Minor Demons

by Randall J. Morris

  When Leech entered the temptation trial room, the door shut behind him. On the table in the middle of the room was a file. Leech sighed, picked up the file, and started reading.

  CHAPTER 15

  Leech read the file three times before he decided on a plan. His fake human was named Bill Adams. 34 years old, divorced, no kids. He worked in IT for a small company. Under his personality traits, Leech found the angle he hoped to work. Most of it seemed like fairly useless information, but he hoped that two words listed there would be his way through the trial. Aggressive driver. Leech wasn’t entirely sure what exactly that entailed, but he hoped it meant that he swore, cut people off, and exhibited all sorts of other unsafe driving habits. Maybe Baal had rigged this one for him. He was about to find out.

  Leech placed the file back on the table and rang the buzzer by the door.

  “I’m ready.”

  The door opened and Leech stepped into a small two-bedroom apartment. Bill was getting ready for work. Leech could hear him singing along with the radio as he shaved.

  It was time to set the stage. Leech began looking for Bill’s wallet and keys. When he found them, he hid the keys under a couch cushion and put the wallet on Bill’s kitchen counter. He hoped that if Bill was stalled while getting ready for work, his aggressive driving habits would become even worse as he made up for lost time.

  Bill exited the bathroom and went to grab his wallet and keys. After he checked the table where he had set them and looked under the table, he slowly turned his head to look at the ceiling and then slowly cursed the day.

  “God... damn... it.”

  Leech could hear what Bill was thinking.

  I can’t be late to work again. I’m one late day away from getting fired!

  A grin spread over Leech’s face. This was even better. Bill was going to have to speed to get there in time. Leech decided to tell Bill where his missing items were so that Bill would trust his suggestions later on.

  “The keys are under the couch cushion.”

  Bill stood there for a moment, wondering where the thought had come from. His blank stare left his face as he decided he didn’t really care and that the couch was as good a place as any to find his keys. Within a minute of searching the couch, he had his keys in his hand.

  “Weird. They must have fallen in there when I was watching TV.”

  Leech then gave Bill the final piece of information that he needed.

  “Your wallet is on the kitchen counter.”

  Bill looked confused.

  “That’s a weird thought. I haven’t even been in the kitchen this morning. Why would my wallet be in there?”

  Leech’s grin was brought down by sheer panic. He had just assumed that Bill ate breakfast. Maybe there was something in the file that he had overlooked.

  As Leech searched the kitchen, he realized his error. Nothing was out of place. There were no dirty dishes in the sink. Apparently, Bill didn’t eat breakfast. He searched the room to find a reason for Bill’s wallet to be in there. He saw plastic bags in the garbage can and decided to play a hunch.

  “You left your wallet on the counter after you brought the groceries into the kitchen last night.”

  Bill fought the thought for a moment.

  I thought I had my wallet after that. I thought I left it with my keys.

  Leech responded, “Well it wasn’t in the couch. Might as well check the kitchen counter.”

  Bill started moving towards the kitchen and found his wallet on the counter where Leech had put it. Leech briefly worried that he would question the situation further, but Bill simply put the wallet in his pocket, grabbed a coat, and ran out the door. Leech followed.

  When Leech made it to the garage, he laughed out loud. No wonder Bill was an aggressive driver. When he got in his car, he must have thought he was better than everyone else. Bill drove a black 2010 Corvette. It must have been his prized possession because nothing else in the house seemed to be worth much and Leech had read that Corvettes could cost tens of thousands of dollars. Guessing Bill’s take-home pay, he probably loved this car more than he had ever loved his ex-wife.

  Bill got in his car, slightly adjusted the mirrors, put on a pair of expensive sunglasses, and started backing slowly out of his driveway. Leech couldn’t help but laugh.

  “Wow. I wonder if this guy even realizes what a douche he looks like driving a Corvette in sunglasses. It’s probably never occurred to him.”

  While backing out of his driveway, one of his neighbors sped down the street. Bill hit his brakes and chose a random assortment of curse words.

  “You crazy jackass son of a bitch!”

  He followed that up by backing out of the driveway and then tail-gating the car that had just cut him off. Leech laughed again.

  “You have issues, Bill. Serious issues. Let’s see if I can use that to get you killed.”

  As Bill tail-gated other cars, swore, cut people off, and weaved in and out of traffic, Leech realized that he was actually a pretty skilled driver. Then he saw something that could tempt Bill to make some stupid driving decisions. A few cars over in the right lane was a guy in his early twenties driving a Dodge Viper. Leech made his way over to the Viper’s driver.

  “Look to your left. The douche in sunglasses driving the Corvette flipped you off earlier. You should teach him a lesson. You’re younger than him. You’re faster than him. Leave him and his corvette in the dust.”

  Leech saw the Viper’s driver look over at Bill. His eyebrows arched down in a frown. He made his way into the lane next to Bill and then revved his engine at the next stop light. Bill looked over and smiled.

  “Oh so the little Viper wants to play? Bring it on asshole!”

  When the light turned green, both cars took off. The Viper’s driver thought Bill was a jackass and Bill had to prove that he was faster than anyone, including twenty-something punks with something to prove. Daddy’s money doesn’t make you better than me, trust fund kid!

  Leech kicked back in the back seat of the Corvette and let it happen. When he thought the time had come for it to end, he pointed at an upcoming traffic light and changed it to yellow. Both cars decided to push past it. The light turned red before both cars entered the intersection. Bill, who was in the left lane, barely saw the car coming from the other direction in time to swerve. He overcorrected as he tried to straighten out his car in his lane and drove into oncoming traffic. Bill collided with the car of a mother of two who was taking her seven-year-old and ten-year-old to school.

  Leech stepped out of the car and watched what was happening. The ambulance was there within minutes. Bill was dead. The mother in the other car was dead. The kids were bleeding, but it looked like they were going to be alright. The total fatality count was only two. Hopefully that was enough to hold his spot in the rankings.

  Leech felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Baal smiling at him.

  “A little rough, but you pulled some deaths out of it. Let’s go assess the final numbers.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Baal hit his scythe against the ground and both of the demons disappeared in dark blue flames. They appeared in the room that Leech had started his trial in. Baal waved and a chair appeared which Baal offered to Leech. Baal went and sat at the other end where his throne had appeared. He grabbed the file and opened it.

  “So what made you decide to go with death by driving like an asshole?”

  “I saw aggressive driver and thought I could manipulate the circumstances to get him to mess up in a car.”

  “The keys and the wallet? I hope you realize that the whole wallet in the kitchen was an unnatural thought you forced into Bill’s head. In the real world, that’s taking a 50/50 shot. He could have just lost it and called in sick.”

  “That’s a fair criticism, General. I guess that’s why I’m still a demon-in-training hoping to learn from an experienced demon like you.”

  “Don’t start kissing my ass now, Leech. Vanity means I think
a lot of myself. Don’t confuse that for me giving a shit what others think about me. My entire department makes that mistake on a day-to-day basis.”

  “When I said I hoped to learn from an experienced demon like you, I didn’t mean you General. You’re far too busy to be dealing with things like that. There are many demons who are more experienced than I am. So while you may think what I just offered was a compliment, it wasn’t. It was an observation. Hell, I’m in fourth place. There are demons in this class that know what they are doing more than I do.”

  Baal smiled.

  “There we go. That’s the Leech I saw back in the death pit. You speak your mind and you care a great deal what you think about yourself. You remind me a little bit of myself. Even in feigned humility, your ambition takes precedence.”

  “Well I understand what could have happened if I had screwed it up. I didn’t screw it up though. I was able to think on my feet. I have at least two deaths from the trial. I’ll bet the kids were pretty messed up after the crash too.”

  “Yes I was just looking over the final numbers and the impact from your temptation of Bill. The mother in the other car died. Bill died. The driver of the Dodge Viper got away clean but the guilt ate at him for the rest of his life.”

  “And the little kids?”

  “I’m talking, Leech. Don’t interrupt me. This is the only time I’m going to say that.”

  “Sorry, General.”

  “The two boys were separated and raised in foster care. The seven-year-old was eventually adopted and turned into a Christian...”

  Baal sneered at what he had just read and then continued.

  “...The ten-year-old, however, was passed around from foster home to foster home until he had a foster father that drank and beat him. He ended up killing his foster father with a kitchen knife one night after he had passed out from drinking. He went to juvenile corrections and turned into a petty theft and small-time gangster.”

  “So from your two initial fatalities, we can add one extended fatality and a small-time thug who eventually went to Hell. Not a bad pull.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  Baal closed the folder and got up.

  “Just between you and me, this will be enough to keep you in fourth. Andras will come close but he’ll stay in fifth. We can’t have a wolf conjurer taking away your spot.”

  “Well I think it helps that I kicked his ass, too. Right?”

  “Yes. That helps. We have to make it look like he came close though. His temptation trial went slightly better than yours did. Not good enough to take you from fourth, I think, but it has to look like he came close.”

  “What about Lilith? Do you think I’ll knock her from third place?”

  “Doubtful.”

  Leech hung his head. Baal put his hand on his shoulder.

  “There’s nothing wrong with taking fourth place, young one. If you remember the order the major demons were appointed, you’ll recall that a very badass demon ended up taking fourth place. Do you remember which one that was?”

  Leech thought for a minute. Lucian. Cain. Vixen... and then...

  “It was you, General. You were the fourth appointed major demon.”

  “I was. Let me tell you a secret, Leech. I don’t fear Vixen. I don’t fear Cain. I fucking hate Lucian. In my own mind, I’m easily the first place pick every time.”

  Leech smiled.

  “I fucking hate Lucian too, General.”

  Baal couldn’t help but laugh.

  CHAPTER 16

  Leech was swarmed by demons-in-training as soon as he exited the temptation trial but he held out his hand and signaled for everyone to clear him a path. He then limped to where Shadow was waiting.

  “How’d it go?”

  “Not terrible. Baal pretty much guaranteed I’ll hold my place.”

  “Well maybe he is trying to recruit you after all. I’ve never heard of Baal guaranteeing anything to anyone. Interesting though, no one usually makes fourth place a minor demon right after the trials.”

  “He told me that I remind him of him. That must be all it takes. Besides, he didn’t say he was looking for a new minor demon. Maybe he’s just thinking I’d be a good recruit someday.”

  “How were your final numbers?”

  “Two fatalities, one extended fatality and one low-level thief that ended up in Hell. Baal said it wasn’t a bad pull.”

  Shadow looked impressed.

  “He’s right. If Baal wasn’t running the last trial, I honestly think it would be a tossup between you and Andras for fourth though.”

  Leech looked mildly annoyed.

  “I beat Andras in the death pit.”

  “Yes, you did. Do you know how many times a demon-in-training has been able to get a simulated human to summon him to earth, though? I’m not saying he’d take your place, I’m saying it would have been close.”

  “Baal said the same thing. He’ll probably end up within a few points of me.”

  Shadow and Leech noticed that everything had gone quiet around them. When they looked around, they saw Lilith entering the final trial.

  “Holy Hell! Is it gonna be like that every time that piece of ass walks somewhere?”

  Shadow expected Leech to comment but he realized that Leech had entered his dazed, drooling state. Shadow elbowed him hard in the ribs.

  “Ow.”

  Leech looked around to see what was happening.

  “Shit man. Is it going to be like that anytime we see her?”

  “What’s this ‘we’? I was fine.”

  “Yeah well I can’t help it. It’s that ass, Shadow. It’s so round and perfect and...”

  Shadow caught Leech staring again and he slapped him across the back of the head.

  “Stop looking at her, dumbass.”

  “Sorry.”

  Leech looked at the ground.

  “Tell me when she’s gone.”

  Shadow waited for Lilith to enter the final trial.

  “She’s in now.”

  “How do you think she’s gonna play it?”

  “The sex angle, obviously. She’ll go for a large number of bastards born that’ll end up being raised by single mothers. Some will turn that shit into a good life but the majority of them won’t. It won’t bring in a huge kill count but she could take more down to hell overall than... well...”

  “I get it. Lilith has me beat.”

  “You’re just lucky you didn’t have to face her in the last trial. That fight would have been the shortest goddamn fight in the history of the death pit. You would have just stared at her while she closed her whip around your neck and sliced your head clean off.”

  Leech opened his mouth to argue but then closed it and thought for a second.

  “You’re probably right. How did you get past it? Was it sheer force of will or did you have some... help?”

  “We’re not going to talk about that right now. Too many demons around. Yes though. I used it.”

  “Well did you use it just now? You seem like you’re still immune.”

  Shadow shrugged.

  “Lingering effects I guess. I hope it stays as a permanent thing.”

  “Can I borrow it sometime so I can get over her?”

  “Maybe on the day I trust you again.”

  Lilith’s trial ended with five women having abortions and an additional twenty five bastard children that eventually went to Hell. When Leech heard the numbers, it finally sunk in that he wasn’t moving up to third. As he hung his head and looked at the ground, he saw Valefor sneaking towards Shadow to grab his swords once again. Leech kicked him hard so he flew from his crawling stance to lying on his back. Leech pounced and brought a knife to his throat.

  “What the hell were you trying to do?”

  A large hand pulled Leech off of Valefor and he felt himself flying backwards through the air. A large hand of black mist caught him and set him down gently on the ground. Shadow helped him get up. When Leech saw who had appeared behind Valefor,
he realized that Nightmare had thrown him. He pulled his daggers from his belt but Shadow waved him off and stepped forward.

  “Are you here for round two of playing my bitch, Nightmare?”

  “We’re actually not here for you, fog fucker. We’re here for the runt. I just thought it would be funny to have Valefor steal your weapons again.”

  “Yeah and I didn’t let that happen, did I? Don’t come at Shadow again or I’ll kick your ass.”

  Nightmare laughed and threw up his hands in mock submission.

  “We’re not here to fight, little parasite. We’re here to let you know that someone passed you in the top ten.”

  Nightmare stepped out of the way and Andras was standing there smiling.

  “Actually, he didn’t quite make it. I’m holding my fourth place spot. Sorry to burst your bubble.”

  “Oh but he did. Andras agreed to serve me after the trials and I had my father call in a favor to Baal. You’re in fifth and Andras passed you in the rankings. Not only that, but I’m about to kick little Ms. Shadow out of his spot as well.”

  Shadow laughed.

  “That’s a good one. You do realize that I beat the living shit out of you in the death pit twice, right? If the major demons think you deserve to take first after that kind of humiliation then I fear for the future of Hell. Not only that, but Leech forced Andras to submit after two back-to-back matches. If he can’t even take a half-strength Leech, I don’t think we have to worry about Leech losing his spot either. You’re talking to your superiors and you had better get the hell out of here before you make us mad.”

  “That’s a pretty convenient threat to make when you know that...”

  Nightmare paused for a moment and pointed at Baal.

  “...I’m up next. Enjoy your spots while you can.”

  Nightmare, Valefor, and Andras turned and left. Nightmare walked up to Baal and then entered the temptation trial.

  “You should have killed him when you had the chance.”

  Shadow raised both eyebrows.

  “Excuse me? I’m pretty sure you had the same shot that I did Mr. Broken Throat.”