“Thanks,” I finally whispered. “So do you,” I told him honestly. He was wearing a navy jacket that made his eyes looks darker, or maybe that was the desire I saw reflected at me. Shit, that made me want to drag him inside and forget dinner.
Dark blue pants covered his long legs and matching shoes made him look every bit the stylish man he was. Damn, he really was out of my league. Where I’d struggled to pull together an outfit that would be acceptable for the restaurant, Connor apparently had plenty of options.
Pushing aside my worries, I let him lead me out to his car. He opened the door and waited for me to get inside, the car still running, the heat erasing the cold of the walk from the front door.
On the drive to Kobe we exchanged small talk, a bit about our days and wondering when the cold weather would start to ease up. It was slightly uncomfortable, especially when silence fell between us. I started to wonder if going out with him was a good idea regardless of how hot he was.
At the restaurant he opened my car door again and guided me inside with a warm hand resting on the center of my lower back. He helped me remove my coat for the coat check - holy crap the place was pricey! Once my outfit was exposed Connor blew out a deep breath and whispered, “Damn.”
I turned to see him clutching my jacket, his eyes roving my body and blazing my skin. “Jesus, you need to keep this on,” he growled, thrusting my jacket back at me.
“What, why?”
“Because every man in here is going to want to take you home.”
I rolled my eyes. “You worry too much. No one’s even going to notice me.”
His eyes scalded my body as he looked me up and down slowly all over again. When they finally met mine I saw raw lust in his gaze. A sight that not only shocked me but nearly made me moan with desire. Connor shoved my coat at the woman behind the coat check desk and snatched the ticket from her hand before guiding me, warm hand blazing my back again, to the hostess stand.
“Connor Lee. Party of two,” he growled at the hostess. She smiled at him and led us to our table.
I looked around as we walked, taking in the opulence of the place. Dark merlot colored walls deepened the tone of the place. Overhead pendant lights glimmered softly while lamps cast a romantic glow over each intimate table. White linens brought a lightness to the atmosphere and fully set tables complete with gold embossed chargers, gold ringed glasses, and gold cutlery gave an air of elegance that bordered on exorbitance.
I felt insanely out of place walking through there. And when Connor stopped to shake hands with not one, but four different people on the way to our table, I wondered what in the hell I was doing there.
We finally made it to our seats after what felt like a ten minute walk. Connor was beaming and looking around, trying to see how many other people he could speak to. I sat beside him trying to hide behind the enormous black leather menu. Many of the options were steak or other forms of meat. I liked meat, but a dinner like that meant something. And I wasn’t sure if Connor was going to expect a return on his investment.
Not that he was paying that much attention to me.
I searched the menu as Connor searched the restaurant. He waved to people and schmoozed from his seat, and ignored me. I tried to reason with myself that he was something of a celebrity, but still… We were out on a date. Didn’t that mean he should pay attention to me?
In an effort to make the most of the situation I found something that I thought might be affordable - there were no prices on the menu - and tried to push away the anxiety that was seeping further and further into me. We hadn’t even ordered drinks yet and I was wondering how long the date would be.
We ordered dinner, a steak for Connor and a chicken dinner for me, and the waiter brought our drinks. Connor lifted his glass of scotch to my wine for a toast. “To new beginnings,” he said, “and second chances.”
He looked so sincere I decided to give him another second chance. The restaurant wasn’t my style, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t nice. If it was what Connor liked, the type of place he enjoyed, I could give it a chance. After all, he’d brought me cupcakes from Bite Me! twice. Any relationship involved give and take.
“Do you come here a lot?” I asked in an effort to get to know him.
Connor shrugged. “I guess. They have the best steaks in town. Plus it’s a great place to network. With my job I find the more people I know the better my job goes. It’s sort of dependent on having people who are willing to talk to me.”
I nodded, trying to understand a life where I had to be in the spotlight constantly and always kissing everyone’s ass. At READ, we lived by the old adage ‘the customer is always right’ but it never meant we sucked up to them. Treat people with respect? Of course. But kissing ass? Not gonna happen.
“Tell me more about your job. A radio show for men, right?”
Connor sipped his scotch and nodded. “Yep. It’s basically a chance for guys to talk about the stuff we care about. I talk about sports a lot, but on Wednesdays we spend the time talking about women. It’s a fun chance to have that locker room talk with whoever calls in.”
I didn’t want to let on I’d listened to his show the one day. With the name of the show being No Girls Allowed I was fairly certain it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to share that I’d considered listening on the mornings I was up early, not that there were many. It felt like I was spying on him if I listened to his show.
“Locker room talk? Seriously? Can you talk about stuff like that on the radio?”
He laughed, a deep sound that vibrated through me. “We don’t talk about anything graphic. We use euphemisms for anything that we can’t say and the show is on a two minute delay just in case someone calls in and says something they aren’t allowed to say live. It’s a pretty good gig.”
He paused as someone approached the table. The man was older, maybe in his 50’s, and the woman on his arm was closer to my age. She looked like she could be his daughter but I knew that wasn’t the case.
“Roger, Monique, nice to see you both,” Connor said, standing to shake Roger’s hand and kiss Monique on the cheek. She held on to his arm a little too long for my comfort, but Connor didn’t seem put off by her at all.
“Connor, good to see you. Great show this morning. Enjoying your evening?”
“I am. This is Riley Williams. Riley works at READ. We went to high school together.”
“Ah, how charming,” Roger said, barely glancing at me besides a nod in my general direction. I couldn’t have felt more invisible if I were.
Connor and Roger talked for a few more minutes, discussing the football games coming up that weekend. They disagreed over who was going to win but ended their conversation with a handshake and an agreement to talk next week. Roger ignored me, but Monique managed to send me plenty of icy glares. As she walked away she kissed Connor’s cheek, her lips leaving a dark red stain on his skin. She waved and winked at him, again making me feel invisible.
Connor carried on as though they’d never come over. I guess I should have been grateful, but instead I felt cheated. Throughout the rest of dinner people stopped by to talk or he went to other tables. I ate my dinner in near silence as Connor sucked up to everyone in the restaurant. He introduced me, but I felt more like an accessory than a date.
By the time he dropped me off, the only part of the date I enjoyed was the kiss he gave me on my front porch. A kiss I knew I’d never experience again.
Twelve
Two days later I walked up the driveway to my parents’ house. I hadn’t heard from Connor, but I didn’t expect to. I was certain he’d enjoyed the date as much as I had, which was not at all. I hated to say that, but honestly, a date with Connor Lee was nothing like I’d hoped it would be.
“Hello!” I called out as I pushed open the familiar red door. My parents still lived in the house I grew up in. They’d been talking about downsizing for a few months, but they hadn’t listed the house yet. I knew it was a big house for them to keep up,
but it was home. It would be hard for me when my parents sold the house.
“In here!” my mom’s voice answered. I followed the sound to the kitchen and found my mom and sisters standing around the island talking. I hugged each of them.
“Where are the kids?” I asked.
Jamie, who was younger than me by two years, got married to her high school sweetheart when they were in college. They didn’t waste any time having kids, already having a three year old daughter and a one year old son at 26.
“Playing with Dad and Chase,” Jamie answered. My sister had gained weight after she’d had the two kids, but she was still beautiful. Her blonde hair was a few shades lighter than mine and hung low on her back in soft waves. She had kind green eyes and a smile for everyone. I often wondered how she stayed smiling through sleepless nights and screaming kids, but she did.
“How’s Chase doing?” I asked Jamie. Chase was almost like a little brother to me. He and Jamie had been together for so long that we knew Chase almost as well as we knew each other.
Jamie grinned. “He’s doing good.”
I nodded, happy things were going well for their family. I couldn’t help worrying about my sisters. Even though we were all adults, I was still the oldest and would do anything for my sisters if they needed it.
“How are you, Soph?” I asked my youngest sister. Sophie was the free spirit in the family. She had short dark hair, usually dyed a funky color. This week it was a deep, rich purple color which made her brown eyes look brighter. Sophie had gone to school for computer design and embraced the geeky world, as she called it, she was a part of. She impressed the hell out of me.
Sophie flashed me a grin and leaned over to steal a red bell pepper Mom had on the counter. “Good. I’m working on a new project right now, not that work knows about it.”
I laughed at my talented sister. She and some coworkers would get different ideas and work them out to see if they could make things happen. They’d developed apps together, created video games, and come up with some pretty fabulous ideas they were working to get implemented in different industries that she wouldn’t talk about.
I just liked books.
“How can I help, Mom?”
My mom was the best cook ever. I knew I was biased, but she was the reason I was plump. Not that I’d tell her that.
“I think we’re about ready to eat. Will you go tell Dad, Chase, and the kids to come in here?”
I nodded and left the room to find the others. As expected, they were parked in front of the TV. What wasn’t expected was they were watching a Nick Jr. show. I recognized it from some of the books we stocked, but I’d never watched an episode. I filed the information away for later since I was always looking for gifts for the kids.
“Mom says dinner’s ready,” I said as I leaned down to kiss my dad on the cheek. Chase stood and hugged me. “How’s everything going?” I asked him.
“Good,” Chase said, but didn’t elaborate. He and Dad scooped up the kids and turned off the TV. We all met in the dining room where Mom, Sophie, and Jamie were setting serving dishes on the table.
“This looks wonderful, sweetheart,” my dad said as he took his seat at the head of the table. Mom sat at the other end and winked at him.
Chase sat next to Dad with Sophie next to him and me on her other side. Jamie sat between the two kids on the other side of the table and immediately started cutting up their food. We all passed dishes around the table, filling our plates with roasted chicken, brown sugar carrots, broccoli, homemade macaroni and cheese, and fresh bread.
Was it any wonder I was plump?
“This is so good, Mom,” Sophie groaned beside me. I knew she existed on candy bars and pop most of the time. She lived for Sunday dinners at Mom and Dad’s house. Sophie never liked to cook, but then again, I wasn’t all that into it either.
“How’s work going, Riley?” my dad asked. He was always worried about us having enough money. My parents helped us all get our degrees, but once we finished college we were on our own. I paid for my Master’s degree, but I knew I was further ahead than a lot of others my age.
My sisters were the same.
“Work’s going great,” I said honestly. I wanted to tell them all about my loan and buying READ, but I felt like I was going to jinx it if I talked about it too much. I’d let them know once I got the official approval letter instead of just the pre-approval.
“How about you Sophie?”
“Good. Doing a new project that’s really cool,” Sophie said around a bite of mac and cheese.
Dad moved down the line to Chase next. “Chase?”
Chase focused on the kids and I wondered if something was going on. Jamie hadn’t said anything, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a problem. “Work is going well. Very well. We’re having a good year.”
Chase sounded normal so I chalked up his odd behavior as my imagination.
We all ate quietly. like we usually did. I didn’t realize families talked a lot during dinner until I went to a friend’s house in high school. Our dinners had always been quiet. My parents liked to know we were eating well and didn’t like us fighting during dinner. It was hard with three girls to avoid constant fights, but dinner was one of those times we all understood you didn’t argue.
When dinner was done the sound returned to the house. Skyla, my three year old niece, ran off to watch TV again. Grayson, Jamie’s one year old, clung to her leg, making it impossible for her to help clean up the dishes.
“Go sit Jamie,” Mom told her. “We’ll take care of everything.”
Jamie reluctantly agreed, accepting she had no choice. Sophie, Chase, and I picked up plates and followed Mom into the kitchen. Chase and Sophie shuttled plates back and forth while Mom and I filled the sink with hot soapy water and started to wash. When all the plates were in the kitchen the other two disappeared, giving me time alone with Mom.
“How are you, Riley?” she asked as though she knew there was something going on that I wasn’t talking about.
I thought about telling Mom about my date with Connor Lee the other night, but I decided not to. I’d never see him again and there was no reason for me to bring him up like Mom would ever meet him.
But I did want to tell her about READ.
“Pam and George are retiring,” I confessed. “I’ve been pre-approved to buy READ.”
“Oh, Riley, that’s great news. You’ve always loved reading.”
I nodded. Mom had caught me reading with a flashlight on under the covers many times when I was a kid. I’m sure she hated that I wasn’t going to sleep like I was supposed to, but all that reading led to a career and my own business.
“I still do love to read. It comes in handy working in a book store. When customers come in it’s easy to recommend something when I’ve already read the books they’re considering.”
Mom smiled and passed me one of the serving dishes to dry. “Why didn’t you tell everyone at dinner? Don’t tell me you girls are still nervous about talking at dinner.”
I grinned back and shook my head. “No. It wasn’t that at all. Honestly I wasn’t going to tell any of you. I just met with the bank on Friday. Nothing is official yet so I’m nervous about sharing the details right now.”
“You know we’ll all support you, Riley.”
I nodded. “I know, Mom. I can always count on you guys. I guess I’m just afraid to jinx the whole thing. It sounds silly, I know.”
Mom shook her head. “Nothing is silly, sweetheart. Not if it means something to you. I’m very proud of you. I always wondered if you would move over to a library like you always said you wanted to do, but I think READ is the perfect place for you. You’ll do wonderful there.”
“Thanks, Mom. Hey, is everything okay with Chase? He seemed like something was bothering him.”
Mom smiled and glanced behind us toward the living room. “Don’t say anything, but Jamie told me they’re trying for another baby. She always wanted three or four kids, and she
wanted them close together. With Grayson already a year old, Jamie wants to get pregnant sooner rather than later. She said they’ve been trying for a few months. She’s getting discouraged since she got pregnant so easily with the other two.”
My heart sunk for my sister. Jamie was like Carrie. She knew she wanted to be a mom. She went to college because my parents wanted us to all get an education, but Jamie knew she’d never use her degree. When she had both her kids she was like Mother Nature, adjusting to parenthood easier than anyone I’d ever seen. It amazed me how calm she always was with the kids and how easily she took all the craziness that came with kids in stride.
But if she wanted another child and they were having trouble I knew Jamie would be beating herself up about it. Part of me wanted to try to talk to her about it, but Jamie wouldn’t be happy with Mom for telling me what was going on. We all turned to Mom when something was going on, and we all knew Mom would only share if she was really worried.
Which meant she was worried about Jamie and Chase.
“Hopefully it’ll happen soon. She’s still young. Maybe she’s stressing herself out too much.”
Mom laughed. “You know Jamie. She has her timeline and she expects things to meet it. I have no doubt she’s stressing about all this.”
I agreed with Mom and we switched topics as we finished the dishes. When everything was dry and put away we joined the others in the living room. We all sat and watched the show that had the kids mesmerized. When I started to doze off, I knew it was time to go home.
Jeez, I was getting old.
At home I curled up in my library with a book and stayed up a few more hours, enjoying my reading time and wondering how I could help my sister.
Thirteen
By Tuesday I realized there was nothing I could do for Jamie except wait. I didn’t like being helpless, but the more Jamie talked about things, the more she worried about them. Calling her up was not going to make things better.
Connor still hadn’t been in touch, making it four whole days of silence. It stung, but it was for the best. I wasn’t cut out for a world of ass-kissing and expensive dinners just so you could be seen. I preferred my ordinary nights with my friends or a good book.
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