, but I never should have done it without your permission. You weren’t even looking at me. You had your eyes closed, trusting me in a way very few people ever have, and I was a dick. If I had my way I would have kissed you on the dance floor and not left you the way I did, then I could have kissed you yesterday and it wouldn’t have resulted in you hating me.”
I looked down at his large hand circling my smaller wrist. I’d never felt small next to a man, but seeing his fingers wrapped all the way around my arm, the tips resting against his palm as though I was a normal sized woman and not big, made me feel small. I looked over him again, taking my time with my appraisal, enjoying the view of his long, thick legs encased in denim, the drape of his wool coat covering his hips and upper body. His other hand gripped the arm of the chair as though restraining himself.
His blue eyes begged me to reconsider, to tak
e his words at face value then dig deeper into the heart of what he was saying. His lips were parted, poised to continue his argument if I didn’t give him the answer he wanted. Out darted his pink tongue covering the edge of his lip before vanishing again. For some reason with the appearance of his tongue my brain stalled, forgetting momentarily what we were talking about.
“Riley?” he asked, his rich deep voice pulling me from my blankness.
“Sorry. Um, are you for real?”
A glimmer lit his eyes, a spark of a challenge. He looked like the Connor Lee I remembered from high school, the one who never turned down a dare and who always got what he wanted.
He stood slowly, his hand still wrapped around my wrist. At his full height he towered over my 5’10” height by the eight inches I knew he was taller than me. Broad shoulders dwarfed mine with arms that were almost the size of my legs. Connor Lee hadn’t lost any of the definition or size he had in high school. It looked as though he’d gained even more.
“Riley, I like you. I know we don’t know each other well, or really at all, but when I saw you, I knew I had to try to get to know you.”
“Why? I mean, really?” I stammered, not really sure what the hell was going on.
His free hand lifted and approached my cheek. I flinched, wondering what the hell he was doing. He looked into my eyes, peering close, then lifted his arm slowly, as though I was an animal that was spooked. I guess I was.
His palm touched my cheek and I brushed against it like a greedy cat wanting more. He stepped closer, the blue of his eyes darkening to a navy. The hand on my wrist glided up my arm, pausing at my shoulder before ducking under my hair and cupping the back of my neck.
Completely under his control my head tipped back, giving him full access to me. As his head lowered, my eyes drifted closed, a replay of our motions at the wedding. His lips got closer, my breath coming out in hurried puffs as I felt his breath on my face. A heavy pause filled the space, disappointment filling me as I realized he wasn’t going to kiss me like I thought.
“Riley,” he said, making my eyes open. His face was right in front of me, level with mine. His navy eyes bore straight through my body. I’d never known a feeling of being devoured by a man’s eyes until that moment. He glanced down over me, my flesh heating with every flicker of his eyes. When they met mine again I knew I’d do anything he asked, and that one day he’d destroy me.
“Riley? Can I kiss you?” he whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear.
My tongue slicked my lips and pulled my lower lip in as I nodded. His eyes widened and focused on my lips. He moved closer, his body brushing against mine from our shoulders to our knees. His fingers tightened against the back of my neck, sending a rush of pleasure through me. My eyes fell closed as his lips touched mine.
His lips were soft and gentle, which surprised me. I’d always imagined Connor would be a dominant sort of kisser, someone who took control and charged his way in. The tenderness he used turned me on more than I expected, making my panties a little wet, especially when his tongue brushed against my lips.
My lips parted, accepting his invitation and returning it with my own. Our tongues glided together, teasing, learning, tasting. Coffee hinted his breath, and he smelled like some expensive cologne that I wasn’t familiar with. His tongue was rough within my mouth and made me think about what it would feel like elsewhere on my body. Just the idea had me clenching my thighs together and clinging to him like he was my lifeline.
He groaned and deepened our kiss, his tongue plunging in and out of my mouth as his hips ground into mine. A thick, hard shaft pressed against my belly. His hand went to my waist, holding me to him. The wall closed in on me, hard against my back, and Connor leaned into me, his hands reaching for mine and pinning them to the wall.
He assaulted my mouth, although I was completely willing. My body arched toward him, hungry for more. He smiled against my lips and pulled back, just enough for our mouths to disengage. “Go to dinner with me,” he whispered, his lips brushing mine when he spoke.
“Okay,” I answered, my head spinning from the lack of oxygen and from the impact of his kiss.
“I’ll call you. Friday night, okay?”
I nodded. He pressed one more kiss to my lips, my body heating up again from the touch of his lips. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to make me want more. He pulled back and glanced away, his eyes falling on the clock. “You need to open. Give me your number so I can see you Friday.”
I programmed my number into his phone then followed him out of my office. I let him out, which he thanked me for with a wink. I watched as he walked across the empty parking lot to his car, then went back to my office, reliving every second he was there.
Until I saw the pink box from Bite Me! that he somehow snuck in without me noticing.
I needed a break. Yeah, I’d just gotten to work, but I needed to talk. Thankfully, Carrie agreed to come over for lunch so I just had to get through a couple hours before I could tell her what happened.
I went out into the store and got the register ready. Before long a customer wandered in. She wove through the aisles of the store, buying three books then leaving. With the store empty I decided I could work on the latest of my projects.
A local writers group had an article published in the paper over the weekend. They’d been meeting monthly for a couple of years and were trying to bring attention to who they were with a group event including a reading from a few members, a book signing, and an author Q&A. I loved attending events like that as a reader, but as a book store owner, hosting them could be even better.
I looked up the information I had on the group and found that a few of them were authors I’d been stocking books for already. They were popular with my customers so I knew an event would be a big draw.
A few clicks later and I had an email address for the president of the group, a woman named Marj Underwood. I wrote up an email asking her if I could come and speak to the group sometime, detailing my idea to host them at READ sometime, and telling her I was stocking her books in the store. I hoped it would be a good opportunity for all of us.
The door chimed when I clicked send and I went to help the new customer, a woman looking for some children’s books for her niece and nephew.
“My niece is three and she loves these books,” I told her as I handed over a brightly colored book with a little girl dressed in all pink.
The woman turned the book over and read the description, laughing along the way. “This sounds really cute. Are there a bunch of them?”
I nodded and showed her the display. “Yep, tons. For a girl who loves pink, they’re cute. As for boys, especially a six year old, we have some like this.” I handed over a book about superheroes. “At six some kids are starting to read chapter books, but a lot of kids still like the books full of pictures.”
The woman laughed. “That sounds like my nephew. He’s very visual and needs something that paints him a picture as much as tells him a story. He’s starting to get into comic books, if you can believe it.”
I shook my head. “I’m not surprised. Comic books are still fairly popular, even if they’re not as mainstream as they once were. We don’t get a lot of requests for them here, but there’s a good local store a few streets over.”
“Oh, that’s good to know. I’ll have to check that out too. And tell my sister. She’s always looking for something that he’ll read, anything that will improve his skills.”
I nodded. “I understand. My sister already worries because her three year old isn’t reciting letters and numbers and colors like she thinks she should. I don’t have kids so I don’t know when they learn all that, but I keep reminding her that she’ll learn.”
She laughed. “Yep, eventually they all learn. This is great. I really appreciate your help.”
We chatted as we walked to the register and I rang her up. She thanked me and left just a few minutes before Carrie walked in. Her wavy brown hair trailed
behind her as the wind from the outside whipped around her head. Pink cheeks and bright hazel eyes gave Carrie a unique look, a little mischievous, a lot beautiful.
Yeah, Carrie was plump too, but she wore it well, not letting her extra weight be a noose around her neck like I sometimes felt mine was. Not Carrie though. She always dressed in colors and styles that complimented her figure. Where I struggled to find anything that fit me well, and therefore made a lot of my clothes, Carrie always ended up in something fabulous.
Her eyes scanned the store quickly and found me practically running toward her. A smile crossed her lips, and I could see the tension around her eyes fade away. Carrie loved parts of her job, but she hated her boss. Beth the Bitch was a challenge every day for Carrie, someone who was normally so full of life. Carrie was one of those women who kept a lot hidden, not admitting her true feelings. I knew she wanted to be a mom more than anything else, but she didn’t talk about it much. She buried her desires, as though if she didn’t talk about it, it would hurt less.
I saw the tension in her eyes every day and the sadness behind that. She wanted out from under Beth the Bitch but didn’t have anywhere to go. More than that, she wished for love that would change everything for her. Love that would bring her everything she’d ever wished for.
Everything we all wished for.
I hugged my friend and thanked her for coming to see me, then dragged her back to my office, her laughter ringing out through the deserted store.
“Okay,” Carrie laughed when we got into my office. “I see you’re desperate to have me alone, but you know I don’t go that way.”
“Connor kissed me.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I know,” she said slowly. “We talked about it last night.”
I shook my head, everything getting muddled together. “This morning. He was here when I got here. We talked and he kissed me.”
“Eeek,” Carrie screeched. “He came back. How was it?”
“Aaah,” I moaned as I slid down in my chair. “Amazing.”
“Damn. I’m so jealous. Okay, tell me everything.”
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