I told Carrie how Connor scared me waiting outside then we talked and finally how he kissed me senseless. When I was finished her bowl of soup was gone and my sandwich was untouched. “What should I do?”
Carrie gawked at me, confusion and astonishment on her face. “What do you mean, what should you do? You should go out with him and screw his brains out. You should have the best sex of your life after the best kiss of your life. You should let him treat you like the princess you are.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m no princess. And I don’t want him to treat me like one. I’ve seen enough Disney movies to know they’re all fictional. I just want a guy who’s kind and is going to respect me, not someone who’s going to try to impress me or try to change me. I want someone I can be myself around.”
“Where is he taking you?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. He said he’d call me. He wants to go out Friday night.”
Carrie clapped her hands excitedly. “Good, then we have time to go shopping! Tomorrow, after work. Beth the Bitch has me working late tonight, but tomorrow, you’re all mine. We’re going to make you look hot!”
“Gee, thanks,” I droned, not at all excited about going shopping. The only stores that had clothes in my size seemed to think the only women who’d buy them were 80 years old and liked high waisted, stretchy pants and shirts that had no shape or style. Trudging through store after store and finding nothing that looked decent or made me feel good was not my idea of a fun afternoon.
Ten
Carrie surprised me when we went shopping. I found a few things that fit well and worked for me. Since I rarely splurged on clothes I bought more than I probably should have, but it was worth it.
To justify my spending I also bought an outfit I could wear for my meeting with the banker, Marshall. I was anxious about the whole thing, but I knew feeling good in what I wore was going to help me be confident in the meeting.
Friday morning Pam and George agreed to cover the store for the morning so I could go to the bank. I headed in early, first thing at nine o’clock, and waited for my appointment. I had all my documents printed out with duplicates for me so I knew everything they had. I was as ready as I could be.
An older man with a gray suit came out and called my name. He had short, thinning hair that looked like it was dark when it was longer. He had a pair of wire-rimmed glasses over kind blue eyes and a welcoming smile. He shook my hand with a firm grip and gestured toward his office.
“You know Brady Wright, I hear,” Marshall said when we were seated.
“Yes, I do. Brady married my friend, Sam, last weekend.”
“Ah, excellent. I haven’t seen Brady in a few months, but that’s good. I’m glad he’s found some happiness in his life. He was a very serious guy.”
I nodded in agreement.
“So what have you brought me today? You said you want to buy a bookstore?”
“Yes,” I said calmly, trying to reduce my blood pressure before my head exploded. I was more nervous than I thought I’d be. The man in front of me meant the difference between seeing my dreams come true and watching them vanish into thin air. I just hoped I didn’t throw up on him. “I have all the paperwork I think I need. The bookstore is called READ. It’s a small, locally owned bookstore in the center of town.”
“And it’s for sale?”
“Well, sort of. I work there now and my bosses are retiring. They approached me about buying it before they were going to market it for sale. Since I want it, we’re hoping we can go through with the sale without them needing to shop it around. Brick-and-mortar bookstores aren’t exactly in high demand right now.”
Marshall cocked an eyebrow at me and nodded. “What paperwork do you have for me?”
I handed over the folder I’d put together for the bank. I had no idea if it was enough, but Andy assured me it was a good start. He went over all the details the day before, everything from my business plan to my personal financial statements, to make sure I had everything they could possibly need.
Marshall studied the folder, flipping pages then going back to the front of the file and starting all over again. When he reached the end for the second time he bunched the papers together and tapped them on his desk to get them all back in order.
“You’ve done a lot of work on this, Ms. Williams. This is what you really want?”
“Yes,” I answered calmly. My desire for READ was the only thing I was sure of. “I’ve always loved to read and dreamed of working in a library. When I started working at READ, seven years ago, I fell in love with the place. I’ve moved from being a salesperson to manager. My bosses rely on me to take care of the place when they go on vacation. I have a bachelor’s degree in business, and I know I can run a business.”
“You sound very passionate about this, Ms. Williams.”
I nodded. “I am. Reading is something that’s important to me. I’ve always loved to read. Being able to bring that opportunity to others has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. If I can’t do it with READ I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.”
Marshall regarded me closely for a minute as if he was trying to decide if I was telling the truth. Finally he nodded and turned to his computer. “Well, I already pulled up your accounts. With your permission I’ll run your credit as well. It looks as if you have a sizable chunk in your savings. Are you planning to use all of that for the purchase?”
“Yes, that’s my intention. I own my house and don’t need a new car. I’d like to keep some money in savings for a safety net, but I don’t intend to fail. READ will continue to grow and succeed. I’ll make sure of it.”
“You know, Ms. Williams, I think you will. Are you intending to leverage your home as well to help with the loan?”
I shook my head. “I’d rather not. It’s a small house and wasn’t very expensive so I don’t think I have enough equity in it to really matter. Plus, putting up my house is not something I’m really comfortable with. I won’t fail, but I also won’t feel secure knowing my house is at stake.”
Marshall nodded in agreement. At least I thought he was agreeing with me. “Well, looking at all this, and assuming I can run your credit.”
“Yes, of course.”
“Thank you. With that, I believe it’ll be pretty straightforward to do this loan. Your savings is enough of a downpayment for us to consider you a reasonable investment. If the value you’ve given us holds then we won’t have any trouble securing your loan. Give me a minute to access your credit reports and we’ll start working on some of the details.”
I nodded but inside I was freaking out.
He was going to give me the loan.
He was going to give me the loan!
Holy shit. I was going to own READ!
Marshall tapped the keys and focused on his computer while I had a minor panic attack. It was all happening. I was going to own READ. I was going to be able to do everything I’d ever dreamed. No one would be able to tell me I couldn’t do something. I wouldn’t have to ask permission.
Not that Pam and George had told me no that often. They were on board with almost everything I’d ever wanted to do. Some of the bigger ideas I’d had, some of the crazier ones, they’d disagreed with, not wanting to take as much risk.
Owning READ, I could make the call. Standing on the other side of things I understood a little better their hesitation to take more risk, but I also knew without big risks you didn’t get big rewards.
Marshall stopped tapping the keyboard and looked up at me. “Your credit scores are amazing. Easily top 10%. That makes you a very good investment. With all the details you’ve given me about the store, I have no problem giving you a pre-approval letter. I’ll need more details from the current owners, but unless something major changes, I see no reason why we won’t give you the money.”
“Thank you so much,” I gushed. I knew I’d worked hard, but hearing that it had paid off was almost more than I could take. My eyes stung, but I couldn�
�t cry there. I had to hold it together until I was out of his office.
Marshall stood and shook my hand. “You’re welcome, Ms. Williams. We’ll meet again in a couple weeks with everything. I’ll have my supervisor review it all too, which is standard, but it’s rare that he would deny someone like you. I think you’re all set.”
“I really appreciate it. So much. I look forward to working with you.”
Marshall nodded and I left his office, my pre-approval letter in hand.
As soon as I got to my car I let the tears fall. I was so excited and I couldn’t wait to turn READ into exactly what I want it to be. Mine.
I reached into my purse and grabbed my phone. I had to share my news with someone. I thought about calling one of my sisters or my parents, but I didn’t want to tell any of them until I knew for sure it was a done deal. So I called Carrie.
“How was the meeting?” she said when she answered the phone in a whisper. I knew it meant her boss was there and I had to keep the conversation short. And be willing to wait it out if Carrie had to drop her phone in her desk drawer.
“I got pre-approved,” I tried not to shout but my excitement came across in my voice.
“Eek,” Carrie screamed quietly. “Congratulations!”
“Thanks. I can’t believe it’s actually going to happen.”
“You so deserve it, Riles. That’s such great news. I knew you were going-“
The clink of the phone hitting the metal bottom of her desk drawer rang in my ear. I heard muffled voices, one instructing Carrie and the other Carrie’s. I felt bad for my friend. If everything went through I could offer her a job at READ, but I knew she wouldn’t take it. I couldn’t pay her enough to make it worth her while, but I wished I could.
“Okay, I’m back,” Carrie said a minute later. “Sorry. She’s gone now, off to some important meeting. Maybe you can hire me when you take over READ.”
“I was just thinking about the same thing,” I confessed. “I’m not sure I could pay you enough though.”
“Yeah, I know,” Carrie replied. She wanted away from Beth the Bitch so bad that I wondered if she might actually consider working for READ just so she could get away, even with the pay cut. I didn’t think she’d ever actually do it, but the longer she had to suffer the more likely she’d jump ship without a raft.
“Maybe something else will come along,” I offered, hoping Carrie would find something before too long. “You never know when the right thing will come along.”
Carrie sighed. “Yeah, I know. If I don’t keep looking I’ll never find what I want. Let’s talk about something else though. I’m getting depressed and Beth the Bitch is gone. This is my time to be happy about my job. Ooh, isn’t tonight your date with Connor?”
I groaned. I was looking forward to the date, but he’d told me to dress up because we were going to Kobe, the only fancy steak restaurant in Winterville. I’d never been but had heard the food was amazing. Still, fancy restaurants weren’t usually places I frequented, both for financial reasons and for comfort reasons. I’d rather curl up on the couch with a good book or a good movie and a pizza.
But it was Connor, so I was going.
“Yeah,” I told Carrie. “He’s taking me to Kobe.”
“Ooh… oh. Wait. It sounds like a good idea, but that’s so not right for you. Why would he take you there?”
I sighed. “I told you this wasn’t going to work, Care. We don’t know each other at all.”
“Riles, no one knows each other before a first date. Going to high school together doesn’t make that any different. If you’d dated before and he was your high school sweetheart, it still wouldn’t mean he would know everything about you. Haven’t you changed since high school?”
“Um, no.”
Carrie snorted. “Really? Not at all?”
“Let’s see… Plump? Yep. Read constantly? Yep. Single? Yep. Nothing’s changed.”
“Come on Riles. You’re exactly the same? I find that hard to believe. You own your own home. You have a job you love. You have a pretty spectacular best friend…”
“Ha ha. Okay, there are some minor differences, but even in high school I would rather spend my weekends reading a book than going out drinking. I guess I drink more now than I ever did then.”
Carrie snorted again. “Well, considering you’re always my DD, I wonder about that one. Not that I’m complaining. Okay, so you haven’t changed. Give Connor a chance. You might love it there. Wear the black skirt you got yesterday and that green babydoll top.”
“Ugh. You know how I feel about wearing a skirt.”
“Yes, I know. It’s like walking around with sandpaper between your legs. That’s why I told you to get those thigh highs and the garter belt. You’ll look hot and you’ll feel sexy.”
“I’m still not sure about all that,” I admitted. I’d never worn a garter belt and thought Carrie was joking when she handed me one, but she wasn’t. I didn’t even know how to put it on.
“Trust me. I’m always in a skirt. It’ll make you actually like wearing skirts.”
It was my turn to snort. “Yeah, I doubt that.”
“Try it, Riles. Just for tonight. You’ll feel out of place in Kobe. I know you. Wear the sexy stuff and you’ll be a lot more comfortable.”
“Or more uncomfortable.”
Carrie groaned. “If you hate it, I’ll buy it off you. How about that?”
“Fine,” I acquiesced. “Get back to work before Beth the Bitch comes back.”
“Bleh. Okay. Enjoy your date tonight. Even if you don’t have a great time at least you’ll have a delicious dinner and sexy scenery to celebrate your good news.”
I smiled, thinking again of READ. “Very true,” I agreed.
Eleven
Connor said he’d pick me up at seven, giving me plenty of time after work. I took a long shower, making sure to shave every area of my body. Well, not between my legs. Let’s be honest, shaving down there was an acrobatic maneuver for anyone, but at my size it became something that only those from Cirque du Soleil could make happen.
Lexi and Mandy were constantly trying to convince the rest of us to go for a wax, but I hadn’t worked up the nerve yet. If Connor had a problem with hair down there, well, then he’d have two choices, build a bridge and get over it, or move on.
Not that he’d get any sneak peaks on the first date. Or the second, probably not the third either.
Black panties, black garter belt, black bra, and nude stockings got me started after my shower. I stood in front of my closet dressed like that, contemplating my options. Carrie wanted me to wear my new clothes. I knew she was probably right, but I still hesitated. Would it seem like I was trying too hard? Was I?
My phone beeped with an incoming text. Abandoning my decision-making I read the text from Carrie.
New black skirt, green babydoll top, black boots, and silver jewelry. Have fun!
I smiled at my phone and shook my head. She knew me too well. I texted her back that I would call her later, and my phone rang. “Yes?” I answered her call.
“You are not going to call me later! You are going to be wrapped in that sexy man’s sheets later. Call me tomorrow.”
I rolled my eyes and went back to my closet, finally pulling out the outfit she suggested. “I’m not going home with him and you know it.”
“Why not?” Carrie argued. “He’s gorgeous and he wants you. He’s made it clear he wants you, why wouldn’t you go home with him?”
“I don’t know,” I said softly.
“You still don’t trust him, do you? You still think it’s all a trick or something.”
I shrugged, my throat closing up with the thought of Connor playing me.
“Riles, listen. I don’t know this guy, but I know men. Men don’t bring cupcakes and muffins to women they don’t like. They don’t take women out for fancy dinners if they don’t like them. And they never apologize unless they really mean it. Connor is not playing you. He likes you. Sto
p questioning it and enjoy.”
“I’ll try. Alright, let me go so I can get dressed.”
“You’re wearing the outfit I said, right?”
“Yes, mom,” I teased.
“If your mom has ever dressed you to help you get laid she’s much cooler than I ever thought.”
I laughed with Carrie and promised to call her the next day.
I shrugged into my outfit and went to the bathroom to fix my hair and make-up. With my hair dried straight and my make-up a little darker than I would normally wear, I felt ready to go. In my living room, where I could watch for Connor to arrive, I nervously picked at my nails. Knots tied my stomach up as the minutes ticked by. I didn’t know if I wanted him to show up or not. If he didn’t then it would be over, and I’d be able to put him behind me, even though it would hurt. If he did show up, then I would have to live another day thinking maybe, just maybe, he liked me.
Was it possible?
When his Charger pulled into my driveway I couldn’t deny the thrill of excitement that pulsed through me. He came. He was actually there to take me out. I was going on a date with Connor Lee.
I slowly got my coat on, noting that it covered my skirt and the tops of my boots. I buttoned the oversized buttons carefully, my hands trembling with nerves and titillation. The shrill sound of the doorbell startled me even though I knew it was coming. I shook the nerves off and opened the door.
Damn.
Connor’s blue eyes were brighter than the stars hovering overhead. They heated, turning navy in an instant when he saw my boots disappearing under my jacket. His hands lifted, reaching for me, but paused mid-air as though he realized he was going to touch me without asking first, or knowing if I wanted it.
My pulsed kicked up and I smiled shyly at him, wishing he’d reached for me, but also glad he didn’t. It was our first date. Yeah, we’d already kissed, twice, but it was still a first date.
“You look beautiful,” Connor said, leaning in to kiss my cheek. His hand sought mine while his lips lingered on my skin, neither of us wanting to break away from the moment.
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